So Sacrifice Yourself, and Let Me Have What's Left

I closed my eyes, sighing slightly as I felt the cheese melt in my mouth and the spices exploded all over my tongue, sending various flavors down my throat as I swallowed my first piece of pizza that wasn’t from the school cafeteria that I had in two years. “Oh my God that’s delicious!” I exclaimed, eagerly taking another bite of my cheese pizza as I sat across the table from Johnny in the food court.

“I told you it was good.” Johnny smiled, taking a bite of his pepperoni pizza, although not quite enjoying it as much as I did.

“I now believe you.” I mumbled through the pizza that was inside of my mouth, just waiting to be swallowed to send the fats throughout my body that it would take me two months to get rid of when I’m forty.

“Where do you think everyone else is?” Johnny asked as he took another bite of his pizza, examining the mall, looking for any of the guys that we had left behind about an hour ago.
I shrugged, trying not to think of the Perfect Couple as they were probably walking around the mall, holding onto each other. That thought made me think of how Zacky was holding me the night he slept over to escape his parents shouts and screams at each other. I felt down all of the sudden, but I wanted to cheer myself up. I felt like I didn’t want anyone to see this side of me in fear that they might think I’m a depressed little girl trying to make people feel sorry for her.

“He wants to kiss you again.” Johnny said randomly, and I noticed he was looking right at me as he took the last bite of his pizza.

I gave him a confused look as I handed him my crust, which was the part of the pizza I didn’t eat, and Johnny gladly took it. “What do you mean?” Johnny couldn’t be telling the truth. There was no way in hell that Zacky could possibly want to kiss me when he had the Perfect One.

Johnny shook his head with a smile. “Why do you always seem so surprised that I say things about Zacky liking you?” he asked, apparently not affected at all by what he had just said.

I, however, had a damn near heart attack. Did he just say what I think he said? What sick and twisted world have I fallen into to where a god like Zacky who had the perfect girlfriend could possibly want a pathetic excuse of a human like me? But wait, I’m not a human. I’m a Hybrid. I am desired by all, men and women, so maybe these new looks of mine were just an added plus of me having a vampyre for a father and a Lycan for a mother. I shrugged, realizing that Johnny was waiting for my response. “Well, it just seems kinda shocking that he would like me…” I admitted, looking down at my empty plate.

Johnny laughed, causing me to look up at him. “Sorry, but it’s kinda funny if you know what I know.” He said, confusing me. Johnny saw this, so he figured it was best to explain. “Okay, first of all, Zacky is about to go nuts if he doesn’t tell you he likes you soon. But, thing is, he doesn’t want to leave Gena. He’s afraid that he would really hurt her if he left her for you.” I guess even Gena knew she was more gorgeous than me. “I swear he dreams about you every night, just ask Jimmy. We both know what he’s dreaming about, and it’s been nothing but you since the minute he met you.”

My heart had literally stopped beating. I wasn’t sure how my wildest dreams could come true, but I was sure glad that they had. Even if those things were true, I couldn’t help but have my doubts. What if Johnny was telling me these things just to make me feel better? I could tell that he already knew that I was always hard on myself, so maybe he’s telling me a lie like this in hopes that I would try to care about myself and others. That sort of made sense, but I couldn’t figure out why Johnny would say that Zacky liked me if he already knew I liked him. That was nothing but cruel, if you ask me. “And what do you expect me to do about this?” I asked, my voice cracked a bit from how shaken up I was from all this information that had been poured on me.

Johnny smiled and shrugged. “He’s basically with you at night, right?” I nodded. “Talk to him about it. Just tell him it’s out of curiosity. He’s waiting for you to break the ice. He knows he likes you, he just isn’t sure if you return the feelings.”

“How do you know all of this?” I asked. I knew they were all apart of a pack, meaning they could read each others innermost thoughts, but still, Zacky could easily tune Johnny out if he didn’t want him knowing what he was thinking about.

