I Could Be an Accident but I'm Still Trying

I sighed as I slipped my pink and black checkered vans onto my feet before I made my way out to the car waiting for me in the driveway. My older brother was seated in the passenger seat singing to himself. This was my very first time driving. And saying I was afraid was a serious understatement.

“Ready?” Johnny asked as I sat in the drivers seat and closed the door.

I gave him a look that clearly screamed sarcasm was coming his way, “oh yeah. Of course Johnny, I’m ready to kill myself… and murder you.”

He rolled his blue eyes at me as he ran his hand through his already slightly messy blond hair, “good. Now lets go.”

I took a deep breath as I slipped on my seatbelt. I almost started hyperventilating when I turned the key. Johnny just laughed at how ‘stupid’ I was apparently being, then explained which petal did what. I knew pretty much everything else from watching him for the last week.

“Fern, chill out. You’re gonna be just fine we’ll just drive around here on the back roads for a little while and then I’ll drive us to DQ… sound good?” Johnny asked as he started to flip through the CDs he kept in the car.

“I guess so,” I breathed. I was gripping the wheel so tight my knuckles were white.

I slightly pressed on the gas petal and the car started to creep forward. I pressed a little harder and somehow –by some God given miracle- I managed to get us out of the driveway and onto the road without putting us in the ditch.

“See, this isn’t so bad!” Johnny smiled that smile that had caught so many girls hearts. He pushed a CD into the player then said, “Now just go a little faster.”

“Faster?” I cried as The Devil Wears Prada started to come though the speakers, “I’m already going 20! And you want me to go faster? Are you mad? I’ll kill us if I do!”

He outright laughed at that, “You seriously need to take a chill pill. Would I be in this car with you if I thought you were going to end up harming me in any way?”

I thought about it for a second, “probably?”

“No” he stated, “now speed up a little.”

I sighed as I did what I was told. I sped up to a whopping 30 miles per hour! I was living dangerously. And putting my brother and myself in harms way… but I was enjoying it a little. I had to take deep breaths to keep myself calm. But other then that I seemed to be fine. I gradually started to loosen my death grip on the steering wheel as Johnny started singing along with the song. His voice always soothed me… even when he was screaming in his band.

“Better?” he asked after a few minutes of almost calm.

“Much… thank you.” I smiled never taking my eyes off of the road.

“It’s what I’m here for.” he chuckled.

I slowly started to take a corner, when out of nowhere an 18-wheeler came barrelling past me.

“Holy Sweet Mother Of God!” I cried as I practically had a heart attack. My knuckles were white again and I was breathing heavily, “Damn You Optimums Prime! Damn You Back To That Shit Hole Of A Planet You Came From!”

Johnny was practically peeing his, slightly tight, black pants. He was laughing so hard he somehow managed to get himself in a very strange position.

“What’s wi-with you and dissing Optimums?” he asked once he managed to slightly calm down.

I was slightly calmer now too, but my heart was still racing, “nobody likes Prime… he’s a twat.”

“But you like Transformers.” he stated

“So? I like Twilight but I don’t want to bang R. Patz… or his character for that matter.”

“What?” Johnny asked, sounding quite confused, “you’re not aloud to bang anyone, ever! And who’s R Pezz?”

“Whatever, and its R Pat-zzz. Not Pezz.” I corrected.

“Mmhmmm… I think you should speed up some more.”

I took a deep breath and pressed slightly harder on the gas to bring my speed up to 40, “there! Just because I know you wont leave me alone until I do.”

“Oh come on! 40?” he whined, “pussy.”

I pressed a little harder and brought it up to 50. I was not a pussy! And he knew damn well I wasn’t. Though I found myself quite terrified at the speed I was traveling, only because it was me behind the wheel.

“Still a pussy.” he sang.

I huffed in annoyance and brought it up to 60, “there! That’s it! This is my first time driving, so don’t push me!”

“Come on Fern… you drive like Optimums Prime.”

I knew for a fact that Prime didn’t drive under the speed limit, but by no means was I going to be told I was driving like him. I quickly sped up to 100. I was going to stay there too no matter what Johnny said.

“Now that’s more like it” he complimented, “you drive much better when you’re flustered.”

I quickly shot him a glare, not daring to take my eyes off of the road for more then a few seconds.

“Here’s a tip for staying straight and in your lane. Just look straight ahead of you… somewhat at the horizon and follow that point. If you keep looking at the road that’s right in front of you, you end up kinda jerking the car around.” he explained.

I did just as he said to do, and it actually worked, “thanks for finally being helpful, but that tip would have been just as nice when we first started this little endeavour.”

“Meh… I didn’t think of it.” he chuckled.

The rest of the ride went surprisingly smoothly seeing as I was a bundle of nerves. Though every time a car drove by I could scream that it was going to hit us. We were almost back at the house, and in one piece!

I eased on the breaks a couple houses away from ours just to make sure our mother didn’t see me speeding. She already wasn’t happy about Johnny taking me out for a practice drive.

Suddenly, as if God wanted me to crash the car, a little white cat ran into the middle of the road. I screamed and tried to swerve around the little creature.

“Jesus Fern!” Johnny cried as he grabbed the wheel and began to steer the car saving us from going in the ditch.

He ended up steering us into the driveway where we parked the car in its usual spot. I was still shaking from almost hitting the stupid cat. I just sat there stunned as Johnny undid his seatbelt and opened the door. He got out and looked back into the car.

He looked at me emotionlessly, “you’re an idiot.”

With that he shut the car door and walked to the house. I looked forward towards the small patch of trees that grew in-between our house and our neighbours home, and slammed my head into the steering wheel. If that was what driving was really like then I couldn’t wait to start!