How Do You Love Me Now?

I growled and gripped the steering wheel tighter when I noticed the traffic on the 15. I figured there would be traffic but I was hoping there wasn't. I just wanted to get to my job.

Luckily the traffic also kept my from turning around, going back home, and killing Matt.

Who the hell did he think he is? Just showing up on my doorstep demanding that I go home. And to top it off he fucking yells at me when I said no, just because apparently I broke Brian's heart.

Well guess what Matt
Brian broke my heart first when he fucking cheated on me.

But does that matter?

No. Matt fucking expects me to be the one to go back to Huntington and make it all better.

News Fucking Flash
Maybe I don't want to fucking it. Maybe I don't want to be the one to fix it, maybe I want for once for him to fucking fix it.

Then again nothing to fix. He cheated on me, i found out and I left, end of story. He can go on living his perfect fucking life in Huntington with Leah and their children without me, while I live here in San Diego without him. My life was far from perfect, and news fucking flash I fuckingliked loved it that way.

I growled wanting more than ever to turn around and kill Matt, stupid traffic.

- - - -

I shook my head while I walked up the drive way to my dad's house, who also happens to be my boss. Despite him never being there for me before he have a pretty good relationship now.

"Oh look Andrew Alexia's here," Heather, my dad's girlfriend, told him after she opened the door.

God I hated Heather, I wanted nothing more to shoot her.

But of course I wasn't allowed to since my father won't tell her who he really was. That he was one of the most feared men on the West Coast. He wouldn't tell her any of this ever.

After I found him he told how after he told my mom who she really was, she ran all the way to Huntington. He took care of us by keeping an eye on us but he didn't want to risk our lives thats why he never contacted me.

I grew up hating my dad because my mom always told me that he left us. Then again I hated my mom too, she was never there for me. She hated me. She never told me but everyone knew.

My mom wanted only sons, she was always there for Matt. She blamed me for killing Mark, my twin brother, even though it wasn't my fault. My mom had gone into labor early and Mark was a still born, something I couldn't even control yet she hated me for.

I never wanted to be like her yet I was. And for this I hated Brian.

He had to cheat on me, but in the grand scheme of things no one would even blame him since I kept his kids from him. Sure some might be mad at him but then they would turn on me for leaving and keeping the twins.

I hated that he had to break my heart. I hated that I was vulnerable enough for heartbreak, I hated that I kept the twins from him. Being a single parent of twins was hard enough, but how the fuck was I supposed to answer the daddy questions?

I'm sorry but I left your father when I found out his paramour was pregnant with your half brother or sister. Ya that would go over so well with the twins.

I hated I had become one of those parents that used 'I'll explain it to your older' parents already. And they weren't even in school!

Fuck shooting Heather I'd rather shoot Brian any fucking day.

- - - -

"And now you wish that you meant something
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else
And now you wish that you met someone
And now you wish that you meant something to somebody else"

I sang along as I walked over Kass in the shooting range.

"You're singing along, you must be in a good mood then." Kass commented before handing me a gun.

I grinned, "the boys are coming to town. You'll get to see Max again."

Kass rolled her eyes, "you ditch your boyfriend and we never see him but we see my ex-husband all the time."

"Because unlike me, you're super tight with your ex!"

"Because you make me see him all the time!"

I rolled my eyes, "that's because I want you too to do the nasty and have a kid so we can be in laws!"

"In laws?"

"Well either Jersey or Tyler are marrying said love child."

"I'm not doing the dirty with Max so we can be in laws."

"You know you love having sex with Maxie, face it you miss it doing the dirty with him would be a dream come true."

"I don't have sex dreams about Max that's you."

"Shut up, don't make me add you to my 'to be shot' list."

"Who's on your list now?"

"Matt, Heather, Brian, and now you." I said counting the people on my fingers.

"When did you see Matt?"

"After Ashley picked up the twins."

"Interesting, and what now?"

I sighed, "can I shoot him?"

- - - -

"So why are we chasing him?" I asked Kass as we chased some guy down the beach.

"We have to make it look like a suicide, so we have to make it look like he drowned."

I nodded before jumping on the guy while Kass filled a plastic bag with water.

Once Kass got back we wrapped the bag around his head and waited. He struggled for a while before suddenly stopping. I checked his pulse before getting off him and checking for bruises.

I didn't see any so I knew my job was done here.

"Okay I'm going to go pick up the twins, can you finish this by yourself?"

Kass nodded, "ya so go pick up my single, not romantically involved niece and nephew."

I laughed before walking to my car and speeding off to Ashley's house.

- - - -

"Mommy where's our daddy?" Tyler asked when I picked them up that night.

"I'll tell you when you're older." I said gritting my teeth.

God I hated Brian.