“He says he doesn’t want people knowing, and yet he’ll always let me in on this kind of thing.” Johnny smirked. “He knows that you feel comfortable around me, so he wants to know if you talk about him. I’m sort of like the middle man for you two.”

My eyes widened a bit. Zacky actually asked Johnny to see if I talked about him? Did he really like me that much? It sounded so elementary, but I understood why Zacky did it. He didn’t want Gena to get any weird vibes if he began to talk to me more than he probably should. He really is a smart one, that Baker boy.

“There you are!” someone yelled from behind me, and, before I knew it, I was attacked in a hug from someone who could easily break my neck in half if he wanted to. I immediately knew who this was, and I tried to get out of this headlock he had me in.

“Brian! Let me go!” I muttered, trying to pry his arms away from my neck. But no suck luck. Brian is definitely not afraid of putting his muscles to work.

“Bri, you’re gonna choke her.” Michelle laughed, placing her hands on Brian’s arms, causing him to relax a bit around my neck. “We’ve been looking all over for you guys.” She said, looking from me to Johnny.

“We got some shopping done while you two were fucking.” Johnny smirked, and Brian laughed, causing Michelle to glare at him. “When’re we leaving?” Johnny asked, ignoring how mad Michelle seemed to be.

Brian shrugged. “I guess once Ace is done with her shopping…thing.” He said, resting his chin on my shoulder and looking at me, and then at the bags I had placed beside me. “And I’m guessing you’re done?”

“Pretty much.” I mumbled through his death grip he had around my throat, pressing my wind pipes together, preventing me from breathing and talking.

Michelle jumped for a split second, and then pushed Brian off of me, which I was surprised she could do. “You’re not done yet!” she said excitedly, pulling me from my chair. Wow, this girl was way stronger than she looked. “We have to get one more thing! And no boys allowed!” she said, sticking her tongue out at Johnny and Brian.

I gave Michelle a strange and worried look as she started to drag me away from Johnny and Brian. I looked back at them, and they shrugged. I was a bit afraid of what ‘thing’ Michelle was talking about. My cheeks reddened as we walked into a Victoria’s Secret store, and that’s when I figured out why no boys were allowed with us.

--

Everything was pitch black as I stared into nothingness. I tried looking around, but all I could see was the darkest of black. My eyes were wide in my attempt of hoping to see better than I already could, which wasn’t much. I tried putting my hand right in front of my face, and that I did see. I was confused as to why there was a sudden light that showed my hand, but then my eyes wandered down, and I gasped. My marking was glowing a bright red color and throbbing against my skin, making it hurt a bit. I used this new light as a way of finding out where I was. I turned my wrist this way and that in hopes of trying to see, but the bright red color could only light up my hand and arm. I began to shake in fear of how I got here, or what I was doing in this mysterious black place.

I then felt what I thought of as a heat pressing against my body. I looked down, but could see nothing other than black. I tried moving as the heat began to increase, but it felt like my feet were glued to the ground. That’s when I felt something move against my foot. As a natural instinct, I screamed, shoving my foot from whatever had its grasp. The heat grew more from a warm to almost fiery temperature. I tried brushing my hands against my body, hoping to get the heat to calm down, but that only made it worse. I realized that the heat was not pressing against my body, it was inside of me. The heat was now scorching as it covered my entire body, and I screamed at the pain. It felt like I was on fire, and that I was going to die.

I saw something spark off from my body, and I looked down. My eyes widened as I saw flames slowly shooting their way out of my pores. I was now going to burn from the inside out. I began crying and screaming some more, pleading someone to take this pain away. When the fire was now scorching against my skin, I began to see where I was. It was like someone had gone on a massive killing spree and dumped all of the lifeless bodies into this graveyard wasteland. I saw that they were all a black color, signaling they had been burned. I realized that it was my turn. Being surrounded by the dead bodies that were covering my feet and legs caused me to panic as the fire was burning everywhere possible on my body and on the inside. I felt my heart being slowly charcoaled from the fire, and I knew I was dieing.

