Until You're Mine

I stared at Jared from across the room. His blonde hair fell into his eyes making him seem a whole lot more mysterious than he really is. His friends were cracking jokes while girls at surrounding tables seemed to melt at the sound of his laughter.

My state of mind has finally
Got the best of me

I ate some more of my lunch trying my best to block out the sound of his laugh. I shouldn’t be thinking of him, I had no chance. Still, I looked at the empty chair next to me, envisioning him sitting there.

I need you next to me

I got up from my seat in the lunchroom and walked to my next class. The rest of the day went like any other, except it was the last day of school. Next school year would be different, I would be different, better.

I'll try to find a way that I
Can get to you
Just wanna get to you

As the new school year drew nearer, I became restless. I wanted school to start, and soon. Over summer I had… changed. My usually loose fitting clothes were traded in for form fitting ones. I grew two inches and started taking better care of myself. I was signed up for fall soccer. I was different, better.
I had completely forgotten about Jared, until one night, in my dreams.

The world I see is perfect now
You're all around
With you I can breathe

When I got back to school I walked the halls with my head held high. This was who I am, confident.

Until you're mine, I have to find
A way to fill this hole inside
I can't survive without you here
By my side
Until you're mine, not gonna be
Even close to complete
I won't rest until you're mine
Mine...

I was allowed out of second period early, so when I made my way to my locker, the halls were empty. A few tears made their way down my cheek; no one had noticed me today, no one. I hadn’t made any friends, I was the same as last year, friendless, alone.
I hadn’t seen Jared yet. When I thought I saw him, thought I heard him call my name over the bustle of the crowd, it was just my imagination.

Alone inside
I can only hear your voice
Ringing through the noise

Jared wasn’t at school during the whole first week of school. I was still friendless, still alone. I had changed for nothing, yet I couldn’t help but like the new me. She was strong, above waiting around for a boy yet not above trying.

Can't find my mind
Keeps on coming back to you
Always back to you

Two weeks into school Jared showed up. I heard him explaining to his friends that he was away on vacation, that that was why he couldn’t talk to them for the three weeks. I was glad he didn’t move away, that was what I had started to think had happened. He was back! I was so happy. He and I had the exact same schedule, which, I admit was kind of weird, but I could deal. For the first class of the day on the day he returned he walked right past me, not even looking up. It was only then that I realized he was out of my league.

Wanted something out of reach
It's killing me
You're all I see
Yeah

All through the day he didn’t even look towards me, I was invisible. Still, I held my head high, never giving up. As I kept being silently rejected I grew more and more incomplete. I needed to be with him, I needed him to be mine.

Until you're mine, I have to find
A way to fill this hole inside
I can't survive
Without you here by my side
Until you're mine
Not gonna be
Even close to complete
I won't rest until you're mine
Mine...

And then one day it happened.
“Marissa?” Jared asked, his hand on my shoulder to let me know that he was behind me.
“Hmmm?” came my response; I didn’t know it was him.
“I’ve been thinking about you.” It was then that I turned around to see who the person was. It was a strange statement.
“Wha-? Jared?” I couldn’t believe my eyes.
“Yeah, that’s me,” he smiled. “You’ve changed.” I gave him a questioning look. Changed? “In a good way,” he added quickly.
“Oh.” The bell rang signaling the end of art class. I grabbed my notebooks and started walking out of the class. “So, what’s up?”
“I just wanted to talk. Like I said, I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately.”
“What do you mean?” This was really odd.
“I’ve been wondering, do you think we were…”
“Meant to be?”
“Yeah.” What would my answer be? He only just now noticed me, was it worth it?
“I don’t know.”

Just stop wondering
If we were meant to be

“Do you think it’s fate?” Jared asked, looking into my eyes.
“Do I think what’s fate?”
“Us.” He pulled me into his arms, holding me as the halls cleared out for the day.

Forget about fate
And just hold me

“Maybe.” I wanted to be with him, more than anything else.

I'm ready to begin
The waiting has to end
Right now
Today
I've gotta find a way

I couldn’t believe I had just said that. Maybe!? Yes! It was fate! It needed to be, had to.
“Are you doing anything tonight?” It was a Friday and with only one friend (yes, I finally made a friend!) I had nothing going on.
“No.” Was he going to ask me out? I hoped so.
“Do you want to see a movie with me tonight?” YES!!

Mine...
Until you're
Mine...

“Sure.” I wanted to scream, to dance, to sing. Was this really happening?
“Great, I’ll pick you up 6:30.” And with that Jared walked away, to his locker then to his car, which would take him to his home. I was extremely happy, I had a date with Jared.
“Did that really just happen?” came the cold voice of Jada. She was known to get any guy that she wanted, and if she didn’t want you to go on a date with someone, you didn’t; she ruled the school. “You’re not going to that movie with him tonight.” She knew that no one would dare go against her word.
“I think I will,” I said, walking off to my locker, leaving her behind, shocked that someone didn’t care about what she said. I smiled to myself. I was invincible today.

Until you're mine, I have to find
A way to fill this hole inside
I can't survive
Without you here by my side
Until you're mine
Not gonna be
Even close to complete
I won't rest until you're mine
Mine...

My state of mind
Has finally got the
Best of me
I need you next to me...