Heaven-Sent.

Mikey's head is buzzing slightly as he takes a swig of his third beer, hunched over the bar in his hotel. The dark room is hot and smoky, and small beads of perspire are forming on Mikey's forehead. For once, the smoke doesn't bother him, a white cancerous stick held firmly between his middle and index fingers. It's been a long time since he last had a smoke, but sitting in that bar, alone, on this day of all, he just needed one.

He takes a drag, inhaling deeply, before letting it go, and there's some sort of great serenity settling all over and around him. He feels tired, and his head aches from the loud music that is just an annoying thump-thump in a rhythm that's too computerized to even feel good. The smoke and booze makes that fade away, though, and Mikey gladly sits there as the bad things just go away.

When he feels the cigarette burning his fingertips, he puts it out in the ashtray to his right, and when he looks up towards the door, he sees the blond man who had offered it to him just minutes earlier. He comes back over, slipping his cell phone back into his pocket as he sits down with a smile directed towards Mikey. His eyes are blue and rather pretty, and Mikey can't help but smile back. "Thanks again for the cigarette. God knows I needed it."

"No problem, man. You looked pretty desperate there for a while." Mikey watches as the blonde raises a hand to wave over the bartender, ordering two beers. When Mikey opens his mouth to protest, he simply says: "I might let you buy the next round, don't worry." Mikey accepts it and smiles before downing the remains of his current beer.

"What brings you here?" Mikey asks casually, putting the glass back down. "I don't think I've seen you around here before. In town, I mean."

"No, I'm from Chicago. I'm just here visiting a friend who's in the hospital." He smiles sadly before taking a sip of his beer, and Mikey is hit by a sudden urge to reach out and touch his bearded cheek. "I'm heading back home tomorrow, though, so it's too bad that I didn't meet you sooner." Mikey feels a faint blush heat up his cheeks, but he hopes that the dark will conceal it.

"You live here?" the man asks and Mikey nods. "Then why are you staying at the hotel? Wife threw you out?" At this, Mikey laughs and tries his hardest to stifle his most girly giggles.

"No," he finally says and shakes his head, looking down at his hands that are resting on the bar disk. "I'm getting married tomorrow, and our relatives are rather traditional and very intent to keep us apart for the night." The blue eyed man nods thoughtfully. "So I'm stuck here for the night with nothing more to do than make sure I'll have a hungover when I say 'I do'."

"Is it at least a pretty girl?"

"No, but a pretty boy," Mikey replies, hoping that he hasn't misread the man that he is fairly sure is gay. The way he flirted with him when he first offered Mikey a cigarette was enough of a clue anyway. The man doesn't say anything about it, but nods acceptingly, and they sink in to a slightly strange silence. It's not exactly awkward, but neither man is sure of what to say anymore.

"I'm going out for some fresh air, a cigarette or two," the blonde man excuses himself as he stands up, and before he can bid Mikey a goodnight and walk away, Mikey has stood up too and asked if he can steal another cigarette and come with him. "Sure, why not. I'm Bob, by the way." He smiles with his blue eyes, and the strange, semi-awkwardness is broken.

"I'm Mikey."

The air outside of the hotel is warm, but it's cooler than inside and it's a relief to breathe fresh air. Mikey takes the promised cigarette and lighter from Bob's hand and lights it up before handing the lighter back. He leans against the brick wall of the building and looks out across the empty street, inhaling long drags of smoke and exhaling in deep sighs. There are too many things on his mind, and even if the beer numbed the edges of it a little, it's no way near enough.

"Are you sure you actually want to get married tomorrow?" Bob asks, and Mikey turns his head to the left to look at him. "You really don't seem that excited about it. You seemed almost depressed earlier, and it seemed more serious than common homesickness." They're standing shoulder against shoulder, but Mikey somehow thinks that that's a little too close to be really comfortable.

