Crashing down around me

hey guess what readers? I"M LAZY. yes i am. so instead of going through and replacing all 15 chapters with the new version, i'm putting it here. nothing really changes in the long run. i only replaced boring verbs and added flowing adjectives and maybe changed some sentences or added or taken some out. theres not a big difference. so if you liked it before feel free to skip. if you need a refresher or just want to see the new edition, you are surely welcome to read on. xxx.c

DISCLAIMER: I do Not own any famous people, songs or labels I put in my story. I also know nothing about Avenged Sevenfold or its music or band members. Sorry if I get some info wrong about them, feel free to comment or message with corrections! Btw: Bellevue = made up town. I’m just sticking it in Northern California, a little past Fresno. So that’s where Violet is.

“Violet! Violet Mathews! Get your butt over here!” My best friend Scarlett called me from across the cafeteria.
I turned to see her waving her arms madly, wearing a bright purple 80’s sweatshirt that matched my red one. It was twin day at Bellevue High and the Color Girls, as we were often called, just had to make a splash.
Scarlett and I had been best friends since the first day of kindergarten at Bellevue Elementary. When the teacher made us stand up and give our names, everyone laughed at Scarlett and me because our names were colors. Now, we were known for them.
I skipped through the maze of tables in my bright red spandex leggings and peacock purple sweatbands, eyes following my every move. My dark hair swayed with my hips as I jumped to a stop in front of Scarlett.
“Babe,” She greeted me. “You really need to redo your highlights. They’re dulling quite a bit.” She informed me.
“So are yours.” I told her, examining the red streaks in her wavy blonde hair. “We’ll go after school today? Cami does an amazing job and she always has time for us. Plus, we need them to be bright for the party on Friday night at Carson’s house.”
“Okay. Sounds good. Can we go shopping after? I need a new dress for that party. I heard a lot of cute college guys will be there.” She looked at me earnestly, as if getting a new dress was a matter of grave importance. I couldn’t help but laugh at the expression on her face as I nodded in agreement.
Scarlett had to stand out, it was just the way she was. If she wasn’t the center of attention she wouldn’t know what to do with herself. We were always getting our streaks redone or buying new outfits designed to make people look twice at the two girls with colors as names.
“Meet me at my car and we’ll plan.” I told her, waving over my shoulder as I disappeared into the crowd. I headed towards the girls’ room to see if my streaks actually did need maintenance and to fix my make up.
“Hey Tessa, Sage, Tara.” I greeted the girls at the mirror as they moved over to give me a bit of space.
“Hey Vi. Your streaks are looking a bit faded. You should go see Cami.” Tara informed me as she put on a dab of bright blue eyeliner.
As I examined myself in, the mirror chatter resumed around me. I took in my bright blue eyes, seemingly crystal clear, and my dark hair with fading streaks of violet. My slim body in its red attire, seeming to stretch itself as I moved. Strange, seeing as on my tippy toes I only reached a height of 5’3.
My heart shaped face was inquisitive as I took myself in. My full, red lips, high cheekbones, and slightly pointed nose were features that occupied my pallid face. My complexion was clear, not a blemish marking the skin.
I was the dark haired, pale skinned beauty while Scarlett was the tan blonde haired babe. We were opposites in almost everything. She was tall. I was short. She had no boobs. I was a C. Her hair was wavy while mine was as straight as a ruler. Through all our differences, we still managed to stay best friends for twelve years.
We were at the end of our junior year, celebrating our youth and care free world for a few more months before the reality of college applications set in.
The rest of the day was a blur, passing me bye as I sat in dull submission. My thoughts were whirling. I was thinking about what dress to get, what guys to hit on, and where Scarlett and I would spend the night after the party because neither of us could go home drunk.
By the time the final bell rang, I had everything sorted out. We would go to Forever 21 for our dresses, hit on the cute college freshman and high school seniors, and spend the night at Tara’s because her parents were cool as long as we didn’t break anything and nobody got hurt or drove.
I waltzed to my car in a balloon of self-confidence. My peacock purple mustang convertible with white racing stripes was waiting along with Scarlett. I popped the lock and pushed the button on my key that opened the roof.
“Hey Scar. Cami’s?” I asked, racing out of the parking lot and onto the street. She nodded as I spend down the avenue.
I told her about my theory that if we looked older, older guys would want us. She agreed as I turned into the parking lot of Curls, Cami’s hair salon that was right by the mall.
“Hey Laila.” We waved at the receptionist, our bright blue nail polish shimmering in the dim light.
“Hi girls! The usual?” She greeted us sweetly, her wild red hair moving along with her body.
“Yes.” Scarlet started.
“Please.” I finished her sentence.
“Cami! The color girls are here!” Laila called towards the back. “I’ll go get the dye ready.” She left us alone by the front desk, knowing we would help ourselves to the diet cokes in the mini fridge.
“’Kay, so after we get our hair done I think we should head into Forever 21 or Wet Seal to check out the dresses for Friday. Carson said the football team was coming too, so we need to look good. Then, after we find the perfect dresses and shoes, we’ll head to my house for homework.” I informed Scarlett of my plans for the rest of the day as Cami and Sera worked on our hair.
I had my bangs trimmed, my layers relayered and my streaks redone. Scarlett had two inches cut off of her wavy locks along with getting her streaks re colored. Over all, we both looked amazing.
We ended up buying our dresses at H&M. Mine was black and strapless while Scarlett’s was a tight blue one. We chatted through out the trip about boys we liked, girls we didn’t, and the fact that summer was just around the corner.
As we approached my house, I noticed something was off. Usually we have gardeners working on the flowerbeds or the lawn, but today, there was no one. Usually, there are kids playing on the playground my parents built for me when I was four, but today it was empty. Usually, there were cars lining our driveway, either those of clients or friends of my mom or dad, but today only my car zoomed up the winding road.
“Vi? Why is this place so empty? It’s as if someone died around here!” Scarlett was as observant as I was and at my house almost as much. She noticed the deserted path as well.
“I don’t know. I bet Mom and Daddy gave everyone the day off or something, maybe they wanted some privacy for once? I’m sure everything is fine though.” I assured my best friend as well as myself, giving plausible reasons that everything was all right, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that things were not exactly as they seemed.
My feeling was quelled when we drove up to where the driveway doubled back in a circle around a pond in front of my house. There were about six cars, less then usual but enough to assuage my suspicions.
I quickly parked the car and jumped out, running to the front door with Scarlett on my heels, suddenly desperate to see my parents.
“Mom! Daddy! I’m home! Where are you?” I yelled my usual greeting to the entryway, but unlike every other day, I got no answer.
“Mom? Daddy?” I went down the hall to the living room where Mom sat everyday with one friend or another and saw, instead of my mother, seven complete strangers. Scarlett had been following me instead of running up to my room to get things organized as she did every other day and she instantly gasped.
“Um, who are you? Where are my parents?” I asked in a slightly snobby tone, acting like I thought I was better then these people. It usually scared them into leaving me alone for the few minutes I was in their presence while I talked to my parents before I disappeared upstairs.
“Violet, I am” The man in front started to answer my question as two more arose in my mind.
“Wait.” I commanded, not letting him finish his sentence. “First, how did you get in if Mom and Dad aren’t here, and second, how do you know my name? That’s kind of creeper. No, that’s really creeper.” I took my nose out of the air for a second to look at the people in front of me and noticed that three of them were in uniform. Police uniform to be exact.
“Violet, I am” I stopped him once again, slipping out of snobby child mode and into normal violet mode.
“Wait! I don’t care who you are.” I told him, my tone showing the worry that was clear on my face. “What happened? Where are my parents? No stupid introductions please. I know something happened so get to it and be blunt. I assure you it will be easier for us both if you do.” My calm outer exterior hid the raging turmoil within me.
“Okay…” He seemed unsure and looked indecisively at the two other uniformed men, one of which nodded in consent.
“Violet. Your parents are dead.” He looked at me as the words fought against my disbelief. I kept a straight face, not letting even a hint of emotion show through to the strangers in my living room. Scarlett slowly grabbed my hand, showing me she was there and wasn’t leaving. It was the only thing I really needed.
“Ma’am, may I ask you to go? What we are going to discuss is a private matter of which I am not allowed to disclose to anyone besides Miss Mathews.” He turned to Scarlett and spoke in a commanding voice, willing her to object. But before Scarlett could say anything, I spoke up.
“No. She stays. Say whatever you need to say. Scarlett stays here.” I demanded respect, my voice hard and cold, ice shooting through my eyes towards the offending officer.
“Fine then.” He said curtly, seeming tired of my attitude already. “Your parents who died aren’t your real parents. They adopted you. Now, because they are dead your real parents want you back. Your adoptive parents left everything to you, every cent, every item so you can stay here. But your real parents have come to collect you, so I take that back. You can’t stay here. Violet, please meet Mr. and Mrs. Sanders and their dear friend Mr. Haner.” He indicated the three people in back. The men had tattoos winding up their arms, and dyed black hair. The woman was a blonde, tall and slender.
Scarlett took in a huge breath that could be heard around the room. She obviously knew who these people were but I had no idea and it really didn’t matter to me.
“Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. You keep saying ‘Real Parents’ but my real parents were Kimmy and Patrick Mathews. These people gave me away. They didn’t want me. Mom and Dad did. So they may be my biological parents, but they’re defiantly not my real parents. Now, I don’t know who you are and I honestly don’t care. You missed your chance at knowing me when you gave me up.” I stared around the room, daring them to challenge me and knowing at least one of them would try.
“Scarlett? Will you please wait in my room? This will be over soon then we can do our homework and go to Tara’s to plan for Friday.” I knew my tough façade wouldn’t last long and I would need an excuse to get out of the room. Scarlett would provide that.
“’Kay.” She looked at me, decoding the message written in my eyes.
“Vi? I’m right upstairs.” She assured me, knowing I needed someone who wasn’t trying to take me away, knowing I needed someone to be there for me but also knowing I needed to do this alone. Her eyes told me she’d be listening to all that was said through the vent in my bathroom.
I nodded as she left, casting one more glance at my biological parents and their ‘dear friend’.
“Okay, so I seriously don’t care who you are. Scarlett seems to think you matter. But to me, you are just people who didn’t think I was worth it. So you try to take me away from my school, my friends, my life, and you have another thing coming. I will not go with you. I will not leap into your arms, telling you how much I love you, mostly because I don’t even like you. My parents are dead and there is nothing you can do to replace them.” I stared at them with cold, determined eyes, my mouth set in a hard line.
They didn’t know me. They hadn’t even wanted me before now. If they had tried to contact me before, when I had had a choice, when things were different, maybe I could have at least tried to reconcile. But now it was too late and they were beyond stupid if they thought I was going quietly.
“Violet. Please listen to us. We didn’t want to give you away! We’ve been searching for you for the past five years. At least give us a chance!” Mrs. Sanders looked at me pleadingly, willing me to see things their way. But it was too late for that. It was too late for anything.
“I’m sorry. But I’m done with this. I have a calculus test tomorrow and Scar and I need to study. You can let yourselves out.” I turned to go when one of the guys stopped me.
“Look kid,” he spat, “you have no idea what hell Matt and Val went through! You have no idea why they gave you away. You have no idea why they even wanted to find you in the first place! And now, neither do I. You’re nothing but a spoiled brat, not worth their time or mine.” His voice held venom, like he truly believed I was the bad guy here. That totally was not working for me. If you thought I was mad before, now I was furious, my emotions a wild inferno of hatred towards the people in front of me.
“They went through hell? They went through hell? Are you kidding me? Have you been here for the past ten minutes? I just learned that my parents are dead! Dead! And on top of that, they weren’t even my parents! Now the people who gave me up for their own selfish reasons want me back. They want me to act like they’ve been there for it all, through it all. When in reality, they know nothing about me, or my life. Have you ever thought one thing for so long, believed it to be the truth, only to discover that you’ve been living a lie? Have you ever realized that the people you have called parents your whole life are nothing but infertile baby takers? And you can’t even yell or scream at them, asking them why on earth they lied because they’re DEAD? I thought you were supposed to feel something when the people you love are in danger, when something bad is happening to them. But I felt nothing. They’re gone and I’m supposed to live on without them. Now Mr. and Mrs. Sanders think they can come take me away from everything I know and everything I am to go live with them! A perfect, happy family! Well that’s not happening. Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not going anywhere.” My guard was finally down, letting these strangers see what only my parents and Scarlett have ever seen.
“Scarlett! Scarlett.” Tears rushed down my face as I started shaking uncontrollably.
Scarlett ran down the steps, coming behind me. Her arms circled my waist as I slumped forward.
“They’re dead Scar. Dead. My parents are dead.” I was blubbering uncontrollably, not really caring that there were still people in the room.
“What did you do to her? What happened? Violet never cries in front of anyone but Kimmy, Patty or me! What did you say?” Scarlett screamed at the people in my living room.
“Get out! GET OUT! Get away from her! I wont let you hurt her any more then you already have.” Her face was red as she yelled at my biological parents and their bad tempered friend.
The police officers and lawyer looked shocked and hurried to comply with her orders, almost running out the front door. Mr. and Mrs. Sanders along with Mr. Haner however, stayed where they were.
“I. Said. GET. OUT. NOW!” Scarlett was beyond mad. She would probably punch one of them if they didn’t do as she asked.
“Look kid, we’re not going anywhere. We are staying here until Violet talks to us and we fix this mess. She is my daughter and I want her. I know I haven’t acted like much of a father but that’s going to change. Now.” Matt looked at Scarlett, anger burning through his eyes.
“Scar? Can we please go upstairs? Please? Please, Scarlett?” I was almost beyond caring what happened to me. My small yet perfect world was crashing down on me in the worst possible way. But everyone knows perfect things don’t last, and I never should have expected them to.
“Okay. Let’s go.” She looked at me expectantly but I couldn’t move.
“Vi? Come on baby. Come on.” She helped me stand up, taking my weight as we walked up the stairs.
“Leave.” She commanded the three remaining guests even though we both knew they weren’t going anywhere.
I looked at them, taking in the features we had in common with a bleary stare.
“Come on, Violet.” Scar tugged on my hand gently, reminding me that we were on our way upstairs.
“Violet. Please come back down when you are ready to talk to us. We’ll wait in here.” My biological father spoke earnestly, like I should really care about what he wanted.
I just blinked in response as Scarlett lead me up the stairs and to my bathroom where a vent lead to the living room, letting us hear everything they said.
“Matt, she hates us.” Val was crying, I could tell by her voice.
“No she doesn’t babe. She just doesn’t understand why we had to give her up. I would tell her everything, but she seems so headstrong. She’s like you like that. She wouldn’t care. I wish we could just talk to her. Explain about us and her but I doubt she would listen.” Matt sounded sad, like he was loosing hope that I would ever come around.
“Why did you give her up? I never got the full story.” Oh thank you Bad Tempered Friend! This was a perfect opportunity for me to hear and digest their side of the story without them knowing I was listening.
“Brian, you know we had her when Val was 18 and I was 19, right?” I didn’t hear a response but I think Brian must have nodded because Matt continued in his sordid story.
“That was right when our band got signed. We were both young, not ready for the responsibility. I wanted to tour with Avenged, Val didn’t want to be tied down by a baby. Her parents said they would disown her if she kept Violet. Mine couldn’t care less and I didn’t want a baby to grow up in the environment that I did. It was too soon in our relationship, we didn’t know where our lives were headed or even if it was to the same place. We were high school sweet hearts; it wasn’t love yet. We knew the baby wouldn’t get the love and care it needed and deserved.
So we started looking for couples looking for a baby to adopt. It took us a while but finally we found the Mathews. I liked them from the start. They were amazing people, great with kids. They had financial stability and were old enough to take on the responsibility of a child. I also liked them because I felt like I was giving Violet a part of me. Her last name was my first. It made me feel closer, like we could keep a connection even though she would never know us.
About eleven years later, we were ready. We wanted to know our little girl. She never left our mind, not even for a minute. We hired a detective to find her through her blood. We still had it on file because the first lawyer we had thought we might need it. He looked through everything, school records, hospital bills, everything. We thought it was a lost cause. But then the detective called about a month ago. He said he had found her, our little girl. Only, she’s not so little anymore. She’s a gorgeous, talented, amazing sixteen-year-old young woman.
When he told us he had found her, our Violet, we wanted to set up a meeting. We called Kim and Patrick Mathews and they agreed. They hadn’t told her she was adopted yet but they were going too on her seventeenth birthday, which is three weeks away from today. We were going to go to her party, show up in the guise of being Kim’s childhood friends. Violet wasn’t to know we were her parents.
So we started learning everything we could about her. Hobbies, friends, grades, favorite subjects, taste in music, fashion, entertainment. We found out what she was scared of, what made her happy and what made her angry. The last part was hard. Kim said that Violet never showed emotion to anyone except her, Patrick and her best friend Scarlett. Kim said it took a lot for her to show people what she was feeling and what was going on in her head. Violet likes to seem strong, like nothing can faze her and like nothing matters. I used to do that too. If people can’t see how you feel about something, they can’t torment you in any way about it. If you stay strong, people think you have no weaknesses and won’t try to find them.
Anyways, we learned everything we could about Violet Daphne Katrina Mathews. We watched home videos, went to her dance recital and looked at the stories she posted on an online teen writing site. We listened to her band’s demo and went to a show. They’re unbelievable.
She’s amazing, Bri. She grew up better then we could have dreamed. Dude, she plays the bass! She’s in a band. She can do pretty much anything she sets her mind to. She’s been in plays, inside and outside of school. She plays the piano. She dances. She sings. She has straight A’s in all honors classes. She can do anything.
I just wish we were the people to help her become who she is. We never knew she was so special. We never knew a lot of things. We still don’t know so much! Now I’m worried we wont get the chance to find out. “ Matt was quite for a minute and Val’s crying punctured the silence.
