I've Had Enough. It's Time for Something Real
Chapter One
-Matt's POV-
Being back home in Huntington Beach for the last show of this tour is such a relief. Spending six months straight on the road with little or no contact with family or friends outside of band members and stage managers really takes a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. And being in a long-term relationship with woman of your dreams though she's miles away from you, doesn't help matters any. I mean, I love the fans, and there'sthousands plenty of girls who'd give anything just to have one night with any of us, and I love my career choice, but sometimes I just wish I had more.
I know, you're thinking 'Goddamn, don't you think selling out every show you ever have, and having enough money to buy your own country is enough? What more could you possibly want or need?', but I don't mean 'more' as in material things. I mean 'more' as in more out of life, and more purpose from the life I lead. I'm not sure if recording however many albums and selling out venues is really what I want to do for the rest of my life, or at least most of it. This lifestyle is everything I ever wanted growing up, and getting to live out this dream with four of my very best friends has been amazing, but I'm just not sure if it's what I want these days.
I would like to settle down with Val, maybe have a couple of kids, get a 'real' job, and just live the everyday life of a normal person. I want my kids to grow up and know the value of a dollar, instead of having everything handed to them on a silver platter. When I was growing up, I had to work for the things I wanted, and I had to work extra hard to get where I am today. I don't want my kids thinking that just because daddy was in a famous rock band that everything is going to be that way for them. I want them to go to public school, make friends, have a stable home, and know that their dad is always going to be there for them when they need him the most. I can't guarantee that little piece of comfort if I'm on the road or in the studio.
Maybe I'm just over-reacting, or being to dramatic about this. And maybe I'm looking too far ahead in my life, but I just don't know what is best for me later on down the road. I know what I want, but is that what's best? And if it is, how do I confront the guys? And when I do so, how are they going to take it? I know it's going to crush their dreams and expectations, but will they understand where I'm coming from, and realize it's time to turn yet another page in our books of life? Or maybe they will continue on with a band of their own, or solo projects, and still live their dreams. I'm not sure, but I think it's time for something new; time for me to move on and have a steady everyday lifestyle.
Now that I've made the decision, the hardest part of all is breaking it to the guys. I'm going to tell them after tonight's show. I think it's the best time, and place, to do so. I just hope they understand where I'm coming from, and that I wish them the best of luck in whatever they decide to do. And I hope this life-altering decision doesn't hinder our friendship.
Being back home in Huntington Beach for the last show of this tour is such a relief. Spending six months straight on the road with little or no contact with family or friends outside of band members and stage managers really takes a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. And being in a long-term relationship with woman of your dreams though she's miles away from you, doesn't help matters any. I mean, I love the fans, and there'sthousands plenty of girls who'd give anything just to have one night with any of us, and I love my career choice, but sometimes I just wish I had more.
I know, you're thinking 'Goddamn, don't you think selling out every show you ever have, and having enough money to buy your own country is enough? What more could you possibly want or need?', but I don't mean 'more' as in material things. I mean 'more' as in more out of life, and more purpose from the life I lead. I'm not sure if recording however many albums and selling out venues is really what I want to do for the rest of my life, or at least most of it. This lifestyle is everything I ever wanted growing up, and getting to live out this dream with four of my very best friends has been amazing, but I'm just not sure if it's what I want these days.
I would like to settle down with Val, maybe have a couple of kids, get a 'real' job, and just live the everyday life of a normal person. I want my kids to grow up and know the value of a dollar, instead of having everything handed to them on a silver platter. When I was growing up, I had to work for the things I wanted, and I had to work extra hard to get where I am today. I don't want my kids thinking that just because daddy was in a famous rock band that everything is going to be that way for them. I want them to go to public school, make friends, have a stable home, and know that their dad is always going to be there for them when they need him the most. I can't guarantee that little piece of comfort if I'm on the road or in the studio.
Maybe I'm just over-reacting, or being to dramatic about this. And maybe I'm looking too far ahead in my life, but I just don't know what is best for me later on down the road. I know what I want, but is that what's best? And if it is, how do I confront the guys? And when I do so, how are they going to take it? I know it's going to crush their dreams and expectations, but will they understand where I'm coming from, and realize it's time to turn yet another page in our books of life? Or maybe they will continue on with a band of their own, or solo projects, and still live their dreams. I'm not sure, but I think it's time for something new; time for me to move on and have a steady everyday lifestyle.
Now that I've made the decision, the hardest part of all is breaking it to the guys. I'm going to tell them after tonight's show. I think it's the best time, and place, to do so. I just hope they understand where I'm coming from, and that I wish them the best of luck in whatever they decide to do. And I hope this life-altering decision doesn't hinder our friendship.
♠ ♠ ♠
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