I'm Lost in Confusion

She's coming today, but she's coming here to my house. I hope there's no drama. I could always live with out that. I hope Brian can keep his mouth shut too. I was sitting outside on the front steps. Brian was gone, I have no idea where too, and I don't care to know. Ha I'm so mean. He loves it though. It was sunny, but it is slightly breezy out. But then again it is the end of October. I hate fall and winter with a passion. I wish it would be summer all the time. It seems like people are more happy, more willing to deal with life. Or maybe I'm just crazy. It could be true. I checked what time it was. Almost time to go pick her up from the air port. I sat here awhile longer. Thinking of the worst things possible that could happen today. Every theory there was. I love to think negative, I think it's impossible for me to think positive on anything. Fuck even my own wedding. The one time in a girls life that is supposed to be the one thing you will always remember, remember the happy moments. But I think it's going to be a real pain in the ass. And of course I like to make my day more complicated, and go look for a dress. That's why she's coming. To help. Finally I need it bad. I took a heavy breath, almost a sigh, then I noticed a pair of Nikes I front of me.

Brian: “ what you doin?”

Jenn: “going to go to the airport“.

Brian: “to pick up?”

Jenn: “Melly.” I said as I stood up.

Brian: “oh ok then”.

Jenn: ”she’s coming here, just letting you know.”

Brian: “ you’ve got to be kidding me.”

Jenn: “ does this face look like its kidding….no”

Brian: “ why, why would you do that, it doesn’t make sense. Look at all the shit she’s done, to all of us, and you go off and invite her here.”

Jenn: “ we are going to go do something’s today, she’s going to be here for two days, And I asked her to come here.” I said as I stood up.

Brian: “ are those things really that important, that you need her?”

Jenn: “yes”. I walked off.

I drove to the airport, then to arrivals, and there she was standing there. I parked my car, and got out.

Jenn: “Hi”.

Melly: “ hey dude”

Jenn: “ are you ready?”

Melly: “ I guess so, I have no choice.”

This made me feel like she didn’t want to do this, I don’t want to force her to help me.

I walked to the trunk and opened it, so she could put her luggage in. we got in the car, and drove back to my house.

Jenn: “ I don’t want you to think you have to help me.”

Melly: “ I don’t, I know you get crazy with this kind of stuff.”

Jenn: “ yeah, its hard with no help from Brian.”

Melly: “ yeah.”

The car ride was silent after that. Nothing was said. I pulled into our drive way. I know she was getting a little uncomfortable, and so was I. I didn’t know if a bomb would go off, or the silence treatment. We got out of the car, and went in the house. I closed the door behind her. She drugged her luggage to the end of the stairs. She just stood there.

Jenn: “ lets put your stuff away”.

We went up stairs to the spare bedroom. We passed by the wall of fame. That’s what we like to call it. Its all our pictures, of everyone. Magazine covers, random pictures of us at parties , family portraits of matt and melly. She stopped and looked at them.

Melly: “ you really still have these us”.

Brian: “ what do you expect.”

She didn’t say anything.

Jenn: “ Brian, stop. Leave us alone.”

He went back to his music room and slammed the door.

She jumped.

Whatever if he wants to be like this then fine. She put her things away.

Jenn: “ are you ready?”

Melly: “ yeah”.

Jenn: “alright, Brian ill be back later”

He came into the living room, he didn’t say anything. He was shooting daggers at her.

I walked out of the house, I’m going to pow pow him later for this. Its not easy.

We got in the car, and headed to some shops to look for a dress.

I don’t know how many dresses I tried on. Ones with lacing up the back, beading, color, Strapless, ball gown, everything.

Jenn: “dude I need help, what do you thing”.

Melly: “ its up to you, I’m not getting married, ask Brian.”

Jenn: “ really?”

Melly: “ yeah, that might not be useful to you.”

Jenn: “ no its not”.

I feel like this wedding is defeating me.

I don’t know what to do.

Jenn: “lets go back home, I’m done with this.”

We got back home, and decided to relax.

We sat on the couch and watched some tv.

Melly:” you got your invites done.”

Jenn: “ no”

Melly: “you have anything done?”

Jenn: “ nope.”

Melly: “what have you been doing then?”
I didn’t want to answer cause It wouldn’t nice. But someone decided to answer for me.

Brian: “ well some people are trying to help a certain someone get over a certain someone”.

Oh here it comes.

She sat there. Taking it.

Brian:” you know he doesn’t love you, your blind as fuck, and you know it.”

Nothing

Brian: “ you know cause you don’t say anything, why would you leave someone who loves you, gives you everything you ever wanted, and who is the father to you kid. You left him at your own wedding.”

She got up.

Brian:” you not leaving, I’m not done with you.”

Melly: “ jenn take me to jr and sofas”.

I got up to grab my keys.

Brian: “ you know what you did, and you think about it everyday. You know the funny this is, I was jealous of you and matt because you were a family. I want that, its was a perfect example of what I want. I though you guys were going to make, I had faith in you guys. But you threw it all away.”

She stood in front of him. I grabbed her by the arm, and pushed her to the door.

I looked back and glared at Brian.

I drove her to their house and left.

I can not believe him. The one fucking time I need help with something, he fucks it up.

I got home, god I wanted to beat the shit out of him. I slammed the door shut.
I walked in and threw my bag on the recliner.

Brian: “ look I’m sorry, but she needed to hear that.”

I didn’t say anything.

Brian: “ok?”

Jenn: “ whatever.” I got up to go upstairs to our room.

Brian: “ come back here, I want to talk to you.”

Jenn: “ I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

Brian: “ well to bad.” he said as he grabbed me by the arm, to stop me.

He’s never done this before.

Jenn: “ don’t fucking touch me, you have to fuck everything up, why! The one time I’m trying to get this wedding planed you fuck it up. Do you even want to get married?

Brian: “yes, but I was telling the truth she needs to hear that.”

Jenn: “ you need to get out before I fucking kick your ass, go to matt’s or something but I do not want to see your face right now.”

Brian: “ you cant do that, look what she’s doing, she making our relationship harder, and with everyone else.”

Jenn: “ you know she thinks about it, so lets rub it in her face more Brian!”

He huffed.

Jenn: “ go” I said pointing out the door

Brian: “ cant I sleep on the couch?”

Jenn: “ whatever”. I said as I slammed the door in his face.

I’m so confused by him, I don’t know what to do. The only thing he said today that made me feel a tinny bit better was that he wanted a family. that’s it.