Crashing down around me

The ride to Lucyenna’s house was both amazingly quiet and loud. Vana was talking our ears off, planning out every minute of tour, what she would wear and who she would talk to. But, aside from the occasional nod, I was off in my own world, questions whizzing around my head at an incredible velocity. Did Brian know? What had he meant by that? What was I supposed to be careful of? What did I need to watch out for? But most importantly, how much did he know? Would he tell dad? I wasn’t sure.
When we reached Lucy’s house, I saw our bus, loaded and ready. The outside was amazing. It was a deep peacock purple with the Grace Period splashed in white writing. Black paint splatters surrounded the name. The bus was long and sleek, something real rockstars would ride in. Decaydance must have a lot of faith in us because they sure were investing some serious dough.
“I CALL DIBS ON A BOTTOM BUNK!” I screamed, dropping my luggage and pulling Pudz up into my arms as I ran onto the bus. However once I got there, I stopped in amazement.
“Oh. My.”
“GOD!” I hear coming from behind me as Lucy and Vana step on the bus.
“This bus is amazing. Our bus is amazing. This is our bus.” I stood stock straight, knees locked as I looked in awe at our home for the next few months. This was really happening.
The sound of footsteps brought us out of our reverie. “Hey, why are you guys just standing arou-nd?” Ferrah walked up the steps and into the bus, bumping into Vana who bumped into Lucy who coincidentally knocked me over, Puddles jumping from my arms and racing towards the bunks.
“Oops. Sorry.” Was heard from behind us. I turned my head to see a scarlet faced Ferrah, giggling to herself.
“Hey Lucy?” I tilted my head further, trying to look at her face.
“Yeah, Vi?”
“Can you please get off of me?” she giggled and nodded her head, using her arms to push her sweats clad body off of me.
After that we all got out luggage, pushing and pulling the suitcases and bags until everything was safely stored in our very own bunks. The one that was left over was to hold all of our clothes in a giant pile once we got on the road.
“Oh Viii-ohh-lettt!” I heard Jared sing as I finished putting the last of my clothes into a dresser.
“Yes?” I called out to him, not sure if he could hear me over the loud shrieks emanating from Ferrah and Vana.
“Hayden’s here to see you!”
My heart fluttered in anticipation. Hayden was here. He had come to say goodbye. Things had been a little tense since I had told him that GP was going on tour. He didn’t like it. Said he was going to miss me too much. Him coming meant that he had finally accepted it. If he came today, I had been planning to tell him I love him. I do love him, I just hadn’t had the courage yet. I knew that accepting this would be hard for him. And that made him all the more amazing. I loved him. I really did.
My heart skipped a beat as I tripped over my own feet in anticipation. I ran through the bunk hall and out the door, stumbling down the steps and into his arms.
“Hayd! Hayd I’m so glad you’re here. I’m going to miss you so much! Baby, I have something to tell you. Hayden, I lo-“
“I’m breaking up with you.” Hayden’s cold hard face was rigid with indignation, something I hadn’t noticed before because my face had been buried in his neck.
“Wh-what?” incomprehension was spelled out on my face, my unwillingness to have heard him hard with resolve.
“I-am-breaking-up. With you.” He both looked and sounded emotionless, as if he was trying to explain why two plus two equals four to an underdeveloped kindergartner.
“B-but why?” Tears started streaming down my face, smearing last nights mascara and eyeliner into a muddy river.
“Because, Vi. You’re going on tour. You’re going to forget me. you’re not going to want to be held down, held back by a boyfriend you see only once every few weeks. Long distance doesn’t work, Violet. It’ll hurt too much.”
All through his little speech, Hayden’s eyes had lost their annoyance and been filled with another emotion, one that I couldn’t name.
“But it could work! I don’t want to forget you Hayden! I want to be held down! It Will work Hayden! Please. I lo-“
Again I was cut off, but this time he was angry. “Violet. Shut up! I don’t want to be held down! I want to forget you! I don’t want this to work! I don’t want you Violet. It’s as simple as that.” And with that, the man I loved had turned around, gotten in his car, and driven away.
I stood there in the driveway for a few minutes, trying to compute what Hayden had told me, what he had done. We had been perfect. Happy. We had been happy. Now, all I knew about relationships was crumbling around me.
After about ten minutes, slumped on the ground, I picked myself up and walked back to the bus, slowly opening the door and climbing the stairs.
This tour was supposed to be perfect. We were going to tell Dad at the end, have him and all the guys come to the last show. I was even going to fly Hayden out.
Hayden.
The man I loved.
The man who broke my heart.
Life is never perfect. My expectations had been too high.
I should have known it would all come crashing down around me.