And I'm Reaching Out For You

A few weeks later I woke up at eight........again. I can’t sleep anymore, I keep having dreams like I would be with Nick and then he’d just turn to me and be like “Ally I’m breaking up with you” and walk away. I still can’t believe it!But he hasn’t done it yet, he doesn’t even know that I know. He’s been torturing me and he doesn’t even know it! Maybe I can change his mind. Let’s hope so because I don’t think I could survive with out Nick. I’d be lost with out him, sad I know but so true. Seriously though, what more can I do? I’ve been trying so hard these past few weeks, but we are getting further apart andfightingmore and more, and over the most rediculousthings to! Like last night for example, He flipped out becauseI left the cap of the toothpaste off......HE DOESTHAT ALL THE TIME!!!Wewere in an all out screaming match over freakin tooth paste!!! Joe came in and seperated us.I thought he loved me….people change and promises are broken. I hate them for writing that song. I laid in bed fighting with myself for about an hour, and then I decided to get up. I got a shower and changed into a pair of jeans and a black sweat shirt, I dried my hair and lightly curled it, then put on my make up. “Ally, want to come to the radio interview with us?” Kevin asked walking in while buttoning up his vest. “Sure” I said pulling on a pair of black chucks, Nick picked them out. “Okay let’s go, dad’s waiting down stairs” he said grabbing my phone for me and throwing it to me, “Thanks” I said and then ran out ahead of him. Nick didn’t say anything to me; we were in the car sitting next to each other. “Like my shoes?” I asked him, “what? Oh yea” he said and then looking back out the window, sweet conversation. His phone was in the seat between us, I picked it up and decided to look threw it….much like he did back in New York with my phone. “Ally don’t look threw my phone” he said in an annoyed voice, “Why? You looked threw mine even when I asked you not to” I said back just as bitter.“I know and I’m sorry, just don’t look threw it!” he said snatching it back from me, this got the attention of everyone in the car. “What’s wrong with you?” I asked him narrowing my eyes, he licked his lips, “Nothing” “Nick” I said, “What?” he asked annoyed, “Your lieing!” I shouted, with that Mr. Jonas turned up the radio and started a conversation with Joe and Kevin. “No I’m not…” “Yes you are!” “NO I’M NOT!! KNOCK IT OFF!” He shouted very pissed off at me. I looked at him with wide eyes, like wow you have issues. “NICK!” Kevin Joe and Mr. Jonas all yelled together, “Sorry” he mumbled to me, “Whatever, just text Selena about it” “What?” he asked, “You heard me.” I said bluntly to him, “did you read them all?” he asked in a whisper a few moments later. “Yea Nick I did. So when were you going to do it?”I asked him not whispering, not yelling, just talking normally.“I….I don’t, I mean I wasn’t, I mean-“ “Stop right now, please. I know you cheating on me with her Nick” I said so low that I didn’t think he’d even hear it, “But I’m not” he stuttered out, “Nick, I read the messages! You’ve been going out like every other night for weeks now!! You haven’t really kissed me in so long, said you loved me, or held my hand” I said starting to tear up. “Ally I think, we should um take a brake or something….see other people” he said to me just as we pulled up to the E! studios, “But why? I mean what happened Nick?? One week were perfect, the next poof, your breaking up with me!?” “Ally, I- I don’t know I just don’t feel like your boyfriend, more like your best friend.” “Nick we’ve been dating forever I don’t understand how you can be feeling this way just now!” “I like Selena Ally” he said bluntly to me. “Nick” I pleaded, “I can’t help who I fall for” he said getting out of the car, I sat there. He always uses that line. I decided I’m not going to let him get the last word in. I hopped out of the car and grabbed his arm, Mr. Jonas, Joe, and Kevin walked ahead. “GET A NEW FUCKING BREAK UP LINE.” I shouted at him and then ran up to be with the other Jonas boys, you know the ones that haven’t broken my heart….ever.