“Now we get to have her. It may be under the worst of circumstances, but it’s what we’ve been dreaming of for the past five years. We finally have her, but she doesn’t want us.” He finished in a huff and I couldn’t hear anything more coming from the living room.
I slowly lowered myself onto Scarlett’s lap, holding tight to her waist as she rocked me back and forth, trying to quiet my violent sobs.
After about an hour, I had finished contemplating what I heard.
“Scar? I’m going down stairs.” I told her as we lay on my bed, quietly mulling over everything that had happened that day.
“Okay baby. Call me if you need anything.” I’m not sure Scarlett was convinced, but I was. These people loved me enough to choose Mom and Dad to take their place as my parents. They loved me enough to look for me for five years and not give up hope. They loved me enough to want to be in my life even if they couldn’t play a major part in it.
I thought they deserved a chance so I got up, dried my tears, and headed out of my room and down the stairs.
“Mr. and Mrs. Sanders?” I quietly called to them as I entered the living room.
Their heads snapped to look at me, disbelieving.
“I heard what you told Mr. Haner.” I admitted sheepishly, lowering my head to look at my bright pink toenails.
“We know, Violet.” Val started.
“We could hear you crying after I finished my story so we figured if we could hear you, you could hear us.” Matt finished his wife’s thought.
I still couldn’t refer to them as my parents, even though that was what they were.
“So, you really do love me? You searched for me for five years? Why didn’t you give up? I can assure you, I’m nothing special. I’m not the way you describe me.” I looked at Matt’s face, then Val’s.
“Yes, Violet, we love you. Yes we searched for five years. We didn’t give up because you’re worth it, Violet. You’re worth everything.” Matt looked at me earnestly, willing me to believe him.
And I did. Scarlett may be a skeptic, but she always has been. She’s been hurt one too many times so getting her to trust people is hard.
“I believe you.” I told them, looking at Matt, then Val straight in the eyes.
What Matt had said was true, my eyes and his were exactly the same.
Val started to sob uncontrollably, opening her arms and rushing at me. She engulfed me in a giant hug, pulling me close.
“Violet? Are you okay down there?” Scarlett’s voice entered the room through the vent that lead to my bathroom.
“I’m fine, Scar. Want to come down?” I didn’t get a response and I assumed she was making her way down the stairs.
“Matt? Val? Why does Scarlett know who you are? What did you mean by ‘Avenged’ when you were talking to Mr. Haner? Why do I get the feeling that you’re around screaming teenage girls a lot? You handled Scarlett’s demands well. You didn’t even flinch. Most people react like the police officers and lawyer did. How did you know I don’t cry a lot? Why do you think I’m going to come live with you now that my mom and dad are dead? I’m glad you’re back in my life but I don’t really know how to handle any of this.” I was really confused and not quite sure how to handle the situation.
Matt was the one to answer first. “Violet? Have you ever heard of the band Avenged Sevenfold?” He looked at me, as if this question was of the utmost importance.
“Yeah, Scarlett listens to them all the time.” I had no idea where this conversation was heading, couldn’t track its progress on the map of logic. I tilted my head to the side in confusion.
“Well… that’s our band. I sing. Brian here plays the guitar.” He looked nervous, unsure how I was going to take the news that my biological father is a rock star.
“But… I thought those people had odd names. Scar is like in love with the one with Jesus in his name… Jesus something… Something Jesus. I’m not sure exactly what it is.” I didn’t quite believe them but then Brian burst out in a fit of hysteric laughter.
“J-Jesus Something! Something Jesus! Oh this is amazing. I’m never going to let him forget you said that. Or you, for that matter. Johnny is going to die.” It seemed that the supposed guitar player of Avenged Sevenfold thought something was funny but I couldn’t guess what it was to save my life.
“VIOLET! I can Not believe you just said that! You can’t tell your biological dad and his best friend that I’m ‘like in love’ with one of their band mates! YOU SUCK BUTT! And it’s Johnny Christ! Not Jesus Something!” Scarlett barged into the room, her face red with chagrin.
“I can’t believe you didn’t recognize them from the poster on my ceiling! It’s the one right next to ATL, which you stare at nonstop. Jack isn’t that cute you know.”
Now it was my turn to blush. Scarlett was just blabbing my secret celebrity crush to the people I have recently learned are my parents.
“Scarlett?” My voice was innocent as I called her over. She had no idea what was coming.
“Yeah?” She answered.
“Come here please.” I politely requested. She did as I asked and walked over to me, leaning her ear to hear whatever secret I was about to share.
“Shut. Up.” I emphasized. She nodded, a smile on her face as she backed towards the kitchen.
“I’m going to go make some food. Anyone else want anything?” Scarlett took her cue to leave the room, letting me get the answers to the most important questions.
Everyone shook their heads until Matt shot a look at Brian.
“Um, I do.” Brian got up and left the room, following Scarlett down the hall.
“Matt? Val? You still haven’t answered the most important question. Why do you think I’m going to come and live with you? I live here, in Bellevue. My friends are here. My life is here. My family is here. Scarlett and Tara, they’re my family too. I don’t think I could live with out them.” I looked at them pleadingly. To leave my home after losing my parents would be really hard to deal with.
This time, it was Val who answered me.
“Violet, your parents left us custody of you. They saw how much we love you. When they redid their will about two weeks ago, they left everything to you and they left you to us. I don’t know how they knew something was going to happen. They said it was ‘Just in Case’, but sure enough two weeks later we get a call saying that a drunk driver had run a light and that we were to come explain everything and take you home with us. We flew out today and got here around three. We expected you home much sooner but I can see you went shopping.” She smiled at me, noting the bags I had dropped by the door when I came into my living room to find seven strangers.
“So… I have to come live with you? Where do you live? What am I going to do with my house? What about all the people my parents employ? Where are they going to find work? What about the kids? They come here all the time! What am I going to do?” I was partly mumbling to them, partly to myself.
Matt and Val just looked at each other before Matt answered two of my questions.
“We live in Huntington Beach about a ten hour drive south of here. And yes. You are coming to live with us.” He looked worried, waiting for my reaction.
Tears coursed down my cheeks as an idea hit me.
“Matt? Val? Can I turn my house into an orphanage? We have sixteen bedrooms that would hold about five kids each, not counting the rooms of the live in help. We have a huge playground in the front yard and two swimming pools. Our backyard is large enough for all the kids to play whatever they want. We have all the sports equipment anyone could ever want. We have a music room with about ten instruments and a recording studio. There are ducks and fish in our pond/lake thing and we have four paddleboats and three rowboats.
We could keep on all the workers and hire a few caretakers for the kids. We’re about ten minutes out of Fresno so I’m sure we’d get kids.” I was rambling but this was something I really wanted to do. If I had to leave everything, go live with people I barley know in a place I’ve never been, I wanted to leave a mark on Bellevue.
Val seemed to love the idea, a spark in her eye told me she would help until I got everything done.
“Okay. Let’s do it. We can stay here until we get everything settled. I’ll work on hiring the caretakers. Val will publicize it. Do you know what you want to name it Violet?”
“K.P Mathews Adoption Center.” I answered quickly. Tears were streaming down my face and my throat was closing. Kimmy and Patrick Mathews Adoption Center. Mom and Dad would be so proud. I wish they were here. I wish they hadn’t left me.
It had been the longest day ever; Matt and Val had spent the rest of the evening planning my parents’ funeral. They asked me about a million yes or no questions. I guess they knew I could only give one-word answers.
A week passed and nothing was really different. I still cried for the vast majority of every day. I still wouldn’t see anyone except Scarlett and Tara. I barely ate, spoke, or slept. I didn’t go to band practice. I didn’t sing or play my bass or piano. I didn’t even dance.
“Come on babe. Let’s get you dressed. Kimmy and Pat would want you to stand out at their funeral.” Scarlett pulled me from my bed and into my closet. She picked out a bright red strapless satin dress. It was gorgeous. The dress pleated right under the bust line, creating four large creases that ran to the hem. It took me a second before I realized that Scarlett was in the same dress, only in deep purple. My peacock purple pumps were four inches with a round toe and ankle strap. Scarlett’s ruby ones were pointy toed with a five inch heel, even though she was tall to being with.
“Your parents loved it when we dressed like this.” She reminded me quietly, her voice thick with unshed tears.
We did our makeup and rode in the Hurst to the church. My parent’s weren’t religious but they always said they had never been to a more beautiful place. They joked that they wanted to be buried here. I had to follow their last wish.
No prayers were said as everyone took their turns to say goodbye to my parents. I never stopped crying as I silently listened in to the private tributes.
‘Will You Be There’ by Michael Jackson played as my Mom and Dad’s caskets were lowered into the same plot of earth situated under the shade of a weeping willow, its branches softly brushing the ground.
Tears flowed from every single person there. They all had a special memory with my mom, dad or both of them in it. So many people loved my parents but out of everyone there, I would miss them the most.
Everyone left a special gift in the caskets, laying them gently beside my parents.
Once all the guests had left, I walked up to stand in between my parents.
“I love you. I’ll always love you. I forgive you for not telling me that I was adopted. Matt and Val are great, but they could never replace you. I miss you so much. How am I supposed to live without you? What am I going to do? I don’t know anything about this world! You were supposed to teach me! Why did you leave me? Why did you have to go? I can’t do it without you.” I was sobbing uncontrollably, shaking in the summer breeze. “I can’t do it without you.”

