If Only I Knew How to Hate You

Alex

Ugh. I try to think of something but I can’t, I just can’t… what else?! But Bailey gives me a stern look and I sigh. “Fine,” I mutter grudgingly. “But he can’t stay here!” I add.

“And make him pay for a hotel?” Cass raises her eyebrow. “Far off, when Bailey might suddenly fall over from attempting maybe the stairs?”

Bailey squints hard at her, trying to decide whose side she really is on and I consider it again. This just doesn’t get any better, does it? And I couldn’t let Bay get hurt, no matter what… “Fine,” I sigh again. “He can use a guest room, the other on the top floor, I guess.”

“How soon should he come? We have the next concert on Wednesday, in three days, Alex.” Travis points it out and the next following dates.

“Right, right,” I manage, somewhat distracted. “Then- uh, two days. I’ll leave, he’ll come early Tuesday and… and me ‘n the band can flight out and practice and crap like that, then.”

“Sounds great!” Cass cheers, straightening up. “And speaking of which, I have to head out. Interview tonight. Love!” And she hugs us all then leaves. Travis has to go, too, and suddenly it’s just Bailey and me.

“Are you mad?”

I turn around from cleaning up the kitchen. “Huh?” I ask, having not heard.

“Are you mad?” She cocks her head, her uninjured leg hitting the back of the couch lightly. She glances down shyly, biting her lip like she really cares. “Honestly, Alex?”

“Mad?” I consider it. “Well, no, I guess not,” I admit. “I mean, I… I get it. I have friends that are girls, so its fair you have guy friends and all… I just… wasn’t sure for a while, you know?” I look up, searching her eyes for confirmation. “Come on, Bay. We boys have doubts, too, you know.”

That gets her to smile a little. “Okay. But really,” she adds. “He’s like… he’s just like a brother. Like another Missy in guy form,” she jokes.

I nod, chuckling and shove the rest of the things in the trash, then notice Bailey trying to hide her yawning. Laughing, I shake my head. “You’re not getting away with that,” I promise her. “Lie back down, okay? I’ll get you in a minute.”

“Take your time,” she waves her hand. “Don’t stop on account of me. Or I could come over and…”

“No. But you can make it up when you’re better and clean the house for the next forever, okay?”

She rolls her eyes. “Whatever.” But she succumbs and carefully shifts back onto the couch properly and she disappears from my view for a while, but in the stillness, I can hear her soft breathing.

I finally finish the dishes, feed the dogs, and walk over to Bailey. I’m tempted to leave her there for the night, she looks so comfortable, but with luck she’d probably wake up in the middle of the night or something, so I pick her up and carefully carry her up the stairs and into her bed. Covering her up, I nearly leave, but she looks so still and complacent… I leave for only a moment, just there to grab one thing that she’s been missing. My leather bracelet. I sit on the bed and carefully put it around the wrist that looks healthier. Done with that, I watch her for a moment.

“Alex?” she whispers, fluttering an eye open as I shift on the mattress.

“Here, love.”

“Stay,” she sighs and turns over, fast asleep. No need to ask twice, really. I chuckle softly to myself and after shedding a few layers, I climb in under the covers, careful not to move her or hurt her in any way. Fiddling with her hair a little, I entwine our fingers and finally fall asleep myself.

The next two days go by too quickly and suddenly I’m opening the front door to see John Ohh with his suitcase and duffel bag. “Hey, man,” he nods, taking off his sunglasses.

“Hey,” I return and let him in. “Bailey!” I catch her attention from where she’s fiddling with a video game. I claimed it would help her with her arm and hand muscles… well, I don’t know, but I wanted to play, I was bored, and she’s not too bad.

She looks up, looking pretty as always in some pajamas… that were mine, of course. And her hair was disheveled cause I mussed it up when she claimed she could beat me- I let her win once, but that was enough.