"It's nothing. Of course I want to get married, it's just..." He pauses and takes another long drag of his cigarette as Bob watches him intensely, piercing blue eyes studying him closely. "I guess it's cold feet, y'know?" Bob nods, but Mikey continues anyway. "I just... I can't be sure that I'm making the right decision. That it's the right time, and that he's the right guy." Mikey looks down and then across the empty road again, sighing softly as he feels Bob's hand on his wrist, and his thumb rubbing gently over the back of his hand. It's a small and subtle gesture, but it's soothing and reassuring.

"I guess I'm scared of getting disappointed, and of disappointing him." Mikey turns his head back to look at Bob, and suddenly the blue eyes are so close and he can feel Bob's smoky breath on his face. Bob leans his face a little closer, making their lips meet, and Mikey is tasting Bob's mouth. It's bitter from the beer and smokes, Mikey's mouth is too, but there's something sweet luring in the background in the way Bob tastes.

Bob pulls away. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..." He stops there as Mikey's lips are on his again, kissing him more persistently now. Mikey drops his almost finished cigarette to the ground, immediately bringing his hand up to the back of Bob's head to bring him closer and deepen the kiss. Bob's cigarette falls to the ground too, and Mikey lets himself be pushed up against the wall, moaning inaudibly into Bob's mouth as the blonde's thigh easily spreads Mikey's legs and presses against Mikey's growing erection.

"You wanna go up to my room?" Bob pulls away just enough to speak, and then leans back in to kiss Mikey's neck, along his jaw and to his ear. Mikey's panting slightly, fingers clasping at Bob's hair and his body pressing against Bob's as his head spins with lust and craving.

"Yeah... Yeah," he breathes as Bob keeps kissing his neck gingerly, but as he finally opens his eyes, he sees something that easily clears his mind of all thoughts of going anywhere with Bob. The blonde stumbles backwards as Mikey pushes him away unexpectedly, but he manages to keep his balance while giving Mikey a 'what the fuck' look.

"I gotta go." He looks away from Bob, across the street to a bunch of trees, and even though what he saw isn't there anymore, he knows it is somewhere and he can find it. "I'm sorry. This was... fun, but I have to go. Thanks for the cigarettes and the drink." He catches Bob's eyes for a second before stepping around him and walking across the road.

"Mikey?" He hears Bob's confused voice from where he left him, but he doesn't stop until he's reached the other side.

"Don't follow me, and don't wait for me. It was nice to meet you." He turns away from Bob, and that's the last time Mikey sees him. He runs in among the trees, holding his arms up to keep from getting scratches and scrapes on his face because he can't see much in the dark, and he really doesn't need a messed up face on the day of his wedding. Both his mom, Frank's mom and Frank himself would probably try to kill him before they had had an opportunity to get married.

Once he steps out of the trees, he can't really see anything. There are no lights or houses nearby, and only now does Mikey remember that the hotel he's staying at is on the edge of town, not too far from city hall where him and Frank will have their union. "Gerard?" He takes a few careful steps forward, doing his best to avoid tripping over roots and bushes.

He calls out the angel's name again, turning around on the spot to look out for the shining white wings that he had spotted earlier. There's still nothing there to be seen, so he calls again, and again, slowly wandering further out into the darkness. "Gerard, I know you're there! Please, I just wanna see you," he calls out for what seems like the hundredth time, but he still gets no response.

"Gerard..." His voice is weak and broken, trembling, and he almost sinks down to the ground. He's warm and exhausted after walking in the warm summer night, and he wants so much for Gerard to just show himself. He saw him, he knows that he saw Gerard right there, across the street just as he agreed to go to Bob's room. Gerard was there, with his wings and pale skin and dark jeans.

"Go back to the hotel, Mikey." He recognizes the dark, raspy-but-still-kind-of-smooth voice immediately, and it takes all of the self control he can muster not to throw himself at Gerard when he turns around to look at the angel properly. He looks the same, like he always does, except for the ever growing wings, but Mikey barely even register the changes in them this time. He's too relieved to see Gerard.