-*-*-*-

“Violet! Did you finish packing?” Val called to me from the hall outside the guest room where she and Matt had been staying.
I looked up, expecting to see her standing in my doorway and continued sitting in the middle of my closet, clothes piled messily around me in lopsided towers. Shoes were everywhere and there was a trail of makeup that hadn’t made it to the box. Multicolored tights, leggings and nylons laced through the dresses, skirts, tunics, shirts, shorts, pants, and jeans. A wide array of bras and panties created a border around my clothing kingdom.
“Violet? Are you ready?” She came in my room, looking around for the neatly packed suitcases that I promised her would be ready by three.
Val took in my unorganized array of clothes, the empty suitcases lying open on my bed. Then she spotted me. I was curled up, clutching a picture of Mom and Dad.
I was supposed to move out today, leave my home to go live with Matt, Val and the rest of Avenged Sevenfold. But the only progress I had made so far was to pull every article of clothing I owned out of its proper place and onto the floor.
I had been trying to get myself together for almost four hours and made no progress whatsoever. It was impossible. I had to stay. Leaving my parents was not an option I could live with. If I left this place, all the memories of Mom and Dad would be just that, memories, nothing material. My locket was the only thing I had left.
“I-I can’t go! I can’t leave! I can’t leave them!” I was sobbing uncontrollably. It had only been a week since my parents had died, seven of the hardest days of my life.
“Violet, go take a shower. Clean yourself up. I’ll pack your room.” Val pushed me towards my bathroom and began folding my clothes, stacking them neatly in one of my many bright purple suitcases.
I undressed and stepped into the scalding hot water, feeling the burn cut through the numbing sadness that had filled me since I got home on that horrible day. I shampooed my hair, sorrow filling me as I smelled the lavender scent of my mother. Once I had laced conditioner through my dark hair, I shaved my legs and underarms. I rinsed and stepped out into the steamy bathroom.
Through it all, tears had continued to flow down my face. I kept trying to fight the overwhelming logic that kept repeating itself in my mind. ‘Stay here, Violet. You will remember them better if you live here, if you stay. They will stay with you here; they know where to find you. If you leave, they won’t know where you are.’
I couldn’t face it as my parents’ last words filled my mind. “We love you, Violet. Always and forever. We love you no matter what. Never forget that. You are our Vivacious Violet and we’ll always be here for you. We’ll never leave you.”
“Liar!” I screamed to the voices in my head, trying to fight off the urge that told me I was cheated by my own parents, the two people I had trusted more then anyone else in the world.
“Why did you lie? Why did you leave me? I’m all alone now. Why did you leave?” I sobbed to the empty bathroom as if expecting a response.
“Violet! Violet are you all right? Are you okay Sweetie?” Matt burst into the bathroom, ready to attack anyone or anything that seemed out of place.
I looked up at him from the floor, clutching my fluffy towel tight to my wet body.
“Why did they leave me, Matt? Why did they go? They said they would always be there for me! They said they wouldn’t leave me! They lied! They went somewhere I can’t follow! Now I’m alone! I don’t know what to do! I don’t know what to do.” I was overwhelmed in a bout of hysteria, tossing my rationality up in the air as I struggled to remain in control of myself.
“I’m sorry, kid. I really am. We’re just trying to do what’s best for you now, it’s all we can do.” Matt was sincere as he quietly backed out of the bathroom.
“She’s alright.” I heard him murmur to Val. But it was the lie of the century. I wasn’t all right and anyone with half a brain could see that.
I dressed in the clothes Val had left out for me and blow-dried my hair. It bugged me when my hair got the back of my shirt wet. It was unbelievably uncomfortable.
I felt like looking like I was fine today, even though it couldn’t be farther from the truth. I layered on a thick line of peacock purple eyeliner and brushed on some green mascara to compliment both the purple liner and my blue eyes. Blush gave my pale face color.
“Violet? It’s time to go, Honey. All your stuff is packed and in the bus. Our flight is in an hour so we need to get a move on.”
Brian had come back to help us move out of my house. He had stayed across the hall from me and we had grown to be friends in the past few days.
“I don’t want to. I can’t leave them! I can’t go! They won’t know where to find me!” I was trying not to cry, clutching onto my locket for dear life. It was heart shaped; the silver so tarnished you could barley see the ivy creating a border around an inscription engraved in a slender, cursive script. Violeta, we love you with all our hearts. Forever and always, M&D. I had gotten it when I was born from Mom and Dad. I wore it everyday without fail. It was the only thing I had left of them.
“Vi, come on. It’s time to go now.” Brian was instant as I contemplated life, death, and why they had to be so separate.
“No. I’m not leaving. I can’t.” I tried to sound strong but the tears started to flow from my eyes and gave away my inner weakness.
“Violet. We have to go. Matt and Val are waiting. Scarlett wants to say goodbye. We need to go.” He tried to reason with me, not yet realizing that my irrational fear had taken over the logical part of me.
“No! I’m not going!” I shouted at him, tears raging down my cheeks and dripping off my chin. I wouldn’t leave. I couldn’t.
He reached for me and I opened my arms, expecting a hug. Instead, I was thrown over his shoulder. I began violently kicking and screaming. They had called me Violent Violet in middle school for a reason.
“No! No you can’t make me! I can’t go! No! Mom! Dad! Help me! ” I screamed at the top of my lungs, tears falling from my face as it turned beet red from the effort of fighting against Brian.
“Violet! They’re dead. Your parents are dead. They can’t help you.” His soft voice cut off my protests and ended my kicking. All I could do was cry harder then I ever had before and hold tight to Brian as I finally realized that my parents were never coming back.

When we arrived at the airport, Matt took Val’s and my bags to check while we went go get snacks and magazines for the two-hour plane ride.
“Vi? Which one do you want, Sweetie?” Val’s soothing voice cut through my brain like a plastic spork, slowly pulling me from my daze. She was holding three tabloids in front of my face, each screaming out some scandalous celebrity happening. Us Weekly, People, and Seventeen were splayed in her fingers, fanned out like a hand of cards.
I mindlessly grabbed the People and Us Weekly and set them on the counter where the cashier was ringing up the bags of chips and pretzels Val had picked out for us.
This was how it was now. I didn’t talk if I could help it, using small gestures and facial expressions to convey the answers to their numerous questions. I rarely slept, the evidence of such shadowing my eyes in plum purple bruises. I didn’t eat, pushing the food expertly around my plate to make it look like I had taken a few bites when really I had had none. I was loosing myself to the grief, not knowing how to handle the ever present sadness that was controlling my life.

