Heaven-Sent.

"Why do you have that feather there? Framed on the wall?" Frank frowns and points to the sparkling white feather, captured within a medium-sized black frame. Mikey put it up yesterday, feeling slightly sentimental as it has been a year since he met the angel, and he's scared of forgetting it. He's scared of forgetting the angel's kind eyes that reminded him of his own, and the safety of the big, white wings. "It looks funny," the short, dark-haired man giggles, and Mikey forces a smile.

"I just like it, okay? I think it's beautiful and I want people to see it." He sighs and sinks back into the couch, stretching his long legs out in front of him. They have just finished watching a movie, and Mikey can't help but feel a little sleepy, due to being all warm and comfy. He slouches a little so he can put his head on Frank's shoulder comfortably, and the dark-haired man responds by putting an arm around his shoulders.

"You've been so weird lately, Mikey. I don't know if it's since we broke up, or since we started hanging out again, but you're not the same. You're not the same Mikeyway I used to know." Frank sighs heavily, running his thumb up and down Mikey's arm like he always does, or did. Mikey's not sure what they are now, or what tense to use to describe them.

"Me being weird is the reason we broke up, Frank," Mikey mutters and moves out of Frank's embrace, getting up and walking out into the kitchen. His hands are shaking as he busies himself with making coffee, and his eyes are squeezed shut as he fights back the angry tears in them. He'll never be able to forgive himself for ruining the one and only good relationship he ever had because of something that was probably nothing more than an absurdly realistic dream. When he had found the feather on his pillow he had been so absorbed by the thought of Gerard being real. His mind had been completely void of everything else, and when it occurred to him that his family and boyfriend had been worried about his strange disappearance, he didn't know how to explain it.

So he didn't. He had explained to no one where he had been or why he hadn't let anyone know that he had been going away. His parents had stopped asking after a few weeks, but Frank just wouldn't let it go. He kept asking questions that Mikey couldn't answer, and eventually they came to an inevitable end. They only started hanging out again a few months earlier, after running into each other in the bookstore where Mikey worked. Mikey missed Frank's touches and kisses like they were a drug, but he missed the safety of Gerard's embrace even more.

"I miss you, you know that, right?" Frank speaks from behind him, before slowly approaching. He feels Frank's hand settle on top of his own that is gripping the counter tightly, and Frank's face is pressed lightly against his upper back. "I want you back and, no matter what happened a year ago, I forgive you. As long as you tell me." Mikey feels Frank step closer, and his other arm wraps around Mikey's waist.

"Frank, I can't tell you." Mikey turns around and looks down to meet Frank's dark hazel eyes that almost resembles Gerard's. "It's not that I don't want to, because I do, but I really just can't tell you. You wouldn't understand."

"What," Frank scoffs, "CIA threatened to kill you if you told anyone?" Mikey only smiles and shakes his head. "Then what? Were you with somebody else?" Frank's eyes are full of hurt and confusion, much like every other time the subject has been brought up and Mikey has refused to give him any answers. "I just want the truth, Mikey."

"Just drop it, Frank." Mikey turns back around to get his coffee, before walking out of the kitchen and leaving Frank. He sits down in the living room, staring at the wall and holding his coffee so tightly in his hands that it burns his skin. He's angry; angry at Gerard for messing up his mind and life, angry at Frank for breaking up with him and still not letting the subject go, and angry at himself for holding on to the memory instead of moving on with Frank.

"I'm going now. I'll see you around?" Mikey looks up at Frank and nods, when Frank leans in and kisses him sweetly on the cheek, and then on the lips. It's weird and awkward, considering they haven't kissed in almost a year, and were arguing just minutes earlier, but it's fortunately over just in seconds. When Frank finally leaves, the apartment feels more empty and quiet than it ever has before, and Mikey decides to just finish his coffee and have a shower before going to bed.

A hot shower is definitely one of the most soothing and calming things Mikey knows and once he's there, having one, he never wants to get out; he'd rather stay under the spray of water until everything bad has been washed away. He stays there for over an hour, just leaning against the white tiles on the wall as the water runs down his back and down the drain. He lets the tears stream invisibly down his face, and all sounds are quickly swallowed by the water.

