So Sacrifice Yourself, and Let Me Have What's Left
Sleepover
The sounds of the waves crashing against the shore pounded against my eardrums as I watched the white foam seep closer and closer towards Zacky’s body. It now occurred to me that not only humans, but nature wanted Zacky just as much as the rest of us did. I watched as he stared out into the blue shades that were either the dark color of the ocean or the light color of the sky. He looked so peaceful from the back, but once I could see his face I knew he was anything but. The looks of pain and worry were carved all over what was to me the face of an angel as Zacky continued to stare out into space. He was dressed in all black, which didn’t look like it bothered him even though the sun was beating against his pale skin. I took another step towards him, slightly afraid of if I should really talk to him or not. He seemed to be content just sitting alone and thinking everything over and not have someone come up to him and talk to him. I began to think that this was a bad idea, and that Johnny didn’t know what he was talking about whenever he said that Zacky wanted to talk to me. I began to think that it was my mind playing tricks on me for actually thinking that a god would take interest in a good for nothing like me. It killed me to think that but I knew that if I didn’t, I would surely go insane thinking the impossible could actually happen.
But then something happened. A spark went off inside of me, a spark that I wasn’t familiar with. I wasn’t sure why or where this was coming from, but somehow I did it. It was like a whole new person slipped inside of me, pushing all of my negative fears and doubts out of my mind as a new soul took over my body, forcing my old foolish one out. My vision was a bit unclear as my new soul told my brain what to do. I began to take more steps towards Zacky, and stopped when I was not even two feet away from him. My heart was pounding in my ears, but my new soul knew exactly what to do. “The guys want you to come inside. They’re worried about you.” a voice said that sounded strangely familiar to mine. But it couldn’t have been mine; I would never be so straightforward towards someone so beautiful and majestic without once stuttering.
Zacky even seemed surprised by the fact that I was standing right beside him. He looked up, and at that moment my new soul understood why my old one was such a coward. He was even more beautiful like this, with the sun hitting his pale face and his lip rings sparkling in the daylight. His jade orbs burned into mine as we had another moment. This time it was clear as day instead of just in our minds. We stared at each other with so much desire and adore it was unbelievable. It was like we could’ve stayed here all day staring at each other, which would’ve been fine with me. Zacky got out of the trance, and I soon followed, as he shook his head side to side. “I need to stay out here.” He said softly, causing my heart to jump at the slight lisp in his deep voice.
“Oh.” Was all I could come up with as I heard the hurt in his voice after I had gotten over his beauty. I wasn’t sure what to do, but I knew I couldn’t stay here. He obviously didn’t want the company, meaning Johnny had no idea of what he was talking about when he tried to get me to believe that Zacky wanted me to talk to him. “I guess I should, uh, go now.” I said, turning my back, intending to head back towards Brian’s house and slap Johnny upside the head.
“Why are you leaving?” I heard an angel’s voice ask from behind me. I turned to see Zacky looking back at me, his back slightly turned so half of his body was facing mine. He had a look of hope in his eye that I didn’t want to believe was real so I could get over my stupid obsession and leave him behind.
“Well, you probably want to be alone so…” I couldn’t find the right words. That was a task that was almost impossible when it came to Zacky. He was perfect, and just looking at him made me speechless. It only took my new soul two seconds to realize that, and I was almost sure it was packing its bags and letting my old soul take over, the one that can’t do anything right, like talk to a god.
Zacky shook his head side to side before looking back into my green eyes once more. “No, I don’t. I just don’t wanna go back in there.” He said, nodding his head towards Brian’s house. He then began to pat the white sand that was next to him, gesturing me to sit there.
I couldn’t believe this was happening. The god actually wanted me to sit beside him and be his company. I told myself that I was probably dreaming again, considering these kinds of things happened all the time when I was dreaming about the god holding me, loving me, wanting me. I took two steps before I was standing right beside Zacky, and sat down, the white sand grazing my jeans as I sat with my legs crossed in front of me, my hands supporting my weight as my fingers dug into the sand behind me. I watched as the water barely touched my black shoes, and then the white foam would seep away back into the darkness of the ocean.
“You know, if you don’t like us, you can just tell us. We’ll leave you alone.” Zacky said randomly, his hands holding his legs as he continued to sit Indian-style and watched the waves crash against the shore, not once looking at me.
