The Incomparable Edie Wells

It's official: Parker hates me.

Well, okay, he'll never admit to it if I asked him. He's my best friend, he'd never say that. But from the way his eyes sadden when he sees me, or the way he thinks of any excuse to leave the room as soon as I enter it...

I'm pretty sure he hates me.

“Edie, I'm in love with you.”

Crap. Double crap. Triple holy-futher-mucker.

Parker? In LOVE with me?

My jaw drops. I don't really have another plausible reaction; I'm too surprised. The thought doesn't even really click in my head. I never really thought about Park as more than a friend... I'd just assumed that he felt the same way I did.

I guess after that kiss, I shouldn't be surprised. He's a really good kisser.

But it's the thought that he's probably practiced with Maggie that makes me feel like I'm going to throw up.

“Parker...” I bite my lip. There's so many things going through my head at the moment: What can I say? I think I might like you too, but I have a boyfriend? I'm getting to the top of the List now, so I can't go out with a lower rank? Why have you not told me before?

None of which make the situation any easier.

He picks up on the awkwardness almost instantly. “It's fine. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you. I'm not stupid, Edie, I know you won't pick me over Levi.” He stands up quickly, smoothing out his shirt from where I'd accidentally wrinkled it.

“Park, wait-”

He shakes his head. “It's okay, Eds. Really. No big deal.”

I stand up. “No, it IS a big deal, Parker, I just...”

I just look at him. He's changed so much, it's not even like I'm looking at the real Parker. It's like a picture of him that's been photo-shopped; twisted and changed until you can just barely see what used to be there. He doesn't look like Parker anymore. I'm not so sure he is.

But the more I think about it, the more I think that maybe it isn't Parker who's changed.

He looks at me, with that look on his face. The look that says 'there's so much I want to tell you, but I'd better not'. I feel my heart sink with guilt. “Sorry. I think I'd better go.”

I don't know what to do, so I stupidly do the only thing I can think of.

I walk up to him and wrap my arms around his torso, pulling him into the tightest hug you can ever imagine. I bury my head in his chest and will the tears back from my eyes. They don't listen, and decide to spill anyway. I'm pretty sure Park doesn't care about his shirt that much, but I couldn't stop them if I tried.

He wraps his arms around me and rests his chin on top of my head. It's unnerving, how well I seem to fit there, in my best friend's arms.

I don't know why I'm crying. Maybe it has something to do with Levi – I don't even know what I'm feeling at the moment. Maybe it has to do with Parker's confession. Maybe I'm still in shock at catching him with Maggie. Whatever the reason, the tears just keep coming.

“Park, I-”

“Shh, Eds, you're okay. We're okay.”

I look up at him. Why me? The thought rings through my head, loud and clear. Why am I not with Parker?

“EDIE!”

I blink rapidly.

“Edie,” Anna muses, examining her fingernails, now painted a blood red. Irony. “You're spacing out again. What's up?”

Anna's the last person I'll tell about what's really going on. I want to talk to Maggie, to drag her from oblivion in the band geeks, where she now resides at lunch, and tell her everything. About how Levi had grabbed me, and how Parker had told me... what he told me, and how I'm not sure if this is what I want anymore.

But I can't, I realize as I glance back at Anna, who's waiting for me to say something. It would be social suicide. I'd never get back to the top of the List again. I'm not sure I want to totally burn bridges like that.

“Oh, just some crap with this loser,” I sneer, accidentally making eye contact with Parker across the room. He doesn't know I'm talking about him, so he lifts his hand in a small, discreet wave.

Anna notices. She raises an eyebrow. “That Parker guy?” She glances back at him. “He's pretty cute for a loser. I'd totally hook up with him.”

“W-What about Rhett?” I ask, shocked.

She rolls her eyes. “What he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?” She looks up. “Oh, hey, Levi.”

Damn. He's got to stop doing that.

I turn around and flash him a million-watt smile, just like the kind that Maggie coached me to use. I twirl my hair around my finger and put my other hand on his chest, tilting my head. “We've got to stop meeting like this, sexy.”

