Summer: Undefined

Twilight had come and gone within the blink of an eye. Gerard and I were still talking on the swings. Throughout the past hour that we’d been talking I’d gotten to know him really well.

The stars above us dimly shone. They were newborn stars to the night sky, so it would take them a while to shine as bright as they would at midnight.

It was getting to a point where I could barely see the generic outline of Gerard’s face.

I was about to yell to someone to turn the outdoor lights on when I heard someone scream, “I FOUND THEM!”

With that, the pool lights flickered on. Along with them came the patio lights. The gazebo, on the other hand, had candles, so we couldn’t light them unless we really wanted to. And I don’t think anyone would want to risk setting something on fire.

“That’s much better!” Gerard laughed.

We’d worked our way into the corner I’d like to call “awkward silence.” I hated awkward silences. Not only were the obviously, awkward, but also they were more than a little unnerving for me. I almost always had something to say, and the fact that I didn’t drove me insane.

“I bet I can go higher than you can!” I joked and started pumping my legs to get my swing going.

A genuine smile swept across his face as he laughed and declared that that would never happen.

For a while we were tied. We swung in unison and kept making competitive faces at each other. It wasn’t until we almost both flew off that he finally gave up and slowed down.

“Did you let me win?” I asked, shocked, but not slowing my pace at all.

“Well…Uh. No.”

He came to a complete stop as I finally started slowing down.

I liked the feeling of the wind in my face, and didn’t want to give it up.

With my lips pursed to one side in thought I tossed my head back and held my arms straight and they held on tightly to the chains, I didn’t want to die, after all.

My eyes were closed and I could feel the blood rushing to my head. But I didn’t care. I loved the feeling of finally being free from all of this confusion.

“You’re flying free, Delilah!” Gerard laughed, true joy in his voice.

“I know! Isn’t it amazing?”

“Yeah…”

The happiness in Gerard’s tone was gone. I could imagine the scowl on his face, watching me swing back and forth.

“What’s wrong?” I asked opening my eyes.

The silhouetted figure I knew as Vince stood before me. Well behind me. And he was upside down. But I knew it was Vince nonetheless.

“Vince!” I declared, shocked, falling backwards onto my butt in the sand.

“Delilah!” Gerard cried and he came to my side. Vince moved around him and held out his hand to help me up.

“What do you want, Vince?” I asked sourly.

“Can’t I talk to my friend?” He asked defensively, pushing Gerard out of the way. “And besides, he’s been hogging you all night, I think I deserve some time, too.”

“Anything you can say in front of Delilah, you can be said in front of me,” Gerard pushed Vince back, standing up for himself.

I pleaded with my eyes to Gerard and shook my head.

“Fine,” Vince sat down on the swing that Gerard once occupied. He gestured to the one that I had fallen off of.

I looked over to Gerard who insisted on leaning against on of the poles that was holding up the swing set.

With a sigh I sat back down on the swing and played with my fingers uncomfortably. I wanted to swing again. I wanted to see if it would help me fly away from this whole situation.

But I kept my feet stably on the ground.

“So, Delilah,” Vince started. “I know that Jude told you what I’d said before. And I was just wondering…”

Oh no.

Please not now.

I wanted to hit my forehead with the palm of my hand. I wanted to whap it as hard as I could, just so I could pass out and avoid this entire conversation.

“I was wondering how you were feeling about it…”

“Vince…” I groaned and tried not to look obvious as I stole a glance at Gerard to see what his reaction was. But unfortunately the light wasn’t shining on his face, so I could only see the back of his head and the edge of his nose.

“You need to give me time to think about this…”

“But-”

“Vince, please!” My voice was quieter than before, but defiantly shriller.

“Fine, fine. Whatever you say, princess.”

He rose from the swing and trotted back over to the hot tub, where the numbers were decreasing, but people were still in it.

That’s when I realized.

“Where’s Elle?” I thought aloud.

Gerard solemnly took his rightful place on the swing and kept his head low as he shrugged.

“I wonder where she could be.”

He merely shrugged again.

“Do you want to help me look for her?” I asked, praying that he’d say yes.

“Why not…” He grumbled.

Gerard struggled to put his hands in his jean pockets but managed after a while. We trudged around the back yard searching for my friend. Well, I was searching; he was looking at his feet.

“What are you thinking about?” I bravely asked him

He grunted and shrugged off the question.

“Nothing you’d be interested in, I’m sure.”

I stopped walking and turned to face him.

“What makes you say that? Of course I am, that’s why I asked.”

He gnawed at his lips and continued walking in front of me. I watched as he tossed his hair out of his eyes and looked around for Elle.