-*-*-*-
“Violet? Vi sweetie? We’re here.” I looked up at Val, sitting in the front seat as she pointed out of the tinted window of the huge black SUV.
We had arrived at the airport about an hour ago. Matt and Brian had had to sign some autographs and take some pictures but I was left unnoticed. No one knew yet that Matt Sanders AKA M. Shadows had found his long lost daughter. No one knew that I was here with them, the lead singer and guitarist of Avenged Sevenfold. They probably pinned me as a desperate fan girl, following them around like a lost puppy.
Valary shielded me as best she could, distancing herself when fans spotted her so that they wouldn’t involve me in their obnoxious, never ending questions. I was jostled and shifted as people jockeyed for a place where they could see the famous band members but we had finally made it out. Throughout the whole event, I was emotionless, simply following the orders I was given.
“Violet, We’re home.” After an hour in the gigantic black Escalade we had reached Matt and Val’s home in Huntington Beach. Brian had left us at the airport, slipping into his own car and driving home to be with Mishelle.
I looked up at the house, about as large as my old one but modern looking with a certain homey charm. Val helped me out of the car as Matt lead the way inside with Val’s and my bags. They lead me up the grand staircase, down a hall and around a corner to a black and purple door.
“Vi? This is your room. We hope you like it.” Val pushed open the door and my mouth dropped. ‘Violet’ was spelled out in wrought iron letters held to the bright purple wall by a hemp string. There was a huge black chandelier hanging from the center of the purple ceiling, which was decorated in a gothic design of black twirls. The huge bed was smack in the center of the room, covered by a metallic silver cover that was about as wide as the mattress, containing at least two down comforters. A sparkling silver, black, and purple vanity table occupied the space across from the bed. Large beanbag chairs were scattered randomly around the room along with circular black, silver, and purple shag rugs. Two doors stood opposite each other, both claiming a corner of the room. One was black, silver lettering spelling out ‘Violet’ in different fonts and sizes taking up as much room as possible. The second was purple with a crude inky painting of what lay inside. Large black strokes created a vision of racks of clothes and sets of drawers, each delicately inscribed with the contents. A black desk was set up by the window doors leading out to the balcony, complete with a computer, pens, notebooks and tacks for the corkboard hanging above. A curved window bench was situated on the west wall, giving me a perfect view of the ocean. It was covered in a long black cushion. Sharpies were set on a small ledge where the only white paint was surrounding window and bench, just waiting for artistic inspiration to strike.
“Well? Do you like it Violet?” Matt broke my string of concentration as I tried to come up with every way I knew to say Thank You.
I nodded. “I love it. Thank you.” I ran to both of them, enveloping them both in a huge hug. It was more physical contact then I’d had in a long time but for some reason, it felt normal, like I’d done it hundreds of times before.
They smiled down at me when a loud knocking on the door interrupted our mushy moment. “I’ll get it.” Val smiled one more time and left me with my arms around Matt.
When she came back in, her clothes were different. I guess she had changed before opening the door. I ran to Val, holding on for dear life as I looked into her eyes. “Val? Who was at the door?”
At that moment, two people entered the room and looked at me, astonished. Matt was suppressing laughter. It took me a second to realize that arms had not snaked around me, Val’s usual reaction. I looked up at her, confusion sweeping through my gaze as she looked at me in amusement.
“Vi?” I looked towards Brian, only to see that Val was standing next to him. My head tilted in confusion as I stepped back from the lady I was clinging to.
“Val is over here.” He laughed at me. “ But since you are already over there, I want you to meet Mishelle. She’s my girlfriend and, as you just discovered, Val’s twin.” Comprehension dawned on me as I meekly smiled at her. “Hi, I’m Violet.” I told her as I backed my way towards the real Val.
“Hi Swee-“ She was cut off as we heard hoarse laughter and a couple pairs of footsteps pounding up the stairs.
“YOU’RE FINALLY HOME!!!” A guy who had to be at least 6’5 bounded into the room, skidding around like a car that had been going too fast when the breaks were pushed.
“Who’s the kid?” he wondered aloud, looking around the room. “And who’s Violet? I thought this was a guest bedroom. Why did you guys redecorate?” Two more guys and three girls followed him in and nodded, agreeing with his questions.
“Jimmy, this is Violet. Don’t you remember anything? I told you everything when we talked on the phone. You were supposed to tell everyone else!” Matt looked at him scoldingly, as if he was reprimanding a small child.
Jimmy bowed his head in shame. “I forgot.” He said quietly before looking up at me and sprinting across the room and picking me up in a huge hug.
“Hi! I’m Jimmy! That’s Zacky, Gena, Johnny, Lacey, and Leanna!” he twirled me around before setting me back on my feet and pointing everyone out as I quickly walked back to Val’s warm embrace.
“Hey.” They said in unison, some lifting a hand and others just looking at me confusedly.
“So I’m guessing Jimmy didn’t tell you guys anything?” Matt inquired of the group.
Heads were shaken and the three girls let out “Nope”, “Nothing” and “Nu uh”.
“Well then, everyone, this is Violet, our daughter.” I heard gasps as I cowered into Val’s side, trying to hide from the unwanted attention.
“Hi.” I said meekly, hating the looks I was receiving. I was never good at being the center of attention around adults and now wasn’t any different. I loved being the envy of girls my age and younger. Older? Not so much. Most of them looked down on the girl with a colorful name, personality, and hairstyle.
Instantly I was showered in hugs, kissed on the temple numerous times, and spoken to at a velocity no normal person could hear. Scarlett being my best friend, I understood every word from years of practice.

-*-*-*-

Two months had passed since I was first brought to Huntington Beach. Since then I had opened up a bit more. I still spoke less then I had before and was softer spoken, but that was to be expected and everyone understood.
“Violet! Get up! Get up! Get uhhp!” Val sang as she entered my room.
“Nu uh!” I mumbled as I pulled a pillow over my head. It was useless though because the next second, I felt my covers being thrown off onto the floor and the pillow grabbed right as someone unceremoniously wrenched back my blackout curtains, letting the burning sunlight hit my eyes as I struggled to get away from it.
“Vi-oh-let! Come on!” Jimmy whined at me from where he stood, pillows in hand. “We want to go out! We’re getting you a Daughter’s Day present!” (n/a: its really on the first Sunday of march but I’m changing it.) He was instant as I looked pleadingly around the room.
Everybody was there, dressed and ready, standing in my colorful room and looking at me expectantly.
“Well, you’re getting two actually.” Brian cut in, looking at me with a huge smile gracing his face as he wiggled his eyebrows at someone on the other side of me and nodded.
“AHHH!” I screamed, filling the room with my sounds of surprise and terror as someone jumped on top of me, swiftly sending a few ice cubes down my back. “Matty! That wasn’t nice! Shame!” I scolded my father, brushing one index finger against the other in a sign used by most four year olds.
“But baby! You gotta get up! I want to get your present! I’m So Excited!” He seemed more awake then usual and when I turned to look at the clock, I realized why. It was three, the latest I’ve ever slept in. I usually sleep until noon and I wasn’t sure why today was any different.
Twenty minutes later I was pushed down the stairs by Mishelle, Val, Leana, Gena, and Lacy. All were very proud of my appearance, as they looked appreciatively at their handiwork.
“Wow. Vi, you look great!” Zacky complimented my navy blue tunic dress, black tights, and crissy crossy black patent leather high heels. My eyes were smoky and mascara was plentiful, standing stark against my slightly blushed cheeks. “All this for the mall?” he looked questioningly at me. I simply shrugged and pointed behind me to where my female family stood smiling.
“Doesn’t she look amazing?” Gena gushed as she looked on.
“She does babe. You did good.” He told her, pulling her to him and setting an arm around her shoulders.
“You look wonderful, Sweet heart.” Matt told me, smiling. “Now let’s go!”
Fifteen minutes later we all piled out of the three-car caravan and Matt and Val lead the way through the mall. All the guys had hats and large sunglasses to make it harder for fans to notice them while the girls were dressed vibrantly, their outfits screaming for the attention that the boys’ denied.
“We’re here!” Jimmy bounced up and down, obviously excited by the store in front of us. All the while as we made our way around the unfamiliar mall the grown ups had been looking for something in what they thought was a subtle way.
I looked up and saw a bright blue sign with paw prints all over it. The Pet Store was written in a curlicue font, probably trying to dress up the bland, blunt name.
I tilted my head in confusion but nevertheless followed everyone inside.
“Ry? What are we doing here?” I turned to Valary. (a/n: ry pronounced ree)
“Babe, we are getting you a daughter’s day present.” I looked at her incredulously, my eyes wide in disbelief. I had always wanted a dog but Mom and Dad had been allergic to any kind of fur, so I had had to stick to fish.
“Pick whoever you like.” She told me with a huge smile on her face.
That was all it took for me to run to the kennels of puppies, fervently searching for my ‘It’ dog, the one I would know just by looking at it. All of a sudden I stopped dead in my tracks, causing Jimmy to bump into me from behind.
He looked at me with wide eyes. “You found it.” He told me, knowing by the look on my face that I had discovered the puppy of my dreams. I nodded, pointing to a small black and white, soft haired dog. The kennel was labeled Maltypoo – Male.
“What’s his name?” Johnny appeared from behind us.
“Puddles.” I told him with certainty. This was my new puppy. This was my little Puddle of happiness.
About a half an hour later, Puddles was asleep in my arms. We had bought him a carrier, bed, leash, collar, dog tags, food, and lots of toys. We had also gotten what the overly perky sales lady had called Puppy Wee Wee’s. They were like padded floor squares with sticky bottoms that we could stick around the house for when Puddles had to pee.
“Come on, Pudz.” I told him sleepily, pulling him into bed with me after taking him to the back yard to do his business. I held onto him as he curled into my side, licking me once before resting his tiny head on my boobs and falling asleep. I was gone soon after.
“PUDDLES” I woke up to Matt screaming from down stairs. Apparently my puppy had woken up before me, but that was normal. Most people did.
‘Oh no.’ I thought to myself, yanking off my covers and running down stairs just in time to hear Zacky gloat.
“Ohhh! Did Puddles make a puddle of piddle?” He started laughing hysterically, which was suddenly cut off by an “Ow!” I assumed Matt had hit him as I reached the last step and bounced into the kitchen.
I saw Matt holding Puddles by his upper middle, dangling him over the wet floor.
“Matty!” I scolded, scooping Puddles from his angry grasp. “Don’t you remember? The sales lady said Pudz wasn’t house trained yet!”

