When the Words Mean Nothing I'll Still Be Singing

I awoke the next morning with Oli on my mind. I hadn't slept well because of him. I was so frazzled. I couldn't make up my mind in the beginning. But as I was taking my shower that morning I knew I was going to forgive him, I was going to from the moment he asked for forgiveness. I was kidding myself if I thought I wouldn't. I was hoping beyond hope that the old Oli I knew and loved like a brother was still in there. And from the way he was the night before, I could tell that my glimmer of hope might not be as small as I thought.

It was all a matter of telling Tom that I was going to except his brothers apology. It felt like I hadn't spoken to Tom in ages, though it wasn't even a day. I had been planning to call him the night before, per usual, but by the time I had remembered to, it was 3 in the morning.

I found Tom waiting for me in the front of the school, smiling brightly when he saw me. No matter how worried I was about telling Tom, the boy gave me the worst butterfly's.

“Mornin' love,” he weaved his arm around my shoulders as I sat on the ground beside him.

“Morning Tom,” I replied weekly.

He looked over at me, concern shining though his bright blue eyes, “is something wrong?”

“Well... in a way yes, but not really,” I sighed when he just continued to look at me, confusion written all over his face.

“You wanna talk about it, love?”

I nodded and took a deep breath, “Oli came over to my house last night and-”

“What was he doin' over there? Did he hurt you? I'm gonna kill him!” Tom started raving as he jumped up from his spot.

“No Tom! Let me finish, please.”

he looked down at me and his face softened, “alright, but if I don't like what I hear, then I'm gonna kick him in the balls so hard they're gonna come out his mouth.”

“I'm sure you will, “ I smiled, “right... so he came over... and, well... he told me everything, and apologized, and asked for forgiveness.”

“And you said no,” Tom looked hopefully at me, “you did say no, right?”

I shook my head, “I said I'd think about it.”

“Whats there to think about?” Tom asked, slightly raising his voice in frustration, “think of all the shit he's done to you Hunter! What he did to me for wanting to be friends with you. You cant honestly sit there and tell me that you're willing to forgive him.”

I looked him in the eyes. His held both anger and sadness, where mine where just sad, “i know it's hard to understand Tom, but-”

“No, no buts,” Tom cut me off angrily, as he got up, “you know what kind of a guy Oli's become, and as much as I love him, he's a complete ass hole. Thats all there is to it. And he's put you in the hospital, Hunter! And he kicked the shit out of me, his little brother. Are you going to forgive him for that too?” I could see hot angry tears in Toms eyes.

It was all I could do to keep myself from crying, “Tom, please-”

“No,” he said sternly, “save it for someone who cares. Why don't you go cry to Oli about it.”

And with that Tom stormed off into the school. I finally let the tears pour out. Now Tom hated me. I couldn't stand the pain when Oli started to bully me, but having Tom hate me was a whole new kind of hurt. I curled into myself and cried. I didn't care that I was going to be late for class. I needed to cry, to get everything out before I even thought of putting on a mask and going back into the school.

Not too soon after the bell for first class rung signaling everyone to change classes, did I finally calm down and stop crying. I had cried for a good hour, and I had no intention of getting up from my spot any time soon.

“Oi, Hunter... what are you doing out here?” I instantly knew who was talking to me from the laugh in his voice.

I looked up to see Oli's smiling face, “I didn't think I'd see the day when you'd be skipping... whats wrong?”

I jumped up and captured Oli in a hug, which he quickly returned. He rubbed soothing circles on the small of my back and hummed quietly in my ear. Just like he used to when I got hurt. I knew I had made the right decision to let Oli back in at that moment. The old Oli was there, I was right. But was being friends with Oli really worth losing Tom?

“I take it I'm forgiven?” Oli asked quietly, but hopefully.

“Of course Oli... I hardly had to think about it.” I mumbled my lie into his shoulder.

“Come on then,” he cupped my face with his hands and wiped the tears away, “lets go do something worth while to celebrate our rekindled friendship.”

I couldn't help but slightly giggle at his goofy grin. It seemed I needed both of the Sykes boys in my life, but some higher power only wanted me to have one at a time.