I looked at him, and tried not to stare at him. He was truly remarkable, there was no hiding that. I wanted to be the one to say that he was mine and no one else’s. I felt a pull between us, almost as if even gravity wanted us to be together. It was driving me insane, and I knew that if I didn’t do anything about it I would gladly start going to Doctor Thompson’s office, agreeing with everything he said about me being a nutcase. “What?” I asked.
Zacky then turned his attention from the ocean to me, and my heart skipped a beat. I loved having his attention, and being the only one around to receive it. I wanted to be like this with him, just the two of us. I’m not so sure why I feel this way about him, or why I’m like this, but I had a feeling that it was a bad thing to happen to me. “You’re so quiet. I feel like you don’t like us.” He said and, it might have been just me, but I heard hurt in his voice.
I shook my head side to side, causing my brown hair to shake slightly. “No, that’s not it. I’m always quiet.” I said, looking back into those sparkling jade green eyes that drove me insane every time I saw them.
“You’re not being quiet now.” Zacky said. I don’t know why, but every time I’m around Zacky my vision gets all fucked up. I swear I could’ve seen him move toward me, but he couldn’t have. There’s no way he could have moved closer to me, and still was.
I knew I had to stop this hallucination before I went insane. I began to wonder once more why Zacky was out here, and I really couldn’t help myself. I didn’t mean to be nosy, but it seemed strange that he was out here by himself. Johnny said his parents fought a lot, but that didn’t mean he had to isolate himself from his friends, although, if you think about it, I have no room to talk. “If you don’t mind me asking, why are you out here?”
Zacky’s face hardened and I was slightly expecting that. He looked a bit troubled, and I had a feeling he didn’t really want to talk about it. I didn’t press him on, because something told me that he was going to tell me whether he liked it or not. “Uh, my parents sort of got in a fight last night, so I came out here to think things through.” He said softly.
I nodded in an understanding way. Usually I would let things drop there if I didn’t feel like the other person didn’t want to talk more about whatever I had asked them about, but there was something different about Zacky. I felt like I had to make him feel better, and that talking might help. “What was it about?” I asked, bringing my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around my legs. I rested my cheek on my knees so I could look at nothing but Zacky. I definitely liked this view.
Zacky sighed, looking down at his hands. “Me, as usual.” He said glumly. I could see the pain in his eyes. I had never seen anyone so down like this. That was usually my job. I didn’t like seeing him so sad. It made me want to cry and do everything in my power to help him. “Ever since I turned sixteen they’ve been getting into huge fights.”
“What happened when you were sixteen?” I asked with a hint of sympathy in my voice. I wanted him to know that I wasn’t being nosy and that I was really trying to help him instead of knowing for the sake of knowing.
“I…changed…and they didn’t know how to deal with it, so they took it out on each other.” Zacky said, running his fingers through his black hair before resting his elbows on his knees, holding his face in his hands. “They do it every night when they think my brother and I are asleep. I don’t know why they think we can’t hear them. My brother doesn’t really think anything of it, but it kills me because I know they’re fighting over me. I just wish I wasn’t the way I was, then maybe they would be happy together again.” He sighed, turning so his hands were holding his cheek, and he was facing me.
I was astounded that he had opened up this much towards me. This was the first time we were actually together, and he had actually decided to talk to me about something that I could tell was close to him. I knew he didn’t like talking about it, and yet he told me these things anyway. It also made me realize that I was wrong about him. He may have been perfect on the outside, but inside was a small little boy that wasn’t sure what he had done to have his parents fight over him.
“They spend so much time fighting.” Zacky continued. “I feel like that maybe they don’t really care about me, and that they would rather have me dead than being their son.” He said sadly, looking from my eyes to my hands that were still wrapped around my legs.
“But, they’re fighting over you, that means they have to care a little bit.” I stated, not so sure if what I was saying was the truth or not. They could be fighting over whether to give him up for adoption or not. But, then again, I did live next door to this guy, and I never heard them fighting. Well, then again, I’m too busy thinking about Zacky to hear or notice anything that’s going on around me.
“They’re fighting over about how much of a mistake I was.” Zacky said coldly. I could tell that hurt him the most. It must be hard being so perfect and yet not having your parents love you or think you were just a mistake. “I can tell that if they could go back in time they wouldn’t have me again.”