Not saying a word, Mikey walks closer, easily finding Gerard's eyes that are glowing in the dark, golden and fiery, and it's almost like the first time he laid eyes on the angel. He's too awestruck by his beauty to think clearly, and he just can't look away. He reaches his hands out to touch Gerard's chest, and his fingers meet the strangely cool skin. Then, he steps closer and wraps his arms around his waist, pressing his own warm and slightly sweaty forehead, against Gerard's neck. Gerard doesn't hug him back for a few minutes, but when he does, Mikey only hugs him back tighter.

"You're not warm like you usually are," Mikey whispers in Gerard's neck, breathing in his scentless hair, and relishing in his presence. The alcohol's and nicotine's numbing effects have absolutely nothing on Gerard's. He makes the hugest troubles just disappear.

"It's because you are warm and would rather cool down than get even hotter," Gerard replies, holding still in Mikey's embrace. "It's just what you want it to be. What you need it to be to feel well." Mikey nods so that Gerard can feel it, and they remain in the hug for minutes afterwards, until Mikey can feel Gerard's body heat up and get as warm as he's used to.

Mikey smiles, nuzzling his face closer to the warm skin, but he pulls away after a few more minutes. "Can I kiss you?" He gazes into Gerard's eyes, one hand holding the side of his face and the other caressing the angel's neck. Gerard whispers Mikey's name in a 'no' type of voice, but what Mikey sees in his glowing eyes is telling him a very simple 'yes'. Their faces are already close, and Mikey only has to tilt his face slightly to his right to meet Gerard's lips.

It's short and simple, soft and warm, without a lot of movement of their lips. It feels utterly and completely perfect, and it's what Mikey has often dreamed about during that past year. "You shouldn't do that," Gerard mutters when Mikey pulls away again, still cupping the angel's face in his hands. "It's not right. It's not allowed."

"It feels right to me." Mikey turns around so his back is facing Gerard, and taking the angel's hands, he wraps the warm arms around himself. "I've missed you a lot." He leans back into Gerard's chest, nuzzling his head in under Gerard's chin.

"Why did you kiss that man? Why did you kiss me? Don't you care about Frank?" Gerard asks, moving his head so his mouth is just by Mikey's ear. "How can you do that when you're marrying him tomorrow?"

"Because I love you. You know that just as well as I do," Mikey whispers. "You don't understand what it does to me, loving two people, one more than the other, but only being able to see the one that comes second." There's a slight pause. "I'm scared, Gerard. What if I wake up one day and don't love him at all? I don't want to do that to him. I can't break his heart."

There's a long silence when Gerard doesn't reply, and Mikey doesn't continue, but Mikey is the one to break it anyway. "Take me to the lake. The one you took me to three years ago." Gerard doesn't say anything, but Mikey can almost hear him pondering. "Please, just take me there, Gerard."

"Why?" he asks, but instead of waiting for a reply, he continues, "I can't, Mikey. You should go back to the hotel. Go to sleep. Get ready for your big day." Mikey feels Gerard pulling away and turns around, a sad look on his face.

"I just wanna have this time with you, Gerard. Now that Frank and I live together... This is my one last chance to spend a night with you." He laces his arms around Gerard's neck, not letting the angel get further away from him. "Don't deny me that."

Gerard doesn't nod or say anything but, looking into his eyes, Mikey sees him silently agreeing. His arms return to wrap so tightly around Mikey that it almost hurts, but Mikey doesn't care as he presses closer, tightening his arms around Gerard's neck and peering out over the angel's shoulder. He doesn't close his eyes this time, but watches as the wings sweep through the air, lifting them up from the ground and into the air. Once they've reached a certain height, Mikey can't see much except the compact darkness and a slight shimmer of the white wings, but he has to look away because they're moving so fast it makes him feel dizzy and nauseous.

When they land and he feels solid ground under his feet again, his knees buckle and he just clings to Gerard to keep himself balanced. When he finally lets go and stands on his own, he looks down to see the white sand, and the lake on his right is glittering in the dim moonlight that's barely showing through the clouds.