He sheepishly nodded at me, his face tilted towards the floor where a yellow puddle still resided.
“Clean it up.” He ordered Zacky, who scowled but did as told.
“Oh and Vi, guess what?” Matt seemed to be dreading something and this worried me. The only things that worried Matt were things he knew I would not like.
“What?” I played along in a dull voice, knowing that what I was about to hear would not make my day very good.
“You’re going to school! We already got you in and bought your uniform and textbooks and everything you’ll need. The place is called Mayfield and apparently it’s very prestigious. They’re into the whole religion thing but its only three classes a week so I think you can survive. It really won’t be that bad, yah know? You can make friends and meet people… but no boys. You wont be meeting any boys…” Matt carried on with his incessant chatter but I had long before tuned him out. Four of his words had taken me by surprise. “You’re going to school.”
I hadn’t even thought about that. I mean, I knew I’d have to start someday, I couldn’t just drop out at the end of my junior year, but the possibility hadn’t even flitted through my oh so vacant mind. I had thought Matt would tell me that Jimmy stole one of my bikinis again, or that Ry and Mish were taking me on a shopping trip. Again.
“Poo.” I said bluntly. But suddenly I had an idea. I slowly lowered my head, stuck out my lower lip, and crinkled my forehead as I looked up though my lashes at Matt.
“Matty? Why do I have to go? I don’t need to know that stuff! I’m going to be in a famous band! Just like you Daddy! You don’t need to know math or science! And even if I’m not a good enough bass or piano player, I can dance for a company! Or I can be an artist! I could act too! Daddy please!” I layered it on thick, pitching my voice higher then usual and giving it a damsel – in – distress vibe, never noticing that Matt’s outburst had also brought Val and Mish from their spot in the living room.
I looked at him, batting my lashes and giving a slightly tortured look to my eyes. Matt was caving, I could tell. I had really layered it on thick with the whole dad thing. I hadn’t called him dad before, ever. It astounded me how easily it rolled off my tongue. Matt had only been my dad for about two and a half months and already I was comfortable enough with him to call him the D Word.
Val could also see him breaking under my gaze of pure innocence. “Oh no big boy.” She scolded him, throwing me an apologetic look. “Violet is going to school. She has to. It’s against the law for her not to! Now Zacky can help her with her bass if she wants to continue with that and Brian can help her on the piano. She can take acting and drawing classes. And for sure she will join a dance company, just not instead of school.” Ry had a firm look on her face and I could tell this was no joke. As much as I would love to contradict, I knew there was no budging her on this.
In one short week, I would be a senior at Mayfield School. I would have to make friends, do homework and thrive in the environment I’d once loved. Boy was I in for a ride.

The week passed quicker then I could have imagined. Val took me to buy notebooks, pens and binders. Matt let me drive one of his cars to pick out a pair of new shoes.
It was when I was sitting on a hard plastic chair, lacing up my new Keds, that I realized something drastic. My seventeenth birthday was on the day I would start school. I quickly paid and left the store, jumping into the black hummer and speeding off down the street.
It took me two hours to get everything settled, notebooks labeled, binders organized, pencil case filled. My backpack was packed, my lunch card ready. Everything was set to go that morning when my alarm rang at six thirty.
I slowly sat up in bed, jiggling in time with the beat of Cobra Starship’s Good Girls Go Bad. I hit the button on top of the alarm, silencing the radio as I heard a new noise coming up the stairs.
“You say it's your birthday
It's my birthday too--yeah
They say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you.”
The Beatles serenaded me as my family rushed into my room. Matt had the boom box resting on one shoulder, carrying it like a gangster in what he thought was a hard-core way. Ry was carrying a plate with a large waffle on it, doused in syrup and melted butter with a large ‘17’ candle sticking out of the middle of it. Mish, Jimmy, and Johnny were carrying presents while Zachy, Leana, and Lacy threw confetti around me room and strapped a cone shaped hat on my head, the string snapping up on my chin.
“Happy birthday!” They all yelled after the song had ended, the final ‘Happy birthday to you’ hanging in the air above me.
I ate my breakfast in bed and opened all my presents. Jimmy’s was by far my favorite. He had gotten me a Sims game with all of us on it. He even made one guy named Violet’s super hot future boyfriend. Matty wasn’t too pleased with that but he’d just have to learn to deal with it. I was not giving up the chance at a boyfriend just to assuage his fatherly worries.
“Bye Vi! HEY THAT RHYMES!” Jimmy hugged me as I stood in front of the door, hideous uniform on, backpack in place on my left shoulder.
“Bye Violet. I love you! Have a great first day!” Ry, Matty and the rest of the crew gave me quick hugs then pushed me out the door.
At first, I didn’t see anything unusual as I waltzed towards the garage and the car Matty said I could drive to school. Then I saw it. My baby, my peacock purple mustang convertible with white racing stripes was sitting in the driveway, keys ready in the ignition.
I rushed back into the house to find everyone waiting by the front door, expectant looks on their faces.
“Mommy! Daddy! I love you so much! Thankyouthankyouthankyou! Gotta go! Guna be late! Love you!” I rushed in and swiftly hugged Matt and Val before bolting back out the door, never realizing that I had called them Mom and Dad for the first real time.
I got in my car and just sat there for a minute, relishing the feel of the supple leather seats and the blare of the radio. When I knew I couldn’t hold off any longer, I stepped on the gas, following the not so detailed directions Matt had given me.
I arrived at the school, large wrought iron gates telling me in bold letters that I had reached Mayfield Home of the Bucking Broncos! I drove through the large gates and up the long twisting drive way, following a train of cars past the vast green fields and into a parking lot where I quickly slid into a spot and got out, raising the roof of the car as I did.
I grabbed my backpack and walked inside the huge brick building, following the signs pointing me in the direction of the office.
“Hello. May I help you?” The red haired receptionist smiled sweetly at me, looking up from some papers on her desk.
“Um, yes. My name is Violet… Sanders. I’m new.” I looked around the office, taking in the abstract paintings that decorated the walls and the comfy looking plush chairs sitting in neat rows along the wall.
The lady thumbed through her papers for a minute before letting out a quiet “Aha! Here you are dear. This is your schedule, locker number and combination and school map. Come in here if you have any problems or questions! Have a good day dearie!” She handed me a small stack of papers and pointed me towards the door, letting me know it was time to leave and let her do whatever else she needed to do.
“Two forty-seven… two forty-sevennn…” I mumbled to myself as I searched the locker numbers in the third hall I’d been down.
“Two forty-seven is down this hall and to the right. I’m Jared, by the way.” A masculine voice cut through my thoughts and brought my focus to the boy standing next to me.
He was pretty cute, shaggy brown hair hanging slightly over his jade green eyes. A black shirt emphasized his muscles and skinny jeans showed off his nice butt. As I eyed him up and down I nodded.
“Thanks. By the way, I’m Violet. Sanders, if it matters. And I’m new. But I’m guessing you knew that.” I smirked up at him, curving my lips in a pouty look that attracted almost every man I’d ever tried it on.

He smirked at me, seeming to notice my effort to look appealing, and extended his arm. “Come on. I’ll show you.”
I weaved my arm through his, holding tight as we walked down the bustling hallway and through the maze of people.
“Jared!” I heard a sweet voice ring through the din, reaching us at our current location somewhere in the maze of hallways I had yet to memorize.
“Vana!!!” Jared jumped in excitement, letting go of me and running towards a small girl with platinum blonde hair. He picked her up and swung her around, leaving people cursing as they had to push their way around them. Then I saw her pointing at me, Jared leading her over and laying an arm around her waist.
“Vana, this is my new friend Violet. Violet, this is my girlfriend Vana. Vana’s locker is two down from yours. Ferrah has the one in the middle of the two.” He indicated to each of us in turn, and smiling as if we would all be the best of friends. And standing there in the irritated crowd in my new plaid uniform skirt and starched shirt, I couldn’t help but to believe him.
“Van, Violet plays the bass. And the piano. And she sings!” Jared told the smiling blonde. “Hey babe? Can you please take her to her locker? I’m going to be late.” He told Vana, not even waiting for an answer before pushing off together and running in the opposite direction.
We looked at each other and shrugged; walking off in the direction he had shoved us in.
“So you play any instruments?” I asked her, taking note of what Jared had told her about me and reasoning that she must have some interest.
“Yep!” She smiled happily, her love for music shining through as she pulled me down the hallway. “I play guitar. My friend Ferrah plays the drums. We were planning to make a band. Got any interest?” She looked at me inquisitively, gauging my response before it even left my mouth.
“Wow! I’d love to! My best friend Scarlett and I had always planned on starting a band but never really got the chance. In Bellevue there’s not much of a music scene. We wanted to change that. My bass is named Mindy. My piano is Luna.” I told her, babbling on, loving the first girl-to-girl contact I’d had since I moved here.
She looked at me, excitement showing through her features.
“My guitar is Celest. The drums are Lexi.” She told me, hooking our arms and skipping down the hall in a cloud of excitement.
When we reached our lockers, Vana pulled me to mine, number two forty seven, then stepped to the right to number two forty nine. As I loaded my locker and she unloaded hers, we chatted about my life. Why I had moved here, where I had come from, old friends, hobbies. She asked a lot about my dancing, seeming intrigued by the fact that I had danced in several major productions all over the U.S.
Thankfully, once I said my parents had died, she left that subject alone, seeing that I still couldn’t really talk about it, and asked about everything else. Vana was out there, brave and blunt. She reminded me a bit of Scarlett in that way.
Once I finished telling her about dancing in Swan Lake, she reached over and grabbed my schedule, comparing my class list to hers. We had four classes together, one on days 1, 3, and 5 and three on days 2, 4, and 6.
“Vanaaaaa!” a sing-songy voice started to serenade my new friend. I turned to see a tall girl with bright red hair that no dye could match. Her bright jade eyes were large and perfectly corresponded with her puffy pink lips.
She skipped to a stop in front of us, landing one foot forward with a hand on her cocked hip.
“Hi. I’m Ferrah. Who are you?” She looked at me with child like curiosity, tilting her head to the side in confusion.
“I’m –“ I started to introduce myself to Vana’s friend when she unceremoniously cut me off.
“Ferrah! This is Violet! Duh! Everyone knows Violet! She’s in one of your classes today. Calculus. You better make sure Ms. Moore isn’t her normal nasty self to my new friend!” Vana then turned to me. “Vi, this is Ferrah. She’s the one I told you about who plays the drums. Fer, Violet is going to be in our band! She plays the bass and piano. And I was thinking she should be the lead singer because you can’t even carry a tune and I sound like a dying bat.” Vana’s mouth went off, rapidly spitting out introductions and instructions.
Ferrah looked at me, an eyebrow raised before she broke out in a huge smile, seeming to accept me into their group. “That’s okay with you right? You don’t have to sing if you don’t want to.” She looked at me, measuring my facial expressions before I let out a “Sure!”
Ferrah smiled and winked at Vana. “I think we found ourselves a keeper.” She stage whispered. I smiled at this. I wasn’t expecting to make friends so soon and know I have three. I didn’t think I would fit in with the southern California kids because I was so clearly a NorCal girl.
Vana stole my attention from my thoughts when she hooked an arm around my shoulders. “You know, Vi, it’s SoCal or NoCal.” She smiled at me, reminding me how happy I was not to be alone.

