I Want to Hold You, for Now and Forever

St Elmo’s Fire:

"Someday, when we both reminisce we'll both say, 'There wasn't too much we missed,' and through the tears we'll smile when we recall we had it all for just a moment."

“Coooome on! Hurryyy up!” I didn’t even have a chance to get a t shirt on before Jimmy was dragging me out of my room. I was being dragged through the halls with jeans and a bra on; it was a little bit embarrassing to say the least especially when he pulled me through the front doors of the hotel

“Jimmy!” I whined as our group of friends laughed and he turned around to face me as I crossed my arms over my chest

“My bad” He grinned “I didn’t realise”

“How could you not see that I didn’t have a shirt on you douche”

“I’m way too excited. You look fine, lets go” He over exaggerated with his hands in the air and I rolled my eyes

“Here ya go” Brian handed me the shirt I had decided to wear before Jimmy got ahead of himself and winked at me.

“Pervert” I muttered as he put his arm around my neck and lit us both a cigarette

“Why are you so excited anyway?” Beci asked from beside Matt

“Because I have mental issues!” We all laughed at his reply and got in the van with Jimmy jumping around excited. We weren’t even doing anything interesting, he just really wanted to know where we grew up but I don’t think he nor the others quite anticipated the 2 hour journey we had to take to get where I grew up. Turning on the engine, I turned in my seat to look at them

“You do know it takes around 2 hours to get to Peterborough, right?” I got a bunch of groans “You wanted to go; you have no right to moan!”

“Are we going to see a soccer game?” Zacky asked

“Football game” I corrected it, the British hated it being called soccer, its football! “Yes we are, I’ve got to go see some family whilst I’m there too so I’m going to wish you good luck” I turned around and began the journey

“Good luck? Erm… Why?” Johnny looked confused

“Most of them are stuck up and snooty” Beci answered for me as I joined the M5

“Seriously?” Brian turned to ask me

“Yeah” I chuckled “You’ll get seriously looked down on”

“Why?”

“Tattoos, piercings, rock band, American. Shall I continue?”

“So because we have or are all those things, they won’t like us?”

“Yeah, British people seriously don’t like us Americans all that much” Dani informed him

“That’s a bit stuck up” Jimmy scrunched his face before a look came over his face

“Oh no, Jimmy don’t even think about it” I warned him “We get your weirdness and we love you for it but they wont, they’ll take you seriously”

“But you said your Mom wouldn’t like us that much” Brian added

“No I didn’t, I said she didn’t really like tattoos or piercings”

“Common theme with your family” he muttered and I gave him the look that said ‘What the fuck?’ and he shrugged

“They’re just extremely traditional, like marriage before children, women stay home and men go work. Think we’re fucked up just wait till you meet them” I chuckled

Most of the trip consisted of Jimmy jumping all over the place, trying to see if he could get Johnny over his head whilst sitting down and also if he could piss out of the window. He mainly just made us piss our pants laughing, the guy is crazy and fucking talented in so many ways but I really wouldn’t want him any other way he just made the world that much better to live in and without him, we’re lost.

“How long now?” Zacky smacked his head against the window

“Well we’re at the East of England Showground now so we’re basically there”

Jimmy screamed making everyone jumped out of their skins “Praise the Lord!”

“Where to first I asked them?”

“Let’s get the worst over with” Matt said with the rest nodding their heads

“Ahhh Auntie Jude it is then”

“Ohh mannn” Beci groaned

“What?” Matt looked at her with a grin

“You’re going to want to burn your skin afterwards”

“That bad?”

“Worse”

I drove toward her house, without calling ahead, what’s the point? She’s always there. Why did I agree to go along with this? Oh yeah, because Jimmy begged and begged then pouted for extra effect and it worked.

I pulled up outside of her huge house, one as a child I remember loving because of the garden; I used to call it the ‘secret garden’ because every time I would go there something would be added or changed, I thought it was so magical. She didn’t like children all too much though which sucked but hey least I got to annoy her by accidently ripping out a flower I thought was a weed.

We all got out and walked up to the front door. With a deep release of breath, I knocked on the door

“This place is huge” Charl commented before the door opened

“Oh my good God!” the woman screamed before pulling me into a suffocating hug

“Hi Auntie Jude” I squeaked out

“Let her go dear” My Uncle Pete told her and she did before he too gave me a short embrace

“Come in, come in. I’ll make some tea” She informed us as Jimmy snickered before adding

“Oh the British tickle me”

Luckily the weather was nice enough to sit out in today so whilst my Uncle led us outside, my Aunt made some drinks and snacks. We all took our seats as I sat next to Brian

“I loved this garden as a kid; I nicknamed it the secret garden because it was so huge you could get lost in it”

“It’s beautiful” he smiled at me

“So what have you been doing with yourself Chloe?” My uncle asked as my Aunt started putting out a spread, she never ceased to amaze me. It was like the feeding of the 500

“Just at University still, working here and there”

“Still studying History?” I nodded in reply

“So have you met up with your cousin in Santa Barbara yet?” My Aunt asked

“Nope” I replied popping the ‘p’

“And why not?”