He smiles to himself, thinking back to that day three years ago when he had woken up in the forest and seen Gerard watching him, but not been able to distinguish what was so special about him. He remembers following Gerard's footsteps down to the water, and he remembers what it was like to first realize that the great white, blurry things behind Gerard were wings. He remembers how he waded out into the water to touch the shiny feathers, and then being so cold when the sun had set. He remembers just how warm Gerard had been that night, how the wings surrounded them and kept out the cold wind.

"I wanna swim," Mikey says suddenly, grinning as he looks out at the black water. Gerard makes a surprised noise, looking at Mikey worriedly as he walks closer to the water. "It's been really warm lately, so it can't be that cold, y'know?" He brings his hands up to his shirt collar and quickly undoes all the buttons before shrugging it off his shoulders and pulling the t-shirt he wears underneath off. He sits down and unties his shoes, pulls them off and tucks his socks away inside of them as Gerard just stares at him, soundlessly. "I'm just gonna have a quick dip. I'll be fine."

"You'll get cold and sick. It's dark, you could hurt yourself," Gerard tries, but Mikey merely rolls his eyes as he stands back up to remove his jeans. He folds them up neatly next to his other clothes and reaches to pull his boxers off too. The less clothes that get wet, the more dry and warm clothes there is for him to put on once he gets back out of the water, he reasons. It's not like his guardian angel hasn't seen him like this before anyway. "You're drunk," Gerard points out, but Mikey shrugs it off. His head has only gotten clearer and clearer since he found Gerard, and he doesn't feel drunk at all anymore.

"Not much." Mikey carefully dips a toe into the water, trying out how cold it feels, then puts the entire foot down. A shiver runs up his spine and goosebumps appear all over his body, but he puts the other foot down in the water too, taking a careful step. Gerard was right about the water being dark; he can't really see where he puts his feet down, but he's not going to back out now. "I'll be fine, Gerard. And if anything does happen, you'll save me, right?" He throws a glance back over his shoulder to see the angel still frozen to the spot they had landed on.

"Yeah." He hears the weak reply and looks back forward as he slowly makes his way deeper into the lake. It's already up to his thighs, and the sensitive skin is almost stinging from the unfamiliar feeling of cool water like this. He wades out until the water reaches above his navel and then dives headfirst under the water. His eyes are closed as the water surrounds him, swallowing him, and he sighs because it's so relaxing. It's weird, but now that he's completely below the surface of the water, he doesn't really feel that cold anymore. The water is like a warm embrace, an escape from the air above.

He remembers when he'd go on vacations with his parents when he was little. They'd usually rent cabins by lakes like this one, and they'd stay there for a week, almost completely isolated from civilization, except for when they went to the supermarket, of course. Mikey liked to pretend that they were in the middle of a zombie invasion, and no matter how many times his mom told him to stop that nonsense, he wouldn't and she'd sigh exasperatedly.

He loved to swim, and he loved water. Zombies didn't like the water, so he was safe in the lake, and he would stay in there, playing for hours. Some days he didn't come up until his skin was wrinkly and his dad had to literally drag him up, and then carry his shivering body inside. But one day, when he was seven or eight, he really wanted to keep swimming, so after his parents had gone to bed, he put his bathing suit on and sneaked out to the water. He swam out to some rocks that were fun to dive from and climbed up, which he had learned to do without slipping.

Just as he was getting ready to jump back into the water, he slipped on a tiny puddle of water. He was falling backwards, he remembers it clearly, but then there was a gust of wind and he was suddenly pushed forward. Instead of falling and hitting his head on the hard rock, he fell into the hard water that he wasn't ready for, and it hurt when he swam back to the shore, but his parents had heard the splash and his dad met him halfway back.

They never went back to the lake after that summer, and Mikey realizes that the first time he went to a lake after that, was when Gerard brought him here. He also realizes that the reason he didn't hit his head against the rock that night was because Gerard had saved him by pushing him over the edge and into the water instead. It had hurt, but if he had hit his head he could have been knocked unconscious, and his parents wouldn't have found him until much later.