The first half of the day passed quickly, full of new teachers and embarrassing introductions. I was grateful when it was time for lunch and I got to meet up with Ferrah, Vana, and Jarred. Maybe I would even get to meet some of their friends.
“Violet!” Ferrah sang as she waltzed down the hallway with an imaginary partner, quickly making her way to her locker and twisting the dial.
“Yes?” I looked at her in curiosity, unveiled nerves in my eyes.
“Are you ready to meet the rest of our friends? I assure you they’re not as amazing as Van, Jarred and I but they’re pretty cool.” She looked at me, snickering as if she knew something I didn’t. She probably did.
“Oh. Um, sure. Okay.” I laughed nervously as she led me through the winding school hallways and towards what I guessed was the cafeteria.
As we pushed open the mundane tan doors, a wave of noise reached my ears, increasing in volume as we walked farther into the crowded room. We wound through a maze of tables in a seemingly untraceable pattern with no viewable goal. When Ferrah stopped suddenly, I almost knocked into her, sending her into the lap of a guy with sandy brown hair.
“Hell-ooh!” Ferrah sang at the same time as I was greeted with “Violet!”’s from Vana and Jarred, who both got up and rushed to hug me.
“Guys! This is Violet.” Ferrah tugged me away from Vana and Jarred as they tried to pull me out of her grasp.
“Vi, this is Lucyenna, Cory, Hayden and Ken.” Vana pointed everyone out to me. “Lucyenna and Cory are going out, and our very own Ferrah over here is with Ken.” Vana informed me, pointing out the couples.
Lucyenna was beautiful, dark flowing hair, tall and thin. Her eyes were a magnificent shade of blue that put most others to shame. They were the color of blue Gatorade Rain, crisp and pure.
Cory was a blonde, his hair the color of corn silk. He was, by normal standards, gorgeous. His muscular chest showed through his semi tight black short-sleeved uniform shirt. Ken was also blonde. Amazingly ironic, he was the typical preppy jock. His parents named him well. However, it was Hayden who caught my eye. He wasn’t the typical hot type that I usually go for. He was cute, a bit shy but utterly attractive.
As I was looking him over in his school khakis and black polo, his eyes found mine and we simply stared, suspended in time. Something about this guy seemed so pure, innocent, honest. He wasn’t trying to be anything other then himself and for that I was grateful.
“Umhm” Vana cleared her throat and I noticed that I was the only one still standing up. Vana had retaken her seat next to Jarred and Ferrah had made herself comfortable on Ken.
“Oh. Um. Hi. I’m Violet.” I told them, reinforcing what they already knew before heading over to the only open seat, right next to Hayden.

*_*_*_*

A year has passed since I first moved to HB. After about three months I grew comfortable here. Sure, I still missed my parents, but they were dead and I’d miss them forever so I pushed that to the back of my mind.
Ferrah and Vana were my best friends along with Jared who turned out to be like an older brother, protecting me as a sibling should. Lucy and I were close but not as close as Ferr and Van and I. Oh. And I got together with Hayden. Our group was perfectly sectioned off. Vana had Jared. Ferrah had Ken. Lucyenna had Cory. And I had everything I’d ever need in Hayden. Scarlett and I were still on amazingly close terms, sisters separated by unfortunate circumstances. I emailed her almost everyday with details of my ever-changing fast track life.
Mish and Brian had gotten married. Jimmy and Leana were expecting. Zacky had yet to propose to Gena, even though we all knew he was planning it. He even had a ring that he thought nobody knew he had bought. Johnny had broken up with Lacy but, after much urging, come to his senses and gotten down on one knee. The wedding was set for May.
And Mom and Dad? Well I still visited them every chance I got. The KP Adoption Center was doing amazing. Now kids who were unwanted, much as I had been, could find nice caring homes. The one rule of the house was that all the adoptive parents Had to tell their kids that they were adopted. I didn’t want anyone to be caught so off guard as I was.
My life was great. Amazing. More then anyone should ask for. But something was about to kick off. Something that would make my life turn topsy turvy in a way I never expected. But it was the best way it could have done.

“Mom! I’m home!” I screamed to the entry hall, slinging down my large slouchy purse and making my way to the kitchen for a snack. Today I turned 18.
It had been a very busy day. I woke up to Farrah, Vana and Jarred spraying whipped cream in my face and presenting me with a large chocolate cake, which they promptly smashed my face into as well. From there they had given me presents and shoved me in the shower, ranting on about how Hayden would be here in an hour and I needed to get ready for his surprise.
And surprised I was. Hayden had taken me to the County Fair, where we had met up with my Avenged family and watched them play a set before going off on our own. We had seen a movie and he dropped me off, kissing me goodbye with the promise of seeing me tomorrow.
“VIOLET!” Vana screeched, rushing into the room like a professional baseball player sliding into home base for the winning run.
I cocked my head to the side in confusion. Vana wasn’t supposed to be here. Not until later when Lucy and Ferrah and her were supposed to come for my sleepover.
“…Yes?”
“VIOLET!” I heard two more voices serenade. I looked over my shoulder and there stood Ferrah and Lucy.
“Okay, what are you guys doing here?” I demanded, pointing them into the living room where they jumped onto the couch, sitting close to the edge, hyper as anything.
“Violet, we have something amaz-“ Lucyenna was cut off as Vana seemingly could not control herself for a single second longer.
“WE GOT SIGNED!”
oh.
My.
Freaking.
God.

At the beginning of the year, Vana, Ferrah and I had created a band. Cory was our manager and Jarred was our drummer. I played bass and sang while Ferrah was rhythm guitar and Vana was lead. Lucyenna played piano. We called ourselves Grace Period. And since I didn’t want to be known on stage as M. Shadow’s daughter, I was known as Daphne Mathews, my middle and first last name. Lucy was known as Enna. Ferrah was Morgan, using her middle name just as I was, and Vana was Celeste. She had no connection to the name but loved the lunar connotation, saying she wanted to be as big as the moon someday.
“VDK! Violet Daphne Katerina Mathews Sanders!” Vana screamed at me, using the quick nick (as she called it) that consisted of my first three initials.
I screamed and ran full tilt at Jarred, jumping into his arms and laughing hysterically as he spun me around.
This was the best birthday ever. And this was only just beginning.

