If Only I Knew How to Hate You

Bailey

”And we are here for the hearing of Drake Richardson on multiple accounts of kidnapping, theft, impersonation of officers of order, murder at first and second degree, incest, and rape.”

None of this will ever go away, will it? Sighing, I shake my head. Getting home, I grab my crutches, and make my way inside, refusing any of his assistance. “I can do it,” I mumble, my voice having died down when we reached our street. I was suddenly so sick of him- how could I have expected him to be on my side, honestly?

Sighing, I watch him go off towards the band room, to go bang on some instruments, make some noise and try to forget this ever happened. Shaking my head, I plug in my ipod and turn to some classic KISS. Sebastian comes over, whining for attention.

I lie down on my stomach and pet him, closing my eyes. It’s soothing- until my butt vibrates. I pull out my phone and take out an ear phone. It’s Missy. “Hey, Missy,” I mumble.

“How are you?” She asks happily. “You don’t sound happy.”

“I’m not,” I tell her sourly. “Alex is being ridiculous.”

“Oh really?” She muses.

“Well, yeah,” I tell her in an obvious tone, huffing and sighing at Sebastian who licks the air, trying to get to my breath. Apparently, it tastes good. I roll my eyes with a tiny smile.

“Bailey,” Missy says sternly. “You can’t just say you’re unhappy with him and stop it there. Details woman!”

Groaning, I launch into the story and retell everything that just happened since we got home. And she makes me tell me about the appointment. And how I argued with both of them. And why I currently hate both of them right now. I swear, anger is so exhausting, my eyes are ready to close by the time I finish.

“Well, Bay?” Missy hesitates. “You know I always root for you, right?”

“Yeah?” I yawn.

“Well… I don’t know,” she sighs. “Maybe they have a point. We all want the best for you, okay? Zack says that Alex was extremely messed up at his brother’s death. I mean, it was only about five years ago, girl. He drank himself to sleep all the time, he took up smoking and drugs for a while, too. His parents had no idea what to do.”

“At least he had parents,” I can’t help but butt in.

“Bailey,” she adds warningly.

“Sorry,” I mutter unhappily, not even smiling as Seb licks my elbow. “I just… I’m frustrated, okay? With everything. It hasn’t been easy.”

“Life isn’t easy,” she reminds.

“No kidding,” I tell her dryly.

She sighs. “Bay, we all love you, okay? You need to remember that. I mean, things weren’t ever easy for you, I get that. But love takes as much work, okay? That’s what people forget- relationships are about two people, not themselves. It includes hard work, service, time and commitment. You need to be willing to listen to him if he’s willing to listen to you, Bailey.”

“But he-” I stop short, frowning. I have to think this one through… because he does listen to me, I realize. And I- well, I’m the one cutting him off. Shoot. Biting my lip, I start getting caught up in the last few days, slowly growing more and more frustrated with him- because I wasn’t getting my way.

“I hate you,” I put the phone back to my ear.

“Only because I’m right,” she smirks, realizing what must have gone through my head. “I mean, really, Bailey. For the girl who thinks she knows everything… well, you really don’t know anything about people, sweetie.”

“I’ve noticed,” I tell her dryly.

She chuckles. “Okay, okay… so how’s your Christmas shopping going?” She asks, completely changing the topic.

“Shoot,” my eyes widen. It’s December after all. “Um… about to get going?” I chuckle, snatching the laptop off the coffee table. “Let’s see what I can find then, shall we?” Sighing, I straighten up, moving the dog onto a pillow.

“Oooh, I’ve been dying for some more feather pillows. In a fuschia, though, because I’m redoing my room.”

I chuckle a little. “Again?”

“Hey, now,” she jokes warning. “But I heard you laugh, girl! Keep it up, yeah? I have to go- dinner’s burning,” she laughs and hurriedly hangs up.

Sighing, I shake my head and hang up, shoving my phone back into my pocket. I put the other earphone in, tuning out to everything else that may or may not occur around me, and start some online shopping for the holiday that seems to have evaded me completely.