When Mikey comes back up for air he breathes in deeply, soothing the slight ache in his chest after having been under water for so long. He runs a hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face, as he looks around and back towards the beach and Gerard, but the angel has moved and is standing just a few paces away. The water reached to his navel, and Mikey easily calculated that it was where Mikey had been before he disappeared under the water.

"You saved me," Mikey says and Gerard looks confused because Mikey looks like he's completely fine. "Like, fifteen years ago. By the lake. I fell, and instead of letting me hit my head, you pushed me into the water." Mikey smiles and walks closer to Gerard who's just standing there, nodding slowly as if he's still only starting to remember. "Thank you." He hugs Gerard's warm body, and Gerard hugs him back, but it's awkward because Mikey is naked and Gerard is of course still wearing his jeans.

Mikey pushes that thought aside, though, as Gerard lets Mikey kiss him for a minute, softly and carefully as his hands cup Gerard's head and Gerard's arms hold Mikey close. When Gerard kisses back, Mikey grins against his warm lips, but doesn't break the kiss just yet.

When he eventually does, he's shivering cold and they make their way back to the shore and Mikey's clothes. Gerard keeps an arm wrapped around him, and as Mikey's teeth start shattering, he also wraps a wing around him, but not even that keeps him completely warm.

He's not fully dry when he puts his clothes back on, so they get damp as they meet his skin and then cling to it, not doing much to warm him up. The sand clings to his feet and then it sticks to his boxers and jeans, and wearing socks and shoes isn't very comfortable, but he can stand it. He doesn't regret swimming, and he certainly doesn't think of it as a bad idea. It was enlightening, and he feels so much closer to Gerard now, just from knowing that the angel had really been with him throughout all of his life. He had saved his life before the fire. He's glad that that was the first time they officially met, though.

"I'm cold." He smiles shakily at Gerard once he's fully dressed again. Gerard takes him into an embrace, wrapping both his arms and wings tightly around Mikey and it's almost like the last time they were here together. Only the fire is missing, and the fact that they were sitting down as Mikey fell asleep. He's not planning on falling asleep this time. Not when he knows that this could be the last time he ever gets to be with Gerard like this. It could be the last opportunity that Gerard ever has to show himself to Mikey like this. He's not letting that go, neither or them is. "I love you, Gerard."

"I know," the angel whispers, and they kiss for the third time tonight. Despite what Gerard said earlier about them being like this, that it isn't right, Mikey feels as if kissing Gerard is the only right thing to do right now, and he would gladly give up his ability and need to breathe if it meant kissing Gerard forever. His fingers weave through Gerard's silky strands of black hair, and he gladly pushes his body as close to Gerard's as possible when Gerard's hands fall to Mikey's hips.

"Will you come back to the hotel with me?" Mikey whispers against Gerard's lips once they break away. "Will you stay with me?" Their foreheads are pressed together, and Mikey's breaths are hitting Gerard's mouth in small puffs of air as their eyes gaze into one another. Gerard's glow almost yellow in the dark, and Mikey knows what the angel is going to reply. "You always say that you shouldn't, but I really do think that you should this time."

"Mikey... I want to come," Gerard says softly. "I'll stay."

Mikey smiles weakly, leaning in to kiss Gerard again, burrowing his face in Gerard's neck and holding on tight until they are both standing safe and sound in Mikey's hotel room. They hold on to each other for an extra long minute before letting go, and once they do, Mikey turns around and the first thing he sees is his suit hanging in it's plastic bag on the closet door. His overnight bag had carelessly been discarded underneath it.

"I'm gonna have a shower, to get the sand off," Mikey says, picking up the bag and digging out a clean pair of boxers and a t-shirt. He goes into the small bathroom and turns the water on, letting it heat up as he takes off his damp, sandy clothes.

He didn't want to just walk out on Gerard like he just did, but he can't be in Gerard's presence right now. Coming back to the hotel with Gerard seemed like a great idea just minutes earlier, but when they actually got here and Mikey was reminded of the reason he was feeling bad, Mikey just didn't know what to do.

