Understand

"Alex, language," Jackie scolded.

Alex just sighed, rolled his eyes and continued his story. As he spoke to Jack about a new song he'd written yesterday, his face lit up with excitement. His hands waved as he tried to explain the bridge to Jack. That moment, when he was perfectly happy, I saw my favorite side of Alex. He didn't have a cocky smirk on his face. His body language wasn't that of a man whore. He wasn't bored or annoyed with Jackie, and he wasn't making out with her either. He was just a boy with a passion; a boy in love with music.

"Hey, Lanie, would you wanna come to practice to hear the new song?" Jack asked, pulling my attention away from Alex.

"Sure. I can't wait to hear it." I smiled at Jack and then at Alex.

"Oh! I'll come too Alex! I love to watch you guys play!" Jackie spoke, grasping Alex's shoulder. I saw Alex flinch, and then smile at Jackie.

"Alright, babe."

Jackie then proceeded to pull Alex's lips to her own and made to shove her tongue in his mouth. Alex happily obliged within seconds. He was back to his old self. Jack and I exchanged glances then nodded at each other and stood. We flocked to each others side and walked away from the awkward scene behind us. Jack offered me his arm with a smile and I happily linked my arm with his.

"I don't know why he's with her. He doesn't really like her," Jack said as we passed the main entrance to the school. There were students still exiting.

"It doesn't matter if he likes her or not. What matters is how good-looking she is, how well she kisses, and how she does in bed. That's how he's been for a while now," I explained, glancing over my shoulder at the shrinking couple.

"True. I just wish he would see what his heart is trying to tell him," Jack said joining in my glance.

"Whoa! Did Jack Barakat just have a deep moment?" I asked sarcastically, snapping my attention back to the face of my friend.

"I can be deep, Lanie. Why does no one think I can be serious?" Jacks shouted and threw his hands up in exasperation. His little outburst caused the students around to look at us curiously.

I laughed lightly and re-linked my arm with Jack's. "Sorry Jack-Jack, but you make it pretty difficult for anyone to take you seriously.

"Whateva! Hey Zack!" And he was gone.

I sighed and circled where I stood. I was all alone and Kara, my ride home, was no where to be found. I noticed Alex and Jackie were no longer sitting on the stone bench, Jack and Zack had just driven away, and Rian was as visible as his girlfriend.

"Janie, where's your ride?" Alex's voice startled me. I turned quickly to face him.

"Alex! Don't sneak up on me like that!" I admonished as I tried to keep my heart in my chest with my hand.

Alex chuckled and his smile reached his eyes. "Sorry," he passed to chuckle again. "So do you need a ride?"

"Where's Jackie?" I asked him. I couldn't stand to be in a car with Alex and Jackie.

"She went to the mall with Kelly and Shauna." Alex and I both made disgusted faces, then burst out laughing. "So I'm all yours." Alex's infamous smirk returned to his face as he spread his arms for a hug.

I shook my head at his childish attitude and walked into his embrace. The hug only lasted a few seconds. I was just a friend and Alex had a girlfriend. When we broke apart Alex kept his arm around my shoulder. As we walked to his beat up old Chevy, we conversed lightly and occasionally laughed at antics Jack had shared with us. We both slipped into the car quietly. Both of our hands flew to the radio dial. A pain shot through my palm as Alex slammed it into the dial.

"Ha!" I said tauntingly as he sent a playful glare my way.

"You always win. I don't even know why I try anymore." Alex shoved the key into the ignition and brought the car to life.

"Maybe you're secretly always letting me win!" I said as we pulled out of the student parking lot. "And you say that just to cover it up. It would make so much sense!"

"No, that's definitely not it," Alex said, taking his eyes off the road for a moment to smile at me – a real smile.

"So when should I come over for practice?" I asked as I rummaged through my book bag.

"Oh, about that," he said, his tone hitting a low point. "I know you don't like the idea of having Jackie there with you, but try to bear through it. Okay? For me?" Alex glanced at me with pleading eyes.

I sighed and turned my head to face Alex. His eyes were on the road, but every few seconds he would glance at me from the corner of his eye. "I'll put up with her." Alex sighed. "But-" He was stiff again. "If she puts one toe out of line, I'm not responsible for my actions following."

Although my tone was serious, Alex's body shook with laughter. "Alright." The word came out broken.

I huffed and began to rummage through my book bag once more. Finally, my finger grazed the cold piece of plastic. I pulled the translucent orange case from my bag. I opened it and popped out the unmarked CD. I turned to see Alex react with a smile. I loaded the CD into the player on top of Alex's dashboard. Rian had hooked it up to the speakers this past summer.

"You're such a kiss ass. You know that, right?" Alex said following up with a chortle.

I sent him a playful glare as I pressed the play button. As Alex's voice filled the air a smile crept onto my face. I was so proud that my friends could make music that sounded amazing. I, myself, was musically challenged, but I was definitely an admirer. I started to hum along with the music and I could see Alex smiling from beside me. When the chorus started Alex and I sung along. My voice wasn't great, but next to Alex's it sounded horrible.

When we arrived at my house Alex turned down the music. I thought he was going to say something, so I didn't pick up my bag right away. Alex sat stiff in his seat. His face was set in a melancholy expression, his mouth was in a straight line, and his eyes bore into the steering wheel. I looked at him for a moment and decided that whatever he wanted to say, he wasn't going to voice it anytime soon. I started to gather my bag, but I didn't bother to remove my CD from the player.

"I don't like Jackie."

The bluntness of Alex's statement startled me and I knew I had jumped. I did a double take and then said: "What?"

"I don't like her at all actually. I don't know why I'm with her. I don't even find her attractive. She's just there, ya know?

I didn't know. I didn't date guys that were just 'there'. I'd accepted a long time that Alex was a bit of a whore. I'd learnt his girl cycle and I'd gotten over it. The thing is, I didn't understand . I'm sure I never would. I just couldn't see why Alex treated girls the way he did, why he treated his heart like he did. I didn't see why and I gave up trying to a long time ago. So, in answer to Alex question, I nodded. Just a simple 'I understand' nod. It still felt like a lie.

Alex didn't say anything else. He just looked straight ahead, eyes filled with thought. He always looked that way when he was about to write a song. I could almost hear the creative juices flowing inside of him. Fearing that the conversation – or lack thereof – would get even more awkward, or that my presence would interfere with Alex's genius, I quickly exited the car. I tried to shut the door quickly and quietly, but I ended up slamming it anyway. I could see Alex jump in side the car. As soon as I was around that car and stepped foot on my front lawn, Alex sped off.