When the Words Mean Nothing I'll Still Be Singing

It was a Monday morning, but even that couldn't get me down. Tom had kissed me the night before. I was on cloud nine, and I had no plans to come down anytime soon. Liam left to go back to the college campus the night before, which was a little sad, but like I said I was too blissfully happy to let anything bring me down. I was wondering if Tom was every going to ask me to actually be his girlfriend and make whatever we seemed to have official, as I walked down the sidewalk to the school.

It was a nice morning. Not too cold, and it wasn't raining. The walk to school wasn't all that bad. Things were definitely looking up for me. I wasn't afraid of Oli anymore, or his 'friends'. Tom had given me back my confidence. I owed him my life basically. I wanted to give him everything I had and more, I'd give him the moon and the stars if it meant he would kiss me one more time. It seemed ridicules to hear someone my age saying it, but I was in love with Tom. Even I knew it sounded crazy. Kids my age supposedly don't know what the word love really means, and they just throw it around as if it were a balloon. But I knew it was a much heavier word. I only said 'I love you' to family, and I had no plans to sat it to Tom anytime soon. The word meant a lot, which also may sound a little silly, but I knew I loved Tom... and what that really meant.

The say passed by like usual. Tom and I were inseparable aside from class time. His face was still a mess, but he looked fine other then that. I didn't want to leave him at the end of the day, but I had a huge essay to write for English.

Almost as soon as I sat down at the kitchen table, there was a knock on the back door. I couldn't imagine who would come to the back door, or who would be here at all seeing as my parents were still at work. I got back up and walked over to the door. I peeked out the window first. My breath caught in my throat as I looked out at the boy who stood there. I opened the door and just looked at him in a mixture of hurt/anger/disbelief.

“Oliver.”

“Hunter... can I come in?” he asked, looking shy and unsure of himself, nothing like his usual persona.

“I don't think that would be a good idea, Oli... what do you want?” it was hard to say his nickname, but I managed to choke it out. His eyes lit up a little when I said it too.

“I understand, are you willing to talk to me for a minute?”

“What do you think we're doing now?” I asked sarcastically as I crossed my arms.

“Yeah... well... um,” I probably would have been amusing to see Oliver like this, tripping over his words and what not, but I was deeply hurt by this boy. And it wasn't all that funny, “this is really hard for me to admit, but I cant come up with any other way... I know I've been more then an ass to you for years now, and I know you have no reason to forgive me for it all. But I thought you should have the explanation behind it all.”

He stopped for a moment, and I nodded telling him to go on, “I was mean to you because I really liked you, and I didn't know what to do, I was afraid of how you would react. So I pushed you away in the hope that I would lose my feelings, and everything would be okay. But my feelings for you only got worse, and I just kept being horrible to you... I'm an idiot.

“I got Tom to agree to that stupid plan in the hope of getting to ride in on my white horse and sweep you off your feet after he hurt you... but that blew up in my face. So here I am... and I really hope you can forgive me now that you know everything.”

I just stared at his hurt face for a moment as I processed everything he had just told me. It was hard to believe. But I knew he wasn't lying to me. I could still tell when he was lying.

“I'm not sure I can forgive you... just yet,” I said quietly, “and thats the dumbest plan I've ever heard.”

He smiled at the last part, “I was desperate, and very naive in the beginning.”

I nodded in understanding, “I need some time-”

“To think,” he sighed, “I know... I should be getting home.”

I watched silently as he walked through the back yard and jumped the fence into the next yard. I wasn't sure why, but I still wanted to be friends with Oli, almost desperately. I had always wanted things to go back to how they were when we were best friends. But I wasn't sure if I could put all the pain he had put me through in the past and just move on. I walked over to the table and grabbed all my stuff. I knew the essay wasn't getting started tonight. My brain was a wreck, it had declared war with my heart. And it would be interesting to see who would win this battle.