The Torn Black Parade

*Gerard's POV*

That Weekend- 1:40 P.M

I was slumped on the couch in my bat pajama pants, a new bag of Tostitoes on my lap and my feet lounging on the dark coloured wood of the coffee table. I was looking for some decent shit to watch when suddenly someone *guess who* shouted, "TOSTITOES!!!!!"

I jumped up causing the mostly full bag to land, open side down, on the floor. Mikey pounced on it like a cat hunting a mouse.

"Damn Mikey! I knew you liked Tostitoes but hell-"
"MY TOSTITOES!"

He looked up at me, his glasses falling down to the brim of his nose and he still had a bit of a bed-head. I laughed to myself at how excited he got, "Um.. Right.."

I left the living room and went down to my room to grab a few clothes. I opened up the third drawer of my dresser and picked up my favorite pair of faded black jeans. I threw those onto my my bed, the dark colour blending in with the navy blue covers.

Just as I opened the second drawer to pick out what shirt I going to wear for the day the phone rang. I heard the annoying ringing echo through the house. I forced myself to look at the shredded wire that was once connected to a phone. That was one thing I couldn't hide from my Mom...

*flashback*

"GERARD GET DOWN HERE!" I heard Moms shout even though I was three floors above her, in the attic. I always came here when I wanted to get away from shit but Mom.. well you can't away from her.

I jumped down from the hole in Mikey's ceiling, always something I envied of his room, and ran down the two flights of stairs down to my room.

There stood Mom staring at the smashed pieces of phone. "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED DOWN HERE!" She turned and looked at me with anger and worry in her eyes.

I glanced down at the floor and started talking, "Well I-"

*flashback interrupted*

"GEE! GEE! GEE!" the familiar voice of Mikey called repeatedly and the next thing I knew he was jumping' around in circles around me. "What!? What!? What!?" I asked back.

"Gramma's comming today!!" He announced happily. Just at thinking of her I felt happy. I loved her so much and well we had such a connection. She taught me everything I know. I once drew a picture for her of how I pictured her in her younger years; Ageless, Beautiful, and Perfect. All things I could never be, but loved her for anyway.

"Well get dressed then, you dirt bag!" I shoved him playfully up the stairs. "Well at least I don't smell like shit!", He called back. Ha, I love that kid.

I headed back to my dresser to pick out which shirt to wear for the day. I looked at the collection of black shirts. Black Flag. Perfect.

I grabbed that rest of the crap I needed and headed up to the second floor. I walked into the bathroom and was about to close the door when I heard a husky voice call my name, "Hey, Gerard, you forgot something?"

I turned to face my Dad who had a fresh white towel in his hand. "Yeah thanks" I replied as he threw the towel into my free right hand and shut the door with my foot. I dropped all the crap on the floor. I slipped out of my bat pj's ( I like calling them pj's ) and threw it into the corner.

I stared at myself in the mirror.

I looked like shit.

I smelled like shit.

Hell, I was shit!

I turned the water on until you could see steam starting to form. I checked the temperature with my foot. Hot. Just the way I liked it. I climbed in and continued to rinse myself when I felt words form in my head. Words that made a new song. 'What is it with me and song now?' I thought to myself.

So I opened my mouth and listened to the words my mind had formed.

"Someday, this day, we kept falling down
Someday, this day, set the ferris wheel ablaze
You left my heart an open wound
And I love you for
This day, someday we kept falling
One day, this day all we had to keep us safe
And if we never sleep again, it would never end
Well I thought I heard you say to me
We'll go so far, far as we can
And I just can't stay, one day we'll run away"
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Those words were words that stuck n my head all day. Even after dinner and after dessert and after playing Monopoly with Mikes and Grams. Mikey was tired after playing the game for an hour and a half.

" 'night Mikes!" I called to him as he walked up to his bedroom. "Goodnight Sweetie!", Gramma called up to him too. "Good night" He replied half asleep.

Once we heard his door close Gram look up at me with her serious hazel eyes darker then mine, "Gerard I think we should talk, about... Stan"

I looked away form her. "Why do we have to talk about that?"

"Gee, Honey", she placed her hand lightly on mine, " I know how much you cared about him. You don't have to hide the pain-"

"WHAT PAIN! I only loved him with my whole heart, my ONLY heart! What "pain" does that leave me with!?" I shouted as my temper got the best of me, but she didn't even flinch. I felt the tears in the corner of my eyes, "I loved him.."

She nodded her head, "I know it hurts Gerard, I know it does.. People sometimes, even though it may seem so unfair to us, sometimes the have to leave us"

"But why? I loved him so much, I don't want him to be gone! I want him still here with me.. I want that so .. so badly.." I sniffed as I realized no matter how strong I wanted him back I would never get him back. I leaned into her and sobbed. I cried until I couldn't cry any longer, until all the tears I had bottled up inside were shed.

"It's okay Gee.. It's okay" She soothed as she held me. I pulled back and sat up straight trying to regain the manhood and guard I had put down, back up.

I remember about the song I had wrote in my sketchbook. "Grams, I have something I want you see.. or listen to.." I didn't give her a chance to respond as I ran to get the sketchpad. I bought it back up with the page open. I sat right across from her on the couch, "Okay.. Well I wrote this the day well.. I wrote it that day"

I sang to her those words I had written ending with, "Tell me where we go from here......"

She just sat there looking at me. I stared at the floor and started tapping my feet out of self-at consciousness. "Oh my Gerard.. That.. That was beautiful!" I looked up at her to see her smiling at me, that bright room brightening smile. I smiled back, "Thanks Gramma, I was actually thinking.. Do you think I should - you know - think I should start a band?"

She thought for a second, "Gerard all I can tell you is do what feels right"

"Gramma, this feels right."