Once the tears stop falling, he steps out of the cubicle and wraps a towel around his waist and, not noticing the rather big pool of water that has formed on the slippery tiles, he slips and falls backwards to fast to be able to regain his balance. He never actually hits the floor, though. His skin burns as two strong hands hold him and pull him back on to his feet, and his eyes widen as they meet Gerard's.

His mouth drops open in an 'o' shape, but he doesn't speak. He still feels Gerard's burning hot hands on his bare, still rather wet skin, and the feeling is so familiar he doesn't believe that it's been a whole year since he last saw the angel. He feels at home under Gerard's touch and wants nothing more than to lean into it, to leap into Gerard's embrace and feel the sweet inviting heat all over his chest and against his arms and face. He wants to feel Gerard's hands run all over his back, and he wants the huge, glittering white wings to wrap him into a cocoon of heat and comfort again.

The wings seem even bigger than they had the previous year, and they seem whiter too, but Mikey assumes that it's because they are crammed into a tiny bathroom, and the white tiles on the walls are actually a little off-white. He inwardly thanks himself for getting eye surgery the year before, just in case he'd get abducted by an angel again, because now he can see all the details on Gerard's face that he never noticed before. His nose is rather pointy, and his cheekbones are accentuated just enough. His mouth is rather small, but the lips are pink and soft-looking, and his smile is kind of lopsided, but it suits his face.

He's hit by a sudden urge to punch him, for fucking him up and ruining his life, and then when it's finally starting to look brighter again, he pops back in as if it's nothing. He stays calm down, and just lets his eyes wander over the angel's body and his wings, and back to his face to meet his eyes again, bright and golden just like he remembers from his dreams. "You're here..." he whispers, completely mesmerized. He lifts a hand up to touch Gerard's chest, but when he's just millimeters away, Gerard takes a step backwards and releases his still firm grip on Mikey's upper arms.

"I should go." Gerard takes another step away from him, looking uncertain due to Mikey's terrified, almost panicking face. The wings twitch nervously, and as Gerard turns around they almost knock all of Mikey's hair products off their shelf. It would have been funny if it wasn't so strange and upsetting. The angel looks completely misplaced in the small bathroom, and he wants to leave, but Mikey can't let him escape like that again.

"Don't go, please. Not yet," Mikey says as firmly as he can and reaches for Gerard's hand. He wants to reach out and run his fingers over the closest wing too, but he doesn't dare to let go of the towel around his waist, so he just watches them. He steps closer carefully, holding the warm hand in his to make sure Gerard doesn't go anywhere, and to silently let him know that Mikey only wants him to stay. "They're bigger... they really are bigger," he breathes, looking up at the wings in awe, and then at Gerard's face that is so much closer now. "How?"

"They never stop growing," Gerard replies quietly, looking down to avoid Mikey's eyes. "I need to go." Gerard's voice is a bit more urgent now, and he tugs slightly on Mikey's hand to free his own. Mikey's grip just tightens, though, and as he moves closer he catches Gerard's gaze again.

"Please stay; you only just got here. Don't just leave again..." Mikey pauses, staring intensely into Gerard's eyes as he tries not to feel awkward about the position they're in. They're so close, their chests are almost touching, and Mikey is too-almost-naked to be really comfortable. Their faces are so close they could kiss, if only Mikey tilts his face a little and leans in, but he doesn't, even if he would love to have Gerard's burning lips on his own again. He doesn't want to scare him away.

He manages to surprise both himself and Gerard with his next move, wrapping both arms around Gerard's body that seems to be working much like a radiator, and the heat surging through Mikey's body is like an electric shock. He pulls himself closer to Gerard and buries his face in the angel's dark hair, breathing slowly. He gasps loudly as Gerard's arms suddenly come up to circle Mikey's back, and the heat that surrounds him is almost becoming too much. It's like being in a sauna, but better because the heat is inside his own body, and it doesn't make him sweat or feel weak. He is starting to feel a bit dizzy, though. "Why do you want me to stay so badly?" Gerard whispers softly, clutching Mikey's body tightly.