I couldn’t think of a life without Zacky. He was perfect, and I’m not so sure of what made his parents see otherwise. I felt terrible for him. I wanted so desperately to make him feel better and to think that his parents do love him, when I’m not so sure if they really do or not. “Well, if you ever need to escape,” I let the thought slip out of my mouth. “My window’s always open.” I said, lifting the corners of my lips in a smile, hoping that it would work.
My heart skipped a beat as the corners of Zacky’s plush lips lifted a bit upwards, his lip rings traveling further up his lower lip. It was the first time I had ever seen him smile. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to make me feel like I had accomplished what I wanted. “I just might take you up on that.” Zacky said, turning the smile back into a smirk, and I, being as clueless as I am, had no idea of what he was thinking about. I wouldn’t let myself think that he could see me in such a way, even though I had already had the dreams about him that were much more mature than what most girls my age should dream about.
“Candace!” I heard Brian call. Zacky and I both looked to see Brian standing in the patio, looking back at both of us. “Your mom’s here!” he said, and I knew that this meant I would have to separate myself from the beautiful god sitting next to me, which was the last thing I wanted to do.
--
I stared at the Beauty in the Mirror. She stared back, mimicking every move I did to prepare myself for bed. I was starting to accept the fact that this woman really was me, although I still thought she was too beautiful and too graceful to be the appearance of an awkward adolescent that I sadly was. I sighed as I realized I was finished with my nightly routine, which consisted of taking a shower, getting into my nightclothes, and brushing my teeth. I decided to wear a short sleeved plain white shirt with black sweats. If there was anything I hated most it was my body from the waist down. I felt like I had every right to hide it, even though from what the Beauty in the Mirror showed me I should be embracing my legs and thighs and other things. But no, I was going to hide everything, for now, that is.
I quickly slipped into my bed, burying myself under the covers as my wet hair soaked my pillow that my head was rested upon. It was completely silent, for that’s how I made it when I went to bed, but I also had it silent for another reason. I wanted to see if I could hear Zacky’s parents fighting. I know it’s a bad thing to do, but I wanted to know how two people could hate their son so much when he was the most perfect thing to ever walk on this earth. I heard muffled shouts coming from a distance, and I knew that was them. A part of me hoped that Zacky would remember what we talked about on the beach earlier today and, as naïve and foolish as it sounds, I hoped he would come over here. I felt the heaviness of sleep weigh down against my eyelids, and tonight I had to obey, for tomorrow was school, and I am not a morning person. I closed my eyes, hoping to drift into a peaceful and relaxing sleep.
In the midst of dreaming, one can be influenced by the visions they are given from the outside world. When the Adonis is holding you tightly in his arms, repeating your name over and over again, you don’t realize that it is because of the outside world, the real world, that you hear your name escaping the Adonis’ lips. It is at that point to where your brain realizes that the real world wants to acknowledge you, and takes you out of your peaceful slumber and out into the cold, harsh world.
“Candace.” A voice whispered, causing me to awaken from my dreams. “Candace, are you awake?” the voice whispered once more, and then I realized that the voice sounded like an angel’s.
My eyes fluttered open and I came face to face to my beige colored wall. I could see—thanks to the window that led out into my balcony shedding light from the moon into my room—an unfamiliar shadow standing over mine. I let out a soft whimper from being tired as I turned in my bed to face who the shadow belonged to. Even though he was facing away from the light, his jade orbs were looking back into mine, shining as brightly as they always did. He had a look of fear and concern plastered all over his face. He had a normal black t-shirt on with jeans as he had his arms crossed tightly over his waist, and, even though I couldn’t see, I could tell he was probably barefoot, considering he was slightly shorter than usual. I was too tired to admire his beauty and be in awe at the fact that he was in my room, at night, while everyone else was sleeping. I gave him a slightly confused look, and he saw every inch of my face, considering my hair was still slightly wet and had fallen when I turned so my face was looking up towards the ceiling, but my eyes were looking at him.
Zacky smiled slightly at my expression. “My parents are fighting again. Is that offer of yours still good?” he whispered with a hint of hope in his voice.
I couldn’t believe that he actually wanted to be with me, here, in my room, once again, alone, without anyone knowing because they’re all fast asleep. I felt a bit like Leana, who always had guys creeping into her room at night, although I wasn’t going to give Zacky what Leana gave most guys. I nodded, too tired to go coo-coo bananas over the fact that a god was going to sleep in the very same room as I was.
