I Never Liked You Even When I Tried To

Cianna moaned and sat up, pressing her palm to her bloodied scalp.

She struggled to stand but I grabbed her arm to prevent her from moving any further.

Ci stumbled to her feet and fell back into my arms. The thick slimy red substance was rushing out of the crack in her skull.

She went limp in my arms causing me to freak. I dialed 911 and sat there with Cianna lying across me, stroking her cheek.

My once white skinny jeans were stained heavily but I didn't mind. All that mattered was Cianna's wellbeing.

++++

"Cianna's had intense swelling on the brain and we had to remove part of her skull temporarily to relieve the pressure." the doctor announced scaring the shit out of me.

"Is she going to die?" I panicked.

"What do you care Nick? It's all your fault she's in this position!" Joe snapped, raising his voice with a few more decibels.

"Sir, you need to calm down or I'll have to escort from the premises." the doctor warned.

"Is she going to die?!" I repeated.

"She may have been in a medically induced coma but she will be fine."

I finally exhaled, and sank back in the seat.

"Can we go and see her?" Kevin asked.

"I'm afraid not. Cianna needs to stay in a very sterile environment and only qualified doctors and nurses are allowed in. But you may watch her from the window."

Joe and I padded into intensive care after washing our hands.

To me, she looked like she was trapped in a glass cage rather than being shielded from germs.

I pressed my hand to the cold window and just stared at her sleeping. A huge section of her soft brown locks had been shawn off and replaced with a white bandage.

The tubes running from her body lead to many machines, including a heart monitor were the line was slowly zigzagging.

Joe looked at me and scowled.

"How dare you?" he spat.

I could feel the tears pricking at my eyes. I wasn't crying because Joe snapped at me, but because it was my fault somebody was fighting for their life.

We spent 15 minutes just looking from the window, until Kevin decided to take us home.

Before we did leave, I breathed onto the glass and traced a message onto the window that hopefully she'd never see.

c i a n n a

With all my might, I managed to flutter my eyelids open.

The fluoroscent light buzzed over me, illuminating the bed sheets.

My whole body ached and my head felt as if a hammer was repeatedly being slammed into it.

I turned my head to look out the window, wincing at the pain.

What on Earth? I heart you Cianna Grace Fox. Love forever Nicholas Jonas. Holy mother trucker, you've got to be kidding me.

Don't forget that he wants to break your heart.

I rolled my head back over and shut my eyes, blocking a mental image of Nick and I as a couple, out of my head,

I fell back into a state of unconsciousness and began to dream a horrible dream.

Nick wrapped his arms around me as I cradled our little baby girl Willow in my arms.

Our daughter yawned and curled her hand around Nick's finger.

"I love you so much Cianna." he whispered in my ear.

"I love you too Nick." I smiled, kissing his lips.

Flying up in bed, I accidentally ripped my IV tube from my hand, dripping blood all over the sheets.

"Shit!" I muttered, pressing the green button to call the nurse and help me clean up.

She came quickly and reinserted the needle.

I requested to sit up, and she propped up the pillows.

A doctor came and saw me and explained that I'd had a section of my skull cut away to relieve the pressure.

It had been replaced while I was in a medically induced coma but I still had to be kept away from foreign objects that could infect me.

If that meant Nick had to stay away, I didn't really care.

Spending two whole weeks with no friends or family really sucks. I had to watch Megan, Mum and Dad from the window as they waved at me and blew kisses.

My manager Charlotte and my parents decided for me to take time from fame.

I argued against this suggestion but eventually gave in, realising is was in my best interests.

The paparazzi were hounding Megan and I as we left the hospital. My sister had been released from rehabilitation completely clean from drugs and alcohol. She did, however, lose her career.

As we pulled up to the Fox family home, three figures shot across the lawn.

Dad eased the SUV into the garage and Nick's eyes met with my own.

I felt disgusted to look at him. Who knows what he was planning to do with those photos; he could've posted them online and allowed some creepy pervert to access them!

Megan and I hopped out of the car and Nick immediately wrapped his arms around me.

"I just want to forget everything that's happened between us and have a fresh start."

I sighed, bringing my arms around him, "Sure, lets put it all behind us."

"Really?" he exclaimed.

"No! I kneed you in the balls, sprayed your car with shaving cream and rejected you when you wanted me to be your girlfriend! Can you not see I do not want to be your friend?!"

