If Only I Knew How to Hate You

Alex

I had no idea why Seb boy wouldn’t stay under my shirt all come. The little thing wouldn’t stop moving. But he was just so friggin’ cute, I couldn’t be mean to the poor little fellow. Best yet, he was already trained in everything, and still young.

Bailey gives in, of course, when the little thing starts licking her face and cuddling up to her. It makes her giggle, really giggle, all his cuddling and loving. I nearly get jealous, I swear. But I laugh it off and bring out the leash though Bailey doesn’t let him walk for most of the evening.

Rian went to town with Travis and managed to get a cake and some cupcakes- anything they could find, really, and we get candles and anything we can for it, plus some ice cream. We all pig out and have some fun, playing games, drinking beer and all that.

Around midnight though, it slows down and Kevin comes around, reminding us Warped continues tomorrow in the next town over so we’d better get ready to be going. I talk around with some people after that as we start moving to clean up and drive during the night. During this, people tend to move about, stay on other buses for a night, and I work that out for everyone on our bus to go somewhere else, except a driver.

“Come on,” I help Bailey who’s still got Sebastian in her arms up the big steps of the bus and we enter as I turn on a light. “Just us for the evening,” I grin, seeing her confused face.

She nods at last and walks around before plopping down comfortably on the couch. I sit down and end up sitting on something. I stand at pull it out. A thick envelope. A slight recognition comes across my mind as it says my name on top. The envelope! But I’d totally forgotten about it.

“Alex?” She looks up to me curiously, scratching Seb’s ears, also glancing at the somewhat thick package. “What is that?”

“Package from Hong Kong,” I sit down next to her, and look over, recognition dawning on her as we both stare at the package. “It came right before tour started, but I forgot all about it… want to open it?” I offer.

“I… yeah, sure,” she nods and waits as I unseal it, pulling out all the legal documents that won’t mean much to us. I hold them out, glancing at them as she does the same. “Hm… well, at least it’s in English,” I mutter. “Sorta.”

She snorts and tugs the first few pages from my grasp. “Always at the top,” she mutters.

“You know legal stuff?” I ask in surprise.

“Yeah, dealt with lawyers for a while,” she sighs, picking through the papers, looking for something specifically.

“What for?” I ask curiously.

“I robbed a bank,” she says sarcastically and shakes her head. “It was nothing, okay, Alex?”

Obviously a no touch subject. I sigh, running a hand through my ruffled hair and I shrug at Seb who’s squished between us. I chuckle at his funny face and start making silly faces. Finally, though, Bailey makes a sound of victory, apparently having found the right page.

Marriage Certificate is written nicely across the top, so it’s pretty obvious what it is for me. Then together, our eyes skim the page, the few boring typed words, then our signatures, the pastor or priest or whatever’s signature…

“It’s still not official,” she whispers, pointing to the lack of witnesses.

“Really?” I ask stumped. I lean back, thinking it over. “Well that’s weird.” She sits back like me and stares off with a slight frown. “So,” I breathe out. “Mom thinks we eloped and wants to do the wedding again, the media pretty much just thinks we’re engaged, and now…” I turn to her. “What is it?”

Bailey shrugs. “Don’t look at me. I don’t remember that night.”

“Well yeah, but- that night’s gone,” I wave the certificate. “And it pretty much doesn’t count at the moment.” I take a deep breath, latching my eyes on to hers. “So what is it?”

“It… us…” she says carefully, slowly, thoughtfully, “Is… somewhat… in progress.” She stops and glances at Seb. “So,” she looks back up. “Are you going to start the movie?”

“Yeah,” I nod after a moment, and I guess that’s all I’m going to get, so I stand up, putting in the DVD. Before I return to the couch, though, I grab some more tequila for the two of us, and some treats for Seb.

It’s some crazy movie that I don’t remember choosing, but- okay, so it’s not that bad, I was kidding. It’s a decent movie. What’s even better, though, is I’d airconditioned the van so it was pretty cold, and soon Bailey and I were closer than before, her head leaning on my shoulder and my arms around her. Seb, contently fat and asleep, sat on her lap where her legs slipped onto mine.

“Bailey.”

“Bailey.”

“Bailey?”

“Alex, shh.”

“Oh. Bailey?”

Sighing softly in the silence, she lowers her glass and gazes up, raising one of her cute tiny eyebrows. “Yes, Alex?”

“You have two last names, without Gaskarth.”

Her head rests against my chest as she hides a yawn. “Mmmmhm,” she mumbles. “I really do, Al.”

“Why?” I ask absently, my hands running through her long hair that trails down her back, so it’s almost like I’m rubbing her back at the same time, which I can tell she likes as she nestles closer.

“Don’t stop,” she murmurs, bringing up a hand to rub her eyes, probably to clear away the sleep and the alcohol. I put her glass down, along with mine, blinking, and I take her hand and kiss the knuckles.

“But I wanna know. You have Richards, and you have Daniels.”

“You really want to know?”

“Yeah…”

“Promise not to tell?”

“Yep.”

She yawns, and glances up again, her eyes clouded with exhaustion over such a full crazy day. “Born Richards. I put up… I put Daniels when I entered,” she stops for a yawn momentarily, and falls back into my shoulders for warmth. “the witness protection program,” she finishes with a small shrug, asleep.