If Only I Knew How to Hate You

Alex

“Aww, you larding piece of turd!” I whine, slamming down the controls. “You suck butt, man, seriously,” I lightly punch Rian in the arm who just laughs. Matt smirks and takes my place.

Bored, I start looking around for something to do. Then I notice a few… people missing. “Hey, guys? Where’d everyone go?” I frown. “Jack?” I call. No answer. Maybe Bailey told them… I walk over but the blankets are gone, as is she. I check the bathroom and I look outside. “Um, guys? Where’s Bailey and the guys? Jack and Zack?”

Rian and Matt glance at me and shrug. “Wait,” Matt says slowly. “Didn’t Jack say something about taking Bailey somewhere a while ago?”

I give the two of them disbelieving looks. “Seriously? Come on, I thought we were trying to keep Jack on a leash here! Next thing we know, he’ll be walking nude and proclaiming world peace or global warming is here or something!” I throw my hands up.

“That would be funny,” Rian grins then notices my look. “And um, very, very bad…”

Sighing, I walk outside and start looking around. Just about everyone else has arrived and are hanging around, not really doing that much. Just setting up early for tomorrow and tonight. I run by a few people, looking for three missing people.

“Yeah,” John Ohh says finally. “They took my car.”

“Why?” I ask suspiciously.

“Not too sure,” John shrugs, tuning his guitar. “Seriously. Jack came by, asking if I had a car. I checked I had my car keys on me, and said yeah. Then Jack snatched them and ran off.” John shrugs. “I figured they had to pick up some crap.”

I stare at him. “You let Jack take your car keys?”

John pauses. “That’s a really good point, man….that’s not good.”

I groan. “Thanks a lot. I don’t know where they went.”

“Did you call them?” John raises his eyebrow.

“No,” my eyes widen. “Thanks!” I pat his head and run off, dialing in. Bailey doesn’t have her phone, Jack never turns his on, so I manage to get Zack to pick up after trying a few times.

“Yo, man.”

“Zack? Where are you?”

“Umm not too sure, actually. On South Broadway street.. right, Jack?” I hear Jack talking. “Yeah. South Broadway, number 567, can’t miss it.”

“And why is that? Bailey’s with you, right?”

“Huh? Well, duh. I thought Jack said something?”

“Didn’t hear him. But I’m coming now, okay? Don’t go anywhere. Is Bailey okay?”

“We think so.”

I stare at the phone. What is with this guy? But I just shake my head and find a taxi just around the corner, so he takes me across town… to the city doctors? Furrowing my brow, I step inside and start searching around. Then several office spaces across, I find Jack and Zack playing rock-paper-scissors.

“Okay, what’s going on?” I start over to them. “Where’s Bailey?”

“She was sick,” Jack shrugs. “So the doctors are gonna make her better with some meds and then she’s gonna play a game with me cause the rest of you won’t,” he pouts, crossing his arms.

I look at Zack who just shrugs. “I wasn’t gonna let them get lost, was I?”

I roll my eyes. “You guys are so stupid.” I sit down, putting my feet up on the coffee table in front of us. “Seriously, how did you even get this far? And Bailey let you?”

“She was tired and I picked her up,” Jack beams.

Trying to think of something to say, I’m stopped as the doors open and Bailey steps through, looking very tired and holding a folded blanket in her hands. She’s wearing one of my hoodies and some small shorts with mismatched flip-flops- one of which has to be Jack’s, its huge- and she starts over.

“Hey,” I stand as she comes to us. “You okay? What’d they say?” I lead her to sit next to me as Jack and Zack sit up straighter, listening.

“Not much,” she yawns, leaning back and trying to get comfortable.

“Are you boys with Ms. Daniels here?” I nod at the doctor, not bothering to correct him or anything. “Okay. Well, it’s nothing serious, really. Her symptoms aren’t serious. Slight fever, nausea, fitful sleeping- from what she’s said, I’d have to say it’s because she has a lot of stress on her.”

“So what, now? Just sleep?” I shrug.

“Certainly. I’d also advise taking Advil casually, and not doing anything strenuous. If there’s anything she’s worried about, then I’d take it off her shoulders so she can relax.”

“What about tonight, the fireworks?” Jack pouts.

“I suppose if she’s up to it by then, go for it,” the doctor says. “If it gets worse, just give me a call.” He hands Bailey his card and heads off.

Bailey sighs, crumbles the card and puts it in my hand. I raise an eyebrow and she shrugs. “I’m fine. I just need some Advil and it’ll be cool, okay? Can we go already, this place stinks.”

“I second the motion,” Zack mutters, standing. Jack nods eagerly and pulls on Zack, trying to get him to skip through the halls.

I put an arm around Bailey and take the blanket for her. “So, something’s been on your mind for a long time, Bailey, since tour. That phone call…” I pause hesitantly but she doesn’t look at me. “Do you want to talk about it?” I offer finally.

“No,” she says so softly, I barely hear her. “No, I don’t. I just… I want to forget,” she sighs and leans her head against me. “Lets go back. I’m feeling a bit hungry now.”

I nod and kiss the top of her head, thinking to myself. Even though she’s still with me, and we talk and fight and make up so much… there’s still this major piece to her that I’m still missing, that I can’t figure out.

But, for now I suppose, I’ll have to take what I can get. My hand runs along her back, rubbing it and scratching it lightly to soothe her. Easily her muscles relax as we climb back into the car, the two of us in the back. Maybe I just need to forget, and do what I can for this beautiful girl.