If Only I Knew How to Hate You

Bailey

He helps me up and runs off for a moment behind stage into the crew closet and there, he finds one of the spare acoustic guitars, something they always keep around something majorly goes wrong. It’s been known to happen before, which kind of sucks, but acoustic is just great, too, so I don’t mind.

And for the next hour, we pretty lose track of the time as he starts teaching me some more on the guitar. I have to be reminded of what I’ve already learned so far, but I guess it was in there some where and I can do the basics of one of their songs.

Then he grabs the other spare acoustic and somehow convinces me to see along, seeing as its just the two of us. It’s almost like another side to both of us, he’s cracking all these jokes and I don’t feel snappy or rude or meanly sarcastic or anything- Missy would be very, very impressed. The song we sing, though, is something we both have a love for, the band A Day To Remember and we sing the duet softly, If It Means A Lot To You.

“I think I mentioned this before,” Alex says softly as we head back through the parking lot to our bus, “but you have a really good voice.”

I glance up as he puts his arm around my shoulder. “Hm. Thanks,” I shrug, but its nothing of interest to me. Sure, I love music- I really love it- but I’m just a dancer. I’m lucky even to be learning the guitar right now, seriously.

“You could sing with us!”

I laugh dryly. “Yeah, I don’t think so, Al.” I shake my head. “I dance, I’m willing to learn guitar, but sing? In front of people?” I add doubtfully and shake my head again. “Not going to happen. Ever,” I add.

He pouts but says nothing more of it as we step in. “The others aren’t back,” he notes and glances at me. “Want to play Halo?”

I consider it. “Fine,” I say. “Just let me change first. Set it up and I’ll be out in a minute,” I tell him. I shut the curtain cutting him off from the bunks as I grab from under my pillow, some booty shorts he bought me yesterday cause it was so hot, and a tank from TWLOHA. Then I pull back my hair in a bun, keep the hat on, and step back out as he’s putting everything together. I plop down on the couch with some Corona, which happens to be both of our favorites, and the game starts.

“I can’t believe you beat me!” He sqwaks as the game comes to an end.

I beam at the screen and look over. “Me too! You suck at this.”

He narrows his eyes. “You’re on. Second round?”

I groan, checking the time. “But it’s already midnight…” I pause at the look he’s giving me. “Oh, fine, you wuss,” I growl. “You’re on. Or off, or whatever.” I shrug and we keep playing for another hour where he wins. We call it a draw for the night and are climbing in, wondering where the guys are. But we don’t really care.

It takes me a while, as usual, to get comfortable in this small space with Alex. I mean, it’s practically half the size of my bed at home, plus someone else in it? Not the easiest thing. Especially when it’s kinda chilly or warm out [changes every night, practically] and your bedmate is constantly shirtless and only in his boxers.

“Night,” he whispers.

“Night, Al,” I yawn, shifting the pillow a little bit for comfort. Then again. And again. I lay there for a few minutes, staring at the blank ceiling, but I can’t get to sleep and I can’t get comfortable.

“Can’t sleep?”

I turn to face Alex and give a small nod, glancing into his eyes. There’s a bit of light from a lamp we left on in front of the TV and from it, I can see some sparkles from his dark eyes. I sigh, glancing away.

Feeling his eyes on me, I shift a bit, trying not to bring attention to it. So grumbling to myself, I lie down on my stomach, grab my pillow, and shove my face into it. After a minute I hear him mutter something, but I can’t tell whether it’s to me or himself.

A minute later, I feel one of his hands creep onto the middle of my back. I flinch a little in surprise, but it doesn’t exactly bother me- yet, anyways. Yet naturally I freeze up, waiting tensely.

Then his fingers start pressing in carefully and running along my spine and shoulder blades, and I realize he’s giving me a back massage. Slowly under the pressure that feels so heavenly, my shoulders loosen and I sigh into the pillow, my eyes closed and enjoying the feeling. It’s like everything just turns sluggish in my mind as his fingers race up and down my back, hitting every point. My top rides up a little and his warm fingers run along the bare line of my skin and its like nothing could be better in this world. Back rubs are simply… perfect.

He chuckles softly in the darkness, his fingers crawling up my skin a little, but just as I’m thinking I need to slap him, he pulls away and draws his thumb across my cheek since I’m facing him. “Good night,” he murmurs and it’s the last thing I remember.