Holding My Heart

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Ann’s POV

William’s voice came from the entry way after about ten minutes, “Ann? You all right?”

I looked up at him and nodded, “Yeah.”

I was tired. All that running and being scared shitless took a lot out of me. I felt ok but I wasn’t too sure. I think William was picking up on that too. I mean what do you expect? My boyfriend who was an angel to me for the most part was now some crazy animal. Obviously what Gerard had been doing wasn’t working fast enough.

William had come over to sit next to me on the couch I was sitting on. I just stared at the carpet near us. Looking at the sick twisted designs of the fading colors. It was an old rug. Didn’t even look like it could qualify as a rug.

William pulled me to him and my head now rested on his chest. As awkward as this would be on a normal day I didn’t really care right now. I just wanted to ball my eyes out like a little sissy and feel better afterwards.

“Ann, if you want to cry you can. It’s not a sin or anything.”

“I want Brendon better.”

“I know.”

“I don’t know what to do William.”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I’ve talked to Gerard and we have come to an agreement.”

I looked up at William, “You’re not going to kill him are you?”

William shook his head, “Nah. I’m going to have him stay with Gerard some more but in a different location.”

I felt my heart sink, “William you can’t!”

“This is for you safety and his survival. If you want you can go with him too. I asked Gerard that if you choose to go that you would be granted time with Brendon. Supervised of course-”

I cut him off, “William! I can’t stay with Gerard. Gerard can’t be trusted. I’m pretty damn sure he wants Brendon dead and if I’m there it will remind him that he wants Brendon dead.”

William shook his head, “No. Gerard knows better then that. He won’t kill Brendon because that means he is mocking me and that will cause unwanted trouble for both of us. He’s best bet is to help Brendon.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because I know these men better then I know myself.”

I pulled away from his embrace and pulled my knees to my chest. I felt like a little kid being punished for something but I didn’t know what. Was I being grounded? I leaned my head against my knees and I felt my eyelids where heavy.

My eyes were dry and badly needing to rest but I didn’t want to. I wanted to be awake and aware. I was afraid of this Brendon doing something stupid.

“Where is Brendon?”

William looked like he was deep in thought, “He is restrained in a room right now.”

I wanted to ask if I could see him but I wasn’t sure that was a good idea. He just ran me ragged and I was sure I wasn’t ready to do another round. My throat felt like that gravel pit outside. Dry and rough.

A newborn came in with a class of ice water and offered it to me, “William said you were thirsty.”

I took it from him. “Thank you.”

I took a sip and my mind already felt a little clearer. My throat was certainly happy. It took the water greedily and I acted as a leech for that water. When I finished it William took the cup away from me.

“Hey!”

“Too much water can flood your cells.”

“Oh William come on. As true as that is it would take a lot of water. I just want the ice for my arm.”

The one that I slammed didn’t like me too much. William returned the class to me and I held it against my arm. I still wondered how I was alive. I felt that I was close to losing my life tonight. I probably would have if William’s house hadn’t been here.

“Do you want to go see him?”

I turned to William, “Yes.”

We both got off the couch and I followed William out of the room and into another room. It had stairs leading up and a set leading down. We took the one leading up and I felt like I was in a Twilight Zone or The Shinning.

This place was creepy and old. It looked like it hadn’t been used in for ever. It was dark and very plain. Again with old carpet. The doors looked old wood too that needed to be replaced or refurnished.

He led me to a door, “Do you want to be alone?”

Surprisingly, I nodded, “Yes. I do.”

He took the glass of ice from me, “Don’t take the blindfold off of him. I don’t need him knowing his surroundings.”

I nodded and William opened the door. I slipped in quietly and I heard the door close. I had a feeling William was going to be close by just in case. I scanned the room and it looked like a bedroom. It took me a second to see where Brendon was.

He was restrained to a bed. It looked like chains but I didn’t really want to know. I mean if William wants to be kinky I don’t want to know about it.

“Ann?”

“Yeah. It’s me Brendon.”

I could hear a low growl escape him and he struggled against his restraints, “You’re a hard one to catch you know that?”

I walked closer to the bed, “Yeah. So it seams.”

His ankles were even restrained to the end bedposts. His feet were dirty and looked like there was still a little bit of gravel stuck to his skin from the running. Not to mention the bottom of his pants were dirty too.

His arms were bound above his head and his wrists were already showing irritation from the chain. I winced at the feeling. I came closer and I could see the black bandanna over his eyes. I assumed it was so he couldn’t pull the same stunt he did at Gerard’s.

His head turned to me, “What do you want? Unless you plan on giving me blood and releasing me I suggest you leave.”

I leaned forward and touched his arm. He flinched away like I was some disease. Though I was sure he wasn’t expecting that. He still looked like my Brendon. Maybe a little thinner then usual but overall he was the same.

I don’t know what came over me but I was about to do something that would probably kill me. I moved closer to the bed and crawled on to it. Well, more like on to Brendon. My thighs connected with his hips and pretty much held him in place for the most part.

“No offense babe but bondage isn’t really my thing. I get turned on the old fashion way. I know you would like to-”

I cut him off my leaning forwarded and kissing him. I wanted to see if my Brendon was still there. Even if it was just a little. My hands found the side of his head as I felt him shift under me. I don’t think he was expecting this. I felt him lean up to press against my lips and I pulled away.

He let out a low growl and pulled against the restraints, “Tease. You’re always a fucking tease. You should have just given yourself up. And what is with you always getting me in trouble. Haven’t I done enough for you?”

“What are you talking about?”

He continued to tug, “This is really one sided.”

“It’s for your safety.”

He laughed, “Ha. Are you kidding? I’m perfectly safe. It’s you that should watch out.”

“Why?”

He just grunted but never answered. After a few minutes I asked him again. Still no answer. I felt a little fear. I didn’t know what was going through his head but I doubt it consisted of romantic night out.

“Bren I asked you a question.”

“What are you? My mother? If I don’t want to answer you I don’t have to.”

I smacked his chest somewhat hard, “What the hell is your problem?”

His lips pursed, "Again, unless you have some blood to offer I suggest you leave.”

I felt the urge to beat him to a pulp. I wasn’t sure he was going to make it to Gerard’s place. I was becoming more and more upset with him. I was beginning to wonder if I had done something to set him in this mood. But I wasn’t sure. I haven’t done anything wrong.

I sighed, “Bren, I can’t help you if you don’t stop being such a prick.”

He snorted and turned his head away from me, “Go away.”

I was about to do something that would probably be regretted later but I didn’t care. I leaned forward and forced his head to face me. I leaned close and tucked my fingers under the bandanna. I lifted it lightly and could see those brown pupils watching me closely.

I was hoping my body was blocking any view of the room.

I pulled away when William’s voice startled me, “What the hell are you doing?”

I got off of Brendon and stood by the bed, “Nothing.”

I felt like a little kid being caught doing something wrong. I mean I was but still. Though I also felt like Brendon was a prisoner. I really hated the fact he wasn’t allowed to see. I know it was for his own good but it wasn’t fair.

“Come on Ann. Enough for tonight. He needs to be transferred and you need to get ready to go with them.”

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