So Sacrifice Yourself, and Let Me Have What's Left

I wasn’t so sure of what Michelle and Valary were talking about when they practically dragged me into Matt’s basement from being picked up by them instead of Zacky once the last bell rang for school to be out. I watched as a woman, who I’m guessing is Matt’s mom, gave me a strange look after saying hello to the twins and listened as Valary said that I was a friend of theirs. Matt’s mom, who I’m not so sure of her name, shrugged as she went back to what she was doing before. I made an ‘oomph’ sound as Michelle pushed me onto the couch that was pressed against one of the walls of Matt’s basement. I gave the twins weird looks, but they just shrugged as they sat down on either side of me—Michelle on my left, Valary on my right.

I noticed that there were various amps and guitars sprawled everywhere, I even saw a drum set standing against the corner of the two walls that came together that were farthest from me. I heard voices come down the basement stairs, and I watched as all the guys came into view. I gave Zacky a puzzled look, and he shrugged like the twins had done. I decided not to question what I was doing here, and made myself comfortable on the plush red couch in Matt’s basement, and watched as Zacky picked up a guitar, placing the strap to hang over his shoulder.

I was pretty sure that my mouth was almost to the floor as Zacky started running his fingers across the neck of the guitar, causing various notes that I hadn’t even heard of to blast from the amp that was beside him. Brian was pretty good, too, but I didn’t care about him. I was amazed that Zacky had such talent. Our eyes met after a while, and he smiled at me. I couldn’t help but smile back and admire how he really was the perfect person. Not only was he beautiful, but he was insanely talented. And I was lucky enough to catch his attention? This is one sick and twisted world we live in.

It took me a while to realize that the guys were all in a band, thanks to me never being able to pry my eyes off the god who was looking right at me the entire time everyone was playing. They were all pretty talented, I’ll give them that. Matt poured his heart into the mic so perfectly it was almost unbelievable. Brian made it look easy as his fingers ran across the fret, causing notes to ooze out of the amp in an almost velvety way. I used to think that bass was pretty simple, that is, before I saw Johnny play it. I don’t think I could even match up to him after watching how he really showed how it was done. Jimmy made beating the shit out of his drums look like a walk in the park, or run in the park, considering how fast he was moving his hands.

“So, what do you think?” Zacky asked as I watched him walk over to me once they had stopped to take a break from playing an hour from when they started. I stood up at the same time the twins did as they made their way towards their boyfriends to tell them how great they were. Zacky may have not been my boyfriend, but I was going to tell him how perfect he really was.

“You are beyond amazing.” I said breathlessly, still shocked at how Zacky could play the guitar like it was no one’s business.

Zacky chuckled under his breath, grabbing the strap of his guitar and pulling it over his head, holding his guitar by the neck. I watched as he placed it by the wall. While he was walking, I remembered exactly what I wanted to talk to him about. I was distracted from how amazingly perfect he was to remember all about that girl who stole Zacky’s heart, that is, before he met me. It may sound conceited, but it’s the sad truth.

Once Zacky walked back to me, my heart fluttered as he placed one arm around my waist when he saw that no one was looking. He was still with Gena, and no one else, except Brian if he was that smart to catch on, knew that a part of him belonged to me. It was a quick kiss, but a kiss nonetheless. I smiled against his plush lips as his cold lip rings touched my sensitive lips, and I felt him smile back. He pulled away, much to my dismay, but I knew I had to talk to him.

“Gena’s starting to figure it out.” I whispered.

Zacky’s eyes widened at my words. He was the only one who had heard what I said, and he knew that this was something to be talked about privately. He said a quick goodbye to everyone, as did I, and then I felt Zacky take my hand, leading me up the stairs and out of Matt’s basement. Once again I received a strange look from Matt’s mom, and I pretty much guessed she wasn’t going to think of me other than that one weird girl that runs in and out of her house. But I didn’t care; all I cared about was to keep Zacky from getting hit by something unexpectedly. Gena would talk to him about this, and he needed to be prepared. We may have had something between us, but Zacky and Gena’s feelings towards each other were much more intense than the ones between Zacky and me.

