And I'm Reaching Out For You

“Hey make sure you look better tonight then you did last game?” Nick said well more questioned, I turned around saying “What?” “Um that’s what James’s message said” He said handing me the phone. “Nick you know I hate it when people read my messages, and you’re the same way so please I am begging you do not read my messages. Only bad stuff happens when we read each other’s messages.” I said grabbing the phone and texting back a reply saying What do you mean? “Right. Sorry. But what does it mean?” He asked laying back down on the bed. “Oh it’s uh just a joke between us, like we say hey try and look hotter next time, you know cause well he can’t get any better looking so he says sorry it’s impossible back and yeah so on” I made up “Oh okay” Nick said completely buying my excuse. Now that means I’ve gotten way to good at lying when Nick can’t even tell anymore. It’s kind of scary.

My phone vibrated and I read the message. I just want you to always dress to impress, you know heels dress type of thing. Oh. I thought to myself. Oh okay, good luck. I sent and threw the phone to the floor, it landed against the closet door. “Woah bitter?” Nick asked sitting up with Max. “No, it’s about to die” I lied again. “Oh well what are you doing tonight?” “Oh I’m going to James’s soccer game with Joe” “Oh” He said back. “You can come if you want” I said swiveling around in the chair to face him. “Nah I don’t think so, a high school soccer game?” He said laughing sort of like it was uncool, “Oh I’m sorry but aren’t you the one who says how he always wanted to go to high school like a normal kid? Well this would be a high school experience for you” I said back making a point, “True, I guess I’ll come, I mean if you don’t care” He said looking away from Max to me. I smiled at him, “Come on I need my best friend for moral support” “for what would I be supporting you?” he said laughing, “Uh you know, stuff” I said shrugging my shoulders, truth is I don’t know why I want him to come…James will just get mad at take it out on me later. Maybe he shouldn’t come, but I can’t dis-invite him, I just told him he should come. Why am I so dumb?

“Okay, well you know I’m not going to be nice to him” Nick said getting serious, “And I’m not asking you to, but please Nick don’t cause a scene” I said back. “Don’t cause a scene? Is that what I do?” He was getting angry at my choice of words. “No. Nick you know that’s not what I meant.” I said quickly shaking my head while closing my eyes. “Alright, sorry….I didn’t mean to get mad” He said sighing. “Thanks. I’m not in the mood to fight right now honestly. I think I’d break down and cry” I said laughing while getting up and walking to my closet. How am I supposed to where a dress, heels, and cover up these bruises to a soccer game? I’m going to look like a complete goof.

“Well don’t you look nice! Where are you three going again?” Mrs. Jonas asked us. “A soccer game. Al why are you so dressed up?” Joe asked looking at me, “I don’t know just felt like it” I shrugged off his question. I was wearing a grey halter dress with a black sweater thing, to cover the bruises on my arms and shoulders, and some flip flops….screw the heels. My hair was lightly curled and lip gloss was applied. Nick just starred at me, I know he’s going to connect the text message with my outfit. He’ll say something when the times right.

We arrived at the game and well I was right. I felt like the biggest goof of my life. The whole school in jeans and sweat shirts. Then me. In a dress. A halter dress. The score was 2 to 10. We weren’t winning. I was shivering and rocking on my toes with my arms crossed waiting for this stupid game to end. “Cold?” Nick asked I nodded my head yes and he took his hoodie off and handed it to me, I was about to take it with out hesitation when I remembered James. I pushed it away with a weak smile. “Are you sure Al?” “Yea. The colds keeping me awake” I joked and he just put it on the bleacher next to us, “Why don’t you put it back on?” I asked, “Well if your going to be stubborn enough not to take the sweat shirt, then I’m going to be stubborn enough not to where it either” He said looking at the field. I just laughed at him and at Joe who was snapping his head back and forth following the ball.

“How much times left?” Nick asked from beside me while shivering. “Um a minute. And nick please put your sweat shirt back on!” I said throwing it at him. “No! If your going to get sick then so am I” he said putting the jacket back down to the spot I had picked it up from. “Ugh your so annoying” I said to him with annoyance in my voice, “And like your not” He said back laughing causing me to smile but then the buzzer went off declaring the end of the game. “Well they lost, two to ten” Joe stated standing up. “Great” I dragged out while standing up. “Will James be in a bad mood?” Nick asked standing up as we made our way down the bleachers, “Um I’m not sure” I lied, he was totally going to be in the worse mood.