After a few more pathetic attempts to try to get this fire to stop, I then saw that the fire was increasing in both size and heat. The tears that had fallen from my eyes quickly evaporated from the fire shooting from my face. I was amazed that I was still completely in tact. I wasn’t black, I was still me, but the fire continued to grow from inside of me and out through my skin. I screamed in another attempt to ask someone for help, when I heard a dark chuckle come from deep inside the sea of dead bodies. The chuckle made the ground rumble, and a few of the old bodies crumbled into pieces from the vibrations.

Welcome home, Candace…

“Candace!” a voice yelled, causing me to shoot straight up in my bed. I was panting heavily as the beads of sweat rolled down my face. I could taste the salt once the sweat had reached my lips and rolled into my mouth to be placed upon my tongue. Once I had gotten out of the shock of taken out of the black place so unexpectedly, I looked to see Zacky sitting down on my bed, looking at me with worried eyes as I looked back at him with wide eyes. “Are you okay?” he asked softly after he realized that I was awake.

I’m not sure what made me do this, but I broke down completely. Every limb of my body felt like jelly as I started to let new water fall down my cheeks, only this time the beads came from my eyes. The black place I was taken to was pictured in the back of my head over and over again as I continued to see the dead bodies lying lifelessly on top of one another, their charcoaled bodies showing no sign of a beating heart.

I felt a pair of arms wrap around my shoulder blades, and I cried into Zacky’s shoulder as the tears became more frequent. “It’s okay, it’s okay, you just had a nightmare.” Zacky said soothingly, rubbing my back with one of his hands.

It seemed so easy when I closed my eyes and see the black place my mind had taken me to. But when Zacky held me in his arms, I found it to be more difficult than it would be had I been lying in my bed alone. I hoped that Zacky wouldn’t leave me any time soon, because I didn’t want to go back to the black place and burn. That thought made me go into hysterics. Not even Zacky’s arms could keep me from feeling the burning flames escaping my pores.
“Candace, calm down, it’s over now.” Zacky cooed, using one arm to hold my waist tightly against him, the other using its hand that was attached to brush through my damp from sweat brown hair. Zacky’s actions calmed me a bit, but not completely.

“I don’t…want to…burn.” I hiccupped, soaking Zacky’s shoulder that was covered by a shirt with my tears. I felt Zacky’s arms leave me for a second, and then I felt a pair of warm, rough hands on my face. My head immediately lifted from Zacky’s shoulder to look into his perfect face.

Zacky was looking right at me, his jade orbs and lip rings shining in the moonlight that seeped through my window. I continued to cry with the shock of my horrible dream, and I felt Zacky’s rough thumbs brush against my cheeks, catching every tear as it fell down my face and wiping them away. “Please don’t cry.” He whispered, his eyes boring into mine as the tears continued to seep through them. “I hate it when you cry.”

I tried gulping down a few tears, but some were faster than others. It didn’t really bother me that Zacky said he hated it when I cried like he had seen me do it before. Although, with the way I act around him, I wouldn’t be surprised if I had broken down like this without even knowing because I was too busy admiring the god standing before me and holding my face in his hands at this very moment.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Zacky whispered, his thumbs not once stopping the rhythm they were playing on my cheeks.

I thought that maybe talking about it would help so it wouldn’t be locked in my heart for the rest of my life, giving it permission to haunt me for as long as I may live. “I…didn’t know where I was.” I said breathlessly, trying to hold back tears.

“What did it look like?” Zacky asked, looking at me with concern and worry as his thumbs continued to brush against both of my cheeks. This movement gradually began to help with the stopping of my tears.

I looked down at the spot on Zacky’s shirt that I had cried on, trying to think of the words of how to describe the black place. “It didn’t look like…anything. It was all black.”