The Changing of Seasons Causes the Lover’s Hearts to Bloom…

The warm California sun was beating down at its usual heat of seventy three degrees as I lay in Zacky’s arms under the oak tree that was placed ever so gently in front of Brian’s home. It probably wasn’t the best strategy for studying for exams, but we still didn’t move from our spots—Zacky sitting down with his back pressed against the tree, and I was sitting in between his legs, my back pressed against his chest. I felt Zacky’s arms around my waist once more as he placed his chin on my right shoulder, and I smiled. Every time he did this I would get distracted, but I didn’t mind. Being with Zacky like this was more than I could ever wish for.

Only the feelings for Zacky and I have changed these past eight months, everything else managed to stay the same. I was still living with Brian, of course, and was kept under watchful eye of the other Hybrids that just might be lurking about in the shadows. Zacky was the only one of the Hybrids that was allowed to be this close to me, mainly because Maria favored him the most and she knew that I wouldn’t feel comfortable unless I had Zacky by my side at all times. I had gotten much closer to the rest of the guys, and Johnny had easily become my best friend. I knew he was my best friend because I felt the most comfortable around him, and I could talk to him about anything. We had already done so much together, and he took me everywhere when Zacky was out with Gena, but that’s another story. Johnny would always try to make me feel better by taking me to the movies, or out to dinner. I always smiled at his attempts to try to make me somewhat happy. That’s when I realized that I could trust this man with everything I had. I did trust Zacky, however, in other ways. I knew he wouldn’t dare tell Gena of our secret love we had going on. The guys eventually figured out what was going on between me and Zacky after Brian heard us stirring one late night. We weren’t doing anything wrong. We were just kissing, but I guess we let ourselves get carried away once more by doing other things. Not necessarily sex, but we would kiss each other in other places besides our lips. Zacky easily figured out my weak spots, which consisted of my neck and chest, but I had yet managed to find his. I had become determined, and eventually we made a game out of it. That’s how Brian figured it out. The guys didn’t really think any less of me and Zacky for doing these things, but they would constantly remind Zacky of that young sandy blonde haired girl that loved him with everything she had.

Zacky was more than prepared of the night that Gena confronted him about having him cheating on her. He was well aware of this conversation thanks to me, so I knew that he had nothing to worry about. He managed to snake his way out of it, but then Gena did something he wasn’t expecting. She told him she loved him, and that was it. Zacky says that he can’t leave Gena now. He can’t leave her while she loves him. He said that he would leave Gena the minute she stopped loving him. And, I mean, come on, just look at Zacky. She isn’t going to stop loving him anytime soon.

“So, why am I helping you?” I asked as I stared down at Zacky’s review for his SAT’s tomorrow. “You’re a junior and I’m a sophomore, I don’t know this crap.” I gestured towards the math portion of his review, proving my point.

I got Goosebumps when Zacky chuckled in my ear, his arms tightening around my middle. “You smell nice.” He whispered randomly as he nuzzled his face into my neck.

I smiled, feeling my cheeks burn like they always did when Zacky did things like this. “I don’t see much point in me being here. You’re not even studying.” I stated, leaning back against his chest in attempts to get him to start paying attention.

“I don’t need to study. I’m super-duper smart.” He mocked, kissing my neck, which probably wasn’t the best idea, considering I was still blushing like crazy. “Besides, I like being out here with you than inside with him.” he may have not said his name, but I knew Zacky was talking about Brian.

My brows furrowed at his comment as I looked from his review out in space as I thought of what he could possibly mean. “Why?” I asked.

