How Do You Love Me Now?

'A note by the door simply explains
it's all that remains
it's no wonder why
I have not slept in days
The dust on the floor
Piled up from the years
All those scars
and souvenirs
Now that you're gone
it's easy to see
But so hard to believe

By the way
You left without saying
Goodbye to me
Now that you've gone away
All I can think about is
You and me
You and me

It's not like before
You left nothing here
it's all disappeared
It hurts me to see
That we've been a lie
Would it have hurt
you to try?

By the way
You left without saying
Goodbye to me
Now that you've gone away

All I can think about is
You and me
You a-"

I groaned before muttering that I hated this song which I did.

"Only because it makes you think of Alexia," a voiced said from somewhere behind me.

Startled, I rolled over only to land on the floor since I was on a couch before. I glanced up to see Zack laughing at me having muted the music video.

"Shut up, and what makes you think that?" I asked as I stood up and stretched my back.

"Well it was a known fact that Alex loves Theory for a Deadman and Daughtry, and you feel as though you can relate to the lyrics."

"Okay Dr. Baker how does my life relate to the lyrics?"

Zack paused probably thinking of how to put it, "the first line is 'A note by the door simply explains and Alex left you a note by the door with just good bye written on it. 'All those scars and souvenirs, now that you're gone'; those lines speak for themselves.

Now the chorus is 'by the way you left without saying goodbye to me. Now that you've gone away all I can think about is you and me.' Let's see Alex left without saying good bye and you're always wallowing in self pity probably trying to figure out how the relationship went wrong."

I nodded, "when the hell did you get do fucking smart?"

"Why do people always assume I have no idea? You know I could have been a therapist if I wasn't a rock star."

"You would have been a famous baseball player. Face it Zack there was no chance in hell of you becoming a therapist, you were destined for stardom."

"When did you become philosophical?"

"When you started using words like philosophical."

Zack rolled his eyes, "so wanna explain why you showed up at my door at midnight needing a place to stay?"

"Leah and I had a fight."

"About?"

"She thinks that we're ready for the next step."

"Which is?"

I sighed, "she wants to get married and start a family."

"Do you?"

Zack sighed as well, knowing I wouldn't answer, before going to the kitchen, leaving me to my thoughts.

I'd openly admit that I missed Alexia, I missed her with everything I had. She was my life, she still was even if I never saw her again. She truly was my second and better half, she made me a better person.

I shook my head and followed Zack knowing he was the only one that ever truly listened to me. Don't get me wrong the other guys did too but Matt still blamed me for his sister's leaving, Jimmy was always weird about the subject and well Johnny was never good at listening to problems.

But who could blame them? A part of me still blamed myself for her leaving even I didn't do anything, or at least I didn't think I did.

There was no one else to blame but my self, Alex was perfect so clearly it was me.

"I can't see myself having a future with Leah." I admitted to Zack walking into the kitchen after smelling pancakes.

"Good, then dump her." Zack replied sliding me a plate of pancakes.

"That's just it, I can't. She's just always. .I don't know how to explain it."

"She's always there, I get it Brian. I hate her but I appreciate that she's there for you when we're not and let's face it she keeps your mind off Alexia often enough that you don't die of alcohol poisoning."

I groaned, "I'm not drunk enough for this serious of a talk."

Zack nodded before telling about the rift he was working on. I listened knowing music was the perfect thing to take my mind offAlexLeahAlex Leah.

- - - -

After breakfast Leah showed up and apparently she was still pissed with me.

"Brian! We've been together for three years! Don't you love me?"No. "You know I do but I'm not ready for marriage."

"But I am! I'm almost twenty-seven, my biological clock is ticking, don't you want kids?"Not with you. "Some day but right now the band's doing really well and we're touring and I don't want to miss-"

"So take a break from the band." Leah said, as if it was some easy task.

"I can't."

"Why not? Are you saying the bands more important than this relationship?"

And here comes the deal breaker. "Yes I am. We've been dating for barley three years I've been friends with these guys for over twelve years. I can't let them down because you have some insane idea that you need to have kids now. And if you can't understand how much the band means to me, maybe I'm not the one for you."

Okay maybe I knew she wasn't the one for me so clearly I wasn't the one for her but I couldn't tell her that.

Leah glared at me, "I'll give you a couple days to re-think that Brian since we belong together. I wouldn't have stayed with you for the last three years if we weren't. I love you Brian and you love me so you re-think your life before you come back home."

Leah slammed the door on her way out leaving me to my thoughts since Zack had run off somewhere, I thought about what she had just said knowing Leah was wrong. I belonged with Alexia, I loved her and I sure didn't love Leah anywhere as much but how could I break it to her?

I sighed and grabbed the remote accidentally hitting the play button causing the video to play since Zack paused the video instead of muting it.

'nd me

It's sad to say that
This pain is
killing me inside
But it's time to say
That this pain is
keeping me alive
Twisting and turning
It rips through my heart
it's been tearing me apart

By the way
You left without saying
Goodbye to me
Now that you're gone away
All I can think about is
You and me
You and me

All I think about now
Is you and me
You and me
All I think about now
Is you and me
You and me

By the way
By the way
By the way'

'God I hated that song, so why did it always seem to be playing?