Zacky’s small smile widened a bit. “Thanks.” He whispered. He then began to look through my room, and I could tell he was trying to find a place to sleep.
I noticed the empty space on the right side of my bed. There was a pillow next to mine, and there was enough sheets and comforter for a second person. I couldn’t help myself, and I was going to make a risk that could sentence me to death. I looked back at Zacky, who was still looking for a place. “You can sleep here.” I whispered, earning his attention as I began to pat the empty side of my bed.
Zacky may have not shown it through his facial expression and his body language, but I could tell he was surprised that I would even suggest him sleeping in the same bed as me. He looked from the empty space of my bed to me. “Are you sure?” he whispered, careful not to wake the others who were still fast asleep in the rest of this house.
I nodded, closing my eyes, intending to go back to sleep. I turned to where my body was facing the wall, and the empty space that I hoped Zacky would fill. I could hear and feel someone crawl into bed beside me on my right side, the side I was facing. I opened my eyes to see Zacky looking back at me, lying down on the bed beside me. I smiled slightly as the moonlight shone on Zacky’s face, making every beautiful detail that graced his face visible.
Zacky smiled back, noticing how sleepy I was. “Thanks for letting me stay here.” He whispered. A strand of my brown hair had fallen in my face, and, to my surprise, Zacky brushed it behind my ear, the smile still on his face.
I bit my lower lip as he did that, my smile widening, knowing that it was probably because of the situation we were in that he had done something like that, but there was a part of me that wished it was something else. “No problem.” I whispered, even though I was a bit late on the reply, thanks to me being star struck by his beauty. “What were they fighting about now?” I asked, curious.
Zacky’s smile faded, as I was expecting, but I knew he was going to tell me anyway. “About how they wish they never had me.” he whispered. “It’s weird because, they agree on everything they say, and yet they still find every reason to fight over it.” he chuckled slightly, trying to make himself feel better, I guess.
I couldn’t understand how they could hate their son so much. I understood about my real parents, considering I wasn’t so unbelievably gorgeous as Zacky or as perfect as he was, so I didn’t have one negative thing to say about how my real parents abandoned me, because I probably would’ve done the same. But Zacky, he was perfect. How could someone hate him so much to where they fight about him every night? “If it makes you feel better, my parents didn’t want me, either.”
Zacky gave me a confused look by furrowing his brows, causing him to look even cuter than he really was. “You’re adopted?” he whispered.
I was amazed that he had caught on so fast. He was smarter than I took him for. I nodded. “Yeah, they just dropped me off with the ones I live with now. Luckily Cynthia and Devin took me in.” I whispered. I found myself moving closer to him, which was something I should have been expecting, but, to my surprise, Zacky was moving closer to me as well.
“Wow, I’m sorry that had to happen to you.” Zacky whispered, clearly shocked that I was adopted. He continued to move closer to me, as did I, and soon our bodies were almost touching. We looked into each others eyes as things fell silent between us, which was fine with me. His lip rings sparkled in the moonlight, almost as if they were begging to be pressed upon another pair of lips. “Uhm, I kinda like cuddling.” Zacky whispered. “So, if you wake up with my arm around you, sorry.” He looked a bit ashamed at what he had just admitted; little did he know that I probably would have done the same for him.
I nodded, smiling slightly. I had never smiled this much around anyone. I knew that Zacky was going to be special, and that he was going to be the one to make me break out of my shell and transform into the butterfly that is still hidden inside of me. I turned my head and let out a yawn, and felt my eyes weigh down with sleep. I may have acted like I was just tired, but I knew exactly what I was doing. I liked this new soul of mine. It was very risky. I closed my eyes and let myself snuggle into Zacky’s chest, taking in his scent.
I felt Zacky stiffen a bit at my actions, and then I began to think that maybe I had pushed it too far, but then I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist. I lifted my head a bit to where my face was buried into Zacky’s neck, and I felt Zacky’s soft cheek against my damp hair. My hands found their way to rest upon Zacky’s chest, and I felt one of Zacky’s hands begin to rub my back soothingly, helping me sleep. I never did like the feel of my knees rubbing against each other while I slept, so my left leg draped over Zacky’s legs, and I felt his leg slip in between both of mine. As I found myself being very comfortable in this position, I found it easier to drift off into sleep compared to when I slept alone.
