How Do You Love Me Now?

'You were talking to her
But messing with me
It’s finally clear
You’re blurring the lines
Are you disturbed?
Oh, now you care
Why do you race through my red lights?

Can’t understand
I’ll slow it down for you

Tell me how can you sleep?
How can you breathe?
Baby tell me how
How you love me now
Tell me how can you sleep?
How can you breathe?
I hate when you say
How you love me now

Save
Save it for her
I’m not gonna hear
Your reasons and “please-just-take-me-backs”
We never were right
Don’t waste your breath
You crashed and you’re on your own tonight

Can’t underst-'

"God I hate that song!" I screamed changing the radio station.

"Only because it reminds you of Brian." Kassie commented walking past my room.

"Shut up Kassandra!"

I groaned feeling a headache coming on, this morning was turning out to me a bad one, now a days it seemed like every morning some how ended badly. Then again it could be just me.

I rolled over hoping to get a few more minutes of sleep, sleep was the only salvation I had now, it was the only place I was completely happy. Don't get me wrong, I was happy with my current life but there was something missing, something I could never get back.

I'd never admit it but I missed Brian, I missed everything about him but I could never forgive him. Cheating is the carnal sin when it comes to relationships, maybe ifthe whore Leah wasn't pregnant we might have been able to move past it eventually but with her pregnant we couldn't.

I only have one regret from my whole life, but it wasn't leaving Brianand his sorry ass, it was not staying and trying to work it out with him so we could eventually be friends even if was just for the twins' sake.

Then again a big part of why I left was because it killed me that I wasn't the only girl pregnant with Brian Haner's child, and I didn't know exactly how many girls had the same claim to fame.

And to think the night I left was the night I planned on telling him that I was a little over eight weeks pregnant. I was so excited that night too, I thought after five years we'd be able to handle a child but clearly not if he couldn't even handle a relationship.

I sighed thinking how Brian was probably waking up to his perfect life with Leah and their kid while I was here in San Diego raising his twins.

"Mommy!" I heard the twins before I actually saw them.

Some days I did feel bad about keeping the twins from Brian, actually I felt bad almost every day when I saw him in them, but then I remember that they don't need a heartless bastard in their lives. And neither do I.

I smiled as I watched Tyler helped his sister on to the bed before climbing up himself, they were always helping each other. They glanced at each other before curling up next to me, one on each side like they did every morning.

"Mommy will you make pancakes please?" Jersey asked batting her eye lashes like Kassie taught her to do when she wanted something.

I nodded before getting up and grabbing a towel, "after my shower."

Jersey nodded before grabbing Tyler's hand and skipping out of the room whilesinging.
"Tell me how can you shleep?
How can you bweathe?
Baby tell you how
How me love you now"

I laughed listening to Jersey's attempt at the song, while I hated that song Jersey loved it.

- - - -

"Thanks for taking them," I told Ashley as she picked up the kids, so I could go do my job.

"No problem hun, just pick them up when you're done."

"Bye my munchkins, be good for Ashley." I told the twins as they waved back to me from the car.

I watched them as the car disappeared around the corner, once I couldn't see them anymore I sighed and pulled out my phone.

"Ya?" Kass answered sound distracted.

"We still on for tonight?"

I could practically see Kass nodding before realizing I couldn't see, "umm yeah. Did Ashley pick up the twins?"

"Yup, apparently she promised them ice cream or cupcakes or some junk."

"Ashley does love her sweets, the weirdo."

"She has an obsession with sugar, so see you at 8?"

"Naw more like 7, we need to leave earlier to make tidal wave."

"Got it." I said before hanging up with out exchanging good byes.

I frowned seeing another car pull into my drive way, I didn't know anyone who drove a black escalade. Then again most of my friends drove customized cars.

My frown deepened as I saw my brother getting out of the drivers side of the car while Jimmy climbed out of the passengers side.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as they got closer.

"Wow for my little sister who disappeared you've done pretty well for yourself haven't you?" Matt commented looking at the sheer size of my house.

I would be lying if I said I didn't love my house. San Diego was over priced but luckily I did well and was able to buy a house in Rancho Santa Fe, one of the most exclusive neighborhoods as well as on the beach.

"Thanks I'll take that as a compliment, but why are you here?"

"We need you to come back to Huntington," Jimmy told me looking around probably looking for the twins.

Yes, Jimmy knew about them. He went with me to the doctors when I found out since Jimmy was the closet thing I had to a best friend back then with Zacky coming in close second. He only got to see them when he could get away, which wasn't very often but frequent enough that they knew who he was.

I shook my head, "I'm never going back."

"Why not?" Matt asked getting mad. "You were the one that left Brian! You broke his heart!"

I glared, "I left for a damn good fucking reason, and if you'll now excuse me I have to leave this happy reunion."

"Alexia, we really need you to come back to Huntington." Jimmy pleaded with me.

I shook my head, "I'm never going back. Now I'm leaving."

Matt shook his head and picked me up, "no you'll coming back with us."

I kicked him here it hurts causing him to drop me. He glared at me while I smirked in response.

"Sorry but it had to be done, and I'm leaving and when I get back you'll be gone got it? Now let's do this again in four years kay? Call me then and we'll schedule a time and arrange all the details."

I smirked one last time before waving good bye to Jimmy and walking over to my car.

'Lights out
I found out
My falling star
Goodbye
The sun rises here
There’s no more you and I

Tell me how can you sleep?
How can you breathe?
Baby tell me how
How you love me now
Tell me how can you sleep?
How can you breathe?
I hate when you say
How you love me now
How you love me now
How you love me now'

'God I hate that song. So why does it keep coming back to haunt me?