The Incomparable Edie Wells

I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. I mean, on one hand, I have just been through the best first date in the history of the universe. How could I not be stoked about that? On the other hand...

“Are you sure you're not mad?” Maggie asks nervously for what has to be the hundredth time, wringing her hands.

“I will be if you don't stop asking me,” I retort, pawing through my locker for my math book, which has mysteriously disappeared. It's only then that I realize I've left it at Parker's house. Dammit.

“Okay,” she says slowly, “but you should know it didn't mean anything.”

SLAM. “It doesn't bother me, Mags.” Lie. Total lie. “Really.”

“You sure?”

No. “Yeah.”

The truth is, it does bug me. I know it shouldn't – I mean, if Maggie and Parker are happy together, then I guess I'll just have to learn how to suppress my gag reflex. It can't be that bad, right? Though the image of Friday night...

I shudder.

“Hey, did you see the List today?” Maggie asks suddenly, becoming excited. “I moved up! I'm in the two-hundreds now! And Park, well, he's in the hundreds!”

I nearly drop my books. “Parker? Our Parker? In the hundreds?”

She nods frantically. “Yeah! 194, I think. Isn't that amazing? Gosh, he even passed me...”

I scrunch my nose. “Well, that ought to put a damper on the sex life.”

She dips her head, her cheeks flaming.“I thought you said-”

“I'm joking, Mags.”

I hear someone approach me, their feet making dull thumps against the cheap linoleum floor. I instantly recognize the sneakers as belonging to Levi – my boyfriend. It still doesn't quite click yet, in my mind. But it's getting there, and I can't help the little smile that spreads across my face. It's automatic.

“Hey, babe,” he says smoothly, placing a quick kiss on my cheek. Maggie's eyebrows shoot up. “Hey, Megan.”

“It's Maggie,” she states irritably, glancing from me, to Levi, and then back again.

Levi rolls his eyes. “Sorry. Maggie.”

This irritates me. I mean, Maggie's my best friend, I would think he would at least bother to learn her name, you know? I guess he's got a lot on his mind, or something, what with football season in full swing right about now. He's got game after game after game, not to mention helping the coach with the freshman team. He barely has time for me, let alone my friends.

At least, that's what I tell myself.

“Guess what?” both Levi and I say at the same time.

I giggle and brush my bangs out of my eyes. “You go first.”

Levi just smiles. “You and me, party tomorrow night. It's for the first 200 people on the List. Everyone's gonna be there.”

I wince, mostly because I know that Maggie is the only one in this conversation that isn't on the top 200. There must be something I can say to make this conversation less awkward, or offensive, but nothing comes to mind immediately. I shut my mouth.

“Um,” is all I manage to say before another, less welcome party walks into the conversation.

Parker looks Levi up and down, but I only barely register this because I'm too focused on my best friend. He looks nothing like himself – his usual dress shirt and khakis have been replaced by a worn out white tee-shirt and acid washed jeans, his usual dress shoes having given way to converse. He looks somewhat normal, at least, more normal than he was before this year.

And suddenly, I feel my heart drop a little bit.

It's then that I realize that the List doesn't just have an effect on your head – it also affects the way you look. Parker never cared before about his looks, he wore what he wanted to wear (no matter what Maggie or I said to him). But now... now he looks like every other zombie that walks the halls, caring nothing about anything but themselves and the List. How could Parker sell out like that?

“Dude, that sounds like it's gonna be bomb,” Parker says, punching Levi playfully on the shoulder.

Levi smiles and nods. “I know, right?” He turns to me – I'm too stunned to notice. “So what do you say, Edie?”

“Holy Mexican jumping beans,” I mutter, still too shocked at Parker saying something is 'bomb'. It doesn't register in my head that I've said anything until I see the puzzled look on Parker's face. “I mean, uh, yeah, sounds good.”

But I can't manage to look at Maggie's face. I don't need to – I'd know that look of utter betrayal anywhere.

-[-]-

“This is so not what I had in mind,” I yell into Levi's ear as he wraps his arm around me.

I doubt he hears me, the music's so loud. I've been to parties before, thanks to Rhett, but never one this... well, loud. I'd be surprised if the cops weren't called by the end of the night because of the noise level. The music pounds with an unfamiliar beat – not surprising, since all the music that the Top Twenty listen to is nothing like the kind people like me do. The whole room seems to shake with the bass, and the whole room full of grinding teenagers seems to shift with the change of songs.

Needless to say, it's not really my kind of place.

Levi's lower half presses more firmly against mine. My eyes widen and I try to squirm out of his grasp. “Seriously, Levi, I need some water or something.”

He rolls his eyes, but offers a lopsided grin. “Come on, Eds, we just got here, okay? Let's just dance for a while.”

