Colder Than My Heart

Lisa woke to a soft sigh next to her. She smiled to herself at the soft sound of breathing from beside her. Turning over she looked at the shut eyes of the man she’d learn to love more than anything else. She wrapped her arms around him, gently twirling her fingers in the short hair at the back of his neck.

Since leaving Alex to travel the country Lisa found herself becoming more and more attached to the body beside her. She leaned forward, puckered her lips and planted kisses along his broad jaw line. Whining in his slumber, he turned over leaving his bare back exposed to her. She giggled and wrapped her arms around his slender form.

“Bazzie,” she whispered into his ear waking him from his dreams. Sebastian’s eyes opened instantly before turning his face to see Lisa smiling down at him. He tilted his head upwards, licking the side of her face and causing her to squeal a little before retreating to the other side of the bed. At this he sprung to his legs, scuttling over and determinedly licked every inch of her face he could reach whilst she brought her arms up to shield herself. “Baz! No!” She yelped through her laughter as she lightly shoved the pup to the other end of the bed.

Sebastian’s ears stood up at right angles to his skull as he stared at Lisa. Brushing off her actions however he skipped from the bed and trotted over to the door, turning to face Lisa before sitting down, kindly asking to be let outside. Lisa felt her heart flutter at the small action before standing up and making her way to open the door.

“You’re such a gentleman Bazzie,” she complemented quietly before opening the door and watching him skip down the stairs with a smile on her face. Lisa made her way to the bed she had so recently retreated and perched herself on the edge before grabbing the phone on the night stand. Crossing her legs she pressed the tiny button to turn the device on and waited for any new text messages to spring up. It took a few seconds but finally small vibrations shook her palm and a small animation of an envelope flashed across her screen.

3 new messages.

As she tilted her head her blonde hair rolled in waves across her shoulder. Her eyes glanced across the screen simply looking for a contact beginning with ‘A’. Seeing nothing she mentally cursed and let out a low sigh. It had been too long since Alex had last contacted her, not that she expected any different. She would tweet him regularly and only rarely receive a reply, barely any of her texts were answered and her calls were pretty much in vain. But she still tried, still held on to the small amount of hope she had. But right now this was the beginning of her giving up.

A quiet knock echoing through the open door caused her head to turn to the open gateway. Slowly she stood again and followed the direction of the noise. Reaching the top of the staircase she looked down, trying to make out the figure behind the frosted glass but the body was side on, obscuring her view. Lisa skipped down the stairs and opened the door revealing Max stood before her. His head turned at the sound of the latch and instantly smiled when he looked down at the petite girl. Almost instantly her face blushed red and a small gasp escaped her lips.

“I’m so sorry! I just woke up,” she explained gesturing to her attire of a grey t shirt and small turquoise pyjama shorts. “You come inside, I’ll go and change,” she breathed frantically causing Max to let out a small chuckle.

“It’s fine, you don’t have to worry about me,” he held a hand up and shook his head. “But I’m guessing that means you didn’t get my message in time?” He questioned glancing from the device she had absently carried in her hand without knowing.

“Huh?” Lisa replied before looking to her palm and taking in the names on the messages. Between the two frantic and excitable messages Kara had sent her read Max’s name accompanied by a smiling face.

‘I have the day off work and wanted to spend it with you. Hope you don’t mind the short-notice! Max x.

“Oh!” Lisa replied with eyebrows raised causing Max to let out a nervous chuckle. His hand came up to rub the back of his neck as the two made eye contact.

“I mean it doesn’t matter if you don’t want to of course. I’ll go home,” he offered to which Lisa frowned.

“No! Don’t you dare,” she warned before brightening up with a grin spreading across her dainty features. “Come in,” she replied letting the door swing open.

Sarah gasped as two hands clamped over her eyes. She felt panic bubble slightly in the pit of her stomach and carefully brought her hands up to pull the larger masculine pair away. She did so with ease and held them in front of her. Pale palms, tan arms, long fingers, unfamiliar. She let the arms drop around her sides and turned to come face-to-face with Jack. She grinned up at his features which were adorning a smile which touched his eyes.

“Jack,” she breathed and relaxed the tension in her body.

“Hey there Sarah,” he greeted, wrapping her in a hug before she could decline, not that she would anyway.

“I’ve not had a real chance to speak with you recently,” Sarah commented as the two pulled away. A smiled graced Jack’s features as he pulled back from the slightly shorter girl.

