The Incomparable Edie Wells

“I can't believe you're still together,” Anna muses, tapping her blood red fingernails against her cheek.

I turn to look at her with slightly wide eyes. I certainly hadn't told her about that night of the ball – had Levi mentioned it to her? It's been more than a month – you would think I would quit being so worried about it. But every time I turn around, I see the expression on Anna's face as I tell her what her brother tried to do. Sometimes it's good, sympathetic; others, it's hateful.

I hope I never see it in real life.

“W-what do you mean?”

She raises an eyebrow. “It's Valentine's Day. Have you met my brother? He's not so great at making relationships last very long.” She looks me up and down. “You certainly have him whipped.”

I don't really know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, at this point.

Suddenly, a third, more timid voice joins the conversation. It's one I haven't heard in a while – one I'd recognize anywhere. My heart twinges a little when I hear it. It's not until that moment that I realize what a terrible person I've been.

“Edie?” Maggie asks quietly.

I turn to Anna quickly, biting my lip. “Hey, you go ahead. I'll text you about the party tonight, okay?”

Anna looks from me to Maggie skeptically. I can feel my blood run cold under her gaze, but soon enough she finds nothing interesting and relents. “Fine. Later, bitch.”

I'm only dimly aware that I'm holding my breath as Anna struts in the opposite direction, her hips swaying in a way that sends the group of freshmen standing nearby scattering, searching for cover while they gush about their brush with popularity. I feel another twinge – Maggie had been there two years ago, without a doubt.

Back when Parker was a nerd.

Back when Maggie was 'popular'.

Back when I was... well, me.

“Eds,” Maggie says quietly, rubbing the back of her neck. “Look, I know you're mad at me -”

I cut her off. “Why in the world would you think I was mad at you?”

“Because you haven't talked to me for weeks, Edie,” she says a little bitterly, folding her arms over her chest. “But that's not what I came to talk to you about.”

I narrow my eyes a little bit. “Well, what did you come to talk about?”

“I know about what happened with Parker.”

If I thought I was scared when Anna was around, I'm completely mistaken. I can feel my heart speed up. Okay, this is officially BAD. I was almost under the impression that Parker wouldn't tell anyone about what happened that night, but I guess I was wrong. I had been bracing myself for when someone confronted me about it, but... I honestly hadn't expected it to be Maggie.

“How could you do that to him?” she hissed, leaning towards me to keep the people walking by from listening in. “That boy's been in love with you for years, Edie. Years. Do you know how long he's told me about how in love with you he is? Since eighth grade.” She shakes her head in disbelief and cuts me off as I'm about to say something. “You do know I've liked him longer than that, right?”

I bite my lip. Maggie? Likes Parker? I can feel a knot forming in my stomach. No, it's not a knot, it's bile. I'm the worst person on the planet. Here I thought that Maggie... that that night with Parker had meant nothing to her. He'd just thrown her aside like a piece of trash.

Because of me.

Fuck, I'm going to hell.

My jaw drops. “Wha – Mags, you never told me -”

“Don't call me that,” she snaps, pounding her fist against the locker next to mine. “I told you that a million times, but you never cared because Levi was around. Nothing else mattered to you but Parker and Levi, and never in that order.” She shakes her head again. “You know what really pisses me off?”

When she doesn't automatically continue, I softly prompt her. “What?”

“Girls like you.”

“For three years you wanted to be a girl like me,” I snarl, putting my hands on my hips the way Riley does when she's mad at Grace for doing something she shouldn't have. “Or have you forgotten that while you were on your moral journey to righteousness?”

“Yeah, but I was stupid enough to think it wouldn't change you,” she retorted. “'Oh, my sweet best friend Edie, everyone loves her. She'd make a perfect Top Fifty. We both would, and be popular our senior years.' Ha! What a joke!” She slams her palm on the locker again. “God, I tried to tell Parker he was over his head on this one, but would he listen to me? Sweet li'l old me who's been there when you broke his heart? Nope!”

