Denial Used to Feel So Good

"You look...wow, Kyle."

"Uh, yeah...right. Only because of my gorgeous jewelry."

"Ah, yes. That must be it. Where did you get that fine necklace?"

"Oh, I don't know, this one guy..."

"He must have excellent taste. I imagine he would be utterly gorgeous with a perfect smile."

"Something like that."

"So, I hope you don't mind, but the restaurant I got reservations at isn't fancy."

"Oh, no. It really doesn't matter."

"Great. I'm glad we're doing this."

I couldn't bring myself to respond to that. Saying 'me too', would be a lie. William was so excited and Iwillingly grabbed his hand and followed him out of the hotel. Turns out, 'dinner' meant him and I. Alone. Together. Again. But I was fine. Keep telling yourself that, Kyle.I was having fun.Fun? Are you joking? This is the worst form of torture a person could possibly endure. William was nice.Epically full of himself... And my thoughts were directly related toGabe, Gabe, Gabe ourdate outing.

"But even though I was sick, I did awesome. We put on a good show." Bill finished his enthralling tale with a satisfied smirk.

"I'm sure you did." I smiled blandly, trying my hardest not to roll my eyes. Instead I took a heavy sip of my wine.Which tasted disgusting, in case you were wondering. A good indicator of how the date is going. Horrible wine, horrible restaurant, horrible conversation, horrible company.

I couldn't even lie to myself anymore. We were only a half hour into the night and I was already wishing I was back in Gabe's hotel room. That sounded unintentionally sexual, Kyle. Are you sure your subconscious mind isn't trying to tell you something?I would rather be screaming at Gabe than trying to hold a civil conversation with this boring man in front of me.

Although he did throw in a compliment every now and again and ask me cordial questions, his charm was really no match for Gabe's. I never truly appreciated how suave Gabe is until forcing myself to laugh at William's so-called 'wit'. William used that dry, cheesy flattery. The kind that makes you want to groan and then gouge our own eyes out with an Oreo.

Yes, an Oreo. One of those delicious treats. Yummy filling sandwiched between chocolate cookies. That's how bad this was going. Death by Oreo. Let me emphasize Oreo. It really was ridiculous.

"So, I told him of course not. I mean, I can't work under those kinds of conditions!"

"Oh, totally. No, yeah I completely understand." I nodded, possibly over-acting. He didn't seem to catch my obvious disinterest and continued.

"Thank you! Some one gets it! The guys thought I was making a big deal out of it, but I wasn't right?" He once again looked to me to feed his ego.

"No, you were definitely right." I humored him, finishing off my wine and looking around for a waiter to fill 'er up again.

"I knew I was!" And then he went off on another tangent. Useless drabble flowing out of his mouth like there's no tomorrow. I tuned out again.

I wish I wasn't in this position. I wish I never would have said yes to this dinner.But I thought it was going to be everybody going out to dinner with us. If that was the case, I probably wouldn't have even talked to William. I probably would have been seated by Gabe. We probably would have been incredibly uncomfortable. What with our fight and the...incident the previous night. But anything besides this.

Gabe. As upset as I was, I couldn't help but think I would rather be out with him. I couldn't believe his attitude; how he had yelled at me, seemingly out of no where. Part of me was still stunned at his lack of sensitivity and his sudden outburst. I really thought he cared. And after our night out. After our dance. After our kiss.

Good, God...his fucking kiss. Thinking about it sent me shivering. I swear I could have jumped him right then and there. He tasted delicious.

But...then he had to ruin it and reclaim his title as 'biggest ass on the whole freakin' tour' by yelling at me. Apparently he didn't give a shit about me. Or my problems.I'm not sure I believe that. That was the optimistic side of my mind. The part that was also saying 'Oh, don't worry! He's not just trying to get in your pants. He really cares.'Which we know with all guys is a lie. But maybe Gabe's different.

Okay mind, if Gabe's different then I'm a freaking rainbow-fairy-ballerina. Nice visual, Kyle. This is the inner workings of my brain. And I should not be left alone with them. But, it's not like I had a choice. Bill, over there, had bored me into a state of psychosis. I'm having this mental battle with myself as he babbles on and on about how he's adored by millions of fan girls.

So is Spongebob. You're not all that swell, Bill.

I finally managed to flag down a waitress to re-fill my drink. It was going to be a night of heavy drinking.