I felt one of Zacky’s hands run its fingers across my back and up my sides, causing me to shiver. He chuckled slightly as he took a gentle grip of my left wrist, bringing it up to his face. I knew what he was checking for, and I heard him sigh disapprovingly. “Candace, what am I going to do with you?” he whispered, placing my hand back on his chest and his hand found its way back around my waist and hooking with his other hand behind my back. He rested his cheek back on top of my brown hair as I felt his breathing become heavy, signaling he was asleep. I could tell that he liked this way of sleeping, too.
And, to be honest, I hoped that we would be like this for many more nights to come.
But then something happened. A spark went off inside of me, a spark that I wasn’t familiar with. I wasn’t sure why or where this was coming from, but somehow I did it. It was like a whole new person slipped inside of me, pushing all of my negative fears and doubts out of my mind as a new soul took over my body, forcing my old foolish one out. My vision was a bit unclear as my new soul told my brain what to do. I began to take more steps towards Zacky, and stopped when I was not even two feet away from him. My heart was pounding in my ears, but my new soul knew exactly what to do. “The guys want you to come inside. They’re worried about you.” a voice said that sounded strangely familiar to mine. But it couldn’t have been mine; I would never be so straightforward towards someone so beautiful and majestic without once stuttering.
Zacky even seemed surprised by the fact that I was standing right beside him. He looked up, and at that moment my new soul understood why my old one was such a coward. He was even more beautiful like this, with the sun hitting his pale face and his lip rings sparkling in the daylight. His jade orbs burned into mine as we had another moment. This time it was clear as day instead of just in our minds. We stared at each other with so much desire and adore it was unbelievable. It was like we could’ve stayed here all day staring at each other, which would’ve been fine with me. Zacky got out of the trance, and I soon followed, as he shook his head side to side. “I need to stay out here.” He said softly, causing my heart to jump at the slight lisp in his deep voice.
“Oh.” Was all I could come up with as I heard the hurt in his voice after I had gotten over his beauty. I wasn’t sure what to do, but I knew I couldn’t stay here. He obviously didn’t want the company, meaning Johnny had no idea of what he was talking about when he tried to get me to believe that Zacky wanted me to talk to him. “I guess I should, uh, go now.” I said, turning my back, intending to head back towards Brian’s house and slap Johnny upside the head.
“Why are you leaving?” I heard an angel’s voice ask from behind me. I turned to see Zacky looking back at me, his back slightly turned so half of his body was facing mine. He had a look of hope in his eye that I didn’t want to believe was real so I could get over my stupid obsession and leave him behind.
“Well, you probably want to be alone so…” I couldn’t find the right words. That was a task that was almost impossible when it came to Zacky. He was perfect, and just looking at him made me speechless. It only took my new soul two seconds to realize that, and I was almost sure it was packing its bags and letting my old soul take over, the one that can’t do anything right, like talk to a god.
Zacky shook his head side to side before looking back into my green eyes once more. “No, I don’t. I just don’t wanna go back in there.” He said, nodding his head towards Brian’s house. He then began to pat the white sand that was next to him, gesturing me to sit there.
I couldn’t believe this was happening. The god actually wanted me to sit beside him and be his company. I told myself that I was probably dreaming again, considering these kinds of things happened all the time when I was dreaming about the god holding me, loving me, wanting me. I took two steps before I was standing right beside Zacky, and sat down, the white sand grazing my jeans as I sat with my legs crossed in front of me, my hands supporting my weight as my fingers dug into the sand behind me. I watched as the water barely touched my black shoes, and then the white foam would seep away back into the darkness of the ocean.
“You know, if you don’t like us, you can just tell us. We’ll leave you alone.” Zacky said randomly, his hands holding his legs as he continued to sit Indian-style and watched the waves crash against the shore, not once looking at me.
I looked at him, and tried not to stare at him. He was truly remarkable, there was no hiding that. I wanted to be the one to say that he was mine and no one else’s. I felt a pull between us, almost as if even gravity wanted us to be together. It was driving me insane, and I knew that if I didn’t do anything about it I would gladly start going to Doctor Thompson’s office, agreeing with everything he said about me being a nutcase. “What?” I asked.
Zacky then turned his attention from the ocean to me, and my heart skipped a beat. I loved having his attention, and being the only one around to receive it. I wanted to be like this with him, just the two of us. I’m not so sure why I feel this way about him, or why I’m like this, but I had a feeling that it was a bad thing to happen to me. “You’re so quiet. I feel like you don’t like us.” He said and, it might have been just me, but I heard hurt in his voice.