We have been signed for about a month and working diligently. All of us had decided to put off college for a year to play our music anyways so no one had to head off in the fall. It was September and we had almost finished our first album titled One Chance, One Try, No Regrets better get it right. (A/N NO STEALING! This name is copyrighted and mine. If you steal, I will find you. and feed you to hungry ninjas.) I smiled to myself, remembering the day we had first gone to the recording studio to meet some other Fueled By Ramen bands.
We strode through the lobby, nervous as hell. We had all paid special attention to our appearances today and you could tell. Vana was living up to her stereotype in a rather ironic sense. She was decked out in a white sundress, white strappy wedges and a midnight blue bomber jacket. Her make up was light with baby pink blush and a light shimmery pink covering her eyelids. Her lips were a vibrant red, drawing the attention to the lower portion of her face and upper chest where a delicate silver chain hung with a small, moon shaped pendant.
Ferrah looked stunning in a Kelly green strapless satin baby doll dress that ended just above her knees. Her eyes were smoky and mysterious, dark greys and greens mixing on her pallid skin. Thick mascara framed her jade eyes and her lips were sealed in a slightly shimmery light pink gloss. On her fingers were a large number of rings, glittering in the light of the florescent bulb. Her feet were cased in simple yet elegant black Ruby Girl round toe pumps.
Lucyenna was gorgeous in a plain white tee shirt and a pair of super skinny extra long black jeans. They followed the curves of her legs until puckering and folding at the edge of her green edged wedges. Bracelets littered her wrists like trash at a dump. The stud in her nose was shimmering slightly under the harsh light. The make up on her face was heavy, accentuating her high cheekbones and pouty lips.
Jared was the only one who didn’t really care. He was in a simple ensemble of dark wash jeans and a purple tee shirt. We had urged him to at least make an effort but he refused as any self-respecting 19-year-old boy would.
My attire was only to be expected. I was decked out in a strapless red eyelet baby doll dress with a solid blue band running under the bust line and peacock purple patent leather peep toe pumps. The dress came to about five inches above my knees. My eyes were decorated in purple liner and blue eye shadow and my lips were a vibrant shade of Pucker Up Red. My ears were weighted down by my silver earrings and I had a single necklace hanging to the bottom of my collarbone. The ivy border was worn and familiar, as was the inscription I had read over and over in the past year.
We all steeled ourselves, standing up straighter and unwrinkling our dresses and clicking our heels together in a symphony of nervous habits.
“Um, Hi” We approached the receptionist of the posh office building in which the recording studio was situated.
“We’re Grace Period.” I told her, correctly interpreting her questioning glance. “We’re here to meet more FBR bands and start recording?” Vana explained, the last part of her sentence rising in pitch like that of a question even though I’m pretty sure it was supposed to be a statement.
“Right. Please follow me.” The lady stood up, straightening her fancy black skirt and suit ensemble and started off down the embellished hall.
We stumbled behind her, trying to look as if we belonged, trying to seem mature, sophisticated, ready, and not scared slash excited out of our minds. Our heels clicked as the carpeted hall gave way to hardwood floors.
“Here you are.” The receptionist said, eyeing us with distaste. She pointed us to a mahogany door, a shiny silver plaque letting us know that this was Studio 1. Another, slightly smaller, plastic sign told us that the studio was being occupied by Decaydance FBR – Grace Period.
“Lemme open it!” Jared playfully tried to push me aside. “No.” I told him. I was opening the sacred door and no one could stop me! Jared pouted like a small child being refused a cookie before dinner, looking at me with would be innocent eyes and the smile most would be fooled by. I, however, was not budging.
“Oh cry me an ocean, grab a boat and sail on.” I told him, fighting a smile as I saw him let the puppy dog pout fall and start bouncing in excitement.
I stepped ahead, and grasped the shiny medal knob in my hand, twisting it with a tone of nervous finality. This was it. There was no going back now.
The door swung open, revealing Mitch, our manager, and a couple of people I’ve never met in person but seen splashed all over MTV. Paramore lounged around on the large leather seats while Cobra Starship occupied themselves with the shiny golden and silver records hanging in frames on the wall.
“Hi.” I stepped forward, taking my spot as front man and natural leader of the band. “We’re Grace Period. My name is Violet and this is Vana, Jarred, Ferrah, and Lucyenna. I’m on bass and vocals, Vana is lead guitar, Jarred is drums, Ferrah is rhythm guitar, and Lucy is keys.” I introduced us to the stars in front of us.
“Hey.” They all waved from various points in the room, looking at us interestedly. “Panic! At the disco and The academy is… were supposed to be here too as well as A rocket to the moon but they all are busy on Warped right now.” Hayley Williams from Paramore informed us, looking over our semi formal attire then down at her jeans and t-shirt. “Guess I needed to dress up.” She told us, giggling.
From there we all pretty much let loose. We talked to all the different people and got together with the other bands, talking and mixing until I was sure that we would all be the best of friends if not family.
I was standing in the kitchen, my fork poised over a fresh bowl of macaroni and cheese when Brain came busting in.
“You’re going on tour.” He told me, no joking or happiness present in his voice. I had never heard him like that before and it scared me. He was supposed to be proud, supportive.
“Ye-ah. We all are. Paramore and Katy Parry and a bunch of other cool people are going too. Good Charlotte’s going, they can watch over us. Benji and Joel would never let anything happen to me. You know that.” I said, smiling innocently and popping a bite of cheesy noodle goodness into my mouth.
“You can’t go.” He told me, looking as serious as death.
“Um, yes I can Uncle Brian. Mom and dad said I could. Mom is out shopping right now. She’s really excited. I promise I’ll be safe and take my vitamins and not get onto buses with strangers. I’ll be okay Bri. I promise.” I sent him my best childish yet mature smile, trying to reassure him and ease some of his anger and anxiety.
“You’re. Not. Going.” This time it was louder, his voice raised and pitchy, his face red and eyes set.
I was angry now. Who was he to tell me what I could or couldn’t do? What was safe or not? My mother said I could go and that was exactly what I was planning to do.
“Brian, I’m going. Mom said yes. We already have concert dates and hotels booked and our bus is almost ready. We leave in two weeks. I hope you accept it by then.”
He looked at me, pure rage on his features, obscuring the patient, loving uncle I thought I knew.
“YOU CAN’T GO.” He screamed at me, a vein popping out in his forehead as his face got even brighter then before.
For some reason that I couldn’t comprehend, my favorite uncle, my best friend, was turning against me in what could be the biggest chance of my life. Grace Period was going on tour whether Brian liked it or not, and I for one, couldn’t wait.
It was then that Bitchy Violet returned full force. I was belligerent, selfish, rude and insensitive. Mostly though, I was stubborn. This was my big break and if anyone tried to take it away from me they would face my wrath.
“Watch me.” I told him, smirking and swaying my hips as I sashayed out of the kitchen, up the stairs and into my bedroom, macaroni and cheese in hand.

It was about two hours after I had left Brian in the kitchen, standing there with his mouth open as if he couldn’t quite believe that little Violet Sanders had stood up to big bad Synyster Fucking Gates. I was lounging on my bed, stomach down as my feet jiggled to the pulsing music around me.
“Violet.” My dad came in smiling in a way that was really starting to scare me. He turned off the music and came to sit on my bed. “Vi, what happened with Brian? Usually he can’t shut up about you but now he won’t even talk. Spill. Now.” Dad was upset about this; you could see it on his face. Brian was always angry or happy go lucky. He was never sad. That was just how he was. Brian not talking was a big deal and I knew it better then anyone.
“Sit.” I commanded, preparing to tell the story of what happened and knowing that Dad wouldn’t like it, not one bit. “Brian and I got into a fight.” I told him, looking down in shame. “He doesn’t want me to go on tour. He didn’t even give me a reason! He just said,” I screwed up my face and lowered my voice in a bad imitation, “‘You. Will. Not. Go!’ So after trying to console him and negotiate with nothing working, I told him to Watch Me. Then I left.” I let out a sigh of frustration mixed with sadness. I hate being in fights with Brian.
Dad looked at me, measuring my reaction to the news he was about to give. “But Violet, you Can’t go. Brian was telling the truth. Warped is no place for a seventeen year old. I’m sorry Vi.” He looked sincere, like he really was trying to look out for me. But he didn’t understand. His band had already made it, they were big. He didn’t get the desperation we felt to become popular. After all, bands are nothing without concerts.
I stared at him, comprehension dawning on my stunned features as tears made their way down my flushed cheeks.
“Mom!” I screamed to the silent house. It was as if they were waiting for this. My family was down stairs, listening quietly, waiting for me to blow a fuse. After calling for my mother, I turned to dad. “No.” I told him. “You don’t get to decide this. This is my future, it’s my passion, it’s my place and you have nothing to do with it. You have no say. We made it! We made it big. We’re signed with a label! They want us. And there is no Us without Me. I’m the lead singer! I’m the bassist! I’m going. I didn’t rub my fingers raw on my bass strings and sing my voice hoarse to make it here and then quit. You may think that this is not what’s best for me, but what you don’t realize is that it Is what’s best for me! It’s exactly it! This tour will make us! It will expand out fan base and get us out there! Daddy, please. I know that this is what I need.” I finished my speech and looked at him pleadingly.
“Vi, I know what happens on tour. I know people do. I’ve been there and I’ve done it all. Warped is not a place for seventeen-year-old girls. Especially you. Wait a year then go.” My father had spoken and you could see his deliberation in his rigid stance as he tried to look stern and warning.
But there was no way I wasn’t going on this tour. There was no way I was letting this chance go. There was no way I was letting my band members slash best friends down. There was no way I letting this slip through my fingers. No way.
It was then that I formed a plan. Mom, Mish and all my aunts had to be in on it. They had to help. But at that point, all I was really focused on was packing. I was going to Warped tour whether my father liked it or not. Nothing could stop me and that should have been the very thing that frightened me the most.