William and the Washes

Somehow, I always end up getting it on in the shower. I don’t know if it’s the steam that makes my blood boil or if it’s the nearness of another naked guy that makes me so hot. Whatever it is I love it. And I love him. His tallness, his blue eyes, his sandy blonde hair, his cute bubble butt; I just love him. He’s kind of like my miracle baby; I never thought I would have him. If it’s not too weird to compare my boyfriend to a baby. But it’s true: never ever did I think he’d be mine. Then again, these things have a way of working.

You see, I was in the shower in the ROTC building, and I was singing, (rather off key for me), and I didn’t hear him come in. The fact that I was also dancing in the shower only made my surprise that much more embarrassing. He had sneaked up behind me, sans clothes of course, rock cock and abs, and he was trying not to laugh. “Will! What’re you doing in my shower?! And what is—“ I feel a hard pointy object at my belly. I reach up and grab his balls. He bends down and kisses me, wraps me in an all-consuming embrace. He pushed me against the wall, kissing, pulling, groping the day away. If the shower hadn’t already been hot, I’m sure we would have been emitting steam! I got on my knees and sucked his cock; he groaned and said he loved it. He fingered me, rather quickly, and fucked the daylights out of me! Seriously! My ass hurt all the next day! I kind of expected it though: I hadn’t seen his sweet side yet, only the meat-head side!

Speaking of his sweet side, he showed it to me not long after. It was about seven in the evening, Thursday, on the baseball field. We were lying on the grass, arms behind our heads, looking up at the stars. We were just talking, like about his favorite bands, foods, things to do, (And sneaking up on people in the shower while they dance crazily is apparently one of his faves), et cetera. He rolls onto his stomach, chin propped on his arm. “So, you know everything about me, what about you?” He rolled his head onto my stomach and I told him all about myself, how I didn’t sing or dance like that, my favorite food, animal, things to do. He laughed when I told him that I had had a crush on him the year before, I laughed when he told me he had had one on me too. He kissed me, a sweet, expressive, chaste kiss. “Oh Connor, Be my dragon; let me slay you.” I looked at him, blinked, and said, “And are you saying that I’m a giant fat lizard who breaths fire and needs to die?”

“No, no! I was just saying I wanted to slay you!”

“So you want to kill me?”

“No, no! I was trying to say—“

“Will, just kiss me you big meat-head.” And kiss we did. I didn’t think he had it in him to kiss like a man and not like a fifteen-year-old boy. But then again, he was full of surprises.

He surprised me again by bringing me lunch the next day, along with some cookies he’d baked just for me. I took him aside and told him very plainly that I didn’t want us getting out. “Why not?” He was pouting; he looked like a five-year-old.

“Because hun, do you know what’s going to happen if we get out?”

“No, what happens?”

“We get beat up? We get kicked out of ROTC? We get suspended for fucking in the bathroom?”

“Oh, you know, those could be bad things.”

I laughed and said, “Yes, they would be.” I went back to sit with my friends, who were looking at me curiously. Will never paid the slightest bit of attention to me before; now we were laughing and talking? I said he needed help with the summer reading project. They all shook their heads in agreement and went back to playing cards. That night at his house, I snuggled closer into him. I sighed, happy, contended, and pleased. Will may be many things, but a bad lover he was not. ‘Much better than clumsy Roquemore.’ I smiled to myself and kissed his cheek. He kissed my lips; I kissed his neck. He smiled and turned to hug me in bed. Our legs become intertwined and our cocks are rock hard. ‘He knows exactly what I want.’ And damn if he doesn’t give it to me again, and again, and again. He was fucking amazing.

But Roquemore didn’t. He’d seen Will give me the lunch on Friday and somehow his small, meaty brain had put two and two together and figured out that we were fucking. Again, I was showering when I was attacked by a penis! I swear, Officer! “Is this how Will did it?” I turn around and nearly shriek. Roquemore is standing behind me, naked as a lark, cock at attention, ready to go.

“Roquemore what the fuck are you doing? I’m in the fucking shower!” I had to whisper because I didn’t know who was or wasn’t in the bathroom.

“I’m getting my man back!”

“You’re man? You’re man! You had your chance, you fucked it up! You went back to her!” I was referring to his ex-girlfriend Evelyn who I couldn’t stand.

“What was I supposed to do, keep fucking you and not have anyone know? No I can’t do that.”

