I'm Too Young To Worry

I sighed deeply.

Today wasn’t exactly a good day. I couldn’t believe what had happened just moments ago. I couldn’t believe that he didn’t choose me. I was the perfect choice. Or that’s what I thought at least.

I worked so hard for it too. I worked for hours on this too. I tried my best. I tried my hardest, and I didn’t make it.

Why was this happening to me? Why was I the one who never got what she wanted? I was the one wishing she got everything everyone else had.

I stood up, and I grabbed my backpack, slinging it onto my back.

I walked in the empty hallways, making loud clicking noises. I wasn’t even wearing high heeled shoes, and the noise was beginning to annoy me. It was almost like everything wanted to annoy me today.

Valary decided to hang out with that slut Veronica, during lunch today. That’s when I needed her the most! I mean, I love Michelle, but she was no Valary.

Michelle was always hanging out with that... that group, that infuriating group.

My right hand went to my hair, toying with some of my light brown locks. Oh, how I loved to tease my hair. And everyone could tell too.

You could still see the black streaks that used to be so very prominent. Not to mention the red tint that was still fairly noticeable, and there was the occasional blond strand in there somewhere.

The wind blew furiously at me, as I opened the school’s entrance doors. My hair was flying everywhere, and I didn’t have a hair tie on me.

Typical.

I sighed once more, as I began walking back to my house.

I couldn’t believe that I stayed after school to be rejected. I was so stupid. I knew that I wasn’t going to get what I wanted; I never do.

My feet were dragging on the sidewalk. I wasn’t exactly in the best of moods, as you can tell. I wasn’t ecstatic to get home either.

I knew that my mom would be waiting anxiously at the front door for me to tell her if I got what I wanted. I didn’t want to tell her that I didn’t. That would break her heart. That would break my heart.

That’s when it hit me. I could just go to Valary’s house. Sure, those evil men might be there, but Valary was there.

She would cheer me up for sure. She was always such a sweetheart, and I really needed her right now.

I felt a small smile creep onto my face, and I turned around. Valary’s house was in a different direction.

I sighed.

Although I was going to Valary’s home to be cheered up, I still felt down.

You couldn’t just wash down this sadness.

"Do you want a ride, girl?"

I bit down on my lip. I knew that damned voice. I didn’t like that damned voice one bit.

I looked over my left shoulder, and I felt my eyes go into a glare.

"Is that a no," he asked. I rolled my eyes. Was he serious right now?

"Of course, it’s a no," I said angrily. "Okay, but it’d be a lot quicker, if you just let me drive you." He said.

"Brian, I don’t want a ride from you," I said. "Just get in the car, woman." Brian said angrily.

"Don’t call me woman, you damn man whore." I said.

"I’m not a fucking man whore; I have a girlfriend. I have just one girlfriend, so get your ass in the damn car." Brian said.

I rolled my eyes.

Why did he even care this much?

"Look, Brian, you know we don’t get along, so I’m not too sure why you’re even trying to get me in your car," I said.

"Michelle told me to give you a fucking ride, so c’mon!" He yelled.

I smirked. I knew it wasn’t because he was suddenly a nice guy now. It was because his girlfriend, one of my best friends, told him to go and pick me up.

Well, thank God for Michelle then.

I shrugged, and I walked over to Brian’s dark green car.

I opened the car door, and I threw my backpack in the back of the car. I got in, and I felt a little awkward.

The whole situation was awkward for me actually.

I was in a car with one of the guys that teased me throughout elementary, middle, and now high school.

So what the hell was I suppose to say to him?

"So how did Michelle know that I was going to her house?" I asked. Brian shrugged.

"She wasn’t sure where the hell you were going. She just told me to look at the school, your house, and to check all around her house," Brian said.

I nodded. That did sound like Michelle.

Brian stopped the car, and I looked out the window.

Finally at Valary and Michelle’s house. Now I could spill my heart out to them.

I grabbed my backpack, and I got out of the car. I made a bee line to the front door to Valary’s room.

I opened the door without knocking, and I saw that no one was even in there.

I laid down on the big purple bed, not wanting to go and find either Valary or Michelle. There was the possibility of me running into one of those guys, and I wasn’t in the mood to get into an argument with any of them.

I sighed deeply into one of the many pillows on the bed.

The sweet smell of Valary was covering the bed. She always smelt of lilacs and roses. She was such a good friend to me.

"So what are you doing in Val’s bed?"

I groaned.

I did not want to talk to any boys right now.

I rolled over on my side, and I propped up on my elbow.

"What do you want?" I asked. He smirked, and he crossed his arms in front of his big muscled chest.

I bit down on my lip.

He was the ring leader of the whole group that loved to torture me. He was the reason for most of my problems, yet I couldn’t help but feel something for him.

I wasn’t saying it was love because it wasn’t. It was more curiosity than anything else. He was such an odd person.

"Wouldn’t you like to know what I want," he said grinning. I rolled my eyes. Men were so disgusting at times.

"So you didn’t get it, did you?" He asked. I frowned.

Why did he have to know? Why was he even in that damn club? None of his friends were in it with his, so why bother?

