Us; I love that

I sighed as I stood off to the side, fiddling with my gown. Graduation was today, and I had a bad feeling about it. I swiped the bangs out of my face, watching as people of all ages scattered in, finding their seats and chattering excitedly about their son or daughter. My parents couldn’t catch a plane to get here, so now I was alone-almost. Grammie was here and so was Nick. I smiled at the mention of his name, glancing down at the ring he had given me a few nights ago. I gently gripped his dog tag, moving for people to get around me. The sun was blinding, causing me to squint. Where was he, anyway? I had no clue. I really needed him to calm me right now. I sighed, realizing that I was way too dependant on him. Where was he going to college anyway? I hadn’t the slightest idea and I knew he didn’t either. I froze, feeling my heart pound. What if he went far away? Would I make it without him? I snorted at my own question. The answer was obvious; of course not. I grimaced, snapping me out of my thoughts. Missy was strutting over with that evil little smirk of hers. I hadn’t seen much of her or Blake around school, seeing as Nick tried to avoid them, but here she was now… in all her glory known as fake. Her eyebrows looked even more penciled in and I could tell she died her hair to a brighter blonde. Her nails were definitely from some salon and I was surprised she was actually wearing this long graduation gown.

“Oh, Mitchie,” she grinned, scrunching up her nose like a pig. I tried my best to smile, but I knew she was over here for some reason.

“Missy…” I acknowledged, trying to scan the crowds for Nick.

“Lover-boy’s with the principle. I actually overheard them talking. Nick seems to have a tremendous offer,” she chuckled, setting her hands on her hips. I eyes her carefully.

“What are you talking about?”

“I see some far away college in his future,” she snickered, stepping closer. I narrowed my eyes. “You see here, Mitchie, things don’t go all perfect. Not even for me, as you may know. But everyone has to give up the best thing in their life. It’s your turn.” I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. She sighed dramatically. “I heard him tell Nick his college choices; two major offers. Isn’t he so lucky?” she smirked. I gave her a reluctant nod. “And they’re two things he’s absolutely fond of, I’m sure you know. Music and baseball.” I found myself smiling, but her smirk set me off. “And can you guess where they are? Hmm… baseball was in Texas-” she paused, raising that fake brow once again. I felt my heart slow. That was a good time away from New York and I had a feeling the music choice wasn’t any better. “And the other… it’s in California.” I felt my whole body completely freeze. California? That was… so far away. I knew he’d choose that one, it was his newest dream, but I felt myself grow sick as she snickered. “Aww, Mitchie, it’ll be okay. I’m sure he won’t forget about you… at first-” I took a shaky breathe, ready to listen to her. “You see, California is a large state. So many opportunities… so many girls. I wouldn’t be surprised if he dropped you, finding someone better. I’m not saying you aren’t just peachy, because he obviously went for you, not me. But there’s always someone better… now if I were you, I’d end it before you got hurt, get me?” I paused to let her words sink in. he would find someone better than me. He would forget about everything we ever did-every feeling he made me feel. He wouldn’t love me like he said he would. He’d be in California, pursuing his dreams while I’d be stuck here, worrying if some girl was hitting on him. And that was it-every girl would try for Nick, he was just too perfect and sweet. I felt my heart break as she patted my back and scurried away without a word. End it before you get hurt. I sniffled, seeing Nick come forward with an exasperated look.

“Mitchie, what’s wrong?” he asked softly. His voice was so calming, even now it was hard to resist him. I loved him… but I couldn’t.

“I-I heard about your offers-Texas and California…”I choked out. He watched me with curious eyes.

“Umm… yeah. I just found out, too. What’s wrong?” he repeated, stepping closer. I let myself grab his hand, realizing that he would never hurt me intentionally.

“Nick,” I whispered, looking into those mesmerizing eyes. “I’m proud of you, I really am… and I do love you, but-” I paused, watching his eyes go blank. I shut my eyes tight, letting every noise be blocked away. “I can’t do this. I know your choice-California. Your so talented and I just… why is it so far? I can’t-”

“Mitchie,” he cut me off quickly, snapping my eyes open by the stress of his tone. I watched his frantic face-he was so beautiful and it crushed me even more. “I… I don’t have to go. I can go to Texas. I’ll take you with me-anywhere. Don’t do what I think your doing.” I had never seen him so desperate. I wanted to take it back, but he would find someone better. He deserved better.

“I want you to do your music. I want you to have a life. And… I’ll hold you back-” I choked out again, watching his eyes become watery. He blinked the tears away, staring at me blankly. I couldn’t get rid of my tears.

“Why?” was all he asked.

“You’re so much better,” I whispered, letting his hand go. My hand turned limp without his warmth and I knew it’d never be mine again. I wanted to take it back as I looked into his eyes. They were blocking me once again. I tried to open my mouth, to say it was a joke-a late April Fool’s prank, but I couldn’t speak.

“Why are you doing this to me? Mitchie, do you even know that I love you? Do you know that I meant it and I always have? That I always will love you and only you? Why are you doing this?” I let out a whimper.

“Nick, please-”

“No Mitchie,” he shook his head, backing up. “Just… no,” he whispered, looking at me one more time. I squinted to see a tear slide down his cheek, but before I could speak, he turned around, running off into a direction as fast as he could. I watched as he ripped the graduation gown over his head and flung it to the ground.

What have I done? was all I could think. He was really gone. I had no reason to do that, but my stupid low self-esteem got in the way. Wouldn’t he forget me? His words played in my mind again. “Why are you doing this to me? Mitchie, do you even know that I love you? Do you know that I meant it and I always have? That I always will love you and only you? Why are you doing this?” I closed my eyes tight, letting the tears fall, not bothering to move as people bumped into me. It was official; I’m the idiot that would graduate today. And I already missed Nick.