Colder Than My Heart

Alex

Honestly, ‘stoked’ couldn’t even describe how I was feeling at this point in tour.

“You are amazing San Francisco,” I yelled into the microphone as Rian prolonged a drum fill and the crowd erupted into screams and cheers. “We’ve been All Time Low thank you!” I yelled one last time before launching the pick I had clenched in my fist into the crowd and Rian hit one last cymbal. With that a smile washed over my face as my feet lead my off stage. Jack swung backwards, taking a stick from Rian and throwing it into the crowd. I threw my head back and laughed to myself, the feeling of being back on Warped was glorious. Rian made his way from behind the kit and walked behind Jack to the side of the stage. I followed, placing an aching hand on Jack’s wet shoulder as I passed and Zack followed behind me.

“You did amazing, Sugar,” Lisa, my girlfriend, commented as I made my way to her. I lazily rested my hands on her sides and quickly pecked her lips before pulling away and simply smiling.

“That was awesome,” Jack beamed as he finally fled the stage, towel flung over his shoulder.

“Yes it was. I’m tired, where’s my girlfriend?” Rian asked letting his eyes wander through the people backstage.

“Back at the bus,” the small blond in my grasp informed him. I smiled, on a total high from the whole experience, and pressed my lips to her temple.

“Sweet, well I’m gonna go track her down,” he began picking up a water bottle from a pack of six that had been opened on top of a cooler. “Alex, wanna meet at the side of the We the Kings set?” He added unscrewing the cap.

“Sure. Jack, Zack, you in?” I asked exchanging glances between the two.

“Sure, I don’t I was actually thinking of dropping in on The Devil Wears Prada,” Jack sighed tucking his hands into the pockets on the front of his jeans.

“Don’t bullshit me Jack, we know you’d be two creeped out to stick around more than five minutes,” I chuckled causing Zack to do the same.

“Fuck off,” he laughed, rolling his eyes before swiping a bottle up from the same place Rian had.

“Well I’m all for it,” Zack shrugged looking around at the rest of us.

“Awesome,” I commented barely above a mumble. Straight after, Rian shifted on his feet and paced through the backstage area. Zack and Jack also set off in the same direction as Rian, however kept a slow pace and casually talked as they walked.

“So how do you like being back on Warped?” Lisa asked softly as I wrapped my arms around her from behind. I could feel my lips pull back just at the mention of the word as a grin formed on my face.

“I adore it,” was my response as I rested my cheek against hers. At that point in time, I didn’t feel like I could be any happier. Nor did I know that I could be.

Sarah

I sighed to myself before folding the last shirt in the pile and placing it on top of the others. I bit down on my bottom lip and looked down at the suitcase still open in front of me. I’d tried to prolong the event by busying myself but sadly I couldn’t quite rid myself of the thought. Of course, leaving for Warped was inevitable. This wasn’t like the first time we’d been invited to Warped. My band had been invited two years ago as well, but I’d begged him and the band to not sign us up. They all thought I was crazy for turning down the invitation but it was just something I was terrified of doing. After successfully convincing our tour manager, Andy, and the rest of my band mates we declined the invitation and that was the last we’d heard.

A year later we were sent an almost identical invitation asking if we could make it to the dates this year. Everyone was thrilled about the news, apart from me and once again I’d convinced them to say ‘no’. A lot of the band resented me for keeping them from such a big event, Andy too, but it was a big deal for me, one that I wasn’t ready to pursue. Once again, that was the last we’d heard.

This year we’d received yet another invitation. Simply seeing the envelope was enough to make me voice my firm opinion but this time Andrew was less willing to cooperate. He’d told me how he knew exactly what I was going to say but he didn’t care. I’d argued that we’d already arranged alternative dates at the beginning of the summer but he fought me once again. He told me he knew about our prior agreements and he’d managed to negotiate with the people running Warped and they were willing to allow us to join a few dates into the tour. Lacking a good point for argument I’d resorted to my previous antic: pleading. Unfortunately he was a hundred per cent against whatever claim I made and told us he’d already signed us up. Whereas the other band members were thrilled, I was far from it.

It wasn’t so much that I was a selfish bitch who demanded whatever; it was more of a psychological problem. You see, ever since this one incident in middle school I’d been unbelievably self-conscious. My best friend had pressured me into singing in front of her, so I did. I was reluctant at first but I picked up a sheet of lyrics that I’d written and began to sing. At the time I was so proud of the lyrics and when I finished all she did was look at me. I asked what she thought and she told me I was good, the next day she was telling everyone about how much I sucked and people laughed, it was humiliating. I know I should probably get over things that happened in the past but ever since then my self-esteem has been ruined, along with my confidence and I’ve needed to take things in baby steps.

Warped was a big deal, it wasn’t like any other concert. I’ve been able to perform in front of reasonably sized crowds but this was a festival I was faced with. Not everyone in the crowds was going to be a fan of ours, a majority won’t have even heard of us before and that was a big issue to me. People could hate our music, just leave the audience and we could be left with nothing. Our reputation would be ruined and everything we’d worked so hard for could be lost. I’d rather be playing shows where people actually listened to us before hand and liked what we did than be faced with the unknown.

I let out a sigh and shut the case, smoothly zipping up the side before standing and making my way to the window. I didn’t feel like things were going to look up. Nor did I know that things definitely would.