"You know the answer to your own question," I said angrily. "I know; I just like teasing you." He said smiling wide.

"Shut up, Matt." I growled.

"Don’t worry about it. Monica just bribed the teacher," he said. Matt walked over the bed, and he sat down.

"What do you mean that she bribed the teacher?" I asked. I felt tense. What the hell was he talking about?

"You know, Monica has money. Well, of course you know. She flaunts it every damn time she gets a chance." He said.

"Monica’s a bitch, but she would never do that. She has too much pride to get a solo by buying it," I said angrily.

Monica was my friend. She wasn’t a very good one, but she was still my friend. I knew that she had more pride than I did. Hell, her whole pride was more than what the normal person would never have.

"Psh, Monica paid him. I saw her." Matt said. "I don’t trust you," I said quickly.

I really didn’t. He was my bully. Was I honestly suppose to trust this guy?

"You know, you have a better voice than her."

I stared blankly at him.

Did he honestly just say that? He used to ridicule me, saying that I sounded like a dying cat or something to that effect.

"I know I said that you sounded like a cat with its tail being cut off, but I didn’t mean it." He said.

"Matt, why are you doing this?" I asked. I was aggravated, and I honestly didn’t need his crap right now.

"What do you mean, Megan?" Matt asked.

I glared at him.

"Matt, I know what you’re doing. Hell, you can’t pull the same trick on me like you did in middle school. Even though it was Brian pulling the prank, doesn’t mean that I’ll forget all about it," I said.

Matt paused for a while.

"Oh, you mean that," he mumbled. "Yes, that," I said.

"Well, that was all Brian and Jimmy. I wasn’t involved in that at all, Megan." Matt said.

I rolled my eyes.

"So what, do you remember the other one?" I asked.

Matt glared at me. Now, he was a big guy, and I was immensely intimidated by him.

"I told you about that one. I meant that one," he said.

I felt something boil in me. I was already pissed off.

"Whatever, Matt. Now if you don’t mind, I want to wallow in my self pity right now." I said.

"I don’t mind at all. Go ahead and wallow; I’ll just watch then." Matt said. His voice was still a little gruff, and I decided not to ruffle his feathers too much.

I sighed deeply, but I laid back down to a comfortable position. I closed my eyes.

How did Monica beat me? I mean, she had a great voice, but I knew- I thought mine was just as good as hers. I put in so much work. I was the one who organized the practices for choir.

Hell, without me, there would be no choir!

And then there was him.

Here he was, just watching me. I bet he was laughing so much in his head. Poor little Megan didn’t get the solo she was working so much for.

"Why did you say no to me?" Matt asked. I groaned. I told him so many times, yet he didn’t seem to get it yet, did he?

"Matt, I’ve told you so many damn times," I murmured.

"And each and every time I’ve told you the same damn thing, Megan. I don’t believe that damned answer, so tell me the truth." He said.

I thought about it for a while. That summer day was still fresh in my mind. It was like it was yesterday. I could still remember what I was wearing down to my shoes that had the random drawings of ducks.

I still remember how fast my heart was beating, when… when- Never mind all of that.

"Look, Matt, I don’t want to be talking about the past." I said.

"It can hardly be called the past, Megan. It happened two months ago," he said folding his arms.

"I still don’t want to talk about it," I muttered.

"Well, I do, so let’s start now." Matt said. "I said I don’t want to," I muttered.

"So you said no to me because why?" Matt said. "I told you numerous times, I don’t like you. You were just some spur of the moment guy," I said.

"So because you won a fucking singing contest, we had sex?" Matt asked. I cringed. I didn’t want to hear those words said so boldly.

"Look, I wasn’t thinking straight. That meant nothing, to me or to you, got it?" I asked. "Megan, I know it meant something! It meant something not only to me, but to you too. It was both of our first times, so don’t try to act like it wasn’t special." Matt said.

"It wasn’t special!" I yelled.

"Yes, it was! It wasn’t like you just spread your legs, and then we did it! No, that’s not what happened." Matt said.

"Then what did happen, Matt?" I asked.

He just stared at me, not saying a word.

"Because that’s what it was to me, Matt. It wasn’t special at all. It was my first time, but I’ll only see it as one of my biggest mistakes," I said.

I could see that Matt was definitely angry now. His fists were balled up, and he was biting down on his lower lip.

Matt slowly walked up to me, and he grabbed my arm. Before I could react, I felt my body being jerked forward.

Before I knew what was even happening, I could feel something in the pit of my stomach. It was the wonderful feeling I got, before I was about to sing in a concert or performance.

I felt arms wrap around my waist, pulling me close to a hard body.

My eyes were closed, and I pressed my body even closer to the body next to mine.

I didn’t notice that I was kissing someone until he broke away from me. I was panting by then, and I was nearly scared to death.

It hit me like I walked into a wall.

I just kissed Matt. I just kissed him, and I liked it.

"Megan, now tell me it didn’t mean anything to you." Matt said.

I couldn’t say a word.

"You’re too young to worry about little details." He said.

I nodded.

I guess the solo wasn’t all that important.