"Because... you're an angel," Mikey breathes, slowly as if every breath takes an immense amount of energy. "Because... when you're here, I forget how much I've fucked up my life. I forget how much I've fucked it up because of you." He breaks free of the embrace, breathing in deeply as the much colder air washes over him. He grabs onto the counter top to not collapse on the floor, and grabs his towel with the other hand as he feels Gerard's eyes on him. "I need... I have to-" He pushes past Gerard and out through the bathroom door, not caring about the mess Gerard's wings are creating in the bathroom as everything is just flying off of the shelves.

He hears Gerard going after him, and stops just outside his bedroom door. "Just stay here, okay?" Mikey says quickly, and then continues. "I just need to be alone right now, but please, stay." He doesn't wait for a reply, but runs into his room and closes the door before leaning against it and sinking down on the floor.

He relaxes a bit once he's completely out of Gerard's presence, not only because the air is a lot cooler and easier to breathe, but because it was hard to even think when they were so close and touching and wearing so little. After a few minutes of just thinking, he gets up and puts on clothes, and even laughs a little as he thinks that it's the first time he won't be shirtless in front of Gerard.

When he opens his bedroom door again, Gerard is standing in the middle of the hallway, exactly where Mikey had left him. He looks concerned. "Are you okay?" Mikey suddenly wants to hug Gerard again, sweep himself into his gigantic wings and fall asleep in their heat, because it's late and he is tired, but he doesn't do any of these things. "I shouldn't be here," Gerard murmurs and the wings twitch just like they did before. They're so big they almost hit the ceiling, and Gerard looks small where he stands in front of them, as if they don't belong to his body at all.

"I'm fine, I just... I wanna talk to you. Hang out, or whatever." Mikey walks past him and nudges Gerard's side to get him to follow him into the kitchen. He feels Gerard watching him as he stops by the coffeemaker, and almost laughs out loud as he sees the angel leaning against the door post, looking really casual. "Do you want coffee or something?" He empties the pot of the cold coffee from before and puts on a new one, making it enough to last the whole night, because he's planning to stay awake with Gerard.

"Uh, I... sure. Why not? I always wondered what's so special about it," Gerard speaks hesitantly, and it seems like he's beating himself up inside for agreeing to it. He misreads Mikey's curious looks, though. "I know you drink it a lot, so it has to be good." Gerard gives a small smile and Mikey nods, turning back to the coffeemaker even if it was already going and there was nothing else for him to do.

Then, he thinks about what Gerard just said. "How do you know that I drink a lot of coffee?" he asks, giving the angel a confused look.

"I'm your guardian angel, Mikey. I always know what you're doing. Usually I'm here to watch over you, too. You just can't always see me, you're not supposed to," Gerard explains, and Mikey's mouth forms an 'o' shape as he nods, understanding. Of course the angel knows about his habits and daily patterns, he's most likely been with him every minute of every day, all of his life. Gerard probably knows him better than Mikey knows himself. Gerard has seen him at his strongest, at his happiest, at his saddest and at his weakest. He's been there for the entire past year; he has seen Mikey with Frank.

"By always, do you really mean always?" he asks, meeting Gerard's glowing eyes nervously. Gerard steps closer, accidentally knocking over an empty coffee mug on the kitchen counter with his wing, and smiles awkwardly, reflecting the way Mikey feels inside. Mikey wonders if angels can blush, and decides against it, because Gerard really looks like he should be blushing, but his face is as pale and white as usual. His own face is heating up, though.

"Yeah, always." They're silent after that, just waiting for the coffee to get done so they can leave the kitchen and the embarrassing topic of their discussion. Once the coffee is ready, Gerard has already disappeared back in to the living room, and Mikey doesn't even worry about him having taken off because he can hear things falling over every other minute. He doesn't hear anything that actually breaks, though, so he doesn't think too much about it as he pours the coffee into two large mugs, and puts them on a tray along with milk and sugar for Gerard since he doesn't know how the angel likes it. He prefers his own to be naturally black, and wonders how Gerard will have, and if he'll like it at all.