Zacky heaved his shoulders up and down in a shrug, moving his arms slightly that were still around my waist. “I don’t like it when other guys look at you.” I was quiet, waiting for him to explain. “Don’t tell me you don’t know how guys look at you.” Zacky said, and I could hear a hint of surprise in his voice. Zacky sighed with a smile when he saw the confused look that was plastered on my face, and shook his head side to side, his black hair brushing against my neck. “You need to start paying attention. I always notice how they look at you. They stare at you like you’re some type of goddess, although I don’t think that isn’t far from the truth. They have lust in their eyes when they look at you. All of the guys think of you like this, even Brian.” My eyes widened, and I could tell Zacky saw it. “That’s one reason why I’m with you every night. I’m afraid that he’ll forget about Michelle and let his instincts take over. Johnny and Jimmy have gotten over it, but Matt and Brian haven’t. I feel like I have to protect you from not just random guys, but Matt and Brian as well.” Zacky admitted, leaving me dumbfounded.
Who would’ve thought that me—the person who heard the Perfect Ones and had her eyeliner yell at her, telling her how ugly she was—would end up like this? Not only did I have the god wanting me, but every other man I’ve met as well? I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t going to believe it. There was no way in hell that I could be seen as a goddess. These things don’t happen to me. They’re not supposed to.

“And you still don’t believe me.” Zacky sighed against my neck. I turned my head a bit, looking down at his perfect face, his jade orbs that were looking into mine, and he explained. “I don’t see why you just won’t admit that you’re fucking gorgeous and get it over with.” He said, smiling slightly at my shocked expression.

I began to hate how he lied to me so much. He would call me these things—beautiful, perfect, gorgeous, etc.—every chance he got. As much as it felt good to hear him say that, I didn’t want him to lie. I knew he was lieing. Something in my gut told me so. Then I realized that the reason why I thought he was lieing was because of the fact that he was dating someone who was probably the most gorgeous girl to ever exist. That girl wasn’t me. Her name didn’t even sound like mine. I understood that Zacky wanted to be with me because I was a Hybrid, and we were the same, but it just couldn’t be true that he actually felt something for me. Sure, we’ve done things together, but they were innocent things. We always let ourselves get carried away, as do most people, but there was something different. I debated whether that ‘something different’ was because Zacky thought all of those things of me. But it couldn’t be. They were lies. They just had to be.

“Candace, stop being so hard on yourself,” Zacky said, his voice barely above a whisper. I had noticed how tight his grip was around my waist, and it felt good, to be honest. He rested his forehead on my shoulder, and I could feel his black hair against my neck. I placed my hands on top of his, and he immediately laced our fingers together. I could feel the smile forming on his lips against my shoulder. “You’re perfect, and you’ll just have to start believing that whether you like it or not. Everything you do drives me crazy.” He murmured, and my breaths became a bit shorter than before. “I love how shy you are, it makes you adorable, and makes me want to know you. I love your smile, you don’t do it often, but when you do, my heart literally stops beating.” I couldn’t believe he was saying these things to me, the Fuck Up. “I love your insecurity, it makes me want to protect you from all the bad things this world has to offer. I love how you act like it’s such a big deal when people like you, you act like everyone hates you, or something, and it makes me want to show you that people do care for you, and they do love you.” he said the last part quietly, leaving me to my thoughts.

Why was Zacky saying all of these things? It’s not that I’m complaining, I’m just not used to it. I’ve always had to live in the shadow of Danielle and Leana, who were the ones who fucked up my life by being born. My life was pretty good until Cynthia got pregnant with Leana, and then everything turned upside down. I was no longer looked at by older women and men and have them gush over me, no, that only happened to Leana once she was born. Then came Danielle, and that’s when shit hit the fan. I was completely forgotten by the ones who raised me, although they did let me stay in their house, which is nice, I suppose, but it wasn’t the same. I didn’t belong to anyone, I wasn’t anyone’s pride and joy, no one cared about me, and that made me not care about myself. That’s why I hardly ever wear makeup, or actually took the time to get the wild hairs to stay down in my dark brown hair, because I was never shown that someone cared. And then, he came into my life. Zacky wanted to be around me, and I wanted to be around him. I don’t know what’s up with the nonsense of having him calling me perfect, but that’s how he was to me. He was the perfect god, but I couldn’t have him. I chewed on the inside of my lip as I felt Zacky take a breath, signaling he was going to speak again.