We made our way to the parking lot and waited for James to come out of the locker rooms at the field. “Does he know were waiting for him?” Nick asked rubbing his arms for warmth, for May it was a freaking cold ass night. “Yea he does” I said for the millionth time. Nick was getting impatient. “Finally!” Nick said throwing up his hands in the air, I turned around and saw James walking towards us with his bag, not looking so happy. “Good game” I said with a smile, the one that he used to say made his heart skip a beat. The smile that has been fake for the past three months. “Not really. Did you even watch the game this time? Obviously you didn’t because then you would have seen we freaking got our asses handed to us out there” He said back while storming past me. “Sorry” I said quietly while biting my lip. “Whatever, are you wearing that to dinner?” He asked giving me a look that said you better not be. “Um” I started looking down at my feet, “I like it” Nick said speaking up for me. I know he’s trying to help but that’s just going to make James mad. “I don’t.” He said, I looked up both Nick and James were staring at me…”Um actually I’m kind of tired, so I was wondering if I could just go home and go to bed?” I asked looking at James. He rolled his eyes and looked at me, “Um never mind I think I can make it, where do you want to go?” I asked looking over towards the distant people walking to there cars, they were laughing and singing really loud and off key, reminds me of how I used to be. I didn’t care what people thought of me, ever. Now here I am scared to death of this boy and what he says about me really affects me.

Nick spoke up, “Whatever I’m going home, come on Joe. James have her home early. She’s probably going to be sick again tonight” Nick said looking at me when he said sick again tonight while getting into the car. Does he know I’ve been making myself sick lately? I just looked away and followed James to his car obediently. The car ride was awkward. I just kept looking out the window while I played with the hem of my dress. “So did you get something nice at the mall?” James asked at a red light, “Um I got some shoes, and glasses” “I hope not the same kind they where, they probably made you get them. There so ugly I hate them, they do not have good style” He said rambling on, “I like there style.” I said quietly. “You would” he said making the car pull into the restaurant parking lot. “Um that dress is really…..” he said I just tuned him out. I can’t take his negativity anymore.

“Um James, I’m sorry but I really don’t feel well, would it be alright if we leave?” I asked him. It was true, I don’t feel good. I haven’t eaten anything but cereal or carrots, and I’ve throw them up every time. “I’m still eating” He said motioning to his food. “Sorry” I said for what seems like the hundredth time. So about forty five minutes later after he had desert to, we were in the drive way of my house. The one I wanted so desperately to go hide in. “What are you doing tomorrow?” He asked me while I tried to open the door, all I wanted to do was get out of here, but he locked the doors. “Um I think I have to go to some big lunch thing for the boy’s new tour” I slipped. I knew we were going to some big lunch, but we didn’t know what and me and Joe had come to the conclusion it was when we were going to be told that we were going on tour. “Your going on tour with them!?” He shouted, “James please don’t yell! You’ll wake everyone up. And Yes, they are my family…where ever they go, I go” I said looking worriedly towards the house fearing that we had woken up someone. “Ally your going to be alone on a tour bus with three guys. Three guys I hate. Three guys and you. Alone. Without me anywhere near you!!!” He shouted. “James!!! There like my brothers! That’s disgusting!!!” I shouted disgusted. “What about Nick huh!? You went out with him didn’t you!?” “that’s different.” I said crossing my arms. “How is that different?!” “He’s been my best friend since before I could talk!!!” I shouted trying to open the locked door, “Are you saying that he’s better then me!?”

I finally got the door open and was standing on the lawn and James was getting out and walking over towards me. “WHEN DID THOSE WORDS EVER LEAVE MY MOUTH JAMES!?!” he isn’t saying anything but I’m already all worked up, I can’t stop now. “THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT!!! THEY DIDN’T EVEN COME OUT OF MY MOUTH, I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT OF THEM!!!” and with that I got a punch to the face. I was caught so off guard I fell to the ground while my hand clutched my face. That’s when I heard yelling and then hitting. Lot’s of hitting. I sat there on the front yard shocked….then it hit me. “Stop it guys!!!! Some one’s going to hear you!!! KNOCK IT OFF!!!!”I shouted. “STAY OUT OF IT!” James shouted at me while he swung at Nick who took the hit to his face but swung right back. “Nick please stop!!!! What if your dad gets out here!!!!” They just kept swinging. “guys please!!!” I begged trying to separate them, I was pushed back to the ground a few feet away from them. “NICK STOP NOW!!!” Kevin shouted while him and Joe pulled him off James, who was on the ground. “God keep your family under control Ally. We’ll deal with this later!” he shouted, “DON’T TALK TO HER LIKE THAT!” Nick shouted again trying to get out of Joe and Kevin’s grip. “Oh and you shouldn’t have had the full size salad….the half would have been plenty” He said one last rude comment before he got into his car. I ran my hands threw my hair and avoided all three of the boy’s gazes. “Um I have to, um” I said before running into the house. I made it to my room and started to cry before my door opened up. Kevin came in and sat down.