I clench my teeth together, balling my hands into fists. “I don't see how this is any of your business, Margaret.”

She narrows her eyes. “It becomes my business when the guy I've been crazy about for years comes to my door in the middle of the night, sobbing about how you love Levi so much better than him. What am I supposed to tell him? That she'll come around, that she doesn't know what she wants?” Her own hand is curled up into a fist. “I can't lie to him like that. Because all you want is to live your perfect little fake life, being popular while your perfect little boyfriend treats you like a punching bag.” She glares at me beneath her choppy bangs. “I can't lie to him, Edie. I won't.”

It feels like someone's punched me in the stomach. I suck in my breath, but I don't say anything right away. I can't make this situation any worse. Think about how bad it would make me look. I can't believe that Parker would put Maggie through that – though, I can't help but wonder if this whole thing with me is all in my head. Maybe he doesn't really mean it.

But then I think of New Year's Eve... You don't touch someone like that if you don't care about them.

“You don't know what I feel,” I say slowly, quietly.

Maggie's face contorts into anger. “I don't, huh? Then why don't you enlighten me, O wise one?” She laughs, a bitter, humorless laugh. “If you really loved Parker, you'd be with him. Or, even better, let him be with someone who can love him back. Because let's face it, that's not you.” She's so angry at this point, I can see her whole body shaking. Maggie never gets this mad, about anything. “You only care about yourself, and that stupid List.”

I can feel my heart start to beat a little bit faster and the blood starts to run hot through my veins. I'm not one to get angry very fast, but I'm not about to let Maggie sit here and push my buttons until I explode in frustration.

“The List isn't stupid!” I roar, loud enough to catch the attention of passers-by for a few seconds before returning to their conversations. “You were the one who followed it every week, not me!” I point an accusing finger at her chest. “You're just jealous because I'm a high rank and you're not!”

Maggie's lip curls into a snarl. “You have no fucking idea what you're talking about, Edie. You were always like that. In your own little Levi bubble.” She makes a sphere shape with her hands. “Wake up and smell the roses. You're nothing. Nada.” She takes a step closer to me, angling her head up at me for the first time, since I'm wearing heels. “People may look up to you for a few hours, but once you're out of sight, they don't care about you. You think everyone loves you, but you're just one of Anna Smith's clones – bitchy, stupid, and self-absorbed.”

“How the hell would you know?!” I hiss, narrowing my eyes down at her.

She's silent for a moment, staring at me intently. “Tell me, have you ever thought about who writes the List?”

My eyes widen for a second, but I don't back away. “It doesn't matter. They're anonymous and impartial.”

“That's what they all say,” she snaps, pointing her own finger at me. “If you knew a damn thing about who writes that List, you wouldn't be here. Because you don't deserve it.”

I let out a noise somewhere between a snort and a growl. “I don't deserve it? Oh, and you do?” I shake my head, laughing. “What are you? Some wannabe that has to ride on my coattails, just to get a glimpse of being on the Top Ten. If I'm nothing, you don't even exist.” I lower my voice. “Just because I have Parker, and you don't, doesn't give you the right to tell me what I do and don't deserve, Margaret. You're just as controlling as you've always been.”

She grits her teeth, her lips curled back. “You don't have anyone. Don't underestimate me, Edith. You have no fucking idea what I'm capable of.”

I narrow my eyes and slam my locker shut. “I've got a pretty damn good idea.”

I turn and walk away, following in the same direction that Anna traveled just a few minutes ago. I feel like there's a twenty-pound animal sitting on my chest – I can't breathe. It hurts to inhale, and when I try to exhale I have to bite back the tears that are threatening to spill over. I shouldn't be crying over this. I mean, I've argued with Rhett, and Parker, and Levi. No one has any faith in me – so why should I be surprised that Maggie feels the same way?

“Hey, everyone, look who it is!” Maggie shouts after me just as I'm about to turn the corner. “The fucking incomparable Edie Wells!”

Every single eye in the hallway turns to look at me.

But I've never felt so alone.