Your Way Is My Way-a Gerard Way Story

I woke up this morning to screaming; probably Tori since it sounded like a girl, but then again you should hear the guys scream…
Anyway, I woke up, -Gee not there, why doesn’t he ever just stay? - headed into the kitchen and found Ray passed out at the table, his afro covering his face. Oh no, it’s eating him! Sitting next to Ray with a video camera was Bob, the camera pointed at Ray’s afro. What the fuck is he doing?
I stood where I was in the doorway, trying to figure out what in the hell Bobward was doing. He began to talk.
‘’The afro is quite an amazing creature. Even though it’s attached to this insane human being, the afro has a mind of its own. This afro is known to be stubborn and doesn’t like being groomed by its owner. It-‘’ he stopped talking when he heard me laughing from the doorway.
‘’Y-you sound like that guy from Animal Planet,’’ I said in between laughs, ‘’why are you making a documentary on Ray’s afro?!’’
Bob clicked the camera off. ‘’I figured it would get a lot of views on Youtube. Like, who wouldn’t want to learn the facts about Ray Toro’s afro? Just don’t tell him I’m doing this, I’m actually surprised you haven’t woken him up with your cackling yet.’’
I smirked. ‘’OH, RAY!!’’ I yelled. Ray woke up with a start.
He saw the camera in Bob’s hand. ‘’What the fuck are you guys doing?’’ he asked, patting down his frantic afro.
I felt like selling Bob out. ‘’Bob was making a documentary on your afro. I know, weird,’’ I said rolling my eyes.
Ray glared at Bob. ‘’You leave my afro alone, you video games freak with anger problems and funny hair!’’
Bob pretended to laugh. ‘’Ha, look who’s talking.’’
I basically ignored the rest of the stuff they said, but the argument ended up as follows. Bob got chased out of the house by Ray, who was trying to get the camera away from Bob before he could download it on Youtube. Poor Ray, I guess he forgot how fast and strong Bob is. He was already down the road.
I went back upstairs to change into fresh clothes. But as I looked around, on the walls I noticed water was dripping down onto the carpet. Well, this is quite weird. Cautiously, I opened my bedroom door, and as soon as I did, I got hit in the face by a squirt of ice cold water.
‘’AH!!’’ I screamed, snapping my eyes closed and wiping off my face.
‘’Oh, sorry! I thought you were Tori…’’ said a voice that I recognized as Frank. He is going to be one dead Pansy, mark my words!
I opened my eyes and glared at him. In his hand he held a squirt gun, one you would buy at a dollar store or something. Well this explains the water on the walls. It might also explain the scream I heard earlier. That is, unless Jamie hadn’t had enough ‘’fun’’ last night and decided to please herself again. Ew, what a thought to have at 8:00 in the morning.
‘’Whatever, I have to talk to you, though,’’ I said, sitting down on Tori’s bed frank sat next to me.
‘’Okay…’’ he said cautiously. God only knows what he was thinking I was going to say. I could almost hear the monkey with cymbals banging away in his head, trying to get Frank to think.
I told him about what Gee and I saw last night, with Jamie sneaking upstairs with another guy. He didn’t look all that surprised.
‘’Well, that’s not a shocker,’’ he said, ‘’she’s already tried hitting on me once before, that little whore.’’
I pretended to be choking. Frank whacked me on the back.
‘’S-she HIT ON YOU?!’’ I yelled out laughing, ‘’EW!’’
Frank glared at me. ‘’Hey! I’m not that bad. You’re just jealous of my sexiness.’’ He started posing like a stuck-up male model, making me laugh even more. He never ceases to amaze me with his stupidity.
Frank stopped posing and got his serious face on. ‘’Um, would you be able to tell me if Tori likes me or not?’’
‘’She might…aw, does someone have a wittle cwush on Tori?’’ I asked, talking to Frankie in a baby voice.
Frank crossed his arms. ‘’No…I just wanted to know what she thinks of me.’’
Yeah right Frank, you’ve always been the worst at lying. DON’T LIE TO ME! I know you like Tori, Frank. I CAN READ YOUR MIND! Okay, I actually can’t, but that’s only because your head is filled with hot air and/or a monkey playing the cymbals. Don’t blame me for your stupidity!
I was about to answer to Frank’s LIE OF AN ANSWER, when Tori kicked open the door, also holding a squirt gun. Something tells me I’m going to get drenched. Good thing I’m not wearing a white t-shirt.
And, of course, my prediction came true. I think Tori was aiming at Frank, but he moved at last minute and got me instead. THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH FRANK!! (Obviously sarcasm, once again).
‘’Ha ha, oh sorry, Anna!’’ Tori laughed. Her t-shirt and skinny jeans were soaked in water, including her hair. Looks like Frank already got to her.
I forced a laugh, trying not to shiver from the water that was now going through to my bra. You can imagine that I was uncomfortable.
‘’Um, it’s okay, I was just leaving. You two continue with your water fight,’’ I said, leaving the room with a dry t-shirt in my hand.