It's unfair, it's so unfair that he loves Gerard, and wants him, possibly more than life itself, but he has to marry Frank, whom he loves too, but not as much. Mikey knows that Gerard loves him, he is completely sure of it, even if the angel hasn't actually said anything. Gerard's eyes speak loud enough for Mikey to know it, and it breaks Mikey's heart to know that Gerard can't say it himself. It's not allowed. Gerard's words from much earlier in the evening echo in Mikey's head, and he clamps his eyes shut to keep his tears of self-pity from falling.

He stays in the shower for a few more minutes before he gets out and gets dressed. Gerard is still standing in the middle of the room when Mikey goes back out, and he simply can't help but to go up to Gerard and kiss him before whispering: "I know."

Gerard doesn't reply, but cups his cheek and kisses him gently.

"I'm gonna go to bed," Mikey sighs. "Will you lie with me?" He nudges Gerard's cheek with his nose and presses a light kiss to his jaw.

"Yeah. I said I'd stay, didn't I?" Gerard gives him a small smile, and he feigns one back before he turns away. He's still just in boxers and a t-shirt, so after he has pulled the covers down, he removes the shirt and crawls in. There's a nagging feeling in him, but he can't really identify it. It hurts and he wants it to go away, to crawl into the heat and sleep forever.

Gerard lies down on top of the sheets, just like he did the previous year, and Mikey feels a little disappointed. "You're not taking those off?" he nods in the direction of Gerard's legs and the jeans that had dried miraculously fast after having been in the water.

"No." Gerard shakes his head before laying it down on Mikey's chest, causing a warmth to spread from Mikey's heart, out to his toes and fingertips. The fingers of his left hand thread through Gerard's hair, massaging the scalp gently, and the fingers of his right hand lace with Gerard's. Gerard's wings are spread out on either side of them, and are miraculously not in the risk zone of knocking something over as they hang off of the minuscule bed.

"I'm getting married tomorrow," Mikey sighs regretfully.

"I know." Gerard squeezes his hand reassuringly.

"Do you think I should?" Mikey glances down towards Gerard, but can only make out the top of his head.

"It doesn't matter what I think. You will get married tomorrow. It's what's supposed to happen." Gerard's voice is cold and emotionless, and it tears a little at Mikey's heart to hear him say that. "Just go to sleep, Mikey."

Mikey doesn't say anything before he falls asleep twenty minutes later.

*

When Mikey wakes up, his hand is still clasped tightly in Gerard's, and the other one is stroking the angel's hair unconsciously. When he realizes this, his hand freezes on the spot, though, and Gerard tilts his face up to look at him, a cute smile adorning his pink lips. Mikey smiles back, but it doesn't reach his eyes, or even his heart, and he feels bad. Gerard lets go of his hand and, placing both hands on either side of Mikey's shoulders, he lifts himself up before dipping his head down to let his mouth meet Mikey's.

They kiss for what feels like it's too little time, but they both know that any time is still too little. It's needy and clingy, and Mikey has never felt so desperate for someone's touch as he does for Gerard's. He wants to feel it forever. Hot lips on his own, big, warm and soft hands moving over his skin, caressing his chest and cheeks and lips when Gerard's mouth finds its way down Mikey's neck.

Tears prickle at the corners of his eyes when Gerard breaks away and stands up next to the bed. "I better go now. You have to get ready." Gerard's face looks almost neutral, but Mikey kneels on the bed so he can look into Gerard's eyes, and they're a murky, dark brown color.

"Yeah," Mikey agrees, but leans in to kiss Gerard just one more time, and then for one more embrace. "I love you. And, if I never see you again... I won't forget you," Mikey whispers in Gerard's neck, swallowing a sob and fighting back tears in his eyes.

"I know," Gerard whispers back and, letting go of Mikey with one hand, he reaches behind his back and pulls out a feather from one of his wings. Backing out of the hug, he puts the long white, shiny feather in Mikey's hand. Mikey looks down at it for just a second, and then, Gerard is gone.