“So boys, on to the dating questions…” Ryan said to them. I was sitting with Mr. Jonas in the other room listening in. “my favorite part!” Joe said sarcastically, they all laughed. “Okay well let’s see, Nick you and Ally, still going strong?” “Um” “Hesitation?!” Joe and Kevin shot there heads over at Nick, I had been watching him, he was looking at me, I gave him a look that said “Yea Nick, are we still going strong?” “Actually, we decided that being friends is better for us” he said. Yea my heart? It just broke…again. Mr. Jonas looked at me, I gave a weak smile and he rubbed my back and said “Sorry Ally” “For what?” I said fake laughing. “Isn’t Ally here with you guys?” Ryan said looking at me, currently I was pinching myself so I wouldn’t break down in tears right here. “Um yea” Joe said looking over at me, I waved biting my lip. “Why don’t you come on out?” I shook my head no smiling, “Aw come on Ally!” “Looks like she doesn’t want to” Joe said laughing a little nervously, “She’s tired, I dragged her out of bed this morning to come with us” Kevin said laughing, which then changed the subject to me staying with them and then going onto other stuff. I texted Nicole “It’s over.” I got one back, “WHAT?!” “me and nick- were done. He cheated on me with Selena then he broke up with me about a half hour ago” “THAT WHORE!” “I’m going to go, I’ll talk to you later” “I LOVE YOU” I sighed heavily, “Okay guys well thanks for coming!” “Oh thanks for having us!” Kevin said, they all said there goodbyes and then soon we were back in the car. “Joe sit next to me” I said to him, “Okay” he said and that was the only conversation on the way home. Once we got there I walked inside, “ALLY!!!!” Frankie shouted, I ignored him and walked straight up the stairs, tears starting to escape. “What’s wrong with her?!” Frankie shouted, “Not now Frankie, she feels sick” Kevin said to him. I slammed my door open. I ripped out my Jonas Box and threw the necklace Nick gave me and other jewelry, basically everything Nick had ever given me, or the pictures of me and him together they all went into the box. I was crying now and took the box and threw it into Nick’s room, he was sitting there on his bed….texting on his phone, “THIS SHIT IS YOURS”I said and then went back to my room and I slammed my door shut. Max looked so scared, I kissed his head and then scooped him up and took him to Nick’s room. “Here, you can have him back to…..you always wanted a puppy” I said putting Max down on Nick’s floor, “Ally come on, I was hopping we could be friends!!!” he shouted at me getting off his bed and picking Max up. “Friends nick?!” I shouted back but quiter then he just had, “Like Joe and Mandy” Nick said, his voice returning to normal“Friends….” I whispered looking down at my feet. “Please Ally, take Max, he’s yours” Nick said giving him to me, I backed away and shook my head no. I backed up to the wall, I don’t want to be his friend. I want to be his GIRLFRIEND. Like we used to be…..last week. When did he start cheating on me? When I was in Michigan? Maybe I should go back there? No. I’m not doing that. I’m staying here. I hate this, I hate him for breaking my heart, I hate him for cheating on me, I hate myself for letting him, I hate Selena for stealing him away from me!! I hate this, I hate this!! I thought while sliding down the wall, I was banging my head against his wall now crying. “Ally” Nick said coming over to me, “DON’T TOUCH ME!!” I shouted at him as he started to come closer, I pulled my knees to my chest and tightly gripped them, he kept coming, “NICK I’M SERIOUS!! DON’T TOUCH ME!!!” I said sobbing, Joe came in, “What the hell did you do nick!?” “I didn’t do shit!!” he yelled back, “YOU’VE BEEN CHEATING ON ME!!” Joe bent down and picked me up and carried me out of Nick’s room to my own. He sat down on the bed with me and wrapped me up in a big hug, he was rocking me back and forth saying soothing things to make me feel better. Someone knocked on the door lightly, “Al, it’s Kevin” Kevin said from the other side, “Come in Kev” Joe said for me.