How Do You Love Me Now?

Matt blinked, "does Brian know?"

I shook my head and stared at the floor, "no. I left before I got the chance to tell him."

"Jersey," Kassie scolded "Tyler, isn't way past your bedtime?"

Jersey stared at the floor as did Tyler but Tyler spoke up, "will unckle Jimmy and Matt be hewre when we wake?"

Everyone turned to Matt waiting for an answer, "only if your mommy makes pancakes."

All eyes turned to me, before cheering when I nodded.

"We loves you unckle Jimmy and unckle Matt and Kassie and mommy!" The twins chorused before skipping off to get ready for bed.

Matt turned to me, "I think we need to talk." He turned to Kassie and Jimmy before adding "alone."

I nodded, "we will after I tuck in the twins."

- - - -

"So you got a call from Leah saying she was pregnant with Brian's kid so you left?" Matt repeated and from him his tone I knew he didn't understand completely.

But I wasn't sure how else to put it. I didn't know how to explain to Matt what I was feeling at that time and I don't think he could fully grasp my heartbreak.

I looked away for a moment, "I couldn't deal with the knowledge that he hadn't only cheated on me but also that I wasn't the only pregnant with his kid. And what bothered me the most was that if two of us were pregnant how many were out there? How many kids did this guy have floating around?

"Cheating is the cardinal sin in a relationship but I would have been willing to move past it with him for the sake of the twins but I just couldn't when I wasn't the only one. How was he supposed to be excited and enjoy my pregnancy when he was going through it twice.

"And then it got me thinking about how if he was able to cheat on me, maybe he didn't love me as much as I loved him. Maybe he would call me a whore if I told him I was pregnant. All the what ifs were running through my mind but the one that stood out was what if I ran?

"So I did just that. I ran. I ran to the one person that I knew would never make me go back. The one person who would help me no matter what. The one person who would love me and accept me despite my choices. I ran to dad."

Matt didn't stop me once during my rant instead he just pulled me closer and let me cry into his shoulder. Every time I sobbed he would rub my back and kiss my temple letting me know he was staying.

I smiled as the tears dried up knowing I had my brother back. I could tackle the world now that I had my big brother there with me.

Matt and I were always really close growing up. All his friends had to love me or he stopped talking to them, and all my friends had to love Matt. We were each other best friend's always there no matter the problem, always readying to fight for the other or sit and comfort the other.

Whenever I got my heart broken Matt was the one to break his nose, and if he got his heart broken I was the one to give the girl a fat lip with a black eye to match.

If I got into a fight Matt was there to hold me back, and if he was in a fight I was right there beating up the guy's best friend. And after we were there to tend to the other's battle scars. Matt has never lost a fight since middle school and neither had I. We made one hell of a tag team.

But we also came to the other one with our problems. I came to Matt for advice on the guy I liked at the time and he came to me for girl advice. Matt always tried to pull the old 'protective' brother thing and tell me not to date the guy but I never listened but not once did he say 'I told you so' when the fucker made me cry.

I wiped away one stray tear knowing the time apart wasn't going to tear Matt and I apart or put us at each other's throat but rather bring us closer.If only I could fix my relationship with Brian.