”I can’t ever get you out of my head.” He said in his normal voice. I listened, barely moving, hardly breathing, and I could faintly hear my own heartbeat as I feared for what he was going to say. “I hate being away from you. You make me…happy. Just looking at you makes me smile. I don’t know why I feel this way, but I know what it’s called.”

My eyes widened slightly as I thought of what his words could possibly mean. He couldn’t possibly think of me that way, could he? But, there were so many things wrong with me. I was suicidal…well, I was…before he saved me. I knew for sure that I felt this way about him, considering I was telling myself that from the minute I met him. But he couldn’t feel the same way. I was just a charity-case, isn’t that what he thought of me as? That’s why he saved me, to make himself feel better? But that couldn’t be, or else he wouldn’t have kissed me or slept in the same bed as me if he saw me as a charity-case, or nut-case, either one will do. I closed my eyes as Zacky kissed my neck, biting my lip softly as I felt his plush lips against my earlobe.

“I don’t know what makes me feel this way when I’m around you,” Zacky whispered, and I could feel the pores in my arms lifting up, giving me Goosebumps. “But I can’t help but love it.” I felt his fingers tighten around mine as he pulled me closer to him, if that was possible. “Candace…” he whispered, and I knew it was coming. “I love you.”

The world stopped. My breathing stopped. My heart rate stopped. Everything inside and outside of me stopped. I stopped functioning, and yet I was still alive. Every cell in my body had stopped their normal routines of getting their job done had shut down completely. My heart was no longer pumping blood through my veins, and my marking began to burn. I didn’t look down to see if my marking was burning or if it was my imagination, mainly because my brain was malfunctioning as it was trying to understand the words Zacky had just whispered into my ear, which I could no longer hear out of. The flashbacks of my dreams I had received when I first met Zacky were playing in the back of my head. In my dreams the Adonis would always tell me he loved me, and would hold me the way he was holding me now. This couldn’t be happening to me. I’m not worthy of having someone like Zacky telling me that he loves me, or for me to receive his full attention. No, I wasn’t enough to give him what he needed. I was a poor, helpless little girl who didn’t know anything of this world.

Zacky stirred a bit behind me, and I knew he was waiting for my reaction other than sitting there motionless. He kept his arms tight around my waist, and I felt his chin on my shoulder. I saw his glistening jade orbs looking at my face, searching for any sight of emotion. I had to respond, but I wasn’t sure of how to say it. I had felt this way since the minute I met him, but never really thought of the right words to explain it. Then again, he was pretty straightforward with what he admitted; I suppose I’ll have to do the same. I shifted a bit as he loosened his grip on me, allowing me to move. I now had my right shoulder pressed against his chest and my legs bending at the knees so I was still in between his legs. I moved once more, only to be able to wrap my arms around his middle, my chest now pressing against his. I was a bit uncomfortable, what with the way my body was positioned, but I didn’t mind. I nuzzled my face into his neck, and I heard him chuckle under his breath. I lifted my head up a bit to where my lips were brushing against his ear. I wasn’t sure how I was going to say this, but I was going to give it a shot. “I love you, too.”

Zacky stopped moving once I recited my words. But he was quick to get himself out of his trance. His arms went back to their usual unbelievably tightness around my waist as he pulled me against his chest. I smiled as his heavily aroma filled my nose, and somehow managed to move closer to him. I could tell Zacky was smiling, mainly because his jawline moved a bit when he did, which only caused me to smile wider.

We had confessed to each other what we had wanted to say for so long, and it finally happened. Slowly but surely, more and more of Zacky started to belong to me, and my entire heart now rested in his hands. We were in love. It might not be the right time to be in love, but we were. This was our secret. No one else would know, not even Brian, that is, unless Zacky finally takes matters into his own hands by breaking someone’s heart.