Zacky was quiet for a moment, and I noticed his thumbs had stopped brushing against my cheeks. I looked up at him to see he had a blank expression on his face. “Was your mark glowing?” he asked, and I was surprised by the lack of emotion in his voice.

I gulped, a few tears escaping down my throat and into my heart as I realized this was no time to show fear as an emotion. “Y-yeah,” I said a bit shakily, remembering the bright red color exposing my marking against the pitch black color that filled the rest of the unknown place I was in.

Zacky was quiet for a few more moments, and I really started to panic. Why was he acting like this? I feared I was about to find out. “Were there dead bodies everywhere?” Zacky asked, letting his hands slip from my cheeks to his own lap. I nodded. “Did flames come from your body?” I nodded again, too scared to talk, and Zacky sighed a deep, heavy sigh. “I’m such an idiot.” He mumbled, bending down a bit to hold his face in his hands that were once placed upon my cheeks.

I gave Zacky a puzzled look, even though he didn’t see it, and wondered why he was blaming himself. He didn’t do anything wrong. Zacky clutched his hands into fists, resting his chin on his knuckles, and I could see the troubled look that was plastered all over his face. I didn’t say anything. I knew that, in given time, Zacky would explain.

“I should’ve known that people would get suspicious of a Hybrid killing a Lycan.” Zacky said more to himself than me. “Of course they figured it out, they’re way smarter than I take them for.” He sighed once more as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“Figure what out?” I asked, reminding Zacky that I was still here, listening to every word he was saying.

Zacky looked at me, and I saw that he was trying to think of the right words to say for whatever he was going to tell me. “When I killed Devin, the Council immediately started to pay attention. Being half vampyre, the Kingdom wanted to watch me as well. It was my own stupid fault for going over there in the first place. I should have waited until morning.”

I thought back to the day that Zacky saved me from Devin, which was also the night Devin died. That was also the night that I was discovered as my new self, my true self. It scared me to only think of where Zacky was going with this. “But, you know that I’m glad that you came when you did.” I stated quietly, hoping to get Zacky out of this guilt trip he was playing on himself.

“You don’t understand, Candace. What I did is not normal.” He said through clenched teeth, looking at me. My eyes widened as I saw his normally relaxed and beautiful jade orbs now shining with hate and rage. “Never before has a Hybrid saved someone’s life. We usually use humans as tools for our own pleasures and desires. We’re nothing but greedy bastards that uses everyone we see because we know that if that person rejected, we could kill them in a heartbeat. You don’t understand how powerful you really are. We don’t imprint, meaning we can never truly love, only feel lust for others. We see humans as nothing but a nice drink. We’re cold hearted thieves, and no one would expect a Hybrid to actually defend someone other than themselves.” Zacky continued to look at me with his wild eyes, and I began to fear what he was going to say, as if I wasn’t freaked out enough at the fact that he was telling me that I should hate myself more than I already did. “But, with you, you’re different. I don’t feel just lust for you anymore. I want to be with you, I want to be around you. When I saw...Devin hit you…this spark went off inside of me. I felt like I had to…protect you. I had to keep you around, and if Devin killed you, I wouldn’t be able to see your face anymore. That thought was enough persuasion for me to…slaughter him…to pieces.” The way Zacky was talking made me even more freaked out than I was originally was. “I knew you were a Hybrid the minute I saw you. You’re too beautiful…too flawless…too perfect to be nothing but a mortal.”
My heart skipped a thousand beats as Zacky finished his sentence. I couldn’t believe that my wildest and craziest dreams were coming true. The god called me not just beautiful, but flawless and perfect. Everything I thought of the Perfect One I now was to him. This couldn’t be happening. These kinds of things weren’t supposed to happen to someone like me. I wasn’t supposed to have the god of my dreams telling me that I was perfect, that he liked being around me, and that he felt the need to protect me when I was hurt. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck right then and there, telling him that I loved him more than life itself, but I had to keep my composure. I knew that Zacky’s little story wasn’t over just yet.
“Hybrids aren’t supposed to feel this way towards others. We’re not supposed to love. The minute the Council and the Kingdom saw me protecting you they knew there had to be something about you. They may have been wrong as to why exactly I protected you, but I led them to discover something that puts you in danger for the rest of your life.” Zacky stopped for a moment to let everything he had just told me sink in. “That dream wasn’t just any dream…he knows you’re alive, and he wants you to know that.”