"I'm sorry about the mess," Gerard apologizes as soon as Mikey steps into the living room where CDs and magazines are spread out over the floor, and the tiny porcelain dog that Frank had found at a garage sale, has been knocked over on the coffee table. Gerard is standing by the wall, just in front of the framed feather, facing it. "It's cute that you framed it," the angel says and turns to look at Mikey who has placed the tray on the coffee table and is sitting down in the couch.

"Well, I'm glad somebody likes it," Mikey sighs, taking a sip of coffee. He wishes now that he had never put the stupid thing on the wall, because of Frank's reaction, and how Gerard was almost making fun of him. That's what it felt like, at least. It was a silly thing to do, too. Like a school girl putting up photographs of a boy she's crushing on, that's how he feels, and it's stupid and embarrassing. Maybe that's his problem, though, that he is crushing on Gerard, a goddamn angel.

"He didn't mean to insult you, y'know. He doesn't want to hurt you," Gerard says softly as he sits down, legs crossed, on the couch, sideways and close to the edge so that the wings can fall down behind him. "He's worried about you, Mikey. He cares a lot about you, just like you care a lot about him." Gerard reaches out for his coffee, and Mikey watches him with wide eyes as the angel takes a large gulp, not making any faces about the heat or the bitter taste. "Not bad," Gerard shrugs and gives Mikey a small smile. "You shouldn't push him away like you've been doing. It's hurting you and it's hurting him. That's not how it's meant to be."

"It's not my fault, okay? He just doesn't understand. He doesn't trust me," Mikey spits out, glaring at nothing in particular. "Do you even know what that means? Do you know anything about what it's like to be in a relationship? Do you know what it's like to be in love with somebody and not be able to tell them why and how you just disappeared for a day?" As Mikey rants, Gerard is just eyeing him thoughtfully.

"And do you know what the worst part is?" Gerard shakes his head. "I don't even know if I am in love with him, if I ever was." The anger in his eyes is replaced with pure sadness, and Gerard reaches out and places his warm hand on top of Mikey's. "When I'm with you, or if I just think about you, he's completely wiped from my mind. Last year, he called me shortly after you brought me back here, and I could barely recognize his voice. Not even once did I think about him that day by the lake. Only you." The back of his hand feels warm as Gerard rubs his thumb over it. "What kind of person forgets about their boyfriend like that?"

"You just need to let go, Mikey. Let go of the memory, of me, and forget that day. Once you've let go of it, things can go back to normal and he'll forget about it to." Gerard's voice is dark and deep, soft like velvet and not at all raspy like Mikey remembered it from his dreams. It's soothing. "I shouldn't have left that feather for you, it was the most stupid thing I have ever done, and I'm sorry. If I had known you'd get so... attached, I would have been more careful." Gerard squeezes Mikey's hand reassuringly, but still, a cold and lonely tear falls from Mikey's dark eyes.

"I want to let go, Gerard. Tonight, I wanted to forget more than ever. But I can't." He's silent as Gerard shuffles a little closer and wraps an arm around Mikey's back. The healing warmth spreads through his ribcage and to the front of his chest, his heart and lungs, but it's still not enough. "I was crying before, Gerard. I was crying because I wanted nothing more than to see you again, just to let me know I haven't gone insane."

He leans his head on Gerard's bare shoulder, and the skin-on-skin contact feels amazing. "I'm selfish. I want to be with him, but I also want to have you." Mikey's voice is just a low whisper. "A few hours ago, I wanted nothing more than for you to disappear from my head, but now that you're here again, I don't want to let you go; I can't."

He wraps his arms around Gerard's neck in an uncomfortable hug, due to their strange position, but as long as Gerard's heavenly heat is radiating through his clothes and into his own body, Mikey doesn't care. Gerard doesn't hug him back. "You need to stop this now, Mikey. If you don't, it will only hurt more." After another few seconds, Gerard pushes him away. "My job is to be your guardian angel, Mikey. I'm supposed to help you, to save you. To protect you from getting hurt." Gerard pauses, bringing a hand up to Mikey's face and wipes his tears away. "Not hurt you myself."

