Denial Used to Feel So Good

"Gah! I don't want to do this!" I complained to Tony as we stood just offstage as Cobra Starship performed, waiting for 'Good Girls' to start.

"Too bad, you already agreed." He shrugged, "Nothing I can do."

"You go out and sing!" I tried to shove the microphone into his hands. He laughed to himself.

"Come on Kyle, what's wrong? It's only half of a song!" He tried to calm me down, but that wasn't working. Nothing would work.

"I don't want to be onstage with him!" I glared at Gabe, who was dancing around onstage, sending bad vibes his way. But I didn't stare too long, for fear I would get distracted by his hips. Which I would never have noticed if it wasn'tColin reminding me that Gabe was God-like.

"Oh, come on." Tony nudged me with his elbow, "You know you've got to learn to share the stage. Otherwise you'll become a snotty, diva, wench, as they say, and we can't be havin' that..." I shot him a look that clearly said 'I'm not amused.'

"You know that's not what I meant..." I sulked. Tony only smiled, basking in my misery apparently. We watched in silence for barely a minute until I blurted out, "Please don't make me go out there! I'll trip again! I'll have an attack!"

"You will not!" Tony groaned, "Now stop! Everything's going to be fine. You're going to jinx yourself, so shut up."

"Thanks for the love." I scoffed.

"Anytime, babe." He said not catching my sarcasm, or possibly just ignoring it. I stuck my tongue out at him and he only smiled, "That looks gorgeous on you."

"Man, I hate yo-" I stopped short as 'Good Girls Go Bad' started to play, "TONY!" I latched onto his arm, "What do I do?! What do I do?!"

He sighed, prying my nails out of his skin, "You go out there and sing your little heart out." He put his hands on my shoulders and stared down at me, "You're going to do great." He kissed the top of my head, "Now shoo." He spun me around and pushed me forward. I fumbled to turn my mike on and then sucked up my nerves and walked out on stage, singing Leighton's part. At first I could hear the crowd's screams but then I could only hear myself singing. Going as far as Victoria, I stopped just to concentrate on singing. But Gabe had other plans.

He came over to me and grabbed my hand, dragging me right to the center of the stage. He took over on vocals and I stood there uncomfortably, waiting for my part to come in again. Gabe hadn't let go of my hand and, unexpectedly, he pulled me into him, still singing. His body moved against mine as he attempted to get me to dance. That caused the crowd to scream. Trying to loosen up and dance, but not wanting to be that close to Gabe, or at least, not wanting him to thinkI wanted to be that close, I slipped my hand out of his and pushed back slowly on his chest, moving us apart as I started singing again.

I saw Gabe smirk as I pushed him away and at the last second he snatched my hand again and twirled me around. I ended up right back where I started, pressed up against him, as he proceeded to make me exceedingly uncomfortable. In an admitted feeble effort to dance, I moved my hips but it was too weird, with Gabe practically grinding, and me only standing there.

Salvation came at last when the song ended to deafening applause. Gabe finally pulled back and soaked up the audience's praise.

"Kyle Miller, everybody!" He laughed into the mike, gesturing to me. I wanted to do nothing but punch him in the face, but refrained and smiled at the crowd. Leaving the stage with a wave.

"Oh, my God!" Tony was in hysterics when I found him and Colin and Kale at the side of the stage. I glowered at him and smacked him upside the head.

"Shut up!" I growled, embarrassment setting in.

"Wow, Kyle..." Kale, too, was trying to stifle his laughter. Disguising a fit of giggles as a cough he said, "That was kind of...risqué."

I turned my last friend, who I hoped would understand my discomfort, "Colin!" I pouted.

"Guys." He frowned disapprovingly at his friends and then turned to me, "Uh...do-...do you need a glass of water or something?" He choked out before doubling over from laughter. I rolled my eyes and pushed my way passed them to the showers.

"Assholes." I muttered to myself, but went to find some water.

After Icalmed down took a shower I rejoined my band of traitors. The Academy Is...were just starting their set.

"Feel better?" Colin asked putting an arm around my shoulder.

"You're on my hit list." I shrugged violently out of his hold. He chuckled, not realizing that I was serious.

"So, how did everyone like the show?" I could hear the smugness in his voice as he approached out group.

"Awesome!" Tony was the first to chime in.

"I have to admit it was quite entertaining." Kale laughed. I whipped around and glared at Gabe.

"You." I hissed, pointing a menacing finger.

"What?" He asked innocently. I grabbed a fistful of his shirt and dragged him away from the crowd, out of sight. When we were alone, I let go of his shirt and gave him a push.

"I swear to God," I began in a low tone, "if you ever pull a stunt like that again, I will rip off your limbs and feed them to Sisky's cat. Do you understand me?"

"That's morbid, Kyle." He seemed unaffected by my threats, and that made me, if anything, angrier.

"I mean it!" I snapped. A smirk spread across his lips and he took a step closer to me.

"Why? Did it get you excited? A little bit emocionada?" He purred.

I was forced to give him another shove in the chest as he advanced on me, "I'm not fucking around with you!"

"Oh, but I wish you were."

I closed my eyes and ran my fingers through my hair in a feeble attempt to keep from lashing out, "I will not go onstage with you, if you are going to continually violate me, comprende?"

"Oh, god," he moaned, "say that again." I gave a growl that was part out of disgust and part out of frustration before I stomped away. My intent was to head out to the van, lock myself in and scream until my lungs gave out but before I could even get out of the door, Ryland blocked my passage.

"Hey, Kyle,"

I sighed, I didn't want to freak out on Ryland, because he was a sweetie, but I wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone, "Listen, Ryland, I'm really not-"

"No, I know." He said quickly, "It'll only take a second!" I nodded, reluctantly, urging him to continue, "I think what Gabe did was uncalled for and I wanted to apologize for him. He really doesn't know when to stop. But other than the fact that you were extremely uncomfortable and milliseconds away from punching Gabe in the face, it was really fun to have you onstage."

I melted a little, "Aw, thanks Ry."

"And I was wondering if I talked to Gabe, would you please, please, please come back out for the rest of the tour?"

"Uh, I'm not so sure-" I tried to think of a polite way to decline. I really did not want a replay of tonight....every night...for the rest of the tour. I wasn't so sure I could take it.

"Just think about it?" He pleaded, pulling out a pout.

"Fine, I'll think about it." I rolled my eyes but cracked a smile when he did too.

"Yes! Thank you!" He pulled me into a hug.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't agreed to it yet." I laughed, shaking my head as he released me.

"Right, save the celebrating for later."

"You probably just jinxed it." I informed him as we both turned our separate ways; all I heard him mumble was 'damn.'

After The Academy Is...played we immediately packed up and were on the road again. Tony and Kale were using the spare bunks and Colin and I were stuck in the creeper van. I never truly appreciated how boring riding in the car is and how painful sleeping in a car is. By the time we stopped the next morning I had permanent pillow imprints on my face. But considering how much sleep I got, I really couldn't have cared less.