I Never Liked You Even When I Tried To

It was the eve of the wedding and we were celebrating at Dani's hen's party.

It was a small get together with her closest friends. There was no liquor. I didn't want to go near the stupid stuff anyway.

The party had been the talk of the town (oh, excuse me, I meant world) for days, and the gossip was finally blowing over.

I hadn't spoken to Nick since the day after my birthday. I'd taken Mr Jonas' warning seriously and was preparing myself for a breakup. Maybe staying away from my soon-to-be ex boyfriend, would minimise the pain when we were forced to separate.

I wanted to tell him I loved him so much, but that would hurt us even more. No heart ever deserves to be broken, especially not Nick Jonas'. He's too sweet a boy.

"Cianna, do you want a juice?"

I looked up to see Miley Cyrus holding a glass and the ladle for a bowl of punch in her hands.

"Oh um, sure." I smiled.

I watched her carefully as she moved over to the refreshments table, and poured me a glass of drink.

"So...I'm Miley." she said as she sat down beside me.

The rest of the girls were engaging in a game of 'best wedding dress' where they created gowns from rolls of toilet paper.

"I hear you and Nick have a thing going on?" she smiled, passing the cup to me.

"Hmmm." I nodded shyly, biting my lip while I ran my finger over the creases in the napkin I'd been gripping tightly.

"I think that's so sweet. You two look great together."

That was nice of her. Her previous relationship with Nick had been a public affair and their split had been splattered all over the media.

There'd been a fight with Demi and Selena because the latter was supposedly dating Nick. Turns it was true, but I didn't want that kind of controversy in my life.

"So how long have you been dating?" Miley asked.

Maya was wrapping toilet paper around her head in an attempt to make some sort of bridal headress. Danielle was tripping around on her toiletry train, and Demi was literally rolling on the floor giggling her head.

The reason why I was telling you these things instead of my answer to Miley, is because I was scared of how she'll react.

"Um about two and a half months." I replied shyly.

"Oh, you're just blossoming into a relationship, how cute." Miley cooed,

I was tempted to join in with the activities but first I had to say something.

"Miley can I ask you a serious question?"

She turned to me and shrugged, as if to say 'go right ahead'.

"How did you make it work with him when you were apart?"

"Love. That's what held us together. Nick might have been in different states or countries but we always pulled through. You can too." she assured, placing her hand over mine.

She patched up her relationship with Nick after they broke up. I believe they got back together again for a while. Maybe we could do that too, but stay as one forever.

"Come you party poopers!" Danielle cried, stomping over and grabbing our hands. "Don't ruin my hen's night by not having fun!"

-

I promised Danielle I'd have a good nights sleep so I'd look awake and lively for the wedding.

But that was impossible, because I kept tossing and turning, suddenly realising that tomorrow would be the last day I would ever see Nick in person.

My dog Snowball cuddled into my side in an attempt to comfort me as I dripped silent tears onto the pillow.

THIS FREAKING SUCKS!

--

The wedding was at 2 in the afternoon, so we had all morning to get ready.

Luckily I'd flown out to Long Island a few days previously, because a severe snow storm was ripping through the east side of the country, and shutting down airports.

The drive to Oheka Castle was a long and tedious one, only because I had to pull over to the side of the road every five minutes to wipe the emotions rolling down my cheeks.

When I saw Nick's Mustang parked on the gravel, I almost ran into a tree and promptly dumped my Kombi van, opting to walk instead.

The whole Jonas family except Denise was standing just inside the front doors, and I decided it would be a lot more easier if I slipped in another way.

Too bad, that my heel got stuck in snow, and I went tumbling over with a loud screech.

Fancy wearing stillettos in this weather.

"Cianna are you okay?" a voice cried, their feet pounding towards me.

"I'm perfectly fine." I grumbled, getting on one knee to help myself up,

"What are you doing wearing those shoes out here?" he muttered.

I just asked myself the same question dickwad.

"Come on." Nick sighed, offering his hand in assistance.

"No thanks. I'm just going to take them off and go."

So I did just that, and let me tell you- the snow was freezing.

"What the hell are you doing Cianna?!" he snapped. "You'll peel the skin of your flaming feet!"

And before I knew it I was in his arms, snuggling tightly into his black woolen sweater.

His cologne made me want to scream and kick myself for drinking alcohol, ruining the connection we had together.

"I love you." he whispered, setting me down on the porch.

I nodded in agreement but I don't think he caught on.

Mr Jonas was glaring at me yet again when Nick leant down for a kiss.

I treasured his lips on mine, one of our last shared intimate moments.

"I'll see you later gorgeous." Nick smiled, pecking the side of my neck.

The staircases inside the castle were grand and every room that I walked past was beautifully furnished.

Danielle was just shrugging into the vanity chair when I arrived.

She looked into the mirror to see me and immediately spun around.

"Why are your eyes all rimmed with red?" she questioned.

"I'm so sorry! Oh it's going to look horrible in the photos! I'm so sorry!" I blubbered, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"It's fine Cianna, I'm not angry. I'm concerned. What made you upset?"

Don't think of Nick. Don't think of Nick.

"Nick." I whimpered, sinking into the couch beside Maya.

They all knew what was going on between Mr Jonas and I, even though I prefered to keep it private.

"Sweetie." Danielle sighed getting up and ignoring the fact the hairdresser was standing above her with a steaming hot curling iron.

I tried to hold myself back-I really did-, but the moment my throat started burning, I gave up.

Sobs wracked through my body, coursing a path of sorrow and misery through my veins that would last for weeks on end.

"Don't listen to my husband honey." Denise soothed, bringing me into her chest in a motherly fashion. "You and Nick are one of the most amazing couples, I have ever seen, apart from Kevin and Danielle of course. When you're not with him, he's constantly talking to Joe or Kev and sometimes even Frankie about you. I've heard him in his room singing songs and dedicating them to you. He loves you so much Cianna."

"Y-yeah, I love him too." I sniffed, wiping my dripping nose on my sleeve.

"And you haven't told him have you?" Maya butted in with a smirk.

"Well you need to!" Denise exclaimed, pumping her fist in the air.

"This is just like some corny, cheesy, cliche ending that happens in movies." I giggled.

"Well I suppose you have a point." Demi laughed.

After my awesome sobfest, I was plonked in a chair to be attacked with a curling barrel.

The top half of my hair was pinned back gently, to allow the bottom layer of coils to cascade down my back.

Makeup was light with lots of white and neutral colours.

Maya, Demi and I slipped on our dresses and then clipped the green and blue Judith Ripker diamond and topaz earrings onto our earlobes.

The heels I'd arrived in were now back on my feet while my toes were being painted with clear polish.

Danielle emerged from the bathroom all geared up and ready to go. We all gave a collective sigh as she fixed her veil.

I checked my phone for one last time and to my surprise there was a text message.

From: Nick xx
Message: I haven't even seen you yet and I think you look gorgeous. I can't wait to dance with you. I love you. Xxx

That was it. I couldn't break up with him and I refused to. Mr Jonas could not make my decisions for me.

No way.