I got changed in the bathroom and found Gerard in the livingroom, watching Jackass. I love that movie; I end up on the floor laughing every time I see it. I even got to meet Johnny Knoxville once, and let me tell you, I don’t think he’s going to want to be anywhere near me anytime soon. I nearly attacked him when we met; I was just overflowing with joy. Oh come on, you know you’d act like that too if you got to meet Johnny Fucking Knoxville! But in my case he had to call in his bodyguard…
So I plopped down on Gee’s lap, laughing along with him as we watched Johnny destroy a car he rented in one of those ‘’Destroy a Car’’ rally things. It made me want to be the person driving the big monster truck.
Jamie came downstairs at that moment, her hair in knots and a satisfied look on her face. It made me want to shoot her in the face with Frank’s squirt gun. Although a real gun wouldn’t hurt either. It would just hurt for Jamie, but not for long. Ha, I’m so evil.
‘’Where’s the man whore you fucked last night?’’ I asked, giving Jamie an I-know-what-you-did-last-night smile. Believe me, I had to force it. Smiling at her is almost like smiling at the Princess Whore of Hell herself.
‘’He left,’’ she said, making herself comfy in the recliner chair, ‘’and I know what you’re thinking of doing. Go ahead, tell Mikey, it’s not like he’s going to believe you anyway.’’
I was about to say something back, but at that moment Mikey came in the front door. Why am I always being cut off?!
That’s when I remembered that Mikey never came home last night. Where the hell had he been?!
Once Jamie saw him, she got a look of concern across her face. I obviously knew she was acting and so did Gerard. Mikey walked over to Jamie and hugged her, glaring at Gee and I intently. He turned back to Jamie and practically stuck his tongue down her throat. Before I could even think about throwing up, Gee dragged me out of the room and upstairs. The water that was on the walls earlier had dried up, and Frank and Tori were nowhere in sight. That is, until Gerard dragged me to the guest bedroom, planning on spending some ‘’alone time’’, when we found two people locked in a deep kiss. Tori and Frank. Well, that was sort of expected. Not wanting to interrupt them, we quickly left the room. I almost banged into Mikey, who had just appeared at the top of the staircase. Curiosity got the best of me.
‘’Mikey, where were you last night?’’ I asked him, now that we were alone. Gee had gone off, he had a phone call.
Mikey just glared at me, his hair disheveled and his glasses slightly crooked. ‘’Why should I tell you?’’ he asked harshly. It made me wince.
‘’Because you didn’t come home last night, and we were worried.’’ Two weeks of not talking to Mikey is long enough, I’m fixing this right now.
Mikey just stayed silent. He walked past me into the bathroom, closing the door in my face and I heard the sink running.
‘’Mikey,’’ I said loudly, trying to make myself heard over the running taps, ‘’I want my best friend back.’’
I heard the water turn off as soon as I said that. Did this mean he was going to listen?
‘’What were we fighting about before anyway?’’ He asked, his tone sounding a lot less harsh, more apologetic.
‘’ I honestly don’t even remember,’’ I said, and I really didn’t remember what the fight was about. All I know was it had something to do with Jamie. Everything had to do with Jamie nowadays.
There was a silence, but then Mikey and I said at the same time, ‘’I’m sorry!’’ Hm, demented minds think alike, don’t they?
Before I could say anything else, Mikey swung the door open and embraced me in a bone-crushing hug that lifted me off the ground.
‘’I’ve missed being your friend,’’ Mikey said, still clinging onto me as I started to lose oxygen. Why am I always the one getting strangled to death? Why couldn’t someone do this to Jamie for once?! But considering how she’s a cockroach and cockroaches never die, I doubt the idea of crushing her would work. Damnit….
‘’Mikey!’’ I yelled in his ear, and he dropped me on my butt. ‘’Ouch!’’ I said, getting up slowly and punching him in the arm.
‘’Fuck!’’ he yelled, and suddenly he had a squirt gun in his hand. Where the hell did he get that?! Oh, now I see. Tori and Frank left their squirt guns near the bathroom on their journey to the guest room. I could see how making out while holding water guns would be weird, even for Tori.
I picked up the second gun, and Mikey and I ran around the house ‘’shooting’’ each other. I hid under the kitchen table, when Mikey suddenly popped out of nowhere and shot me in the back of the head.
‘’Yay! I killed you!’’ Mikey said, doing a little victory dance, making me roll around on the kitchen tile laughing my brains out.
‘’Hey, dead people aren’t supposed to laugh!’’ Mikey shouted.
‘’Oh! Sorry…’’ I said, and then I lay sprawled out on the floor, pretending to be dead. Tongue sticking out and all, people would probably just assume I was poisoned or something if they saw me like this. Now Mikey was the one laughing. I slowly reached for my water gun that was inches away from my hand, grabbed it, and shot that cackling mad man in the face. He fell on the floor too, pretending to be dead.
I poked him in the side, knowing he’s ticklish (spazzing out when someone pokes you must run in the family), and Mikey started laughing again.
‘’What the fuck are you guys doing?!’’ an angry voice shouted at us. Looking up, I realized it was Jamie. Great, what did she want from me now?