I shook my head side to side, causing my brown hair to shake slightly. “No, that’s not it. I’m always quiet.” I said, looking back into those sparkling jade green eyes that drove me insane every time I saw them.
“You’re not being quiet now.” Zacky said. I don’t know why, but every time I’m around Zacky my vision gets all fucked up. I swear I could’ve seen him move toward me, but he couldn’t have. There’s no way he could have moved closer to me, and still was.
I knew I had to stop this hallucination before I went insane. I began to wonder once more why Zacky was out here, and I really couldn’t help myself. I didn’t mean to be nosy, but it seemed strange that he was out here by himself. Johnny said his parents fought a lot, but that didn’t mean he had to isolate himself from his friends, although, if you think about it, I have no room to talk. “If you don’t mind me asking, why are you out here?”
Zacky’s face hardened and I was slightly expecting that. He looked a bit troubled, and I had a feeling he didn’t really want to talk about it. I didn’t press him on, because something told me that he was going to tell me whether he liked it or not. “Uh, my parents sort of got in a fight last night, so I came out here to think things through.” He said softly.
I nodded in an understanding way. Usually I would let things drop there if I didn’t feel like the other person didn’t want to talk more about whatever I had asked them about, but there was something different about Zacky. I felt like I had to make him feel better, and that talking might help. “What was it about?” I asked, bringing my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around my legs. I rested my cheek on my knees so I could look at nothing but Zacky. I definitely liked this view.
Zacky sighed, looking down at his hands. “Me, as usual.” He said glumly. I could see the pain in his eyes. I had never seen anyone so down like this. That was usually my job. I didn’t like seeing him so sad. It made me want to cry and do everything in my power to help him. “Ever since I turned sixteen they’ve been getting into huge fights.”
“What happened when you were sixteen?” I asked with a hint of sympathy in my voice. I wanted him to know that I wasn’t being nosy and that I was really trying to help him instead of knowing for the sake of knowing.
“I…changed…and they didn’t know how to deal with it, so they took it out on each other.” Zacky said, running his fingers through his black hair before resting his elbows on his knees, holding his face in his hands. “They do it every night when they think my brother and I are asleep. I don’t know why they think we can’t hear them. My brother doesn’t really think anything of it, but it kills me because I know they’re fighting over me. I just wish I wasn’t the way I was, then maybe they would be happy together again.” He sighed, turning so his hands were holding his cheek, and he was facing me.
I was astounded that he had opened up this much towards me. This was the first time we were actually together, and he had actually decided to talk to me about something that I could tell was close to him. I knew he didn’t like talking about it, and yet he told me these things anyway. It also made me realize that I was wrong about him. He may have been perfect on the outside, but inside was a small little boy that wasn’t sure what he had done to have his parents fight over him.
“They spend so much time fighting.” Zacky continued. “I feel like that maybe they don’t really care about me, and that they would rather have me dead than being their son.” He said sadly, looking from my eyes to my hands that were still wrapped around my legs.
“But, they’re fighting over you, that means they have to care a little bit.” I stated, not so sure if what I was saying was the truth or not. They could be fighting over whether to give him up for adoption or not. But, then again, I did live next door to this guy, and I never heard them fighting. Well, then again, I’m too busy thinking about Zacky to hear or notice anything that’s going on around me.
“They’re fighting over about how much of a mistake I was.” Zacky said coldly. I could tell that hurt him the most. It must be hard being so perfect and yet not having your parents love you or think you were just a mistake. “I can tell that if they could go back in time they wouldn’t have me again.”
I couldn’t think of a life without Zacky. He was perfect, and I’m not so sure of what made his parents see otherwise. I felt terrible for him. I wanted so desperately to make him feel better and to think that his parents do love him, when I’m not so sure if they really do or not. “Well, if you ever need to escape,” I let the thought slip out of my mouth. “My window’s always open.” I said, lifting the corners of my lips in a smile, hoping that it would work.
My heart skipped a beat as the corners of Zacky’s plush lips lifted a bit upwards, his lip rings traveling further up his lower lip. It was the first time I had ever seen him smile. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to make me feel like I had accomplished what I wanted. “I just might take you up on that.” Zacky said, turning the smile back into a smirk, and I, being as clueless as I am, had no idea of what he was thinking about. I wouldn’t let myself think that he could see me in such a way, even though I had already had the dreams about him that were much more mature than what most girls my age should dream about.
