I'm Lost in Confusion

I was busy trying to come up with the opening part to our new TV series. It needed to be us, it needed to be out there, far, but still be badass. I was think of the theme song that we would use. The sounds. Muse. Eighteen visions. There were so many different ways we could go. I wondered if people have figured out what had happen. Were she decide was a better place for her. I haven't heard or sense anything. I sat down stairs on the couch with my lap top. Going through all my music, putting all the candidates into their own folder. I was getting slightly bored with this. I felt like someone was watching over my shoulder.

Jenn:"yes". I said not turning around to look at him.

Brian:" what are you doing?"

Jenn:" trying to pick out a song for the opening part of the tv show, I only have a couple."

Brian:" you should do rod Stewart".

Jenn:" think your crazy".

Brian:" I know deep down inside you like him." he danced around to the front of the couch and sat next to me.

Jenn:" I don't think that's us".

Brian:" uh fine. Your are no fun anymore."

Jenn:" oh ok, well I just pack my stuff up and leave." I said as I set my lap top on the coffee table.

Brian:" wait that's not fair."

Jenn: “ you said I’m boring now”.

Brian: “ that’s not what I ment”.

Jenn: “ don’t lie to me bitch ass, don’t worry ill go live with zacky or Johnny”. I said getting the chills.

I could not imagine me living with them. It could never happen. Zacky, well he smells and his house I swear glows green cause its fucking dirty. And well Johnny, that wouldn’t work out at all, unless we were drunk 24/7. Gross.

Brian: “wait you know I want you to stay here, I was just kidding”.

Jenn:” god why are you so sensitive all the sudden, is it that time of the month, you know you can tell me Brian”.

He rolled his eyes.

Jenn: “ I think we will have to go over this together. “ I said scrolling up and down my touch screen phone, checking info. I

put a quick text into Jr about how we need a meeting to go over the song. I was so into business that I have lost track of time. Its now the end of September. Things really do go by fast when you are busy all the time, working. Its weird to think that she’s really over there. I’m so used to her always here. Going out to go shopping, working together. But now its all gone. She left end of story.

I grabbed my purse and keys. I’m going to see jr and sofa.

Brian: “ where you going”

Jenn: “ Out”.

Brian: “ out, where”.

Jenn: “ don’t worry ill be pack in time to cook, fuck fatty.”

I walked to the door, and walked in. Matt was there.

Matt: “ oh hey how are you doing?” he hugged me.

Jenn: “ oh, yeah ok. I hugged back. Matt you want to come over for dinner tonight? I asked, yes I’m still mad for him acting like he did. But I guess you have to get over things.

Matt: yeah ok, just call me. He rushed out.

Ok well kind of awkward and slightly suspicious.

Jenn: “ what was that all about”.

Sofa; “ he came to get some stuff from her room”.

Jenn: ‘ what did he take”.

Sofa: “ fuck shortie I don’t know”.

Jenn: “ alright then”.

I walked up stairs and walked into her room. Everything the same. Everything in its place. But I did notice some pictures gone. Matt must of taken them. It was a little weird to be in here. I walked away from her room. Its was like when I was in there she was too. But you know it is me, and I’m a little messed up in the head. Its all my moms fault.
I walked down stairs.

Jr: “ ok we need to agree what song we want as the opening for our show.”

Jenn: “ yeah I agree.”

Sofa: “ This could take hours.”

Jenn: “ she’s right”

I think we fought most the time, instead of picking out the song. But we did come up with a song. Dirty Little Girl by Burn Halo. James Harts new little project. Brian gave me a copy of the new CD, so I gave everyone else a copy of it. And well now its our song. Its cool, I like it. I drove my commute home. I walked in and Matt, and Brian were playing a video game. Guitar Hero. I like that game. I remember when me and melly would play it. She would always kick my ass, even if she was on the controller.

Jenn: “ Hi mat”.

Matt: “hi”. he didn’t look up.

The game was paused.

Brian: “ why don’t you say hi to me?”

Jenn: “ hi”. I walked into the kitchen, to make dinner.

He grunted.

I rolled my eyes. What a attention grubbing whore.

I walked back out to the living room to watch them play, while dinner cooked.

Matt: you want to play?”

Jenn: “ not really.”

Matt: “ you can kick our asses”.

Brian : “ see I don’t get that, she can beat all of us on this, but she cant play the really guitar.”

Jenn:” Brian its matching colors, come on it’s the not that hard. But you know, it is you.”

Brian: “ ha ha very funny”. He went through the list of songs and picked one out.

The music played.

Jenn: “ wait! that’s not fair!”

He pick the one song, this song, wow is all I can say. I like the artist. When he plays it, god it does something to me, I don’t know but I drool. And he knows it. Its not fair.

Please Don’t ever let me, I only want to be by your side. Girl you really got me now. Oh yeah really got me now. David lee Roth knows how to sing. Matt played the bass as brian played the guitar. Fuck! Those faces, and movements he made. UH!

Jenn: “you cant play that song again.”

Brian: “ I can play whatever I want.”

I got up and left. As they played more. Dinner wasn’t ready yet. I walked out to the back yard. I sat down on the plush comfy lawn chair. I took out my phone. I called her.

Chad: “ ello?’

Jenn: “ Chad! Hi sweet face. What are you doing?”

Chad : “ nothting.”

Jenn: “ok, your going to be a big boy soon, are you excited?”

Chad: “ it going to be my day.”

Jenn: “ yes it is. Can I talk to your mommy?”

There was a large amount of ruffling, and screaming.

Melly: “yes.”

Jenn: “fuck you don’t have to be a bitch right away.”

Melly: “I though it was someone else“.

Jenn: “right I’m sure you did. Look I need some help.”

Melly: “ with what?”

Jenn: “ um well my wedding, you kinda picked up your shit and left. Left me with a wedding that for some reason I cant plan.”

Melly: “ oh well, yeah sure I can help you with that”.

Jenn: “ I need you to come out here for it.”

Melly: “ what do you need to be done”.

Jenn: “ everything…I have done nothing”.

Melly: “ have you even tried?”

Jenn: “ yes, I’ve lock myself in Brian’s room and nothing came out.”

Melly: so I guess we can go dress shopping, that’s a big part. And the brides maids too.”

That made my uncomfortable. I wanted her to be my maid of honor, but the other’s I don’t know how there are going to take it.

Jenn: “um yeah. That too.”

Matt screamed in the background.

He was talking about how Brian cheated or some shit.

I knew this made her uneasy. In some sick way I was sorta glad.

Melly: “yeah look I gotta go, chad needs me“. And she hung up.

I set my phone down and shook my head. I knew she was lying. Whatever I don’t care. I knew for a fact that she is uncomfortable. I hope she thinks about it. I heard the sliding glass door open. I looked over my shoulder. Matt’s head poked out.

Jenn: “yes?”

Matt: “ dinner ready yet?”

Brian: “ yeah, cause I’m really fucking hungry”

Jenn: “ yeah go get it”

They almost what it looked like to me ran over there to get it.

We sat at the table.

Brian: “ so where did you go?”

Jenn: “Sofas”

Brian: “ and?”

Jenn: “ we chose a song for the show, that’s it.”

Brian: “ and”

Jenn: “ and…we chose dirty little girl.”

Brian: “ oh ok, you know what would be so cool”.

I opened my mouth to respond.

Brian: “ if I could do the guitar solo on your show”.

Jenn: “no. matt why were you there?” I said as I shot Brian’s dream down the sink.

Matt: “ I was just seeing how they were”.

Fucking liar. I knew he went in her room, and took some shit. Whatever I don’t know why he lies about it, its not like I’m going to do anything.