My brows furrowed at Zacky’s words as I gave him a slightly confused look. “Who?” I asked.

“Your Father.” Zacky chuckled with a dark humor in his voice. I could tell he was trying to make himself feel better, but it only made me freak out by what he was telling me. “He thought you were dead, it’s not like he cared if you were or not. He got what he wanted out of you and Abigail. He got her pregnant, and you started the war. That’s all he wanted to be done. But now that he knows you’re alive and well aware of the person you really are, he’ll stop at nothing until he finds you. They’ve all changed their minds about you now that they saw what I had done for you. They all want you dead.” Zacky said dangerously slow as his teeth grinded against each other. My breathing stopped as his words sank in. Why was this all happening to me? What did I do to deserve such a fate? I didn’t want to die. I don’t want to burn. The tears began to creep up my throat once again. “They know where you are, and they’ll all start slowly migrating here in a matter of days. Cities will be destroyed, people will be slaughtered, all in the hunt for you, The Forbidden One.” Zacky shook his head side to side before looking at me. “I’m so fucking sorry I started this, Candace.” He said quietly, and I could see the pain in his eyes. “I will do everything in my power to make sure you’re not harmed. I’m not sure how, but somehow I’ll manage it.”

I had taken Zacky’s words to heart. I had started to become immune to everything that these people were dumping on me, mainly because it had happened so many times before. I knew that every word Zacky said was true, and that he wouldn’t dare lie to me about something like this. Zacky knew people, and I knew he would use them as his way of protecting me, not to forget the guys, although they weren’t supposed to know of my secret, or else they would be forced to kill me. I guess Zacky would come up with an excuse for that one, too. I was too caught up in this moment of being with the god and having him want to be with me to think. I slowly reached for his hand that was in his lap, and took a slight grip of it. Zacky looked up at me, and I gave him an encouraging smile.

Zacky didn’t smile back, instead he moved his hand to where his fingers fell in between mine, and I nearly had a heart attack. “You know, I can’t stop thinking of the time I kissed you.” he admitted shamefully, looking up at me through his black hair. I could only imagine what he was going to tell me next, and my wildest thoughts ended up becoming a reality. “And I want to do it again.” He whispered, causing my heart to flip.

He didn’t even wait for me to say anything. I watched as Zacky began to lean into me, his lips intending to meet mine in the end. My breathing became uneven as it always did when I was around Zacky as his lips brushed against mine. His cold lip rings pressed against my warm, sensitive lips as I kissed back. I didn’t open my eyes as I heard Zacky move from sitting at the edge of the bed to where he was sitting right in the middle of it with me. Our lips held one another in a friendly hug, only to be turned into something more serious as I held the sides of his neck with both of my hands as he placed his hands on both of my sides about where my ribcage is supposed to be. I leaned back a bit, taking Zacky down with me, and I felt his tongue tracing my bottom lip. I let him in without a second thought. There was more force and passion in Zacky’s movements than from the first time we did this, which only drove me crazy. I began to hunger for his touch, his love, his attention as I intensely kissed him back, letting him press against me until my back was to the bed with him hovering over me. We didn’t even need to pull away for air. We were both Hybrids, meaning we could hold our breath for however long we wished, thanks to one of our parents being vampyres, who don’t breathe period. I let out a soft moan at the feel of Zacky’s tongue massaging against mine, only encouraging him to continue. Our lips met once more, and I licked his lower lip before roughly slipping my tongue back into his mouth as his tongue roamed mine once more. I could never even dream of kissing someone like this. There was so much passion, intensity, and love that grew between us it was almost unbelievable. My fingers gripped his black hair, only making him groan into the kiss. He kept his arms wrapped tightly around my waist as our bodies pressed against one another in more than a hug form. Zacky bit my lip roughly, only making me smirk and crash my lips once more against his perfect plush ones. I had never acted like this before—so independent, so confident, so sultry—it was almost insane of how I was behaving. But, then again, I had never wanted anyone as badly as I wanted Zacky, and it was good to know that he felt the same way. Even though we could’ve held our breath forever, making our kiss endless, we had to pull away before we both did something that would cause chaos. Before separating our lips completely, however, we both pressed our tongues against one another before pressing our lips together softly, our grip never letting go of each other’s bodies.