"Then why did you show yourself to me?" Mikey asks, which catches Gerard slightly off guard. "Before, you said that I wasn't supposed to see you, but that you are pretty much always with me. Why did you show yourself?"

"Because I had to get you out of the fire!" Gerard raises his voice which surprises Mikey; it's not something he expected from the calm, peaceful angel.

"Then why didn't you open the window for me or something? You could have helped me to get out on my own. Isn't that what you're supposed to do? Help people without them knowing?" Mikey's voice is getting louder and more pitched as well, and Gerard looks as if wants to just disappear, which he probably could, but he won't.

Instead, he lowers his vice again, to its standard low-key mode. "Yeah, that's what we're supposed to do." Gerard looks down at his lap and moves his wings a little, stretching them, but not spreading them out completely. "I was late. I was called away by some Elders just an hour earlier, and I thought it would be okay to go, but then I got back, and you were nearly unconscious." He pauses, and the look on his face is so guilty that if Mikey hadn't been so wound up, he would have sympathized with him. "After that, I needed to take you away and heal your lungs, but you woke up and saw me, and there was nothing I could do. I did what I thought was for the best."

They are both quiet for a long time, trying to figure out what to say or do. Mikey's still angry and upset, but he wants to forgive Gerard, because the angel had obviously taken a risk when he showed himself. He can't help but wonder why Gerard has showed himself again, though, and why he left the feather last year. "But why are you here now? Why did you leave the feather?" Mikey looks at him curiously, and Gerard's golden eyes look back.

"I don't know. I think I wanted you to remember me, but that didn't exactly turn out how I wanted it to be." Gerard stops to think about what he's going to say next, how he should explain exactly what he's doing here, right now. "I just needed to talk to you tonight. It's been a year, and I just can't stand seeing you moping around anymore. It's my fault, and I wanna help you. I need to." He looks down and sighs heavily. "I guess I only messed it up even more, though."

"No, you didn't mess it up more. It already was as bad as it could get," Mikey whispers. "I can't explain it, though." He looks at Gerard thoughtfully, shifting closer to his warm body again. "I mean, I think I'm in love with Frank, but then there's you." He reaches up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind Gerard's ear. "When I think about you, time seems to stop and rush forward at the same time. When I think about that night by the lake... All I remember is feeling so safe." Gerard's golden irises are like rings of fire surrounding the black pupils, and Mikey can't look away. He brings his lips to Gerard's, and it's like kissing fire too.

He pulls back with a gasp, but he stays so close that he's sure Gerard can feel his breath on his face. He closes his eyes carefully as he cups Gerard's cheek in his hand, and his fingertips burn pleasantly as he kisses Gerard again, just as the angel tries to whisper "Mikey," in a don't-do-it type of voice. He tilts his head just a tiny bit to the right to avoid colliding with Gerard's pointy nose, and he swallows a moan, deep down in his throat as he pulls Gerard's red hot bottom lip in between his own.

When he pulls back, mere seconds later, his eyes open again to meet Gerard's, and he instantly wants to kiss him again, and do more than just that, but there's an internal battle going on in Gerard's fiery eyes, and it holds Mikey back. He withdraws his hand, only sliding the thumb over Gerard's hot lips before letting it fall down to his lap.

He feels exhausted, all of a sudden, and as he throws a glance towards the DVD player, the blue glowing numbers tell him that it's 3:40 in the morning, and he's meant to get up for work in roughly two hours. His eyelids are drooping and he can't focus on what he wants to think about, not even the thoughtful expression on Gerard's face. "I'm tired," he yawns, rubbing his eyes, and he feels Gerard's hand on his wrists, and then his shoulders, as the angel is laying him down on the couch, head resting on Gerard's lap.

Gerard's fingers are twirling softly in his hair, and Mikey smiles up at him.

"Go to sleep."

*

When he wakes up, there's a shining white feather in his hand.