“Candace!” I heard Brian call. Zacky and I both looked to see Brian standing in the patio, looking back at both of us. “Your mom’s here!” he said, and I knew that this meant I would have to separate myself from the beautiful god sitting next to me, which was the last thing I wanted to do.
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I stared at the Beauty in the Mirror. She stared back, mimicking every move I did to prepare myself for bed. I was starting to accept the fact that this woman really was me, although I still thought she was too beautiful and too graceful to be the appearance of an awkward adolescent that I sadly was. I sighed as I realized I was finished with my nightly routine, which consisted of taking a shower, getting into my nightclothes, and brushing my teeth. I decided to wear a short sleeved plain white shirt with black sweats. If there was anything I hated most it was my body from the waist down. I felt like I had every right to hide it, even though from what the Beauty in the Mirror showed me I should be embracing my legs and thighs and other things. But no, I was going to hide everything, for now, that is.
I quickly slipped into my bed, burying myself under the covers as my wet hair soaked my pillow that my head was rested upon. It was completely silent, for that’s how I made it when I went to bed, but I also had it silent for another reason. I wanted to see if I could hear Zacky’s parents fighting. I know it’s a bad thing to do, but I wanted to know how two people could hate their son so much when he was the most perfect thing to ever walk on this earth. I heard muffled shouts coming from a distance, and I knew that was them. A part of me hoped that Zacky would remember what we talked about on the beach earlier today and, as naïve and foolish as it sounds, I hoped he would come over here. I felt the heaviness of sleep weigh down against my eyelids, and tonight I had to obey, for tomorrow was school, and I am not a morning person. I closed my eyes, hoping to drift into a peaceful and relaxing sleep.
In the midst of dreaming, one can be influenced by the visions they are given from the outside world. When the Adonis is holding you tightly in his arms, repeating your name over and over again, you don’t realize that it is because of the outside world, the real world, that you hear your name escaping the Adonis’ lips. It is at that point to where your brain realizes that the real world wants to acknowledge you, and takes you out of your peaceful slumber and out into the cold, harsh world.
“Candace.” A voice whispered, causing me to awaken from my dreams. “Candace, are you awake?” the voice whispered once more, and then I realized that the voice sounded like an angel’s.
My eyes fluttered open and I came face to face to my beige colored wall. I could see—thanks to the window that led out into my balcony shedding light from the moon into my room—an unfamiliar shadow standing over mine. I let out a soft whimper from being tired as I turned in my bed to face who the shadow belonged to. Even though he was facing away from the light, his jade orbs were looking back into mine, shining as brightly as they always did. He had a look of fear and concern plastered all over his face. He had a normal black t-shirt on with jeans as he had his arms crossed tightly over his waist, and, even though I couldn’t see, I could tell he was probably barefoot, considering he was slightly shorter than usual. I was too tired to admire his beauty and be in awe at the fact that he was in my room, at night, while everyone else was sleeping. I gave him a slightly confused look, and he saw every inch of my face, considering my hair was still slightly wet and had fallen when I turned so my face was looking up towards the ceiling, but my eyes were looking at him.
Zacky smiled slightly at my expression. “My parents are fighting again. Is that offer of yours still good?” he whispered with a hint of hope in his voice.
I couldn’t believe that he actually wanted to be with me, here, in my room, once again, alone, without anyone knowing because they’re all fast asleep. I felt a bit like Leana, who always had guys creeping into her room at night, although I wasn’t going to give Zacky what Leana gave most guys. I nodded, too tired to go coo-coo bananas over the fact that a god was going to sleep in the very same room as I was.
Zacky’s small smile widened a bit. “Thanks.” He whispered. He then began to look through my room, and I could tell he was trying to find a place to sleep.
I noticed the empty space on the right side of my bed. There was a pillow next to mine, and there was enough sheets and comforter for a second person. I couldn’t help myself, and I was going to make a risk that could sentence me to death. I looked back at Zacky, who was still looking for a place. “You can sleep here.” I whispered, earning his attention as I began to pat the empty side of my bed.
Zacky may have not shown it through his facial expression and his body language, but I could tell he was surprised that I would even suggest him sleeping in the same bed as me. He looked from the empty space of my bed to me. “Are you sure?” he whispered, careful not to wake the others who were still fast asleep in the rest of this house.
