If Only I Knew How to Hate You

Bailey

Hiiiisssss…

It jolts me awake with a gasp. But it’s completely dark and chilly and damp, and I suddenly hit my head on something. But, what…? My hand comes up. There’s… something on top of me. What on earth? Is this a door? I wonder if he’s dragged me under the bed just to-

Then a horrifying thought comes to me.

No. No, no, no!

He wouldn’t.

He couldn’t.

Right?

My throat constricts as my shaking hands slowly start moving through the darkness, feeling for something. Anything… I’m lying on wood. Wood’s on top… And it’s confirmed= there’s wood on the sides.

My immediate reaction, I shout all the worst curse words there are, anything I can think of. Just to take my mind off of this, just to distract me and, and, try to feel better…

When I’m taking a breath, there’s suddenly some cackling… and a laugh? I freeze with a sharp in take of breath. “Helllooooo, my dear niece. So nice of you to wake up from the dead.”

Swallowing, I try to figure where it’s coming from. Finally, taped to the side near my left hip, is a walkie-talkie that’s twisted in a way, so that it’s always on for me. “I’m going to murder you, son of a gun!” I manage, choking on my fear.

“Murder’s a little late, my sweet,” comes his sickly sugary voice. “And judging by the panic I hear behind your voice, you’ve only a few hours before all the oxygen is gone. Funny, isn’t it? It’s practically suicide, you know.” He snorts like it’s some kind of joke.

“No,” I whisper, wishing I could deny the truth of his comment. He may be a thief, but he doesn’t care for lying, especially since he gets away with everything. “No, it… it can’t be. Let me out!” I bang on the wood. “Please! Don’t do this!”

“You know,” he says casually, ignoring my screams, “I did consider killing you like I do my other victims. Maybe even stuffing you afterwards. It would have given me great pleasure, I assure you. Ripping out your innards, one by one… truly a delight. Well, I might even dig you back up.” He laughs suddenly. “And how does that sound? You know, I could dig you back up while you’re taking your last breaths. Just as you’re dying in agony, I could slit you open. You could experience that pain… it’s always interested me after all. My victims have actually been able to live through bits of it before. Hearing their shrills cries, begging for mercy… or, at least, a quicker death.

“Will you beg, Elizabeth? Beg for your very life, sweetie? A slow death, or quick? Which would you prefer? This is an honor, you must know. I’ve never given such a choice before. Take a few minutes to see your spleen before you’ve lost too much blood? Or slowly run out of all the oxygen. Comments?” He snickers.

“Go to-.”

“Dear, dear. That’s not so kind. Well, I’ll come back in an hour or so. Perhaps you’ll have thought some more, perhaps? It’s almost four in the morning, by the way. There’s no way you’ll make it past seven.”

There’s a click and he’s gone.

My breath turns shallow as my heart thumps wildly out of control, my brain panicking. What can I do? Can anything be done? Tears start falling as I hurriedly run my hands around, trying to find anyway to open this. All I manage, however, is to let in more dirt.

Finally, I give up. Not just literally giving up trying to escape, but I give everything up. I’m just too weak. I. Just. Can’t. Do. It. This, or anything. Happy? I want to ask him. You took away everything I had. I had to run for my life- and even then, it wasn’t worth it. After all these years, nothing’s worth…

I stop as the tears start. The memories come rushing. Being out on the dance floor, where I had let my emotions loosen and take over. My only way of recovering. Spending time at the shelter, helping the animals that couldn’t help themselves. Even Alex, when the times were good. When I was in his hands, I knew that somehow… strangely, everything was going to be okay.

But now? Again, Uncle Drake took away all that I had. Just as things looked up again, he tore them all down again, taking me away from anything that could have saved me. Which even thinking that, is- is really admitting the truth.

We’d been just about to make up, hadn’t we? Everything could have gone all right from then on. I’d give up my pride so that I could have something more- someone to stick with me through everything. My hands curl into fists at the hopelessness seeping in.

But it’s all gone.

He has a few more words for me, though, whispering. “Oh, Baaaaaaileeeeey…. This isn’t good for you, love. All those tears, those sobs… you’re using up your air. Even I’m not that stupid. You’re lucky, kid, if you’ve got an hour left.”

The tears keep falling as I helplessly close my eyes.