If Only I Knew How to Hate You

Alex

I wake up about two hours later finally getting the rest I need, and I lie there for a while, staring at the ceiling- well, the bottom of the top bunk. Or whatever. Anyways, I stare and think for a while randomly about everything.

Then I have to think about today. Bailey’s birthday. We should do a party! For dinner… we could surprise her! Yeah! Aaaaand I need to go to town to get her something. Definitely.

I can’t believe I forgot.

Even though I only heard about it once before. I think back. It was that one night after going to the bar, we fell asleep on her bed totally out of it, then I was snooping around her room- and yes, I admit I was acting like a stalker. But apparently she doesn’t mind. Even if she doesn’t know…. Eh.

I drum my fingers absently on my chest, thinking and listening faintly as the guys start getting up, eating, changing and just being themselves. Sighing at last, I start to climb out and glance around. Just as I notice Bailey isn’t there, the door opens and I watch her step in shyly.

She’s still in her pajamas, the short shorts and tank that were soaking wet, though she had a large sweatshirt on over. Her hair crosses down her back beautifully but it’s still completely damp. Her cheeks are tinged pinker than usual from the coolness of the morning and her lips look a little blue.

Jack pauses from eating his cereal and stares, slack jawed at her. “It’s raining?” He says at last.

Bailey looks at him oddly, then recalls how she must look. “Oh. Um, no.” She shakes her head and passes him without another word, so he shrugs, not caring too much, as he gets distracted with Rian trying to balance his spoon on his nose.

My eyes flit quickly back to Bay as she heads over, shoulders slumped and looking exhausted. I put out my arm and she sits down so I can wrap my arm around her. “Happy Birthday,” and I kiss her on the cheek.

“Hmm,” she nods slightly, her mind obviously elsewhere.

“You okay?” I ask. “This morning…?”

Then she’s alert and her eyes fly to mine quickly, widening for some reason as she thinks quickly. “Nothing,” she says automatically, her reason for anything personal. “I was… just sleep walking or something. Bad dream. That’s all.” She shrugs. “Anyways, I’m still wet, so I’ll go change.” She grabs some things and heads off.

My eyes follow her tiny steps as she evades me once again. Sighing, my hands run through my bed hair and I try to figure this girl out for the millionth time. But what happened this morning? Just a bad dream? It can’t be. I mean… Missy, for example. If she knew Bailey would even be up this early plus in the shower, then she must have known what Bailey would be doing in there. And I don’t even understand that part, either.

Finally though, I pull myself together and start getting ready for the day myself. I eat, change, fix my hair, practice my vocals since we’re on a bit early, and then I walk around with Matt for a while. We work together on planning some other things and details for the rest of Warped and then the GK tour.

Four hours later, the song finishes with a last note as I gaze around the huge crowd, squinting through the heat to find that one special girl. “Okay,” I find myself calling in to the microphone, breathing heavily, “guys, today is a very special day, didja know? I mean, besides being today and we’re all here of course,” I chuckle as the crowd goes wild. It’s actually pretty funny- I can say anything then pause, and they all applaud.

“Sweet. Anyways, today is my girlfriend’s birthday. Anyone meet Bailey? No? Well now you can! Baaaaaailey!!” I call in the microphone, waving as I see her at the Vans booth just a few dozen yards off. “I see you!” The crowd laughs. “Would anyone like to help her upstage?” I smirk as Bailey glances around to the people watching her and beginning to inch away. “I think she’ll get lost otherwise. Come on up, Bailey!”

Trying not to laugh as she quietly hisses curses to everyone who touches her, prodding her towards the stage, I watch as she gets closer, then past security, and I help her up on deck, draping a sweaty arm around her as she cringes. “Isn’t she beautiful?” I yell. Again, the crowd goes wild. “I know! She’s totally amazing. I made her come with me just so I can stare at her all the time. But anyways,” I laugh and peck her on the cheek. “Anyone want to know what song we’re going to sing next?”

Within seconds, over a hundred people are singing Happy Birthday to Bailey. I make the two of us sway side to side. Rian and Zack fiddle it out their instruments as Jack puts his arm around the other side of Bailey, grinning foolishly.

Then it ends and Bailey punches me on the arm for what I’m done. “Hey, doll, we’re still on stage,” I joke. “You’re supposed to save that for later.” The crowd laughs.

She just rolls her eyes though and starts off stage. But before she goes, I grab her hand, making her turn back, and I wrap her in a tight hug, rocking to the sides for a moment. “Thanks for not running out,” I whisper in her ear and she kind of pauses, like it catches her off guard. Good- cause it did for me, too.

At last as Jack whistles, we pull apart and grudgingly, she kisses my nose with something of a smile, and slips off stage while we get more whistles and cheers for a few more minutes. I finally shake out of it with a loopy smile of my own, and proceed as if everything is normal, back into the song routines.