I nodded, closing my eyes, intending to go back to sleep. I turned to where my body was facing the wall, and the empty space that I hoped Zacky would fill. I could hear and feel someone crawl into bed beside me on my right side, the side I was facing. I opened my eyes to see Zacky looking back at me, lying down on the bed beside me. I smiled slightly as the moonlight shone on Zacky’s face, making every beautiful detail that graced his face visible.
Zacky smiled back, noticing how sleepy I was. “Thanks for letting me stay here.” He whispered. A strand of my brown hair had fallen in my face, and, to my surprise, Zacky brushed it behind my ear, the smile still on his face.
I bit my lower lip as he did that, my smile widening, knowing that it was probably because of the situation we were in that he had done something like that, but there was a part of me that wished it was something else. “No problem.” I whispered, even though I was a bit late on the reply, thanks to me being star struck by his beauty. “What were they fighting about now?” I asked, curious.
Zacky’s smile faded, as I was expecting, but I knew he was going to tell me anyway. “About how they wish they never had me.” he whispered. “It’s weird because, they agree on everything they say, and yet they still find every reason to fight over it.” he chuckled slightly, trying to make himself feel better, I guess.
I couldn’t understand how they could hate their son so much. I understood about my real parents, considering I wasn’t so unbelievably gorgeous as Zacky or as perfect as he was, so I didn’t have one negative thing to say about how my real parents abandoned me, because I probably would’ve done the same. But Zacky, he was perfect. How could someone hate him so much to where they fight about him every night? “If it makes you feel better, my parents didn’t want me, either.”
Zacky gave me a confused look by furrowing his brows, causing him to look even cuter than he really was. “You’re adopted?” he whispered.
I was amazed that he had caught on so fast. He was smarter than I took him for. I nodded. “Yeah, they just dropped me off with the ones I live with now. Luckily Cynthia and Devin took me in.” I whispered. I found myself moving closer to him, which was something I should have been expecting, but, to my surprise, Zacky was moving closer to me as well.
“Wow, I’m sorry that had to happen to you.” Zacky whispered, clearly shocked that I was adopted. He continued to move closer to me, as did I, and soon our bodies were almost touching. We looked into each others eyes as things fell silent between us, which was fine with me. His lip rings sparkled in the moonlight, almost as if they were begging to be pressed upon another pair of lips. “Uhm, I kinda like cuddling.” Zacky whispered. “So, if you wake up with my arm around you, sorry.” He looked a bit ashamed at what he had just admitted; little did he know that I probably would have done the same for him.
I nodded, smiling slightly. I had never smiled this much around anyone. I knew that Zacky was going to be special, and that he was going to be the one to make me break out of my shell and transform into the butterfly that is still hidden inside of me. I turned my head and let out a yawn, and felt my eyes weigh down with sleep. I may have acted like I was just tired, but I knew exactly what I was doing. I liked this new soul of mine. It was very risky. I closed my eyes and let myself snuggle into Zacky’s chest, taking in his scent.
I felt Zacky stiffen a bit at my actions, and then I began to think that maybe I had pushed it too far, but then I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist. I lifted my head a bit to where my face was buried into Zacky’s neck, and I felt Zacky’s soft cheek against my damp hair. My hands found their way to rest upon Zacky’s chest, and I felt one of Zacky’s hands begin to rub my back soothingly, helping me sleep. I never did like the feel of my knees rubbing against each other while I slept, so my left leg draped over Zacky’s legs, and I felt his leg slip in between both of mine. As I found myself being very comfortable in this position, I found it easier to drift off into sleep compared to when I slept alone.
I felt one of Zacky’s hands run its fingers across my back and up my sides, causing me to shiver. He chuckled slightly as he took a gentle grip of my left wrist, bringing it up to his face. I knew what he was checking for, and I heard him sigh disapprovingly. “Candace, what am I going to do with you?” he whispered, placing my hand back on his chest and his hand found its way back around my waist and hooking with his other hand behind my back. He rested his cheek back on top of my brown hair as I felt his breathing become heavy, signaling he was asleep. I could tell that he liked this way of sleeping, too.
And, to be honest, I hoped that we would be like this for many more nights to come.
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happy friday :Dfinally, a nice long weekend, plus i get monday off so hooray! [':
hope this was a good update, comments & subscribers would make me very happy <3333