That's not particularly true – we've been here for three hours. Levi is just too wasted to even tell time anymore. Of course, I haven't actually seen him drink anything, he's too discreet for that, but I could smell it a mile away.

I sigh and try to squirm out of his grasp again. No use. “Please, Levi? We've been here forever, and I just need something. Some water, I don't know-”

“Shut up,” he growls, cutting my sentence short.

My eyes widen. He's never used that tone of voice before – at least, never to me. I've seen it on the football field, but that's only when he's really, really mad.

“Sorry,” I sputter, mostly in surprise, “I-I just – Levi, that hurts...”

His grip on my upper arm tightens, to the point where I can't really feel my hand. He grimaces, leaning closer to me, his hot breath hitting my face. I try to shrink away, but his grip is so strong that all I can do is turn my head away.

My eyes widen. All he does is stand there for a few seconds, his hand gripping my arm like a vice. I let out a silent cry of pain – silent because I can't really hear anything but the music.

“I said shut up,” he mumbles, finally releasing his grip on my arm and shoving me away.

I stumble into the couple behind me, mutter a hurried apology, which they don't seem to hear, and weave my way through the crowd. My head's spinning like crazy, and I feel like I'm about to throw up, but I don't have the excuse of alcohol behind me. The whole exchange with Levi took about thirty seconds, but my arm is still burning from the pressure. I cradle it gently and look around for something to drink, since that's what got me in this situation in the first place.

Except the whole time, I'm trying to hold back tears.

“Edie,” a deep voice rumbles behind me, gripping my shoulder lightly to get my attention.

I jump about a foot in the air and whirl around, bumping into Parker's chest in the process. “Oh,” I breathe, averting my eyes. “Hey, Park, um, I was just -”

He silences me by putting a finger to my lips. “We need to talk. In private. Okay?”

I nod mutely and follow him as he grabs my hand and leads me to the nearest bedroom. I'm suddenly thankful that no other couple has spontaneously needed to make out in private. Park shuts the door and locks it, but I know that's a habit for him ever since I walked in on him changing one summer and got an eyeful of him sans clothing. Even though I know he's not planning on getting naked any time soon, it's just a tiny feeling of security.

I inspect my arm casually as Park turns on the light. I can see that his face is stone, his mouth set in a straight line and his eyes blazing. I can't tell who he's angry at, but I pray it's not me.

He sits down next to me and gingerly takes my arm, inspecting it. There's not much there, just a newly forming bruise and a few light fingernail impressions, but both of those will fade pretty soon. Parker doesn't seem to care, since he runs his finger over the marks and lets out a string of curses under his breath.

“I knew this would happen...” he murmurs, more to himself than to me.

“What would happen?” I ask, my voice just as quiet.

He looks at me, his eyes wide and full of anger. “He fucking hurt you, Edie!”

I flinch away from Parker's touch. “No, he didn't, Park. I was... I fell down, and hurt my shoulder, and Levi helped me up.”

I'm lying, and I know I'm lying, but it doesn't really matter because he doesn't seem to buy it.

“Bullshit, Edie,” he growls. Though I know that the anger isn't directed at me, the intensity of it scares me. Just a little. “I saw the whole thing.”

Okay, it scares me a lot.

“Park, it's fine,” I say firmly, yanking my arm out of his hands. “It was an accident. It's not like I've never been bruised before, okay?” I shake my head. “You don't have to look out for me like I'm some ten-year-old kid. I can take care of myself. Besides, that's what I have Rhett for. So cool it.”

“I can't,” he mutters, running his hand through his hair.

“And why not?”

But he doesn't answer me. He just sits there, looking at his hands, which are clasped together in his lap. I wait for an answer from him, but his back just tenses.

“Huh, Park? Why?”

And then he kisses me.

My eyes fly open in shock, because that's the last thing I expect him to do. His hands cradle my face and his lips move in sync with mine, willing me something I can't really interpret. The kiss is more passionate, more desperate than any I've had with Levi, and it feels like fire is attacking my face.

As suddenly as it started, Parker pulls away from me, hiding his head in his hands.

The whole thing only happened in about five seconds, but I'm still left there, staring blankly at my best friend.

My best friend who has changed his whole image.

My best friend who treats me like a child.

My best friend who slept with Maggie.

My best friend who just kissed me.

And I liked it. A lot.

“I...” I can't really manage to say anything, for the first time in my life. My mouth falls open in shock. “Parker...”

He looks up at me quickly, the look of anger replaced by a look of something else. “Well, um, there. Yeah. That's it. Now you know, okay? The big secret that I told Maggie never to tell you. And it's stupid, because I know it's just a silly crush, but I thought it would blow over, but then it never did, and then Levi -”

I sit back down, staring him in the eyes. “Park, what are you trying to say?”

He takes a deep breath. “I'm saying... Edie, I'm in love with you.”