Free From the Wood, Yet Slave to the Heart

Colin had said it firmly, without restraint. He asked for the search to be called off in a manner that made it seem as though this didn’t hurt him even though it was quite possibly one of the most painful things he had ever experienced. The look of shock, mingled with confusion, that graced Goroan’s features let Colin know that the other man was as surprised by this decision as Colin himself was. Colin explained himself as thus: “Now is not the time to search for one woman when the lives of thousands are at stake.”

“As you wish, your Majesty,” Goroan said after a long silence, his voice sounding oddly constricted.

“Thank you,” Colin said, nodding to his Spymaster and retreating from the room. He closed the door behind him, slumped briefly against the wood as if in defeat, then righted himself and strode down the corridor. It was time, once more, to consult Tessalyn, if she would consent to speak with him.

*

Tessalyn knew who knocked upon her door before he even announced himself, and she bade him enter. The relationship between the Seer and her nephew had been rocky for a while, but it seemed that he was willing to disregard the awkwardness and hurt feelings as long as she was. And she was more than willing to end this silent hostility.

“I…” Colin began, but she held up a hand, returning the small mirror held in the palm of her hand to the small pouch it belonged to, which hung from her sash.

“You have made a noble decision, Colin,” Tessalyn said gently, resting her hand on his shoulder. “A lesser man would not have called off the search for the woman he loved as you have done.”

Colin clenched his fists and looked town. It was clear to see that his jaw was tense, but he managed to force out, “I know it’s the right thing to do. We cannot afford to have the soldiers spread out so much in the effort to find a single person. Yet I can’t help but wonder; if I had waited another day, two more, would we have found her trail once more?”

“We cannot linger on the ‘ifs’ of the matter,” Tessalyn said firmly, removing her hand and motioning for the young King to come farther in and take a seat. “I can tell you, however, that she is well. And I believe your meeting might be even closer than I before thought, but it is unclear as to when and where it will be. You will meet her again, Colin, so do not fret.”

He lowered his head again, but nodded.

“Now,” Tessalyn said lightly, “how is young Carson healing up? Why don’t we take a walk and visit the Arlesters once they’ve settled in a bit more to their temporary lodgings?”

*

They did visit the Arlesters, who were settling in just fine and who all thanked the king profusely for his generosity, which made him flush and repeat that it was nothing and that it was the least he could do for their services. It really was embarrassing to him to be thanked over and over again for something he had done as a thank you itself, and also as a way to ensure the best healing possible for the seventeen year old who was injured. Tessalyn took her leave shortly, saying she needed to speak with the general, and Cain Arlester asked to accompany her, so he left, too.

If he had known that his offer would be met with such overwhelming gratitude, he mused as he finally made his way back to his rooms, he wasn’t entirely sure if he would be able to make the offer again.

And it was only when he reached his rooms that the repercussions of all he had done that day set in.

He had invited the Arlesters to stay; radicals might say that it was favoritism, but most of his citizens would say that it was his kind nature. Since he had invited them to stay, he was embarrassed every time he encountered an Arlester because they would thank him eagerly and loudly for it.

The bigger one, the one that had more inner than outer repercussions, was his decision to call off the search for Raya. It was the right thing to do, of course, but it had hurt him to make a decision, and even after talking with Tessalyn briefly he still had his worries. What if the future changed because he had called off the search? What if something happened to her that Tessalyn hadn’t foreseen and they never meet again? And the one that plagued him most was, what if it was just going to take one more day to find her? And he just called the whole thing off abruptly.

To even instigate the search in the first place was a rash move, he realized, pacing the length of his sitting room. If he had been more alert, he might have been able to have a head start on the minotaurs and wargs, but he had thinned his forces by choosing to search for the mysterious, beautiful, brave girl who had made his escape from the Royal Forests - the Goblin Wood - possible. The thinning out of his men made them less able to defend where they ought to have defended - the farmstead on the edge of the forest, just on the other side that had been attacked by wolves was a prime example. And if he had still had the full guard on the mouth of the valley rather than just half of it, perhaps they wouldn’t have been caught so off guard by the attack.

“What have I done…?” Colin asked softly.

And perhaps, he realized also, it could have all happened the same way had he not made the decisions he did. He would never know now, though, he decided, so it was no use fretting over it.

The king heaved a sigh and pulled out a chair to sit at his desk, beginning to pore over a few books on tactics that he had retrieved from the palace library in order to study. There would be another attack, he was certain, and this time he was determined to prevent loss of life as much as possible and make the right decisions to do so along the way.