“Then why the fuck are you standing in my shower naked?”

“I want you back.”

“And you think showing me your, albeit amazing, abs and, albeit impressive, penis is gonna do that? Because I think I’m porkin’ Will now thanks.” I wiggle around him and get dressed. Will’s waiting for me on the field. He sees me crying and runs to me. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“Fucking Roquemore came up behind me in the shower and tried to get me back!”

“Oh, baby I’m sorry. But you can’t say he isn’t delicious…”

“Yes I can! He fucking left me for his ex! And she’s not even as cute as me!” I was pouting and I knew he liked it when I pouted.

“Oh baby, no one is as cute as you.” ‘Good boy.’ He was kissed me his sweet Will kiss and we walked in the direction of his house, ready for an afternoon of debauchery and delicious dudes.

But Roquemore was persistent. He kept trying in ways that weren’t subtle enough for my tastes. He tried to woo me with food, like Will had, tried to get me to go to the baseball fields with him, like Will had, tried to take me home, like Will had been doing. I finally had to tell him, “Roquemore, I’m with fucking Will now! Leave me alone!” I don’t think he liked that.

And my worst fears were realized when I went to the baseball fields to go home with Will, and I see him with Roquemore! “God damn it you son of a bitch!” I was running. I punched him in the side, his stomach, his chest, I kicked his shins, stomped his feet, slapped his face, kicked his balls. I turned on Will, “Did he hurt you, baby?” I was foolishly hoping Will’s fetish for Roquemore was a one-time thing, but apparently he liked the idea of getting fucked by the same guy who’d fucked me. “Hey, if you don’t mind I’m gonna go home with Roquemore.”

“Yes I mind! I fucking well mind!”

“Actually, that’s not what I meant. What I meant was, whether you like it or not, I’m going home with Roquemore.” He just walked away, holding Roquemore’s hand. I started screaming, crying, frantically trying to get him back. But I knew he was gone. And he’d be hurt just like I was. I wanted so much to spare him that, but a rebound boy is all the more fun to fuck. Even as I cried for losing him I knew he’d be back.

I stayed sure for about a week. Then I found Roquemore and Will fucking in my shower, the one I always used. Roquemore was pitching hard and Will was catching every ball. Then Roquemore turned around and asked if I wanted some. I smacked his face and left. I got out of the building, sat down on a bench after running away, and cried my eyes out. And who should show up but my ex-girlfriend. Maddy sat down and just hugged me. I didn’t know who it was, and thinking it was Will in my hysterical state I tried to run away. But when I saw it was Maddy I hugged back, cried on her shoulder, and explained everything. “I know, I know. It was kind of hard not to know. You two weren’t very subtle. But Roquemore was an unexpected twist.” I dried my eyes and blew my nose.

“Yeah, I didn’t expect him to get jealous either.” We sat in an awkward silence for a minute, and then I asked, “Is this too awkward for you?”

“What? You mean my ex-boyfriend dating the guy who used to like me, who then dumped him for his ex-platoon commander, who he had also dated? Naw! Now if you’d thrown in someone like Commander or something I’d have been worried.” We laughed and I remembered why I liked her. I smiled; she smiled back. She kissed me; I kissed back. A wonderful ending to a horrible beginning.

And yet, as soon as Maddy and I were back together, Roquemore showed up demanding that I have sex with him, and Will demanded that either I take him back or let him have Maddy. The hard part was that they came at the same time and I couldn’t play them off against each other. “And where do you two think you get the right to demand anything of me?! First of all, Roquemore, you stole my boyfriend, and now you want me to have sex with you? While I have a girlfriend? Not only no, but FUCK no! I’m loyal, not a slut. And two, William, You left me for my ex-boyfriend, definitely against ALL dating rules, OR you want to steal MY girlfriend away from me?! This is amazing! I don’t think another human being has EVER been in this situation! Not even Elizabeth Taylor! And she was married eight fucking times!” I stormed off to meet Maddy at her car, screaming that men were meat-heads the entire way and naming Will and Roquemore by name.

Eventually they gave up. But not until they’d gotten back together, broken up, dragged me back into their drama AGAIN, and gotten back together for a second time. It was probably Roquemore, he had no finesse. Or maybe it was Will, he could be a REALLY big meat-head sometimes, and two meat-heads don’t make one non-meat-head. For our part, Maddy and I were wonderful. I don’t even remember why we broke up the first time, but it’s not likely now.