"Can you see I do want to be your friend? I helped you at the Disney party, tried to stop you from going inside when that party was on at your house, cared if you got to a motel safely, held you in my arms when you cried over your sister, tried to protect you from being hurt by a boy, and made you my world famous macaroni cheese. Now can you name that many bad things that I've done?"

"Trash talked me, called me hideous, tried to hurt me by loosening the nuts on the skateboard, told me I'm evil, undid my bikini top, told me you hated me, sprayed me with shaving cream, kissed me to shut me up, called my sister a nut, made me cry, had the nerve to ask me out, took photos of me in a bikini and last but most definitely not least, took photos of me changing. Now do you see why I don't want to be your friend?"

Nick hung his head in shame. "I'm such a disgrace." he murmured.

"Took you a long time to figure that out didn't it Nick Jerky Jonas? But it's too late now because I'm never ever ever going to forgive you."

With that I snatched up my handbag from the carseat and acted like nothing was wrong.

****

Mum slipped a tray of chocolate chip cookies down on the coffee table where everybody sat.

Joe instantly reached forward and grabbed one, making me giggle.

Nick looked at me with a smile on his face but I turned away, pushing up the headband that covered my bald section.

He sighed heavily and took a biscuit from the china, biting into it slowly.

"They aren't going to poison you sweetheart." Mum cooed, chuckling softly.

Nick gave a toothy grin, "I'm diabetic Mrs Fox."

"Oh I know sweetheart, Cianna told me a while back now."

I did? Really? Oh yeah, I did. It was way before I even knew Nick. Before I knew what a jerk he was.

"Really?" Nick gave a cocky smirk and a quick wink.

I rolled my eyes and looked down at my feet, embarassed at the fact my mother had revealed such an embarassing secret.

They moved onto discussing something else, but I was lost in my own thoughts.

A warm hand slipped into my mine, startling me.

"Maybe Cianna can play bass and be a backup singer for us on the world tour." Nick suggested, twirling my purity ring around my finger. "It'll be gentle on her and she can still get a kick out of performing."

"We'll have to think about it Nicholas but it seems like a good idea." Dad shrugged.

"Well the international part of the world tour doesnt start for another 3 weeks so you have plenty of time to discuss it." Joe added.

"Is this what you want to do Cianna?" Mum queried.

Truthfully, no.

"Yeah Momma. It's what I want to do. I don't think I could last without performing." I lied, squeezing Nick's hand reassuringly.

"Well alright then, you can go on the tour with the boys." she sighed.

Joe squealed childishly and pumped his fist in the air. "We've now got another awesome woman on the tour bus!" he cheered.

I laughed; the other 'awesome woman' was his mother Denise.

The three weeks leading up to the tour came and went quickly and we were soon loading my luggage onto the bus.

"Got enough makeup in there missy?" Nick teased.

"Shut up Jonas." I snapped, slamming the door in his face.

"PMSing much?" he yelled through the metal. "And have you thought that that's my bus too and we have to share?!"

n i c h o l a s

Cianna nearly tore the door of its hinges in a wave of shock.

"Excuse me? Me share? With you?" she spat.

"And my brothers." I smirked. "Watch that door when you open it. It's an expensive part of our security." I stepped onto the bus and tossed my duffel bag onto the top bunk.

"Oh no. You're not sleeping there. I claimed it." Cianna snarled.

"Oh really? So what? You like own it now? I'm not allowed to sleep there?" I tested.

"That's exactly what I just said isn't it?"

I cackled and jumped onto her sleeping spot.

"Get off!" she ordered, latching onto my leg in a bitter attempt to drag me off.

"Keep trying girly, you're not getting anywhere."

She threw her hands up in the air in exasperation and climbed onto the bunk opposite me.

"That's Joe's bunk." I warned. "He won't be happy with you sleeping there."

"Well I pretty sure he'll let me sleep up here, unlike somebody!"

That was the last word we said to each other that night.

She didn't acknowledge me at all throughout dinner but nobody seemed to notice the tension between the two of us.

As I lay in bed that night, I looked over at Cianna.

She had her cheek nuzzled into the pillow and her arm and leg hanging over the edge.

Joe reached up to tickle her foot but I snapped at him before he could.

"Don't you dare do it Joseph. Don't you dare wake her up." I hissed.

Why did it matter if he did or not? There had to be a certain reason why I cared. I just didn't know what.