He smiles warmly and pecks me on the lips. “Hey, baby. Sorry about last night, by the way.” He sits down smoothly in my seat, and pulls me down onto his lap.

My eyes widen a fraction, but I don't let too much surprise through, because otherwise I'd have to tell Anna everything. And I can't do that. “What do you mean?”

He quirks an eyebrow. “Leaving you at the party? Rhett told me you got a ride home, anyway. Are we good?”

I blink again. I'd forgotten about that. “Oh, uh, yeah, my friend gave me a lift.” Parker. Once he realized that Levi had ditched me.

Levi smiles. “Cool. So, you going to check out the game tonight?”

I shrug, tracing patterns on his chest. “Maybe. Why, you want me there?”

“Of course, babe. You're my good luck charm.”

One of the girls at the table, Bridget, snorts. She flips her cropped red hair over she shoulder. “He tells that to every girl he dates.”

Anna elbows her in the stomach. “Oh, stop being bitter, Bridge. You're just jealous because my little brother traded up.”

“Am not!” she retorts, nibbling lightly on a piece of lettuce.

I awkwardly shift my weight on Levi's lap. I'm in an uncomfortable position at the moment, and I can feel my palms start to sweat. It occurs me that I'm probably the least... experienced person there. Bridget probably did whatever Levi wanted her to without so much as batting her eye. It's intimidating, because Levi could be comparing me to his exes in everything I do. I bet he's thinking about it right now.

I swallow hard. This isn't good.

Anna glances at me, as if she can smell my fear. I'm getting the feeling that maybe she can. “Don't worry, Edie, Levi never shuts up about you. You're not in any trouble.”

I glance at him, a blush spreading bright pink on his cheeks. “Well, I can't help it.”

Anna scoffs and takes a drink of her soda. “That's enough from you two lovebirds. I'm gonna barf.” She glances back at Parker, biting her lip in thought. “I think I'm going to go talk to that loser. You said his name is Parker, right, Edie?” She narrows her eyes. “What were you saying he did?”

I freeze, my arms around Levi's neck. Oh, crap, this is awkward. “He, uh... he said he had some crush on me. It's pathetic, really. I almost feel sorry for the guy.”

Anna smirks. I'm reminded of a lion, watching her prey. “Aw, I feel sorry for him. Maybe I should go... cheer him up, then?” She winks, pushing herself out of her seat.

I look to Levi to stop her, but he doesn't seem to care.

“Aren't you gonna do something?” I ask warily, glancing between Anna and Parker.

Levi scoffs. “My sister will do whatever she wants. I couldn't stop her if I tried.” He reaches up to brush some hair out of my eyes. “Besides, that bastard deserves it for fantasizing about my girl.”

I feel my stomach churn. He did more than fantasize, that's for sure. I'm not about to tell Levi that. “I guess. But what about Rhett?”

“He can go to hell.” Levi glances at me warily. “No offense.”

“None taken, I guess.” Actually, some taken. As much as Rhett gets on my nerves, he's still my stepbrother. I'm just not in the mood to argue with Levi, I guess.

I finally get up the courage to look at Parker. I mean, really look at him. He's standing against the wall of the cafeteria, chatting amiably with Anna. He doesn't seem to be interested in her – more like he's humoring her until she gets bored. He glances at me and meets my eyes.

There's some kind of emotion in them. I know what it is, even from here. My heart sinks.

Disappointment.

Suddenly Levi pulls my head down to his, planting a sloppy kiss on my lips. I blink at him in surprise, before cooperating, against my better judgment. His hands find their way up my back, discreetly, before I pull away, panting.

“What was that for?” I ask breathlessly, my eyes wide.

A growling sound escapes Levi's throat. “Dude's got to know what he's messing with. I was just showing him who's boss.”

And sure enough, as soon as I glance over, Parker's walking out the doors, hand-in-hand with Anna Smith.

This whole List thing is way, way more complicated than I ever thought it would be.