I ran to catch up with him when something caught my eye.

A faint glimmering teardrop sparkled down the side of Gerard’s face. He used his black hair to try and hide it but nothing could erase what I just saw.

I stopped again and turned him to face me. He dropped his head again trying to avoid my eyes.

“What’s wrong?” I asked with more authority.

“Nothing!”

He wiggled from my grip and walked away.

This time I didn’t bother trying to follow him. If he wanted to be a moody brat, fine! No skin off my bones.

I exasperatedly sighed and turned to walk in the opposite direction. Too wrapped up in my anger to continue searching for Elle.

But when I stopped looking was when I found her.

She was curled up behind the gazebo lying in the grass. She was awake but defiantly out of it. Her eyes were staring up at the infinite abysses of the sky and her fingers were playing with the grass.

“Elle? What’s wrong?”

The sound of my voice snapped her out of wherever it was that she had gone.

“What? Oh… Nothing. I’m fine.”

She got up from her spot in the grass without another word and walked towards the hot tub, where most of her friends were located.

I followed her, confused as ever.

The same people were around the hot tub, some weren’t in it anymore, and some were.

Aimee and Frank struck up conversation and were giggling together when I arrived. Jude, Mikey and Bob were sitting in silence while the rest were outside the hot tub talking animatedly amongst themselves.

Jules was the only one that I noticed was missing. But I didn’t mind, of course. From what I could tell from our short conversation she didn’t like many of the people here.

Elle quickly joined in with Halle and the rest of them in talking. She fit in just fine so I found no reason to stick around any longer.

I began to walk away when Mikey’s voice called after me.

“Delilah! Wait!” He crawled out of the hot tub and sprinted over to me.

His glasses were fogged up from the steam of the tub and the ends of his hair were dripping.

“Yeah?” I asked, curious to his sudden outburst.

“What’s wrong with Gerard?”

I looked up to the sky, trying to avoid Mikey’s question.

Honestly, I think I did know what was wrong, but I didn’t want to tell Mikey that.

So I lied, naturally.

“I have no idea. He just kind of took off.”

Mikey wiped his glasses with his fingers.

“Do you know where he went?”

This time I didn’t have to lie.

“Nope. No clue.”

“Oh… Okay. Thanks.”

He waved and ran back to the hot tub.

I observed the party again, from a farther distance and concluded that Gerard wasn’t in the back yard anymore. I felt my stomach lurch at the thought of him walking alone at night.

But what did I have to be worried about?

He was strong; he could defend himself if he needed to.

It angered my very core that he thought I didn’t care about what he was thinking. So what if I’d only known him for a couple hours? He’s my friend so of course I’d still care!

I was surprised when I found myself making angry faces at no one.

“What are you doing?” Halle asked, trying to hold back a laugh.

I looked down at my stance and realized how funny I must look. Folded arms, scrunched face, and hunched shoulders.

“Oh,” I gave an embarrassed laugh. “I’m just thinking.”

“Must not be pleasant thoughts…” Her voice trailed off.

She abruptly took my hand and began leading me back to the party.

“Come on, talk with us.”

That was Halle, I guess, being friendly forceful when it comes to parties and things.

She pulled up another seat for me in the circle and pushed me down onto it.

Everyone was out of the hot tub by now. Jude had apparently fetched towels and the five that had been in the hot tub the longest were shivering vigorously in them.

I could hardly keep focus on what everyone was talking about. And I barely noticed when Jules decided to grace us with her “almighty” presence.

I did notice, however, when she started making comments about all my friends. Nasty comments at that.

Good thing for me that they defended themselves, if they didn’t I would’ve had to say something. But my mind was so blank that I don’t think I could’ve said one word.

She didn’t stay for too long. After a few minutes she got up and left, with Mikey following her.

It confused us as to why he did. She made fun of him, so there was really no point in him departing with her.

We conversed for a minute about the reasons behind it. But found that it was a lost cause. No one but Gerard understood his actions.

That mention of Gerard got me thinking about him again.

I wondered where he was, if he was safe or not. And I wanted to talk to him. I wanted answers from him.

It seemed from that moment on that I was an outsider at this party. More of an observer than anything else. I watched carefully at everyone’s movement, over calculating everything that went behind it.

Halle and Ray’s body language towards each other, there was something different than her and Will’s body language towards each other.

Everyone seemed to be acting differently tonight. Well, everyone I’d known before this night. Elle, especially. Something was wrong with her. But she refused to tell anyone anything. Sure, she seemed to be engaged in a conversation, but I could tell that the gears in her head were moving in a different direction that they were two hours ago. Something was happening to her, but what?