“Because I’ve met her once in my life that would just be weird” I screwed my face up

“Don’t do that Dear, you look stupid. She’s your cousin, it wouldn’t be weird”

The others snickered at her telling me off and I rolled my eyes, mentally slapping them

“Anything new?” I asked them both

“Not really, I’m really into my floristry at the moment though so it keeps me busy enough”

“Nice”

“How are your mother and father?”

“They’re both great, I haven’t seen Dad in a while but I spoke to him the other night and he’s really excited to see me”

“I bet, he was worried sick about you when you left like that” Her eyes told me I was about to get a telling off “You shouldn’t have just upped and left, it was selfish”

“I didn’t, he knew I was going to leave”

“But he didn’t know you were staying over there Chloe” She snapped and the others just watched on

“When I told everyone I was leaving, it wasn’t a ‘Oh but I’m coming back in two weeks’ kind of thing” I argued back

“Please child, you can’t stick to anything, you constantly change your mind, you don’t know what you want, I’m surprised your still going to Uni” Nice, I love cheap shots

“No I don’t, believe it or not, I did grow up. I’m not the stupid child you still think I am” I glared at her and Brian gripped my thigh

“So you didn’t do anything stupid whilst you were over there?” She raised her eyebrow and I knew she knew

“Please stop arguing, there’s no need” My Uncle butted in

“I’m trying to make a point Pete”

“Why the fuck must you always put me down?” I asked her

“Because if I didn’t, then you’d turn out just like your Mother” She spat at me and Beci choked on her drink

“Excuse me?” I stood up bringing Brian with me; I think that caught him off guard cause he looked like a dear caught in headlights

“You heard me, your mother never knew what she wanted either that’s why she upped and left your father for another man, only to be ditched by him and leave you with nothing”

“Yeah? And where the fuck was you then? When we needed you, you fucking bailed”

“Sweetie, I have no loyalty to your mother”

“Yeah, you have no loyalty to your family full stop”

“How dare you, you know that’s not true”

“Oh please, the only time you talk to any of us is to brag about what you have, like we’re the peasants and you, your royal highness needs to get the fuck off your pedal stool, you really aren’t that great. I can’t believe Pete’s stayed married to you all these years"

“Okay, now stop” Uncle Pete ordered

“You think the family doesn’t know about your drunken marriage to a wannabe rock star Sweetheart?”

“Do I give a fuck what they think? I mean after you, look at Auntie Leanne whoring it around to anyone with a big enough dick and you think what I’ve done is unacceptable?” I could hear the others laughing including my Uncle

“Don’t you dare speak about her like that!”

“No but your more than willing to talk about me like that, like I’m some kind of wild child that didn’t have a good enough upbringing so you blame my Mum but you never blame Dad for any of this, do you? You knew he wasn’t there yet it was all Mums fault so you cast all of us out”

“That’s not true”

“Oh I’m sorry, I forgot about the Christmas cards we got every 4 years or when I would reach out to you”

“We tried”

“No you didn’t, you’ve always looked down on us because we never had money but that’s okay, I’m going to have the last laugh, you watch me. All I’ve ever done is prove you wrong so I’m not going to stop now and by the way, a ‘wannabe rock star’? Motherfucker this is Avenged fucking Sevenfold, they were known enough for Metallica and Iron Maiden to want them to open for them and good enough to get a top 10 album, they are the best fucking band to walk the Earth, weird but the fucking best, got it? Pete it was nice seeing you but we’ve overstayed our welcome”

I got up and stormed out the house, getting into the van with a bang as the others followed

“That was fucking… Wow” Matt chuckled

“I think it went surprisingly well” My voice was a bit raspy from the shouting match

“Weird but the fucking best?” Jen laughed

“It’s true” I stuck my tongue out and Brian kissed me, taking me by surprise

“Want to go back in her house and have a quickie in the bathroom” he grinned and we laughed

“I knew that was you guys last night!” Jason shouted and a blush rose to my cheeks

“Auntie Re’s” Beci ordered me looking a bit traumatised

“Okay” I smiled before dialling her number

“Is it going to be a repeat?” Matt Berry asked

“Nah, she’s the nice one”

“No answer” I pouted

We all decided to go for lunch before we went to my other Aunts house, I have 5 other Aunts but fuck am I going to visit them all, they all have the same view as my Auntie Jude, I’m a disappointment so would I go and brag about that fact.

