Angels and Kings

(Nonnie)

I walked toward the FOB bus, both fists clenched by my side. I didn’t know what I was feeling, I was pissed, I was sad, I even felt guilty. This was supposed to make things easier. The only person I wanted to talk to was Pete and every since that day in the hospital, we hadn’t said a word to each other, but I didn’t care.

When Patrick saw me, he didn’t say a word. He just pointed to the back room. He really didn’t have to tell me where Pete was, I knew that he would be there. “If you wanted to talk to me all you had to do was ask.” I said closing the door behind me. He was lying in the bed facing the wall. Hemmy crawled over to me, and started licking my hand.

“But that wouldn’t have been nearly as fun,” he said turning over to face me. He didn’t smile, he just looked at me.

“Pete…do you think this isn’t hard for me?”

“Sorry I seem to be the only one even a little torn over our break up.”

“Oh you’re the only one who’s hurting?”

“I’m not the one who broke it off.”

“I know I did that, you know why cause it was the right thing to do. After the tour then what?”

“Then you come with me to LA.”

“No, my whole life is in New York. Friends, family everything. All in New York. If I go to LA…”

“What?”

“If I go to LA, and you and I for some reason don’t work out then what?”

“We will work out.”

“Yeah just like the fairy tale right?”

“No…”

“Yes Pete, in the real world things don’t always work out. People don’t stay together forever.” I didn’t want the tears that were building in my eyes to fall, but they had other plans. Which was rather apparent as they spilled down my face. “Pete, I love you. I just know that this can’t work. I wanted this to end on good terms, ‘cause if you remember we were friends before all this started.” he moved to the edge of the bed and reached out putting his hands on my waist and pulling me close to him. I tried my best to resist wrapping my arms around his neck, but once again I couldn’t help it.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. I had to get away from him before I made things worst. I unwrapped his arms from my waist. “Please Non, just…just for tonight, and tomorrow we can go back to just friends for the rest of the tour. I miss you.” he stood up, it reminded me of my first night sleeping here with him he was inches away from my face. My hand moved to the back of his neck and pulled him into a deep kiss. His arms wrapped around me, crushing our bodies together.

I'd missed him too, I'd missed this. This was the last time, and then we were back to being just friends.

***************************************************************

I snuggled close to his body not wanting to get up. I hadn’t meant to spend the whole night. This was a big mistake I knew it. I removed his hands from around me and got out of the bed. Quickly as I could I got dressed. “Don’t go,” Pete said looking up at me.

“That was a mistake, I shouldn’t have even come here.”

‘No that was… right. That was you where you belong.”

“Pete we talked about this and you said we could go back to being just friends. Please just…please.” I was pleading with him, to just stop loving me. So that maybe just maybe I could stop wanting to crawl back into that bed.

"Fine… Fine if that's what you want. Then we will just be friends,” he said in a defeated voice. I turned to leave the room. As I walked through the common area I saw Patrick sitting at the table.

“Are you guys finish playing around and back together now?”

“Patrick we aren’t getting back together, but we are back to being friends again.” I smiled as if that were enough. I made my way across the lot to the GCH bus. I headed strait to my bunk, I was content to spend all my time on this bus, I know I said we would be just friends but that didn’t mean I had to see him all the time right. Callie’s curtain was pulled back as I climbed into bed.

“So where were you last night?” she said with a Cheshire cat smile.

“uh…”

“I know you were with Pete, its about time you got over that stupid breaking up idea.”

“We are still broken up, and we are not getting back together.”

“Oh so you just had goodbye sex?”

“Sure call it that, we both agreed that we would stay friends.”

“Does that mean you will finally get off this stupid bus?”

“No, I like it here in my bunk, where no crazy fans can ask for my autograph while I’m on the toilet.”

“Non that only happened once.”

“Once is too many times.” we both laughed. “Are you still doing the Pro’s Con’s list?”

“Yeah why got something to add?”

“Just that you have loved Travis for years, and you only think you might like Gabe a little.” she just looked at me.

“That’s…ugh I can’t think of this right now.”

“Well you better start thinking about it cause there is only about a week before the tour is over then you lose them both so make up your mind.” I said I know I was being a little harsh, but she would be the same with me if I was in this situation.

“I’m …I’m working on it okay.”

“What ever, I’m going to sleep okay.”

“Why don’t you instead go hang out with Bill, you know that other friend you have been kinda neglecting.” she was right I hadn’t left the bus much so in turn I hadn’t been spending any time with anyone really. “He and Travis are both a little worried about you.”

“I’ll go say hi after I get up, okay.”

“No not okay,” she grabbed my arm pulling me out of the bed so that I hit the floor with a big thump. “Go say hi now.”

“Fine,”

“Good.” I turned with a smile on my face, knowing that she knew that was just what I needed a swift kick in the butt.