People Change

Sydney thought she’d felt the worst of the pain when she caught Brian spilling his cheating guts with Michelle in the mall. Surely, after that dagger straight in the heart, no pain could amount to it. But she’d been wrong, horribly wrong. Hearing that Brian was over her, so quickly after they’d separated, made Sydney feel as though her heart broke again, crumbling inside her ribs like ashes in a long-lost fire.

Sydney sat on her windowsill three weeks after she’d spoken with Brian over the phone, her fractured ankle extended out in front of her on the floor while her other leg was curled on the windowsill, tucked neatly under the thigh of her wounded leg. She rested her forehead against the cool, rain-splattered window and closed her eyes, hating how much the gloomy, rainy day reminded her of that terrible day two months or so before. She knew that unless something drastic happened to change her perspective, rain would always symbolize a point in her life where pain reigned and happiness faltered.

Fortunately, Sydney wouldn’t see Brian again until Jimmy’s 4th of July barbeque, his first big barbeque of the year. Unfortunately, that barbeque was only a few months away, and every day brought Sydney closer to the inevitable run-in with Dickhead himself. Her sadness about her current situation even began to affect her relationship with Lanie, and how she lived her life. Sydney retreated more and more to her room, sitting either on her windowsill or on her bed for indecent amounts of time, just staring down at the street below or at her blank walls.

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had fun, or gone out on the town with Lanie. Lanie constantly invited her to come eat dinner or lunch with her and Matt, but Sydney always refused, preferring to eat her dinner or lunch by herself, sitting at the little kitchen table. She didn’t feel any interest in anything anymore. She just wanted to sit and think and wallow.

Sydney opened her eyes when she heard the bedroom door slide open. She stared down at the dripping street below her, watching the parade of umbrellas pass briskly by. In the corner of her eye, however, she watched Lanie approach her and crouch down beside Sydney.

“Listen, bitch, you can’t go on like this,” Lanie sighed. Sydney ignored her. She knew Lanie was right, but that didn’t make her want to hear it even more. “Sydney, look at me. Look at me. Look. At. Me. SYDNEY!”

Sydney flinched as Lanie’s rough bark fell upon her ears. Slowly, knowing how childish it was but not caring, she turned her head and slid her gaze downwards to meet Lanie’s eyes. She looked equally angry and upset with Sydney.

“I never took you as a girl prone to selfishness,” Lanie continued quietly, reaching up a hand and turning Sydney’s face back towards her when Sydney tried to turn away. “But this...sitting in your room all day, refusing to live your fucking life...It’s selfish, dearest. And it’s not you. So Brian fucked up big and broke your heart. Be the better woman, forget about his cheating ass, and move on. Get someone better and move the fuck on.”

“Easy for you to say,” Sydney said quietly, shifting her gaze away from Lanie’s to look back down at the street. Lanie sighed and moved, crouching instead next to Sydney’s outstretched leg and resting her crossed arms on her best friend’s thigh.

“You think I haven’t experienced heartbreak before? I have, and it hurts like hell, but you have to move on sometime. Don’t let the mistake of a worthless asshole like Brian affect your life so much. You need to live, babe, and this is not living,” Lanie continued.

“It’s too soon,” Sydney whispered, refusing to look at Lanie.

“It’s been two months, Syds. That’s long enough, especially to get over such a fuck-up as Brian,” Lanie answered calmly. “But you don’t have to worry. I’ve set up a double date with me and Matt and you and Jason for—”

“I won’t go,” Sydney interrupted. “You can’t push me to heal. You can’t push me to get over him and you can’t push me to go out with Jason because I won’t. I can’t. I won’t go, and you can’t make me.”

Lanie turned a little red in the face. She rose to her feet, and Sydney expected her to slap her upside the face, but instead Lanie grabbed Sydney’s arm and pulled her to her feet. Lanie dragged her into the bathroom, with Sydney limping slightly on her ankle. She’d had the cast taken off, but she still walked with a bit of a limp. Lanie turned her in front of the mirror, pointing at their reflections.

“See that girl? Do you fucking see her, Sydney?” Lanie snapped, looking angrily up at Sydney.

“Yes.”

“Tell me what you see.”

“A broken heart.”

“See this girl?” Lanie grabbed a picture frame from the sink counter. Inside the frame was a picture of Lanie and Sydney standing together in front of the bakery on opening day. Lanie pointed at the Sydney in the picture. “Tell me what you see.”

“Happiness and excitement,” Sydney answered quietly.

“What else?”

“Life,” Sydney whispered. Lanie held the picture up to Sydney’s reflection in the mirror.

“Which one do you like better?”

Sydney remained silent.

“Which one, Sydney?” Lanie repeated, a little rougher this time. She knew it was a little cruel of her to do this to Sydney, but Sydney needed to see that life wasn’t all about heartbreak or healing hearts. There was more to life than Brian, and Sydney needed to realize that so she could heal.

Slowly, Sydney stretched out a long arm and pointed at the picture frame. Lanie looked over to see several tears pouring down Sydney’s cheeks, her blue eyes watery with unshed tears. Lanie put the picture frame down and gently embraced Sydney. Sydney rested her head against Lanie’s shoulder, still crying.

“I’ll go,” Sydney gasped around her tears. “Find me something to wear in my closet, and I’ll go.”