Once lunch was over I called again and she was in, she was so excited about my visit that she called my cousins over to come and see me, I loved my Auntie Re Re, she was the absolute best, to say I adored her would be an understatement.

I jumped on Jimmy’s back sharing his excitement all of a sudden; she was one family member that hurt me to leave when we left Peterborough but she still remained a big part of our family.

“Giddy up cowboy!” I slapped his butt making him go faster which in return he couldn’t stop when I said that was her door and we went straight into it, the others thought it was hysterical especially as my Aunt opened the door and joined in

“Auntie Re Re!” I jumped on her, hugging her as tight as I could

“Hello sweetheart, oh my have you grown” she smiled

“You look as beautiful as ever” Jimmy said and bowed in front of her and she laughed

“Thank you”

“Jimmy, you’ve never met her”

“I’m just saying” he shrugged

“I have no idea how I’m going to fit you all in but come in anyway” She flashed a toothy grin and we obeyed her command. I walked into the living room where I was met with my cousins Matt and Andy… Yes I know what your thinking, not another fucking Matt; hey it’s obviously a popular name.

“How the hell are you doing Kid?!” Matt hugged me before being swept up by Andy

“Long time stranger! Congratulations is in order I hear”

“Yeah, this is Brian” They did the stupid manly hug, idiots, I still don’t get it.

“Welcome to the family, Son” My Aunt hugged him

“Yeah, I guess so” Brian scratched the back of his neck

“They’re a thousand times nicer than Auntie Jude, Bri” Everyone groaned including my cousins and Aunt

“Oh dear, we apologise” She laughed “We’re not all that bad”

“I’m Jimmy!” He introduced himself so eloquently too; he was jumping up and down

“This is Jimmy; he’s a ‘tard”

“I just want a goddamn hug” and pulled my Aunt in for a hug, the others did the same as Jimmy reluctantly let go

“So what you been doing apart from getting married?” My cousin Matt asked

“Not much just Uni and work about it really”

“How about you Beci?”

“Same really” She grinned as she put her head on my Aunts shoulder

“So you’re not married or pregnant?”

“Why do people keep asking me that?” she asked with a pout

“If one of you two is causing trouble so is the other” Andy chuckled as Beci stuck her tongue out at him

“So what about you guys?” I asked

They told us everything that was going on, how their kids were doing and that my Aunt was going to retired soon, which was weird to hear, the woman was a hard worker but I guess it was her time to enjoy herself

“Means you can come visit Auntie Re” Jimmy told her, nope, he didn’t ask, he told her.

“I couldn’t afford that, dear”

“Well you can stay with Brian and Johnny will pay for you to come over” He grinned as we laughed

“So what do you boys do for a living?” She asked them

“We’re in a Heavy Metal band” Matt as the natural leader that he is, spoke up

“What are you called?” Andy quizzed

“Avenged Sevenfold”

“A biblical reference?” My Aunt looked extremely amused “Somehow I doubt you’re religious”

“Well there’s a passage in the bible that says…” Matt was cut off by Auntie Re

“It says ‘God marked him so that none would kill him on account of his sin; the man who dared to kill Cain would suffer "vengeance seven times over’”

“How did you know that?” Zacky asked her

“I’m God, I know everything” she laughed and we couldn’t help to join in

“Now we know where Chloe gets her sense of humour” Johnny spoke up

Couple hours later and we were ready to leave, even if it was reluctant, but I did promise to take them to see a football game where my hometown team Peterborough United were playing a pre-season game against Newcastle United. On the way to London Road, where the pitch was, I showed them some of the places I used to go as a kid, told them about people I grew up with and where I used to live before leaving this crazy place when I was 8 years old. Some of the memories I wished I didn’t remember and others brought a huge smile to my face. I remembered why I loved this place so much but I also remember why I’m glad we left, I knew if we didn’t, I would have been stuck here and I wouldn’t know the amazing people I’m currently sat in a van with. People who wanted to know about every detail of mine and Beci’s life before we knew them and that in itself left me speechless.

Peterborough ended up losing but it was still an amazing game, the atmosphere was incredible just as it always was. I remember coming to these games as a child, I used to scream that much that I couldn’t talk for days afterwards. Peterborough Fans have to be right up there with Avenged Sevenfold fans, they go through everything together; the tears, the triumphs and the tragedies.

Everyone was tired once we got into the van and Beci said she’d drive home but i told her to get some sleep because tomorrow, we had a big day ahead of us especially if Jimmy’s as hyper as he was today. By the time we arrived back it was nearly midnight and everyone went to bed to get some rest. I changed and got into bed, snuggling up to Brian

“It felt amazing when you stuck up for us” His random outburst made me smile

“Why wouldn’t i?”

“I don’t know but I loved it that you did, especially with a family member” He kissed my forehead

“I love you Brian, I would kill to protect you and die to save you. You’re my family now too” I leaned on my elbow and he brushed some of the hair out of my face before pulling me into a heated kiss, he didn’t need to tell me he loved me, the kiss said it all.

