How Do You Love Me Now?

Matt's pov

"Bad news Mr. Sanders we only found one donor for your sister."

Glancing up, I sent a look at the doctor wondering how that was bad news.

"The only donor is a one Ms. Marie Sanders, but with the transplant her recovery chance would drop drastically. Actually I don't think she would survive another surgery, anytime soon."

"So what you're saying is I have to choose between my sister and my mother?"

"No, what I'm saying is you need to start looking at the realistic side and starting saying your goodbyes."

I glared at him before sighing and nodding understanding what he was trying to say. "Can I think about it?"

He nodded, "of course. I'll come see you later."

As soon as he walled out of the room I grabbed Alexia's hand, "I'm sorry Alexia.

"I mean I love you and mom, I don't know how to choose between the two of you. I know you hate her, but I love mom. She was always there for me but at the same time you're my baby sister, I'm supposed to always protect you."

Laying back, I closed my eyes letting memories of both of them swarm inside of me while replaying in my mind's eye.

- - -

"Why does mommy not love me?" Alexia asked trying and failing to stop crying.

"Because she's crazy, how could someone not love you?" Matt cooed trying to make as much sense of the situation as a 7 year old could.

"Matt, you'll always love me right?"

"Alexia, you're my little sister of course I'll always love you."

"Even if mommy and daddy no love me?"

"I'm not crazy like them, and I promise to always love and protect you."

"So you'll never let the monsters in the closet get me?"

Matt grabbed in his sister letting her curl into him, "nope. I promise to grow up strong too so I can always protect my little sister."

"I love you Matt."

"I love too Alexia."

- - -

"Mommy, I don't wanna go." Matt told his mom staying at the red brick building his mom called 'kindergarten.'

"I promise you'll have so much fun," his mom told him sitting on the floor to be at his level.

"What if they don't like me?"

"Then it's their lost because you by far are the funniest, coolest, and raddest five year I know."

"Really?"

"Yes, and think about all the new friends you'll make."

"But I don't need friends, I have you and sister."

"Maybe, but think how much fun it will be playing truck with boys instead of us girls."

Matt nodded realizing his mom was right, "I guess. But I still love you mommy."

His mom nodded wrapping him in a hug and kissing him on his forehead, "I'll always love you too Matthew."

- - -

"Mom, I want to start a band." Matt told his mom quickly closing in his eyes in anticipation of the yelling his friends had told him about when they told their parents.

Ms. Sanders glanced at her son, slowly thinking over the idea before nodding her head, "Okay, as long as you keep your grades up."

"Really? You're okay with it?"

"Why wouldn't I be okay with that?"

Matt shrugged not really sure what to say since the speech he mentally prepared was no longer needed, "don't you want me to have a dependable job like you?"

"No, I just want you to be happy. If you put your mind to it, you can do anything not like Alexia."

Matt smiled ignoring the insult at his sister like always, "thanks mom."

"No problem sweetie."

- - -

"Merry Christmas Mom!" Matt exclaimed returning his mom's hug as they stared at the decorated Christmas tree. "Where's Alex?"

Ms. Sanders rolled her eyes before shrugging, "you never know with that girl. She's probably off sleeping with that Haner boy again, you know how those two are."

Matt nodded, "ya I just thought we might celebrate it like a family."

"Hey are you saying that it's any less special with us two?"

"No, I just wanted it to be us three since I'm a senior and who knows where I'll be next year."

"Well did you tell Alexia this?"

"Ya, she promised to be here."

"You know you can't depend on Alexia, all that girl thinks about is herself."

"I guess, I just really thought this might be different since it's Christmas."

"Well this might cheer you up," Ms. Sanders stated in a happy tone handing her son an envelope.

Matt sighed glancing at the stairs before nodding and opening the envelope watching as a check fell out, "mom this is a check for almost three hundred dollars."

"I thought pulling all the money I was going to spend on presents anyways so you can use it towards the band."

"Mom! This is almost half of what we need to put out our ep!"

"I'm sorry I couldn't you more but thats all I had to spare."

Matt wrapped his mom in a huge hug not noticing that there weren't any presents under the tree for Alexia or that Alexia was sitting on the stairs watching their exchange, "mom this is amazing! You're the best, thank you so much."

"Well you're worth it Matthew, I love you."

"I love you too mom, always."

- - -

I glanced back at Alexia know exactly what I had to do, I squeezed her hand before walking out of the room to find the doctor.

"Hey doctor, I know what I want to do."