If Only I Knew How to Hate You

Bailey

I could kill Jack… if I could take him seriously. But no one can, so… whatever. I’m just glad Alex kicked him out. Might have been better if he did it literally, but I’ll not be picky.

Still in bed, I hear the other guys climbing out and getting up, moving around and the like. I don’t try going back to sleep, even though I am exhausted. But I have this horrible headache and I still don’t feel any better than last night.

Ugh, and that nightmare… I shudder, my eyes tightly closed. Well, it wasn’t much of a nightmare. Much of past events, but… it was just so much more… more… real. Extreme, and horrible in so many more ways, I suppose.

“Bay?”

Slowly I turn back over, squinting in the light. “Yeah?”

“Your phone,” Alex offers it. “Been ringing for a few minutes. Missy,” he adds, showing it to me.

“Oh.” Yawning, I take it. I stumble out of bed grudgingly and stand around in the back for something of some privacy. “Morning, Missy,” I mumble, turning my phone on.

“Hey, love! You don’t sound so good. You all right?”

“Bad night,” I yawn and slump against the hard wall. “So, what’s up?”

“Not much… what happened last night?”

“Missy,” I groan. “Friendship goes two ways. It can’t always be about me.”

“Fine. I’m great. Your dog keeps standing around at the door, waiting for you to come back. There’s some guy at work who keeps trying to hit on me and he’s really stupid, so I think he’s going to lose his job soon. Last night, I spent three hours texting Zack. And… that’s pretty much it. So, what happened last night?” She chuckles.

“Nightmare.”

“Of?”

“Missy,” I hiss. “I’m on the bus, you know. With the guys and everything?”

“Then go in the bathroom! Guys aren’t nosy, okay?”

Rolling my eyes, I step inside the bathroom and sit on the sink. “Fine. I just- the nightmare…” I lick my lips, trying to say it without even describing anything. “I don’t know. I just- every time I close my eyes, I see him there, and he won’t leave me alone. Like he’s back and tormenting me for the heck of it.” Then I pause and sigh, rubbing my face. “Mentally and physically.”

“Oh, hon,” she says sympathetically.

“Eh, whatever. Just a nightmare,” I try to brush it off. “But yeah. I guess I threw up last night after the dream, but it’s nothing.”

“What?! I didn’t- did you and Alex…?”

“No!” I roll my eyes. “I think I just caught a bug. I heard it happens. I mean, this is Warped Tour, you know, Missy. I’m just surprised it took so long.”

“Eh, pretty true on that, I suppose… but you should find some meds to take. And sleep! And water!”

“Lovely,” I say dryly. “I have my own mommy. Is that all?”

“Mmmm yep. Wait! Tell Zack to call me around noon, okay? I have to go do a small shift right now. Well, I’m doing it… so don’t tell my boss I called, okay?”

I stare at my phone and roll my eyes at Missy as if she were there. “Okay, then…. Whatever. Bye, Missy.”

“Loves!” And we hang up. I jump off the counter and head towards the front of the bus where the boys are hanging around. Alex says we’re about to go on the road for the next few hours and offers me some cereal.

I shake my head. “Not hungry, actually. And don’t forget Jack. And Zack, don’t call Missy ‘till after noon, okay? I’m going back to bed.” Ignoring Alex’s concerned expression, I go back to the bunk, curl up in a ball, and drag myself into a fitful sleep.

“Baiiiiileeeyyyyyy!”

Moaning, I turn over to see who’s poking me in the back. “What, Jack?” I ask, peaking from my blankets. It’s almost like I have a fever, I keep getting a bit warm then a bit cold- so irritating.

“Why are you sleeping?”

“Cause I don’t feel so good. Why are you bothering me?”

“Cause we’re at the venue and I’m bored and the guys won’t let me play any video games.”

“Maybe because you suck at them.” I try to turn over to get some sleep.

“Nooo, Bailey!”

“I’m tired, Jack,” I say pointedly. “I don’t feel well. Do you want me puking on you?”

“Well, no… oh, I know!” He beams at me. “I’ll take you to the doctors. Come on! They’ll fix you and you can play with me, okay?” He starts pulling on my leg.

“Aw, shove it, Jack,” I yawn. “You don’t know where a doctor’s is.”

“Zack can figure it out!” Jack grins and pulls me out all of a sudden, draping me over his back. “Time to fix you uppers!”

Maybe, I realize, I shouldn’t have been so nice. If I hadn’t, he would have left me alone, instead of pulling Zack with him to get this crazy concocted idea to get me to a doctors. He’s just insane, seriously.