The next morning I awoke to a loud banging on the door and I rolled over, getting up to answer it, laughing at Brians snore face as I did

“Let’s go get fucking wrecked” Zacky hugged me before he and Jimmy entered the room and they too laughed at Brian’s face

“Its 10.30am”

“And?” Jimmy looked at me as if I was disfigured

“I know, what am I thinking? Hold on” I jumped on Brian “Wake up!” He jumped up that fast that I fell off the bed, leaving Zacky and Jimmy in hysterics

“What the fuck?” He asked huskily, ruffling his hair

“Oww, I’m okay” I said before standing up “Lets get drunk!”

Zacky and Jimmy joined in and Brian rolled his eyes before pulling me on the bed, where the boys had taken a seat

“Where are we going today anyway?” Sleep was still evident in his voice

“Well where do you want to go?”

“Where’d you hang out as a kid?” Zacky asked

“At the park” I shrugged

“Is the bush there?” Brian looked at me before I groaned and regretted telling him about where I lost my virginity

“Yes”

“What bush? A secret bush?” Jimmy grinned

“The bush where I lost my virginity, think I could find it if I looked hard enough?” They all burst out laughing at my expense

“I think that boat has long sailed baby” Brian kissed my head

“Bitch” I muttered “Let’s get ready and we’ll go, are the others up?”

“Yeah we woke them all up before you, thought we’d let you have longer cause we all fell asleep whilst you drove” Zacky explained

“How courteous of you” I smirked before shooing them out the room.

We were all dressed and ready outside the van within an hour, we decided to go to the shop, get the necessities like the alcohol we drank as a kid and food that we were going to eat at my Mums before getting wrecked for the rest of the day.

My Mum was pleasantly surprised when we turned up, she loved the company and was more than happy to cook the food but Matt and Brian told her to sit down and eat with us whilst they cooked. She loved it.

Once we arrived at the park, I half jogged in front of everyone who I’m sure were all looking weird at me before I stopped at a bushed area and Beci burst out laughing

“This is the bush” I looked at Brian and he raised his eyebrow before joining in with the laughter that no one but Brian, Beci, Jimmy and Zacky got “Happy?”

“More than you’ll ever know but I still don’t think your gonna find it” by this point Beci was in tears

“You thought you could find it?”

“It was worth a try!” I returned

“Find what?” Matt asked

“My virginity” I muttered before walking off to the slightly wooded part at the other end of the park, bringing a trail of laughter with me.

We sat down and opened the alcohol we brought, we were all happy and content just talking about old times when we were young

“God, we’ve witnessed so many fights in this park” I shook my head

“Oh God yeah, like when the schools would just come down to fight? The people we hung around with got jumped by a ‘rival’ gang, it was ridiculous” Beci looked at me with a smile

“And the names they would make up for these gangs were even funnier. At any one point on a Friday or Saturday, there were probably 40 of us down here, the police were present as always” I laughed

“Yep, the rule was if you wanted to get drunk you had to do it before 9pm otherwise you’d get caught” Beci smirked

“So you guys were rebels then” Johnny laughed

“I wasn’t” She pouted “Chloe was”

“No I wasn’t!”

“Yes, you were having drunken sex in a bush and I was swaying drunkenly on the steps of the bandstand” Everyone laughed at Beci’s comment

“Shut it, mouth”

“Or you were getting done for drunken disorderly”

“Your making me sound like an alcoholic!” I pushed her playfully

“I wouldn’t be surprised” she laughed

“You’re just mean! We had fun down here” We reminisced with them a bit longer before Charl spoke up

“We go home in 2 days; can you believe how quick these two weeks have gone?”

“I know, it’s flown by” Jason shook his head before looking at me and Beci “You two looking forward to going back?”

“Going to miss it like hell back here” Beci replied and I nodded

“I almost don’t want to go back” I admitted before I received some looks “But I do! Of course I want to go back; I’d miss you fuckheads too much”

“Good, cause we would have dragged you back anyhow” Jimmy said matter of factly

“Thanks Jimbo, it’s nice to now I’m loved”

“You are” Brian kissed the side of my mouth; i loved it when he kissed me there. I reckon we might just be creating new memories in a new bush later. I just hope I don’t get poked by anything other than Brian though.

“Can you believe how much has changed in the past few months?” Jen asked no one in particular but everyone agreed.

In the past few months, bonds have been made that will last a lifetime and memories made that no one could forget but what’s next for us? We don’t know, tomorrow is always going to be a mystery and I’m sure as hell only going to live for today. With Brian and my best friends by my side, I know I’m going to be okay though and whatever’s thrown our way, there’s one thing I know for sure; It’s Us against the World.