I leaned in a bit from the shock of having Zacky pull away so unexpectedly, wanting more, but Zacky shook his head with a smile appearing against his lips that were once kissing mine just moments ago. “You have to go to school in the morning.” He whispered breathlessly. “You need to rest.”

I began to remember the burning dream that wouldn’t stop until Zacky woke me up. I didn’t want that dream to come again. Now that my father knew of my existence, I knew that he would keep showing me those dreams. I then remembered that while I was in Zacky’s arms, I couldn’t make myself think of those dreams. Zacky began to get off of me, but I stopped him by grabbing the front of his shirt with both of my hands. Zacky gave me a strange look, and I explained. “I don’t like sleeping alone.” I whispered.

Zacky understood, and shifted to where he was on the right side of me instead of on top of me. He lay on the bed with his back pressed against it, looking up at me. I smiled slightly when he extended his open arms to me, asking me to be in them. I rested on my side so I was facing Zacky as he draped one arm around my shoulder blades, the other placed on my hip that was exposed to him. I buried my face into Zacky’s neck, sighing softly as his heavenly aroma filled my nose. I heard Zacky chuckle once and tighten his grip around me.

A few minutes ticked by as Zacky and I both rested on the twin bed in the guest room of Brian’s house peacefully. My mind was nothing but blank—signaling I wasn’t having any fiery dreams—as I draped my arm over Zacky’s middle in an attempt to snuggle closer to the god sleeping peacefully beside me. It was silent as we held each other in our arms, unconscious and unknown to the world and the hidden war as it made its way toward here, day after day, in hopes of holding my head that was spewing with blood as it had been detached from the rest of my lifeless body by my hair, roaring with pride as they—whether it be the Kingdom or the Lycan’s army—succeeded in killing The Forbidden One. I didn’t stir once at the thoughts that weren’t playing in my head about how, when I was dead, I would meet my grandfather in the black place no one wishes to go to.

But none of that bothered me at this moment. That’s when I realized, in the midst of my peaceful slumber, that I had found my escape. Not with a razor slicing my skin, followed by watching the red ooze of blood roll down my wrist or wherever I wished to cut myself, but with something, or, should I say, someone else. Zacky was my escape. He was the only living thing that could possibly make me understand myself. The same person who brought these dark suicidal thoughts back up from the blackest part of my mind ended up being the same person who could help me escape from this mass hysteria I was going through. He vowed to protect me, and I believe him. He may not love me. But there is one part of him that completely belongs to me. And no one, not even the Perfect One Gena, could take that part of Zacky away from me. I wouldn’t, I couldn’t let her. We help each other, Zacky and I, by being each other’s way of escaping this cold harsh world that is not always as peaceful as it seems. He is my escape from an ultimate and bloody death as he brings happiness and affection into my life. I am his escape from being surrounded by people who, if they knew of his secret, would be forced to kill him. We understand each other without actually saying words, and the way we get around each other and speak to each other moves in such harmony that it’s almost as if we know what each other is going to do the second before it happens.

At that moment, I realized, Zacky and I were the Perfect Couple, and I was now his Perfect One.