“Well what are your plans for the day?” He asked with hands on Sarah’s shoulders and his head tilted to the side.

“Well Alex pretty much demanded I spent the day off hanging out,” she chuckled. Jack scoffed, snaking his arm around her shoulder and walking back in the direction of the buses the way the two were originally heading.

“Tough shit! You were my friend first so I get to choose who you hang out with or not,” he feigned a serious tone causing Sarah to bubble up with laughter.

“Actually if you wanna play like that I met Jersey and Nick first, maybe you should ask them permission first,” Sarah replied smartly earning a playful glare and a shove from Jack.

Alex watched through the window of his bus as Jack laughed along with Sarah and led her towards her van. His eyes aimlessly followed them as she slid the door back and the two hopped into the back. A sigh escaped his lips and he picked up the glass of orange juice up to sip on it as thoughts flooded his mind. Alex took the glass from his lips and went to sit down in the seat nearest to him. He took once last glimpse out the window just as the latch on the door sealed it shut once more. His eyes dropped to the phone sat on the table before him and he picked it up to see any new messages he had.

The phone unlocked and one new message displayed on the menu. He felt slightly guilty as his girlfriend’s name flashed across the screen. Opening the message his eyes carefully scanned the words written in grey.

Hey Alex, just checking up on you. I miss you.

His guilt hit him even harder than before. The text was dated from late the night before, around the time he’d been talking to Sarah. Lisa would always leave him numerous ‘x’s at the end of her messages. They were normally longer explaining various events happening in her day. His finger quickly found the ‘cal’ button right before he pressed the device to his ear and waiting for the ringing tone to cease.

“Hang on, I need to take this real quick,” Alex heard Lisa speak in the background after the third ring. “Hello?” She asked into the phone obviously not looking at the caller ID.

“Hey Baby,” Alex cooed meekly into the receiver.

“Oh,” Lisa replied simply. “Hey Alex,” she added sounding almost disappointed or hurt. He could understand the hurt, he hadn’t called her in days and it must have been frustrating to be at his house looking after his things without so much as a word on what he was doing.

“How’s everything going? Are you okay?” Alex asked as he leaned back in his seat and began to stare at the roof of the bus.

“Yeah things are good,” was her simple reply. Alex began to stroke the stubble on his upper lip as the sinking in his chest took a greater wave of control over him.

“Listen Lisa,” he began as she shifted her weight on the other end of the line. “I’m really sorry I haven’t called. Things have been so hectic. I really do hope you’re okay,” he apologised. He’d mistaken her tone for hurt, in reality, she didn’t know what to say to him anymore. With each day that passed she didn’t seem to care as much she used to but Alex still tried to reason. And well, what he’d said wasn’t a complete lie.

“No, it’s fine Alex. You’re busy, I understand,” she nodded.

“Are you sure?” Alex asked cautiously.

“Yeah,” Lisa mumbled as her eyes dropped to the floor and suddenly a silence enveloped them both. Turning to see Max looking admiringly around the house she let out a low sigh. “Alex, I kind of have to go. I have people over,” Lisa pleaded into the receiver.

“Oh,” Alex began. “Okay,” he nodded. “Well, I’ll call you again soon. I promise to call you soon,” he attempted to assure her. Lisa simply shook her head while running her slender fingers through her long hair.

“Yeah,” she hollowly agreed. In reality Lisa knew he wouldn’t call her back. She knew the promise he made was just as empty as the others he would make every time they toured.

“I love you baby,” he mumbled as his fingers traced the key around his neck. Despite hearing the phrase so many times before something about hearing it now caused her throat to constrict and tears to prickle her eyes.

“Yeah,” she began trying to find the energy somewhere in her to say it back. “You too,” was all she could reply. As she hung up the phone and the dial rang through Alex’s ears both of them wondered what had happened to them lately. Lisa hoped Alex wouldn’t have noticed she couldn’t choke out those three words, but he had. He noticed and chose to ignore it, letting Lisa work things out for herself rather than pester her.

Lisa furiously rubbed her hands over her eyes trying her hardest to wipe away any streaks down her face before turning back to her company and forcing her best smile.

“You all done?” Max asked turning back to her. At the sound of his voice her throat loosened and a smile natural found its way to her lips. “Yeah. I am.”